CW 1 Car Industry and AIby Victoria StephensonSubmission.docx

CW 1 Car Industry and AI
by Victoria Stephenson
Submission date: 03-Jan-2020 12:53PM (UTC+0000)
Submission ID: 1239134764
File name:
14900_Victoria_Stephenson_CW_1_Car_Industry_and_AI_2780
16_1651532176.docx (39.1K)
Word count: 2448
Character count: 13114
Overall structure looks clear, but what is the main focus of
paragraph
5?
Non-academic source
Referencing error
Good point /
s
Pt 1. Search method
issue 1
This is not the title of the article - it is 'Driving Tests Coming

for Autonomous Cars'. Make sure your referencing
is accurate.
Pt 1. Search method
issue
This article does not come up on a Google Scholar
search.
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QM
QM
FINAL GRADE
60/100
CW 1 Car Industry and AI
GRADEMARK REPORT
GENERAL COMMENTS
Instructor

Source Selection: 6 (One merit criteria met; two of the
sources are less academic)
Source Evaluation and Use of Sources: 7 (Both Merit
criteria met)
Processing Text: 6.5 (mid-mark) One Distinction criteria
met - main points are all clear, support is repetitive /
less clear in places - make sure you give specific
examples / data).
Research and Understanding: 4.5 - mid-mark awarded.
Search methods are unclear / could not be followed.
Conclusions are good and clearly indicate reading has
been undertaken and understood.
24 / 40
PAGE 1
Text Comment. Overall structure looks clear, but what is the
main focus of paragraph 5?
PAGE 2
Non-academic source
Remember that your sources must be reliable/trustworthy. This
means they should be books,
academic journal articles, or reports from governments or
international organisations. Do not use
general websites as primary sources.
Referencing error

QM
QM
QM
QM
QM
QM
QM
Check the guidelines on the cover page of this submission
template to make sure you have
formatted the reference accurately.
Good point / s
Pt 1. Search method issue
You have not explained where you found your source or have
used a non-academic search engine.
This is not good practice for academic study; please use either
Google Scholar, StarPlus or the
reference lists of other related academic papers.
Comment 1
Google Scholar would be a better starting point, or you could
follow up on research cited in the
website article to make sure that the research is academic and
non-biased.

Text Comment. This is not the title of the article - it is 'Driving
Tests Coming for Autonomous
Cars'. Make sure your referencing is accurate.
Pt 1. Search method issue
You have not explained where you found your source or have
used a non-academic search engine.
This is not good practice for academic study; please use either
Google Scholar, StarPlus or the
reference lists of other related academic papers.
Text Comment. This article does not come up on a Google
Scholar search.
PAGE 4
Good source selection
This is a reliable and relevant source.
Referencing error
Check the guidelines on the cover page of this submission
template to make sure you have
formatted the reference accurately.
Pt 2. Clear source evaluation
You have fully explained the currency, authority and accuracy
of this source.
Good point / s

QM
QM
QM
QM
QM
QM
QM
QM
PAGE 5
Pt 2. Good, clear indication of how source will be used.
Comment 2
Make sure you are supporting, not repeating your main point.
Pt 2. Good, clear support provided
PAGE 6
Good source selection
This is a reliable and relevant source.
Pt 2. Clear source evaluation

You have fully explained the currency, authority and accuracy
of this source.
Pt 2. Good, clear indication of how source will be used.
PAGE 7
Pt 2. Good, clear point
This point is clearly relevant to your essay question and is well
paraphrased.
Pt 2. Good, clear support provided
PAGE 8
Good point / s
RUBRIC: CW1 RUBRIC FINAL
SOURCE SEL A)
FAIL: 0 - 1
BELOW PASS: 2 - 3
PASS: 4 - 5
MERIT: 6 - 7
DISTINCTION: 8 - 10
SOURCE SEL B)

FAIL: 0 - 1
BELOW PASS: 2 - 3
PASS: 4 - 5
MERIT: 6 - 7
DISTINCTION: 8 - 10
SOURCE EVA A)
FAIL: 0 - 1
Pass: 4 - 5
a) Number and credibility of sources included in the list * The
references provided for all 5 sources
a) Poor and/or inappropriate literature/material selected;
required number of sources not
included. * You need 5 correctly referenced academic sources:
journal articles, books or
reports from governments or international organisations.
a) Predominantly poor and/or inappropriate material selected
with selection appearing to
be random. * You need 5 correctly referenced academic sources:
journal articles, books
or reports from governments or international organisations.
a) Acceptable sources selected; two sources may be of lower
quality / lack currency. *
Check that all your references are accurate and from academic
sources: journal articles,

books or reports from governments or international
organisations.
a) Reliable sources selected overall; one source may be of lower
quality. * Check that all
your references are accurate and from academic sources: journal
articles, books or
reports from governments or international organisations.
a) All five sources included in the list are reliable and
appropriate for academic purposes.
Merit: 6 - 7
b) Relevance of sources to title * Part 1: This source is relevant
because…
b) Texts are unconnected – no obvious focus for the reading. *
Your sources’ titles must
be related to your essay question. You should explain how the
information in these
sources is connected to the question.
b) Texts are only generally linked to the topic; the relevance to
the title is unclear. * Your
sources’ titles must be related to your essay question. You
should explain how the
information in these sources is connected to the question.
b) Texts are relevant to the research topic and title, though link
may be less clear in
places. * Explain clearly how the information in these sources is
related to your essay
question.
b) The relevance of the texts to the research topic and title is

made clear. * Add more
detail related to how the information in the sources is connected
to your essay question
b) Relevance of all texts to the research topic and title is made
explicit and is clear.
Merit: 6 - 7
a) Evaluation of sources * Part 2: Currency, Authority,
Accuracy
a) No attempt to evaluate the reliability of sources. * Look at
the model answer in the CW
1 Assessment Brief for examples of how to evaluate the
reliability of all three sources in
part 2.
BELOW PASS: 2 - 3
PASS: 4 - 5
MERIT: 6 - 7
DISTINCTION: 8 - 10
SOURCE EVA B)
FAIL: 0 - 1
BELOW PASS: 2 - 3
PASS: 4 - 5

MERIT: 6 - 7
DISTINCTION: 8 - 10
PROC. TEXT A)
FAIL: 0 - 1
a) Weak / faulty evaluation of the reliability of the sources. *
Look at the model answer in
the CW 1 Assessment Brief for examples of how to evaluate the
reliability of all three
sources in part 2.
a) Evaluation of the reliability of the sources present, but
provides minimal detail which is
weak, faulty or repetitive in some areas. * Provide more detail
about the currency,
authority and accuracy of all three sources in part 2. Make sure
you have included an
explanation of how you know the source is relevant and
reliable, rather than just stating
the year of publication or the job of the author.
a) Sound evaluation of the reliability of sources; reasoning and
detail may be clearer for
some sources than others. * Provide more detail about the
currency, authority and
accuracy of all three sources in part 2. Make sure you have
included an explanation of
how you know the source is relevant and reliable, rather than
just stating the year of
publication or the job of the author.
a) Clear and sound evaluation of the reliability of all sources
provided.

Merit: 6 - 7
b) Use of sources * Part 2: Which point will the information and
arguments from the text be used to support or
explain?
b) Unclear why sources have been selected, and how they will
be used in the essay. *
Write the paragraph number from your ‘plan for overall
structure’ that the information in the
sources relates to (eg. P3) and explain how this source will be
used to support this
paragraph.
b) Largely unclear how sources will be used to support points in
the research essay. *
Write the paragraph number from your ‘plan for overall
structure’ that the information in the
sources relates to (eg.P3) and explain how this source will be
used to support this
paragraph.
b) Indication of how sources will be used in the essay is
generally clear, but may lack
detail or relevance in places. * You have made it clear where
and how you are going to
use one of your sources. Add more detail to this section
b) Clear indication of how two of the sources will be used in
research essay; sources
appropriate to support points. * You have made it clear where
and how you are going to
use two of your sources. Add more detail for the third source.
b) Clear indication of how all three sources will be used in

research essay; sources
appropriate to support points outlined in essay plan.
Distinction: 8 -
10
a) Identification of key relevant points in the text. * Part 2:
Relevant points from the text
a) Does not demonstrate the ability to identify main ideas from
an academic text – either
academic texts are not used, points are unclear, or are
completely lifted. * Choose 3 main
points from each source. They must be relevant to the topics of
your body paragraphs.
BELOW PASS: 2 - 3
PASS: 4 - 5
MERIT: 6 - 7
DISTINCTION: 8 - 10
PROC. TEXT B)
FAIL: 0 - 1
BELOW PASS: 2 - 3
PASS: 4 - 5
MERIT: 6 - 7

DISTINCTION: 8 - 10
RES.&UND. A)
FAIL: 0 - 1
Remember to use your own words!
a) Demonstrates limited ability to identify main lines of
argument in an academic text;
main points are missing, unclear, repetitive or lifted. * Choose
3 main points from each
source. They must be relevant to the topics of your body
paragraphs. Remember to use
your own words!
a) Demonstrates some ability to identify main lines of argument
in an academic text; some
points may be clearer than others. * You have identified some
relevant points but they are
not all clear. All main points must be relevant to your body
paragraph topics and
expressed clearly in your own words.
a) Demonstrates ability to identify main lines of argument in
academic texts with the
majority of points clearly relevant and clearly expressed. * You
have identified relevant
points but more specific detail is needed for some of them.
Make sure all your main points
are expressed clearly.
a) Demonstrates ability to identify main lines of argument in all
three academic texts; all
points are clearly relevant and clearly expressed.

Pass: 4 - 5
b) Identification of relevant supporting evidence provided in the
text. * Part 2: Supporting evidence / example /
data from the text
b) No attempt to provide supporting information; information is
missing, irrelevant or
inappropriate. * All the main points you include must have
clearly linked supporting
information. This support can be examples, data or results from
studies. Remember to
paraphrase and add citations.
b) Attempt to provide supporting information for main points,
but largely unclear or
repetitive; points are lifted from texts. * All the main points you
include must have clearly
linked supporting information. This support can be examples,
data or results from studies.
Remember to paraphrase and add citations.
b) Distinguishes supporting details from main points although
some supporting evidence
may be less clear or relevant. * Check that all the supporting
information is relevant to the
main point and add more detail (examples, data or results from
studies). Remember to
add citations. You may need to check the quality of your
paraphrasing!
b) Provides clear supporting information relevant to the main
points in a text. * Add more
detail to improve this mark (examples, data or results from
studies). Remember to add
citations. You may need to check the quality of your

paraphrasing!
b) Produces effective notes on relevant supporting ideas and
details.
Below Pass: 2
- 3
a) Evidence of ability to research * Part 1: I found this source
by…
a) No evidence of ability to find relevant and reliable sources
demonstrated. * Explain how
BELOW PASS: 2 - 3
PASS: 4 - 5
MERIT: 6 - 7
DISTINCTION: 8 - 10
RES.&UND. B)
FAIL: 0 - 1
BELOW PASS: 2 - 3
PASS: 4 - 5
MERIT: 6 - 7
DISTINCTION: 8 - 10

you found your sources in Part 1. Eg. Where did you search,
what search terms did you
use? Make sure you have used a valid search technique (not ‘I
googled it’). Show
evidence of more than one search technique. Check the CW 1
Model for examples.
a) Lacking evidence of ability to find relevant and reliable
source; search method is
unclear, inappropriate or repetitive. * Explain how you found
your sources in Part 1. Eg.
Where did you search, what search terms did you use? Make
sure you have used a valid
search technique (not ‘I googled it’). Show evidence of more
than one search technique.
Check the CW 1 Model for examples.
a) Some evidence of ability to find relevant and reliable sources
demonstrated; more than
one search method has been used. * Give more detail about how
you found your sources
in Part 1. How did you refine your search results? Eg. Change
the data range, use
different key words? How did you make sure you weren’t
following up on research that all
presented the same position on a topic?
a) Evidence of ability to find relevant and reliable sources
demonstrated; effective search
methods used and outlined. * Give a little more detail about
how you found your sources
in Part 1. How did you refine your search results? E.g. Change
the data range, use
alternative key words? Check the CW1 model in the assessment
brief.

a) Clear evidence of ability to find relevant and reliable sources
demonstrated; effective
search methods used and fully outlined.
Merit: 6 - 7
b) Evidence of subject knowledge * Part 2: Conclusions drawn
from you reading
b) Demonstrates no discernible knowledge or understanding. *
Use the ‘conclusions
drawn from your reading’ section to show that you understand
key issues related to the
essay question that you identified from the sources. Remember
to use your own words;
do not copy and paste from texts.
b) Demonstrates little or confused understanding of content;
student has simply lifted text
and / or has only covered one aspect of the title. * Use the
‘conclusions drawn from your
reading’ section to show that you understand key issues related
to the essay question that
you identified from the sources. Remember to use your own
words; do not copy and paste
from texts.
b) Demonstrates general knowledge and coverage of some areas
but need development.
* There is some good evidence of knowledge and understanding
of the topic, but write
clearer conclusions drawn from your reading to show you
understand the key issues
related to your essay question that you have found in your
reading. Remember to use
your own words; do not copy and paste from texts.

b) Demonstrates good understanding and coverage of the
relevant material and issues. *
Good evidence of knowledge and understanding of the topic, but
write clearer conclusions
drawn from your reading to show that you understand the key
issues related to your
essay question that you have found from your sources.
Remember to paraphrase all
information in your CW1.
b) Demonstrates thorough understanding and coverage of the
relevant material and
issues.
CW 1 Car Industry and AIby Victoria StephensonCW 1 Car
Industry and AIGRADEMARK REPORTFINAL
GRADEGENERAL COMMENTSInstructorRUBRIC: CW1
RUBRIC FINAL
Academic English Skills: Coursework 1 Questions
Pathway: September Foundation Engineering and Science
Deadline for CW 1 first draft: 14th February 2020 (2:00pm)
Deadline for CW 1 final draft: 6th March 2020 (2:00pm)
Questions Genre Start your research with this source:
1. Evaluate the effectiveness of Massive Open Online Courses
(MOOCs) in providing a degree-level education. What are the

strengths and weaknesses of such courses, and how realistic is
to
expect them to replace face-to-face learning in the future?
Discursive de Freitas, I., Morgan, J. and Gibson, D. (2015)
'Will MOOCs transform
learning and teaching in higher education? Engagement and
course
retention in online learning provision'. British Journal of
Educational
Technology, 46 (3), pp.455-471.
2. Robots are increasingly replacing humans in the modern
world.
Discuss the impacts of this trend on developed and developing
countries.
Discursive Rossiter, J. (2017) 'Robotics, Smart Materials, and
Their Future Impact for
Humans', in N. M. Deano (ed.) The next step: Exponential life.
Spain: BBVA,
pp.28-44. Available at: https://www.bbvaopenmind.com/wp-
content/uploads/2017/12/Ficha-The-Next-Step.pdf [Accessed
13th
November 2019]
3. Consider the ways in which space exploration has affected
our
modern world. Discuss the financial impacts and consider
whether
this investment has been beneficial for science.
Discursive Thumm et al. (2014). 'International space station
accomplishments update:
Scientific discovery, advancing future exploration, and benefits
brought

home to earth'. Acta Astronautica, (103), pp.235-242.
4. In order to provide effective health care to individuals,
medical
professionals must be willing to work and capable of working as
part
of a multidisciplinary team.' Discuss the above statement,
indicating
your position on the topic. To support your thesis, select two
illnesses/conditions for which a multidisciplinary approach to
treatment is recommended.
Argument Firth-Cozens, J. (2001) ‘Multidisciplinary teamwork:
the good, bad, and
everything in between’. BMJ Quality & Safety, (10), pp.65-66.
5. In which ways and to what extent can architecture and urban
planning promote equality among citizens? Focus your answer
on one
area from (a) gender equality, (b) accessibility or (c) social and
affordable housing.
SPSE Burgess, G. (2008) ‘Planning and the Gender Equality
Duty – why does
gender matter?’. People, Place and Policy Online, 2 (3), pp.112-
121.
Remember:
You should use the recommended source as a starting point for
your research; you are not required to include it in your work.
Your coursework submission must be your own work. Do not
collaborate with other students, use proof-reading services or
software, or essay mills. Sources used must be in English. Using

translation software and failing to acknowledge sources is
academic misconduct.
AES Coursework Assessment Brief
What
Coursework 1:
In this assessment, you will:
- design an essay title related to your subject of study.
- find five additional reliable sources related to your essay.
- write an annotated reference for two of your sources, outlining
how the source is relevant to your essay (what useful
information, arguments, data or examples it provides) and how
you found the source (eg. via Google Scholar, the University
library, from a reading list, following up on a reference in
another article)
- write a brief source evaluation for three further sources,
outlining how you have identified the source as suitable for
academic use.
- identify three main points which are useful from each of the
three sources, and the supporting evidence provided.
- note the part of the essay for which the points are useful.
- note the conclusions you have drawn from your reading on the
topic.
This coursework is the first stage of your AES coursework
portfolio. You will be required to present and answer questions
on your research in CW 2, and write a research-based essay of
2500 words in CW 3. There is no word limit for CW 1. You can
write in note-form, as you are not marked for the accuracy of
your language, but you must use your own words. You cannot
demonstrate your understanding of the sources you have read if
you copy from the text.
Why
CW 1 tests your ability to research and plan an extended

research essay by:
- analysing an essay title and answering it with relevant points
and ideas.
- finding useful, credible academic sources to inform your ideas
in answering the question.
- reading and identifying relevant information for your essay.
- identifying the main points and supporting evidence in
sources.
- draw conclusions from your reading.
- integrating your own ideas with ideas from your sources.
- discussing your conclusions in a tutorial.
This assessment counts for 40% of your final mark for reading.
When
Stage 1) [ENTER DATE] Complete the CW 1 planning
document and show it to your tutor for approval. This ensures
you have understood the requirements of the essay question
correctly, and that your choice of sources is appropriate before
you go any further.
Stage 2) [ENTER DATE] Go through the CW 1 Checklistand
Feedback Sheet to make sure you have completed the
assessment fully and correctly, and submit the draft of your
source report.
Stage 3) [ENTER DATE] Your tutor will provide feedback on
your draft in a tutorial. Make notes of your tutor’s comments on
the CW 1 Checklistand Feedback Sheet. Your tutor will advise
you on whether your submission is acceptable as a piece of
academic work, or if further work is needed. You will also be
asked in the tutorial to talk through your research so far and
show the sources you have found.
Stage 4) [ENTER DATE] Submit your CW 1.
How
Your work is submitted and marked electronically. Your tutor
will give you the marking criteria and samples of student
submissions so that you can see how the assessment is marked.
Your work will automatically be checked by similarity software
(Turnitin) to make sure you have submitted work in your own

words. You may be able to submit your work ahead of the
submission deadline in order to check the similarity score.
What if…
I don’t choose relevant or reliable sources?
- Your tutor will check your sources before you write your first
draft. Make sure you have used the best source of information
(if you find some interesting data reported in a newspaper,
follow up on the original source, rather than just citing the
newspaper, for example).
- Use the sources you are given as a starting point; follow up on
references mentioned in the texts, consult reading lists for your
subject and ask in the library for help finding relevant material.
my similarity score on Turnitin is high?
First, check your similarity report. Any wording on the template
will be picked up as plagiarism, so your tutor will not count
that. Check whether chunks of your writing have been
highlighted in the report; this indicates you have not
paraphrased effectively. Poor paraphrasing is a form of
plagiarism, and will result in your work being reported for
academic misconduct. You should therefore revise your work
and resubmit it before the assessment deadline. This assessment
requires you to identify and summarise key points from the text
in your own words; you should not just use direct quotations
from sources in this assessment.
You can find further information on the Academic Misconduct
process in your Student Handbook.
I submit the coursework late?
If you submit an assessment late, a penalty will be applied to
your final mark. The penalties for late submission are outlined
in your Student Handbook.
I don’t pass CW 1?
You should submit a draft of CW 1 so that your tutor can
provide you with feedback to improve your work before you
submit it.
You will need a minimum score for your overall reading mark
in order to meet your progression requirements. If you score

below 40% on CW 1, you may be required to resubmit at the
end of the module. If your CW 1 needs improvement or
development, you can resubmit a re-working of your original
submission. If you are awarded zero due to Academic
Misconduct (ie. you have submitted work which is not your
own), you will be given a new essay title to research and plan.
I don’t submit CW 1?
You must submit complete all three components of the module
in order to demonstrate that you have met all the learning
outcomes. Your final mark may be withheld if your assessments
are incomplete. If you are unable to submit CW 1 by the
deadline, you will need to apply for mitigating circumstances.
Further information on mitigating circumstances can be found in
your student handbook.
I miss part of CW 1?
If you only submit part of CW 1 (you complete the first two
annotated references, but not the source evaluation part, for
example) your work will be penalised according to the marking
criteria. In this example, you would be awarded zero for Source
Evaluation andUse of Sources, and Processing Text.
Can I…
use sources that I am reading for my subject?
Yes. You should not submit the same assessment for two
modules, as this is academic misconduct, but you are able to use
material you are reading in your subject module in the AES
Coursework.
Related documents:
Overview presentation of CW 1
Samples of marked student submissions
CW 1 Checklist and Feedback Sheet
CW 1 Submission Template

How to complete the CW 1 Planning document
You need to complete the planning document to show your tutor
like this:
Essay title or question:
Title:
Critics depict zoos as animal prisons where animals are
exploited for entertainment. Discuss the impacts of captivity
and human interaction on animal behaviour and welfare. To
what extent are the concerns upheld by the scientific
community?
Add the key question words from your title and what they refer
to – this shows you have understood the question correctly.
Approach verbs
Ideas to be explored
Discuss
How are animals affected by living in zoos? What are the
benefits and drawbacks? Does it make a difference if animals
are born in captivity?
To what extent
How far are the claims that zoos do not prioritise animal
welfare and conservation valid?
You can write in note form, but make sure it is clear what the
key points / arguments you are going to cover are.

- Who are the critics? Are they scientists?
- What are the main criticisms of zoos? What is the evidence
base for the criticisms?
- What are the main effects on animals in captivity in terms of
the space they live in? Is it dependent on the animal or the
environment?
- What are the main effects on animals in captivity of human
interaction? Does human presence bother animals in the same
way? What is the issue – noise? smell? physical contact?
- Are there issues when animals are in captivity and then are put
back into the wild?
- Have zoos done anything to improve conditions and respond to
criticisms? Is there evidence that the measures have been
effective?
- What are the positives of zoos / captivity? Conservation /
education. Would animals be negatively affected if there were
no zoos?
You don’t need to decide what your position is yet; this will be
informed by your reading, but if your title asks for a position,
you should show that you plan to include it.
Issues to be considered

List at least six sources you plan to use. Do not include the
sources you were given in your list of six. Make sure you have
formatted the references correctly, and that they are ordered
alphabetically. Make sure the sources you include are
appropriate for academic use.
List of sources:
Bertram, B. (2004) ‘Misconceptions about
zoos’, Biologist, 51(4), pp.199-206.
Reference journal articles like this.
Conde, D. A., Flesness, N., Colchero, F., Jones, O. R., &
Scheuerlein, A. (2011) ‘An emerging role of
zoos to conserve biodiversity’. Science, 331(6023), pp.
1390-1391.
Conway, W. G. (2011) ‘Buying time for wild animals with
zoos’, Zoo biology, 30(1), pp. 1-8
Fernandez, E.J., Tamborski, M.A., Pickens, S.R. and
Timberlake, W. (2009) ‘Animal–visitor interactions in the
modern
zoo: Conflicts and interventions’, Applied Animal
Behaviour Science, 120 (1-2), pp.1-8
Hosey, G., Melfi, V. and Pankhurst, S. (2009) Zoo animals:
Behaviour, Management and Welfare. Oxford University
Press, New York (USA)
Reference books like this.

Mason, G. J. (2010) ‘Species differences in responses to
captivity: stress, welfare and the comparative
method’ Trends in Ecology & Evolution, 25 (12), pp.713-
721.
Melfi, V. A. (2009) ‘There are big gaps in our knowledge, and
thus approach, to zoo animal welfare: a case for
evidence‐based zoo animal management’, Zoo Biology:
Published in affiliation with the American Zoo and
Aquarium Association, 28 (6), pp.574-588.
Reference chapters inbooks like this.
Paul-Murphy, J., & Molter, C. (2019) ‘Overview of Animal
Welfare in Zoos’, In: R. Miller & P.Calle (Eds) Fowler's Zoo
and Wild Animal Medicine Current TherapyVolume 9,
Elsevier: Missouri, pp. 64-72.
Quadros et.al. (2014) ‘Zoo visitor effect on mammal behaviour:
Does noise matter?’ Applied Animal Behaviour
Science, 156, pp.78-84.
Salas, M. & Manteca, X. (2017) ‘Visitor Effect on Zoo
Animals’ Zoo Animal Welfare Education Centre Factsheet.
[Online] Available at: https://www.zawec.org/en/fact-
sheets/111-visitor-effect-on-zoo-animals [Last Accessed
Reference reports found on websites like this.
7.06.19
Wickins-Dražilová, D. (2006) ‘Zoo animal welfare’, Journal of
agricultural and environmental ethics, 19(1), pp.27-36.

Academic English Skills Coursework 1: Source Report
Name:
Class:
Date:
Title:
Critics depict zoos as animal prisons where animals are
exploited for entertainment. Discuss the impacts of captivity
and human interaction on animal behaviour and welfare. To
what extent are the concerns upheld by the scientific
community?
State the purpose of each paragraph – make sure it is clear how
it will add / develop your overall argument.

Plan for overall structure of essay:
Plan for overall structure
Introduction – context and position: While there are issues with
zoos, they are currently essential in conservation and education.
The scientific community are working at a global and national
level to mitigate the negative impacts of captivity on animal
welfare
P1. Background: The aims / purpose of zoos
P2. Conservation and Species Protection - the role of zoos
P3. Key issues and concerns related to animal welfare –
overview of complexity of the issue
P4. The effect of human visitors on animal behaviour – effect
on animal welfare / behaviour and if negative effects can be
mitigated
P5. Physical Space and Exhibits – effect on animal welfare /
behaviour and if negative effects can be mitigated
Conclusion
Add more paragraphs to the template if you need them.
Part 1: Annotated List of Sources
Select TWO sources you have read and plan to use in your essay
and complete the table below outlining:
· why the text is useful for your essay
· how you found the source.
You will focus on three different sources in part 2. Include a
reference in the following format:
Books / chapters of books:
Surname, I. and Surname, I. (Year) Title of the book Place of
Publication: Publisher
Surname, I. (Year) ‘Chapter of the book’ In: I. Surname & I.
Surname (Eds) Title of the book Place of Publication:
Publisher pp.1 - 18
Journal articles (print/ online)

Surname, I. (Year) ‘The Title of the Article’ The Name of the
Journal 1 (1), pp. 1- 18
Reports / articles online
Surname, I. (Year) ‘The Title of the Article or Report’[Online]
The Name of the Organisation or website. Available at:
url [Last Accessed 23.07.19]
Lectures / talks
Surname, I. (Year) ‘The Title of the Lecture or Talk’ [Online]
TED Available at: url [Last Accessed 23.07.19]
Note that you should summarise and paraphrase key information
in the text in order to demonstrate that you have understood the
sources. You may use bullet points. You are not marked for
your language accuracy, but you will be penalised for copying
text from the source.
Source 1
Type of source:
Book
Reference:
Hosey, G., Melfi, V. and Pankhurst, S. (2009) Zoo animals:
Behaviour, Management and Welfare. Oxford University Press:
New York
This source is relevant because...
it offers a comprehensive overview of the topic. The books has
chapters on several aspects of zoo management in terms of their
housing, breeding, feeding, etc. from both welfare and
regulation perpectives. Chapter 13 looks at the effects of human
visitors on zoo animals, Chapter 10 focusses on the value of
zoos in conservation and chapter 14 outlines areas where further

research is needed. The book is aimed at those studying or
working in the field, so is accessible but research-based.
I found this source by…
Using Google Scholar. I entered the search ‘zoo animal welfare’
and I was able to view the table of contents and the introduction
online. I then requested the book from the University Library
Source 2
Type of source:
Journal
Reference:
Conway, W. G. (2011) ‘Buying time for wild animals with zoos’
Zoo Biology, 30(1), 1-8
it presents the argument that today’s zoos are now the lifeline of
a number of species. The article explains that due to human
interference and the resulting loss of land and biodiversity, zoos
and parks are becoming the only viable way to protect animals.
The article presents research from the World Association of
Zoos and Aquariums that suggests that greater resource should
be invested in the conservation work carried out by zoos and
parks. Conway presents and an interesting perspective that
while zoos may not be ideal, they may be essential in stopping
significant numbers of animal species going extinct due to
human activity and climate change.
Using the online University library using the search terms

‘endangered species + conservation’
Part 2: Source Report
Complete the source report for THREE more sources you have
read. Include:
· The reference
· How you have identified the source as suitable for academic
use
· Three main points from the text which are useful for your
essay, including the supporting information for each idea or
argument
· The section of your essay the information will be useful for;
make sure you cover different parts of your essay
· Conclusions you have drawn from your reading
Source 3
Reference:
Fernandez, E.J., Tamborski, M.A., Pickens, S.R. and
Timberlake, W. (2009) ‘Animal–visitor interactions in the
modern zoo: Conflicts and interventions’, Applied Animal
Behaviour Science, 120 (1-2), pp.1-8
Source Evaluation
Currency
When was the text published? Are the citations and references
used in the text current?
This article reviews research on about zoo exhibits, animal
behaviour, and the impact of humans on animals in zoos. The
article was written in 2009, and it covers a significant amount
of previous research done in this field, along with make
suggestions for improvements which have been implemented in
recent years.

Authority
Who is the author / organisation? Are they qualified? Is the
source peer-reviewed?
Four researchers contributed to this paper; all have worked in
various Departments of Psychology or Psychological and Brain
Sciences, working with animal behaviour, in both Indiana and
Oklahoma Universities. The lead researcher, Eduardo
Fernandez, is currently (as of 2019) an animal welfare scientist
linked with Florida Institute of Technology.
The article is published in a peer-reviewed journal.
Accuracy
Where does the information in the article come from? Are
academic conventions used?
The article references other academic and scientific research
throughout, using appropriate academic conventions and style to
provide support for their claims. The article is objective and
evaluates both the positive and negative effects of human
visitors on animal behaviour, and provides suggestions for
improvement in zoo conditions.
Your source may be useful for one part of your essay, or
several.
Which point will the information and arguments from the text
be used to support or explain?
The information in this source is useful for three sections of my
essay: Identifying the aims of zoos (P1) and the effect of animal
enclosure space (P5) and visitors (P4) on animal behaviour and
welfare. It also offers some solutions on how the negative
effects of human presence have been addressed in some zoos.
Supporting evidence / example/ data in the text
Modern zoos have five primary goals: animal welfare,
conservation, education of the public and entertainment
Add the page numbers for your evidence as it will help you find
it when you are writing your essay. Make sure you note any

secondary citations so that you can reference accurately later.
· p2 -The majority of visitors come for entertainment (Altman,
1998; Reade & Waren, 1996) but without the element of
entertainment, zoos would be unable to achieve their other
goals. The entertainment factor is essential in generating
income and raising awareness of conservation.
- p4 - Anderson et al. (2003); Hosey (2005) – entertainment
ensures that visitors visit zoos repeatedly – this generates
revenue for conservation and animal care.
- p2 - Anderson et al. (2003); Hosey (2005) – study shows time
people spend with animals leads to positive perceptions of
animals, which leads to an increased support for conservation
projects.
Visitor effects on animals: Noisy crowds negatively affect
animal behaviour: measured by changes in behaviour and
physiology.
Changes in behaviour:
· p5 - Mallapur & Chellam (2002) - Leopards increased ‘pacing’
when the zoo was extremely busy. Interpreted as an attempt to
maintain distance from visitors, possible attempt to escape.
· p5 - Birke (2002) - Orangutans covered their heads with paper
sacks and infants held onto their mothers significantly more
with large group of visitors
· p5 - Chamove et al. (1988) - Tamarins, Diana monkeys, ring-
tailed lemurs and mandrills - increase in aggression and a
decrease in grooming, inactivity when visitors were present.
Changes in physiology:
· p5 - Davis et al, (2005) Spider Monkeys - measure stress by
via urinary cortisol levels indicates positive correlation between
cortisol levels and visitor numbers.
Modifying animals’ living space / interaction with visitors can
mitigate some of the negative effects of human presence.
- Most studies suggest that zoo visitors produce stress, but

Margulis et al. (2003); Nimon & Dalziel (1992) suggest that
animals may adjust and become accustomed to zoo visitors.as
expected.p6- Anderson et al. (2002); Davis et al. (2005) -
Exhibits design to be ‘naturalistic’ and provide retreats to give
the animals some control in stressful situations.
- p5 - Anderson et al. (2002) - African pygmy goats and
Romanov sheep - an increase in ‘petting zoo’ visitors led to
aggressive and escape behaviour as the animals found it
difficult to form distance from humans. When a retreat space
was provided, undesirable behaviours were reduced.
- p6 - Blaney Wells (2004); Wells (2005) - Gorillas - less
aggressive and less abnormal behaviour when camouflage
netting was installed.
Source 4
Reference:
Conde, D. A., Flesness, N., Colchero, F., Jones, O. R., &
Scheuerlein, A. (2011) ‘An emerging role of zoos to conserve
biodiversity’. Science, 331(6023), 1390-1391.
Source Evaluation
Currency
This article was written in 2011, containing important points
which were shared at the 2010 Convention on Biological
Diversity, which is an ongoing treaty between many nations for
developing processes of ensuring sustainable biological
diversity.
Authority
The leading researcher is a director of science for Species 360,
a global non-profit organisation working for zoological research
and an associate professor at Max-Planck Odense Center on the

Bio-demography of Aging and the Department of Biology at the
University of Southern Denmark. The other contributors all
come from highly academic backgrounds and work in the field
of species protection.
Accuracy
The purpose of the article is to examine the options for captive
breeding and look at solutions for the loss of biodiversity –
many options are considered, giving the source high objectivity.
Referencing of data, information and guidelines from respected
sources is clear.
This article is useful for the part of my essay focussing on
whether zoos play a key role in animal conservation. (P2) The
information and evidence in this source has helped me
determine that the scientific community does not necessarily
agree with the view of zoos as simply a source of entertainment.
Captive breeding may be the only way to save some animals by
counteracting or reducing the threat of extinction.
- p1 - Thibault et al. (2001) Captive breeding has the
potential to protect animal populations against threats like
disease or pressure from non-native species (e.g. egg predators
on islands) until reintroduction into the wild is possible.
- p1 - Other example of species saved from near extinction:
- Van Dierendonck & Wallis de Vries (1996) - Wild horse
- Belant et al.(2010) - Black footed ferret
- Meretsky et al.(2000) - California Condor
Captive breeding is not without problems – it may cause other

issues, such as hybridisation.
- p1- Barnett et al. (2006) - Facilities need to be in place to
avoid technical difficulties such as hybridisation when species
are managed together in order to reduce costs.
Further issues with captive breeding occur when animals are
released into the wild; they are more vulnerable to poachers as
their survival skills are comprised. However, some zoos are
providing animal training programmes to counteract this.
- p1 - Spalton et al. (1999); Morell (2008) - Poaching is a
problem when animals are released, for example the
reintroduction of Arabian Oryx in central Oman where local
communities were not sufficiently involved in conservation.
- p1 - Barnett et al. (2006) - The ability of animals to learn
crucial skills that allow them to survive in the wild (e.g., fear of
humans or predators) may be compromised.
- p1 – Possible solution - White et al. (2005) – Discusses the
establishment of training programs in zoos to prepare animals
for survival – eg. Puerto Rican parrots which are unable to
escape predators in the wild - problem solved by ‘pre-release
aviary-based stimulation and exercise program.’
Source 5

Reference:
Paul-Murphy, J., & Molter, C. (2019) ‘Overview of Animal
Welfare in Zoos’, In: R. Miller & P.Calle (Eds) Fowler's Zoo
and Wild Animal Medicine Current TherapyVolume 9, Elsevier:
Missouri, pp. 64-72.
Source Evaluation
Currency
This source has very high currency as it was published this year
and refers to many changes that have happened very recently.
Authority
The authors are reputable researchers and professors at the
University of California working in the field of veterinary
medicine, giving them strong authority in their field.
Accuracy
The purpose of the article is to give an overview of what animal
welfare means. It also discusses how this is assessed in zoos
along with the principles and guidelines that those who work in
zoos follow.
The evidence is reliable as there are clear academic conventions
in citing and referencing other research done in the area and
specific references to the organisations currently dealing with
animal welfare.
This article helps in the first part of my essay, where I will
address the concerns around animal welfare (P1). It also
provides useful information for the section on the effect of

physical space / environment (P5).
A key issue around the discussion of animal welfare is the lack
of an international standard, and also disparity between the
needs of different animals; this makes the establishment of a
‘standard’ problematic.
- Duncan (1981) – A new perspective of animal welfare is
that welfare refers to a characteristic of the individual animal.
- Hill & Broom (2009); Koene (2013) - Animals in zoos
come from a variety of backgrounds, with differing life
experiences and ability to reaction to challenges. For example,
an animal that stays in zoos its whole life and one that is
temporarily resident until reintroduced to the wild require
different skills or another example of an animal brought into an
urban zoo from a semi-free-ranging facility or vice versa.
Efforts have been made to establish a system of measuring
animal welfare in captivity: ‘animal-based’ and ‘resource-
based’ (Blokhuis 2008)
- p3 - Blokhuis (2008) - ‘Animal-based welfare’ focuses on
the physical, behavioural, and mental state of the animals and is
measured from the animals’ perspectives, which can be
scientifically challenging i.e. mental state.
‘Resource-based welfare’ focuses on natural history such as
the amount of space, temperature, diet, and veterinary care.
- Maslow’s hierarchy addressed Animal Rights and results in an
animal retaining and encouraging natural abilities. The
foundations for survival include physiologic needs for shelter,
water, and hygiene. Followed by the animals’ physical health
and safety needs. Finally, welfare-related activities, such as
social needs, mental stimulation, and choice.
www.waza.org/en/site/home p.4

One approach to addressing animal welfare is designing animals
spaces based on species
· p3 - Kagan & Veasey (2010) – ‘Exhibit design’ must be
species-specific, incorporate appropriate space; environmental
enrichment, natural exercise and social interactions with other
animals in the location. As outlined in Blokhuis (2008) resource
based welfare.
· p5 - Kagan & Veasey (2010) – A priority for the welfare of an
animal in captivity is that the animal should be able to perform
and behave as they would in a natural environment / the wild.
· p1 - Mench & Kreger (1996) - It is the responsibility of the
zoo to demonstrate a current and up to date knowledge of
animals’ needs by providing a suitable environment.
Conclusions drawn from your reading
· There are valid criticisms of zoos – particularly in countries
where regulation is weak or unclear, but there is evidence that
many zoos have invested research and resources into mitigating
against welfare issues.
· Research suggests that there are significant benefits to animal
conservation through being kept in captivity.
· The scientific community are very aware of the challenges
presented by keeping animals in captivity and are working
collaboratively to find solutions.
· There is evidence that the situation it is improving all the time
due to growing awareness of animal needs and support for
conservation projects.
You will be given a tutorial following submission of the
assessment. In the tutorial, you will be asked to:
· Show your tutor how you found your sources
· Talk your tutor through what you think are the useful parts of

the sources
· Ask any questions you have on the assessment
· Get feedback on the work you have done so far
This assessment is worth 40% of your reading mark. The mark
you are awarded for Evidence of Subject Knowledge may be
amended based on your tutorial discussion.
Mark
Source Selection
a) Number and credibility of sources included in the list
b) Relevance of sources to title
Source Evaluation and Use of Sources
a) Evaluation of sources
b) Use of sources
Processing text
a) Identification of key relevant points in the text.
b) Identification of relevant supporting evidence provided in the
text.
Research and Understanding
a) Evidence of ability to research
b) Evidence of subject knowledge
8 – 10
Distinction
a) All sources included in the list are reliable and appropriate
for academic purposes.
b) Relevance of the texts to the research topic and title is made
explicit and is clear.
a) Clear and sound evaluation of the reliability of all sources
provided.

b) Clear indication of how all three sources will be used in
research essay; sources appropriate to support points outlined in
essay plan.
a) Demonstrates ability to extract information and ideas from a
number of academic texts.
b) Produces effective notes on relevant supporting ideas and
details.
a) Clear evidence of ability to find relevant and reliability
sources; a wide range of search methods have been used.
b) Demonstrates thorough understanding and coverage of the
relevant material and issues.
6 – 7
Merit
a) Reliable sources selected overall; one or two sources may be
of lower quality.
b) The relevance of the texts to the research topic and title is
made clear.
a) Sound evaluation of the reliability of sources; reasoning and
detail may be clearer for some sources than others.
b) Clear indication of how two of the sources will be used in
research essay; sources appropriate to support points.
a) Demonstrates ability to identify main lines of argument in
academic texts.
b) Provides clear supporting information relevant to the main
points in a text.
a) Evidence of ability to find relevant and reliable sources
demonstrated; a range of search methods have been used.
b) Demonstrates good understanding and coverage of the
relevant material and issues.
4 – 5
Pass
a) Acceptable sources / material selected, though may be lower

quality in some areas.
b) Texts are relevant to the research topic and title, though link
may be less clear in places.
a) Evaluation of the reliability of the sources present, but
provides minimal detail which is weak, faulty or repetitive in
some areas.
b) Indication of how sources will be used in the essay is
generally clear, but may lack detail or relevance in places.
a) Demonstrates some ability to identify main lines of
argument in an academic text; some points may be clearer than
others.
b) Distinguishes supporting details from main points although
some supporting evidence may be less clear or relevant.
a) Some evidence of ability to find relevant and reliable sources
demonstrated; more than one search method has been used.
b) Demonstrates general knowledge and coverage of some areas
but need development.
2 – 3
Below pass
a) Predominantly poor and/or inappropriate material selected
with selection appearing to be random.
b) Texts are only generally linked to the topic; the relevance to
the title is unclear.
a) Weak / faulty evaluation of the reliability of the sources.
b) Largely unclear how sources will be used to support points
in the research essay.
a) Demonstrates limited ability to identify main lines of
argument in an academic text; main points are missing, unclear,
repetitive or lifted.
b) Attempt to provide supporting information for main points,
but largely unclear or repetitive; points are lifted from texts.

a) Lacking evidence of ability to find relevant and reliable
source; search method is unclear, inappropriate or repetitive.
b) Demonstrates little or confused understanding of content;
student has simply lifted text and / or has only covered one
aspect of the title.
0 – 1
Fail
a) Poor and/or inappropriate literature/material selected;
required number of sources not included.
b) Texts are unconnected – no obvious focus for the reading.
a) No attempt to evaluate the reliability of sources.
b) Unclear why sources have been selected, and how they will
be used in the essay.
a) Does not demonstrate the ability to identify main ideas from
an academic text – either academic texts are not used, points are
unclear, or are completely lifted.
b) No attempt to provide supporting information; information is
missing, irrelevant or inappropriate.
a) No evidence of ability to find relevant and reliable sources
demonstrated.
b) Demonstrates no discernible knowledge or understanding.
How CW 1 is marked
Academic English Skills Coursework 1: Source Report
Name:
Class:

Date:
Title:
Plan for overall structure of essay:
Plan for overall structure
Introduction
P1.
P2.
P3.
P4.
P5.
Conclusion
Part 1: Annotated List of Sources
Select TWO sources you have read and plan to use in your essay
and complete the table below outlining:
· why the text is useful for your essay
· how you found the source.
You will focus on three different sources in part 2. Include a
reference in the following format:
Books / chapters of books:
Surname, I. and Surname, I. (Year) Title of the book Place of
Publication: Publisher
Surname, I. (Year) ‘Chapter of the book’ In: I. Surname & I.
Surname (Eds) Title of the book Place of Publication:
Publisher pp.1 - 18
Journal articles (print/ online)
Surname, I. (Year) ‘The Title of the Article’ The Name of the
Journal 1 (1), pp. 1- 18

Reports / articles online
Surname, I. (Year) ‘The Title of the Article or Report’[Online]
The Name of the Organisation or website. Available at:
url [Last Accessed 23.07.19]
Lectures / talks
Surname, I. (Year) ‘The Title of the Lecture or Talk’ [Online]
TED Available at: url [Last Accessed 23.07.19]
Note that you should summarise and paraphrase key information
in the text in order to demonstrate that you have understood the
sources. You may use bullet points. You are not marked for
your language accuracy, but you will be penalised for copying
text from the source.
Type of source:
Reference

Source 1
Source 2
Type of source:
Reference

Part 2: Source Report
Complete the source report for THREE more sources you have
read. Include:
· The reference
· How you have identified the source as suitable for academic
use
· Three main points from the text which are useful for your
essay, including the supporting information for each idea or
argument.
· The section of your essay the information will be useful for –
make sure each source covers a different aspect of your essay

· Conclusions you have drawn from your reading
Source 3
Reference:
Source Evaluation
Currency
Authority
Accuracy

Source 4
Reference:
Source Evaluation
Currency

Authority
Accuracy

Source Evaluation
Currency
Authority
Accuracy

Conclusions drawn from your reading

You will be given a tutorial following submission of the
assessment. In the tutorial, you will be asked to:
· Show your tutor how you found your sources
· Talk your tutor through what you think are the useful parts of
the sources
You will also be given opportunity to:
· Ask any questions you have on the assessment
· Get feedback on the work you have done so far
This assessment is worth 40% of your reading mark. The mark
you are awarded for Evidence of Subject Knowledge may be
amended based on your tutorial discussion.

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