The document contains a series of humorous cartoon captions about dieting and exercise. Many poke fun at unusual or ineffective diet plans like the Acupuncture Diet, Bunny Suit Diet, and yo-yo dieting. Others joke about overeating or weight gain from stress like a personal growth seminar. The captions aim to lightheartedly critique dieting trends and behaviors.

1. Cartoons by Randy Glasbergen

2. What fits your busy schedule better, exercising one hour a day or being dead 24hours a day?

3. Tell me more about Acupuncture Diet. Does it really work?

4. I’m incognito. I lost 20 pounds and I don’t want it to find me again.

5. If hopping burns more calories than walking and it helps you eat more salad, then OK, I approve of the Bunny Suit Diet.

6. I have one pill that blocks fat, one pill that blocks carbs and one pill that blocks the kitchen door.

7. Don’t worry about burning the calories… that’s already been done!

8. I like Italian dressing on my salad, but I’m trying to reduce my dependence on foreign oil.

9. It’s OK to devour your competitors and gobble up smaller companies, but remember to have a few veggies, too!

10. I recommend yo-yo dieting. Lower a yo-yo into your food, eat whatever sticks to the yo-yo.

11. I see thin thighs in your future. In your next life, you will come back as a flamingo.

12. I didn’t start gaining weight until my boss sent me to that personal growth seminar!

13. I had fun, fun, fun till my doctor took my T-bone awaaaaaaaaay!

14. My body is apple-shaped and yours is pear-shaped. How can we be unhealthy if we look like a fresh fruit salad?

15. First Goldilocks ate Papa Bear’s porridge, then she ate Mama Bear’s porridge, then she ate Baby Bear’s porridge…and her cholesterol dropped 14 points!