1. Crisis In Life’s Transitions
Prepared and Presented By
Glen Christie, MS, EdS, ThD, LPC, CASAC
Faith Bible College
Crisis Counseling II

2. The Transit ions of Lif e
Transit ions Model
Understanding Transitions:
 Anticipated: Graduation, marriage, parenthood, start a job
Unanticipated: Accident, layoff, untimely death of loved one
 Nonevent: Not married, remaining childless, don’t retire
4 S’s System for Coping with Transitions:
Situation: Situation at time of transition will affect response
Self: Your inner strength for coping with the transitions
Supports: The support available is critical to your well-being
Strategies: Strategies used to change the situation

3. The Transit ions of Lif e
Transit ions Def ined
• Endings
Triggering event, then the loss of the old life:
• Disengagement
• Disidentification
• Disenchantment
• Disorientation
• Neutral Zones
The old life has ended, and the new life has not yet begun
• New Beginnings
It is a Process - not a “To Do List”. “Signs” are generally not
available
• Listening to the “inner voice” for patterns and new opportunities
• Launching a new set of priorities, ideas, and goals

4. The Transit ions of Lif e
Transit ion I s Change and Change I s
I nevit able
It is often said that the only things in life that are
inevitable are death and taxes. Well, you can add
a third item to the things that are inevitable, and
that is change that blazes our trail through life.
We are caught up in a perpetual motion of change,
swirling all around us, that we will never be able to
avoid. In other words, this rate of change is here to
stay.

5. Many Types of Transit ions
Personal
Child to adult
Dependent to independent
Caregiver to “empty nest”
Able-bodied to disabled
Incarcerated to parolee/free
Addicted to Sober
Spirituality (change beliefs or
religion)
Home: (apartment to
homeowner, etc.)
Personal technology (phones,
TV, computers, etc.)
 Family & Other
Relationships
Single to married (or
otherwise committed)
Married to single
Childless to parent
Independent to
caregiver (or the
reverse)
Death (or separation
from) a loved one

6. Many Types of Transit ions
Societal
A Changing World
Native to immigrant
Groups – majority to minority,
etc.
Spiritual – place of worship
Move to a new community
Education
High school to college
Community college to
university
College student to graduate
Student to employee
Employee to student
 Career
 New assignments,
bosses, etc.
 Employee to manager
 Employed to
unemployed
 Unemployed to
employed
 Employee to retired
Military
 Civilian to soldier
 Soldier to veteran

7. More Than One Transit ion?
 Yes. You can experience several simultaneous or
serial transitions at any time.
 Some transitions may trigger others -
Example:
Loss of job can also trigger:
New student, family status changes, and
Veteran (if job was military), etc.
Synchronicity dictates that reason (God’s intervention)
governs cause and effect.
Is it possible to experience more than
one transition at a time?

8. Emotionally
 Mental
 Emotional
 Grief:
 Resistance
 Reminiscing
 Regret
 Spiritual
 Political
 Perception of Reality
 Values
 Sense of Identity
 Personality
In Other Ways
Physical
Level of “Productivity”
Relationships
Authority
Roles
The “Rules”
Expectations
Priorities
Financial
Legal
How Transit ions Af f ect You

9. The Transit ions of Lif e
 To deal effectively with change you cannot let it
frustrate or upset you.
 You cannot attempt to minimize or avoid change.
Instead, you have to learn how to deal with
change, and use it to your advantage.
 It begins with acceptance. Change is an essential
element of life itself, yet we almost instinctively
resist it. Most people believe that if they ignore
change, it won’t happen.
 That if they ignore change, somehow time will turn
back to the way things were years ago. But that is
not going to happen.
Accept ance

10. The Transit ions of Lif e
 Unlike the “old days” change is occurring so rapidly
that we no longer have the luxury of adapting to
it gradually.
 Instead of resisting change, we are forced to
develop a habit of welcoming and working with it
or get left behind.
 The future belongs to those who anticipate change
and have a plan to respond to it.
 We’ll never be able to completely control change,
but we can manage our participation in it and our
reaction to it.
Things are Moving Quickly

11. The Transit ions of Lif e
 The most valuable quality your can ever develop
to deal with change is flexibility.
 You must form the habit of remaining open-
minded and adaptable to new information and
circumstances.
 When things go wrong and problems come up, as
they often do, instead of becoming upset and
frustrated, look for the benefit (the positive aspect)
that is always contained in the change.
Flexibility

12. The Transit ions of Lif e
 Another critical issue in dealing with change is
having control.
 Most of your stress and unhappiness in life comes as
a result of feeling out of control in a particular
area in your life.
 If you think about the times or places where you
feel the very best about yourself, you will notice a
high degree of control in those places.
 One of the reasons why you like to come home
after a trip is because, after you walk through
your front door, you feel completely in control of
your environment.
Control

13. The Transit ions of Lif e
 The only thing you have complete control over is
content of your conscious mind. So, for you to
effectively deal with change, you must have full
control over thoughts.
 Since change is inevitable and continuous, it is how
you think about what is happening to you that
will be the most important factor in determining
how change will affect you.
 How you think about what is happening to you
will determine whether you will use change to
your advantage or let it work to your
disadvantage.
All in Your Mind

14. The Transit ions of Lif e
 Resistance to change is almost always rooted in
fear.
 During periods of transition, some people may feel
the need to cling to the past because it was a more
secure, predictable time.
 If what they did in the past worked well for them,
they may resist changing their behavior out of fear
that they will not achieve as much or be happy in
the future.
So, Why do we resist …Fear!

15. The Transit ions of Lif e
 Doing things in the same routine, predictable
manner is comfortable.
 Asking people to change the way they operate or
think is asking them to move outside their comfort
zone. "We've always done it this way, so why do
we need to change?" becomes the rallying cry for
people who have difficulty transitioning in life.
 In some cases, people may ignore or deny the
transition simply because it requires them to
experience something beyond their normal
method of operation.
Creatures of habit

16. The Transit ions of Lif e
 Some people seem to have the attitude, "Please
don't confuse me with any facts or supporting
documentation about this change--I've already
made up my mind!“
 People with this attitude approach the transition
process with their minds firmly made up, insisting,
"No way!" during any discussion, explanations, or
exploration of possible benefits.
Closed mind

17. The Transit ions of Lif e
 Most people view change from an ego-centric
standpoint, they will respond by fearing how the
transition will affect them directly.
 Will it make their life easier? Will they have to
endure struggle or pain (nothing positive)? Will the
change put their health or security in jeopardy?
 Will the transition force them to be around different
people or unwillingly adapt to a new lifestyle?
Fear of transitional impact

18. The Transit ions of Lif e
 We all experience transitional change in our lives. It
can be a tragedy, like the folks in Louisiana coping
with the effects of a major disaster, or it can be
something good, like me getting married.
 Sometimes we accept change and sometimes it’s
forced upon us whether we like it or not.
 Life’s transitions come in all shapes & sizes, intensities,
and can be a very disruptive force in our lives.
How t o Deal Wit h Transit ion

19. The Transit ions of Lif e
 Even small changes, like a disagreement with a
close friend, can throw us out of balance.
 Sometimes it’s as simple as a routine, or good
habit, being broken. If enough time has passed
and enough disruption has occurred, it can be
hard to get back on track.
 Part of a maintaining a good, stable, and well
balanced life is learning to appreciate both
aspects of nature’s duality.
 The problem lies in that sometimes appreciating
and acting appropriately on that duality creates
confusion and disruption and you can lose
momentum in various aspects of your life.

20. The Transit ions of Lif e
 It requires effort to keep up with change.
 It calls for motivation, determination and
persistence. It takes courage to step out of self-
imposed limitations and to face your true self.
 It also requires an open mind, patience and flexibility
to recognize the many opportunities that God is
continuously offering you. The focus is, therefore, on
none other than the ‘Self.’
I t is Hard Work

21. The Transit ions of Lif e
 No transition is possible unless you can face and
accept your inner true self with all your weaknesses
and your strengths.
 Transition on the outside is the result of transition on
the inside. Whatever phase of change is confronting
you, there are only two choices.
 You either choose to be passive, stubbornly ignoring
and change, or you can actively take matters into
your own hands and take control of your life.
I t is Hard Work

22. The Transit ions of Lif e
I walk, down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in
I am lost.... I am helpless
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again
I can't believe I am in the same place
but, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
How We Seem To Learn
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.'
I still fall in.... it's a habit, my eyes are
open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
I walk down another street!

23. The Transit ions of Lif e
 Anamnesis: The skill of keeping n touch with what is
deep and constant in the midst of change.
 Listening: The skill of truly hearing others
 Joining: The skill of temporarily experiencing and
understanding the worldview of another.
 Penetrating: The skill of seeing that the presenting
symptom is often not the real problem.
 Turning to the outside: The skill of staying out of the
way of the change until you can get at it from a
better angle.
 Big vision: The skill of seeing the forest.
Skills of Transitioning

24. The Transit ions of Lif e
• Hang time: The willingness to stay in the moment of
ambiguity.
• Wholeness: The ability for an individual, a family, or
a community to move as one.
• Knowledge: The understanding of how change
works.
• Aligning the center: The skill of lining up who you are
with how you serve others every day - the decisions
you make, how you spend your time, what you offer
to people.
• Internal Drive: The skill of finding happiness in the
doing, not just in the result.
Skills of Transitioning

25. The Transit ions of Lif e
• Rhythm: The skill of knowing when to move.
• Zanshin: the skill of sustaining relationships.
• Shifting Focus: The skill of rapidly and cleanly shifting
focus, being fully present with what is in front of you, and
able to fully set aside what is not the present task.
• Acting in uncertainty: The skill of being able to move
with insufficient data.
• Capacity For Paradox: The skill of entertaining two
opposing ideas at the same time, not to discredit one
over the other, but to glean the best from both
• Market sense: The skill of finding the opportunity in the
crisis.
Skills of Transitioning

26. The Transit ions of Lif e
 Go out of your way to recognize the efforts and positive
contributions of others and to express your
appreciation.
 I competative games and fun games, play to lose some
of the time. A side benefit will be that you lessen your
concentration on winning and improve your skills.
 At first, avoid others who are quick to anger or other
Type A’s, since it will take you some time to learn not to
react to them.
 Make a list of the reasons and benefits of eliminating
this hostility from your life.
Coping With Transitioning

27. The Transit ions of Lif e
 Try to identify your trigger point of anger. What
irritates you the most? What would happen if you did
not become angry?
 Keep a behavioral diary. Whenever anger occurs,
record the following:
 The circumstances surrounding the anger such as who
was there, where it occurred, what triggered it, etc.
 The specific ways you acted and the statements you
made.
Coping With Transitioning

28. Conclusions
 In the foregoing I have tried to tell you that there
is a trajectory of life
 It is not the same for our body soul and spirit
 Our body develops decays and dies
 Our mind develops and only decays if our brain is
diseased. Even then it does not cease to exist
 Our soul is immortal and it will exist in eternity
either in heaven or hell

29. Conclusions
 If we are in Christ and he in us we go to heaven
 If we are not in Christ we will be separated from
God for eternity
 Our charge is to help as many people manage
their transitions as possible and introduce them
to the Lord of life