66 day challenge

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Picture credit - ​Dumbo - Encyclopaedia Britannica
Day 59 - Coping with emotions
7 June 2020
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Prabodh Sirur
sirurp@gmail.com
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My learning for the day
Today I want to summarise two movies on the topic of coping with emotions.
Movie 1 - Dumbo (1941)
Disney’s Dumbo is an animated musical based on a children’s book of the
same name written by Helen Aberson and illustrated by Harold Pearl.
The Plot
A flock of storks delivers babies to all mother animals in a circus in Florida,
except the elephant Mrs. Jumbo.
A lost stork brings her a baby that is adorned with extraordinarily large ears.
The young baby is made an object of ridicule by other animals and given the
nickname "Dumbo".
Mrs. Jumbo attempts to remain dignified and treats her child with all her
maternal love, but when a group of rascals takes to mocking Dumbo, Mrs.
Jumbo catches one of them with her trunk and spanks him. The circus
ringmaster deems Mrs. Jumbo mad and has her locked in a cage.
The lonely and emotionally hurt Dumbo is made a pariah amongst the rest of
the circus troupe.
A small mouse named Timothy consoles Dumbo and vows to make him a
star.
One night, he and Timothy inadvertently become intoxicated on champagne,
and the next morning Dumbo wakes up on the top of a tree. Timothy realizes
that Dumbo’s ears must have allowed him to fly.
This newfound ability, coupled with a boost of self-confidence, allows Dumbo
to become a hero in the circus and to reunite with his mother.
The Learning
You make more mistakes and underperform when you lose confidence (In an
elephant pyramid act, Dumbo is placed at the top of the pyramid. He trips
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over his large ears, causing the other elephants to suffer various injuries, and
bring down the big top.)
We must not lose hope in ourselves. Our uniqueness always comes out one
fine day
When you have soulmates around, it helps you in coping with your miseries
Movie 2 - Inside Out (2015)
The Plot
Riley is born in a small town in Minnesota. Within her mind's Headquarters,
five personifications of her basic emotions - Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust, and
Anger - come to life and influence her ways of doing things via a control
console.
At the age of 11, Riley moves with her parents to San Francisco for her
father's new job. Unknown town, local pizza parlour selling only broccoli
toppings, father’s job stress, the cramped and old house etc. makes Sadness
take control.
Throughout the movie, we can see how emotions struggle with taking the
lead and ultimate control over Riley.
“Inside Out” does a phenomenal job illustrating the emotional conflicts
children can go through. The constant battle between joy and sadness.
As in real life, sadness is often misunderstood and disliked. The movie
illustrates how other emotions do not see the value sadness has. By the end
of the movie joy realizes how important sadness is and how sometimes we
need to allow some sadness in order to experience joy.
The learning ​from ​Total Life Counseling
1. ​Identify emotions​ - It is important to teach children how to identify their
emotions. Children should understand that ALL emotions are needed and
they are equally important. Emotions play an important role as they guide
our perceptions of the world
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2. ​Accept emotions and not repress them​ - Repressed emotions can
contribute to mental health conditions, such as stress, anxiety, and
depression
3. ​Express emotions correctly​ - Emotions are a form of data or information. It
is important to accurately convey in a way that the recipient can accurately
perceive
4. ​Regulate emotions​ - When we confront a provoking stimulus, the
amygdala (a brain site that regulates the fight-or-flight responses and also
storehouse of memories associated with emotional events) allows us to buy
time to decide on fight vs flight. We must consciously make use of this ‘pause’
to design a win-win response (my thought; not supported by research)
My learning so far on this topic
Day 9 post​ - Plutchik wheel of emotions and ways to cope with emotions
Day 19 post​ - Association of emotions with endocrine system, the Chakras
and the Yoga postures
Day 29 post​ - Learning from an RJ (Radio Jockey)
Day 39 post​ - Two TED talks - The gift and power of emotional courage & Why
we all need to practice emotional first aid
Day 49 post​ - Two books - The Book of Human Emotions & Emotional
Intelligence 2.0
What is Coping with emotions?
Emotions are biological states brought on by thoughts, feelings, behavioural
responses, and a degree of pleasure or displeasure.
The basic emotions are
1. joy/ sadness,
2. acceptance/ disgust,
3. fear/ anger,
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4. surprise/ anticipation.
The word "emotion" dates back to 1579, when it was adapted from the French word
émouvoir, which means "to stir up". Emotions create responses in the brain called
feelings.
Emotions are neuro-physiological reactions unleashed by an external or internal
stimulus (emotions are physical). Feelings are a self-perception of specific emotions,
being a subjective expression of emotions (feelings are mental)
Coping with emotions is -
a. understanding the patterns of emotions,
b. understanding our responses to emotions and
c. taking corrective and preventive actions
How to improve this skill?
Set a goal to ​become a go-to person​ by mastering the art and science of ​coping
with emotions​.
Follow the ​LAST model​ to build your personal brand as a Guru of ​coping with
emotions​.
Learn​ - Invest time in learning different frameworks/ models/ techniques of ​coping
with emotions
Apply​ -
Identify a model suitable to you
Create a template to document the flow of the process
Find opportunities to use the selected method/ template
Maintain record/ process flow of every important activities you did with
respect to ​coping with emotions
Maintain notes of your thoughts/ insights/ failures/ challenges…. to be used
for sharing/ training others
Share​ - Share the insights captured in step 2 above in a planned manner (social
media posts, blogs, videos, study notes…)
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Train​ - Generate opportunities to train your peers and team members so that, over
time, your organization benefits from your efforts
Purpose of this document
I took a 66 day challenge​ to study Life Skills last year (10 April 2019). To my
astonishment, I succeeded in studying for 66 days one skill a day.
My objectives of learning these skills were - To strengthen my mind to face life’s
challenges with ease, To use these skills in my worklife for a better performance, To
use these skills in my personal life for enriching my relationships, To open new
possibilities to surprise myself.
This is my next 66 day challenge​ (from 10 April 2020) - To share my Life Skills
learning with my social media friends.
I pray that my toil helps you in your success journey.
What are Life Skills?
UNICEF​ defines Life skills as - ​psychosocial abilities​ for adaptive and positive
behaviour that enable individuals ​to deal effectively with the demands and
challenges of everyday life​. They are loosely grouped into three broad categories
of skills
- cognitive skills​ for analyzing and using information,
- personal skills​ for developing personal agency and managing oneself,
- inter-personal skills​ for communicating and interacting effectively with others.
Which LifeSkills are covered?
The ​World Health Organisation​ identified these basic areas of life skills that are
relevant across cultures:
1. Decision-making
2. Problem-solving
3. Creative thinking
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4. Critical thinking
5. Communication
6. Interpersonal skills
7. Self-awareness
8. Empathy
9. Coping with emotions
10. Coping with stress.
Some trivia
‘Life skills’ was never part of the school curriculum. WHO/ UNESCO mandated
academia to teach these skills in all schools across the globe in 1993.
Different countries educate their children in these skills with different objectives
- Zimbabwe and Thailand - prevention of HIV/AIDS
- Mexico - prevention of adolescent pregnancy
- United Kingdom - child abuse prevention
- USA - prevention of substance abuse and violence
- South Africa and Colombia - positive socialization of children.
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