Brené Brown discusses the importance of vulnerability and accepting imperfections in building connections with others. David Brooks talks about focusing on "eulogy virtues" like love, redemption and compassion rather than just resume virtues. The document discusses improving self-awareness by following the LAST model - learning about self-awareness, applying techniques through reflection, sharing insights, and training others.

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Picture credit - ​WorkplaceSolutions
Day 37 - Self Awareness Skill
16 May 2020
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Prabodh Sirur
sirurp@gmail.com
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My learning for the day
Today I want to summarise two TED talks on Self Awareness Skill. The first
talk is about appreciating the beauty of imperfections in us.
Talk 1 - ​The power of vulnerability
Speaker - Brené Brown, Vulnerability Researcher
Summary -
The first task Brené planned for her research was to start connecting with
people.
She found these first interactions interesting -
when she asked people about love, they would tell her about ​heartbreaks
when she asked them about belonging, they would tell her their most
excruciating ​experiences of being excluded
when she asked them about connection, the stories she got were about
disconnection
Another common theme she found about people was ​shame​ (and the
underlying was - if other people know it, I won't be ​worthy of connection​).
She also noticed from all the stories she collated was - there were two
categories of people -
those who had ​high self-worth​ (and strong sense of love and belonging) and
those who ​struggled for self-worth​ and were always wondering if they were
good enough.
Those with high self worth believed that they were ​worthy of love and
belonging​.
They had a sense of courage of ​accepting themselves as they are​, and a
courage to ​accept their imperfections​.
They had compassion to be ​kind to themselves​.
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All this ​authenticity​ and acceptance of their ​vulnerability​ helped them
build connections.
Their willingness to accept All kinds of emotions gracefully made them
‘wholehearted’​.
They realise that they can not say NO to grief, shame, fear and
disappointment and say YES to joy, gratitude and happiness. They have
learnt to accept and live with the whole package of emotions and not the
positive part alone.
In essence, a great part of self-awareness is ​appreciating the beauty of
imperfections​ in us.
Talk 2 - ​Should you live for your résumé or eulogy?
Speaker - David Brooks, Author and Thinker
Summary -
The ​résumé virtues​ are those that are the skills you bring to the
marketplace and
the ​eulogy virtues​ are those that are deeper; they are about who you really
are.
David’s talk is an essence of what he learnt from Joseph Soloveitchik, a rabbi
and author of "The Lonely Man Of Faith" (1965). Soloveitchik wrote about two
sides of each of us - Adam I and Adam II.
Adam I is ambition, an external side of us.
Adam II is goodness, our internal side.
Adam I wants to conquer the world.
Adam II wants to hear a calling and obey the world.
Adam I savors accomplishment. Adam II savors inner strength.
Adam I's motto is "success." Adam II's motto is "love, redemption and
return."
Adam I is built by building on your strengths. Adam II is built by fighting your
weaknesses.
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Self awareness is nothing but appreciating Adam I and Adam II within us and
observing the constant confrontation between the two.
What is Self Awareness Skill?
Self-Awareness is the ability to see yourself clearly and objectively through
reflection and introspection
My learning so far on this topic
Day 7 post​ - What Is Self-Awareness? Four daily practices
Day 17 post​ - Importance of self-awareness and Bandura’s Self efficacy
Day 27 post​ - Imposter syndrome, Advices from Gurus about daily journaling
How to improve this skill?
Set a goal to ​become a go-to person​ by mastering the art and science of ​Self
Awareness Skill​.
Follow the ​LAST model​ to build your personal brand as a Guru of ​Self Awareness
Skill​.
Learn​ - Invest time in learning different frameworks/ models/ techniques of ​Self
Awareness Skill
Apply​ -
Identify a model suitable to you
Create a template to document the flow of the process
Find opportunities to use the selected method/ template
Maintain record/ process flow of every important activities you did with
respect to ​Self Awareness Skill
Maintain notes of your thoughts/ insights/ failures/ challenges…. to be used
for sharing/ training others
Share​ - Share the insights captured in step 2 above in a planned manner (social
media posts, blogs, videos, study notes…)
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Train​ - Generate opportunities to train your peers and team members so that, over
time, your organization benefits from your efforts
Purpose of this document
I took a 66 day challenge​ to study Life Skills last year (10 April 2019). To my
astonishment, I succeeded in studying for 66 days one skill a day.
My objectives of learning these skills were - To strengthen my mind to face life’s
challenges with ease, To use these skills in my worklife for a better performance, To
use these skills in my personal life for enriching my relationships, To open new
possibilities to surprise myself.
This is my next 66 day challenge​ (from 10 April 2020) - To share my Life Skills
learning with my social media friends.
I pray that my toil helps you in your success journey.
What are Life Skills?
UNICEF​ defines Life skills as - ​psychosocial abilities​ for adaptive and positive
behaviour that enable individuals ​to deal effectively with the demands and
challenges of everyday life​. They are loosely grouped into three broad categories
of skills
- cognitive skills​ for analyzing and using information,
- personal skills​ for developing personal agency and managing oneself,
- inter-personal skills​ for communicating and interacting effectively with others.
Which LifeSkills are covered?
The ​World Health Organisation​ identified these basic areas of life skills that are
relevant across cultures:
1. Decision-making
2. Problem-solving
3. Creative thinking
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4. Critical thinking
5. Communication
6. Interpersonal skills
7. Self-awareness
8. Empathy
9. Coping with emotions
10. Coping with stress.
Some trivia
‘Life skills’ was never part of the school curriculum. WHO/ UNESCO mandated
academia to teach these skills in all schools across the globe in 1993.
Different countries educate their children in these skills with different objectives
- Zimbabwe and Thailand - prevention of HIV/AIDS
- Mexico - prevention of adolescent pregnancy
- United Kingdom - child abuse prevention
- USA - prevention of substance abuse and violence
- South Africa and Colombia - positive socialization of children.
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