This document discusses stress management techniques including dialectics and locus of control. It defines stress and different types, and explains how understanding what is within and outside of one's control (locus of control) and using dialectical thinking to consider opposing viewpoints can help manage stress. Techniques taught include validating one's own and others' experiences, thinking dialectically to find balance between extremes, setting authentic goals, and using the Serenity Prayer as a guide.

1. Stress Management
Dialectics and LOC
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2. Objectives
 Define stress and stress management
 Explore how understanding locus of control and
using dialectics can reduce stress
 Identify techniques to help people learn to use
dialectics and embrace a balanced locus of
control.
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3. What is Stress?
 Stress is anything that requires energy
 Eustress: Skydiving, pregnancy, laughter, digestion,
vacation
Makes you happier, healthier or keeps you alive
 Distress: Conflict with a co-worker, illness, pain, nois,
crowding, vacation…
Protects you from threats (Fight or Flight, depression)
 Managing stress means
 Not exceeding energy supply
 Balancing eustress with distress (5:1)
 Ensuring there is sufficient recovery time from each
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4. Stress Management, Dialectics and LOC
 Locus of control refers to how much control a
person feels they have over their destiny
 Dialectics encourages people to examine and
incorporate all valid aspects of situations
recognizing that things can be…
 Controllable and uncontrollable
 Helpful and unhelpful
 Painful/upsetting and soothing/consoling/for the best
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addiction,
relationships,
weather. jobs

5. Authenticity
 Knowing what is important to you can help you
balance extremes and make effective choices to
change in a way that gets you closer to your goals
and reduces distress.
 What is important to you…
 Physically (health, fitness, senses)
 Environmentally (housing, surroundings)
 Interpersonally (People/pets, relationships, level of
connection)
 What are your values
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6. Locus of Control
 Internal Locus of Control
 I control everything all the time
 A belief that hard work and personal abilities will lead
to positive outcomes and a strong sense of personal
responsibility for future thoughts and aspirations.
 How can an internal LOC
 Decrease distress
 Increase distress
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7. Locus of Control
 External Locus of Control
 I have control over nothing. Fate/God determines
what happens
 Less likely to work to reach their full potential due to
the motivational, emotional, and cognitive deficits it
creates. Such as…
 How can an external LOC
 Decrease distress
 Increase distress
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8. Serenity Prayer
 G.O.D. grant me
 The serenity to accept the things I cannot change (EL)
Because trying to change the unchangeable is a waste of
precious energy)
 The courage to change the things I can (IL)
Because I can use my energy to move me toward what is
important to me
 The wisdom to know the difference (Dialectics)
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9. Validation of Self and Others
 Validation doesn’t mean agreeing—You feel how you feel.
 What to validate
 The valid
 Example: “It is stupid to get this upset over the toilet seat.”
 Every invalid response makes sense in some way
 The facts
 People’s feelings, experiences, challenges and beliefs
 How to validate:
 Empathy/Mindfulness
 Reflection of feeling and manifest and latent content
 Acknowledging the valid
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10. What are Dialectics?
 Once you have validated it is time to address the situation
to reduce distress, improve relationships or increase
wisdom
 Dialectics means balancing opposites accepting that things
can both be true and untrue
 Truth evolves over time
 Everything is interconnected
 Change is transactional
 There is always more than one way to see a situation
 There is more than one way to solve a problem
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11. Dialectics
 Dialectics occur along many dimensions
 Self and group/family/community reactions and identity
 Self and other individuals identity and reactions
 Logical mind vs. emotional mind
 Empowered vs. Helpless
 Impulsive/Urgency vs. Radical Acceptance
 Self-denial vs. Self-indulgence
 Activities
 Choose an issue. (Gardening)
 Describe the extremes
 Identify what you are doing too much of vs. too little of (avoid
good and bad)
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12. Goals of Dialectics
 Reduce suffering/reactivity
 Increase happiness
 Increase wisdom
 Increase sense of personal validity
 Improve relationships
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13. Thinking Dialectically
 View the facts of the situation from both sides (Devil’s
Advocate)
 Ask “What am I missing?”
 Let go of extremes/catastrophizing
 Use metaphors and similes
 Look for similarities and common ground
 Validate both sides and work toward change
 Pay attention to your effect on others
 Practice letting go of blame
 Remember that all behaviors and feelings are caused
 Why is this situation provoking this reaction?
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Tommy was late getting
home for the third time
that week and Sally was
irate

14. Activity—Examples of Dialectics
 Tough and gentle (Parents)
 Being independent and needing help
 Problem solving and problem acceptance
 Needs vs. Wants (Time management, relationships)
 Staying the same vs. change
 Emotion regulation and emotion acceptance
 Trust and suspicion
 Taking and giving
 Wanting to be alone yet connected to others (Introverts)
 Observing and participating
 Belong in one group, but not in another (Neighborhood)
 Be a good person and make hurtful choices (Addiction)
 Have valid reasons for your beliefs, but still be wrong (Relationships)
 Be mad at someone, and still love them
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15. Challenging Examples
 Children: Nice vs. mean
 Children: Good vs. bad
 Children: Independence vs. dependence
 Children: Parent’s divorce
 Oppositional/Disrespectful child
 Smoking/drinking
 Body image
 Parent dies of cancer
 “Good” relationship ends
 Unhealthy relationship ends
 Unable/unwilling to connect for fear of being hurt
 Reality (plane crash, stock market)
 Failure
 Victimization/never feel safe
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16. Summary
 Stress comes in many different forms
 Stress can keep us going and get us motivated
 Too much stress is exhausting
 Locus of control helps people realistically
examine how much control they have over a
situation
 Dialectics help people deal with distress by
embracing and examining the opposing forces or
points in a situation.
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