Exploration of the effects silence can have in our lives. Insights into active listening arising out of silence in user research sessions. Talk given at UCD Bristol, 21.2.18

1. THE ART OF LISTENING
CREATING SPACE THROUGH SILENCE

2. WHO AM I?
AJARA
▸ 20+ years of analog and digital design work. Web and UX
designer, App designer, Scrum Master, Project Leader.
▸ 15+ years of teaching tech to people from 8-80. HTML,
CSS, Web design, Adobe CS, Social Media, MacOSX.
▸ 30+ years of meditation. Trained therapist: counselling,
breath, primal, hara awareness . Meditation leader.

3. SILENCE
OUTER & INNER

4. SILENCE
EXPERIENCE OUTSIDE
▸ Being in close proximity to strangers
e.g. public transport, lift, waiting room.
▸ Sharing space as a necessity, not by
choice.
▸ Physical closeness to strangers is
perceived as threat. The mind creates
invisible boundaries for protection.
▸ Being in a group of people you don’t
really know. Exit route: small talk.
▸ Question: Where are you silent with
others and feel comfortable?

5. “THERE IS THE DUMB SILENCE
OF SLUMBER OR APATHY…
THE FERTILE SILENCE OF
AWARENESS, PASTURING THE
SOUL… THE SILENCE OF
PEACEFUL ACCORD WITH
OTHER PERSONS OR
COMMUNION WITH THE
COSMOS.”
Paul Goodman

6. SILENCE
EXPERIENCE INSIDE
▸ A calm and relaxed space where you
are aware and present.
▸ Connection to your inner resource.
▸ 'Going in’ needs practice.
▸ Create experiences of inner silence
through exercise.
▸ Integrate practice into your daily life.
▸ Silence is a key to presence!
▸ Question: When was the last time you
were silent without doing anything?

7. “SITTING QUIETLY, DOING NOTHING,
SPRING COMES, AND THE GRASS
GROWS, BY ITSELF.”
Bashō Matsuo
SILENCE

8. THE ART OF
LISTENING
CREATING SPACE

9. “MOST PEOPLE DO NOT LISTEN WITH
THE INTENT TO UNDERSTAND; THEY
LISTEN WITH THE INTENT TO REPLY.”
Stephen R. Covey
THE ART OF LISTENING

10. THE ART OF LISTENING
THE LOST ART OF LISTENING
▸ Mostly we don’t listen to understand. We listen to react. To share
our thoughts, opinions - we are just waiting for our turn to talk.
▸ We think up to 4 times faster than we can speak. We are able to
listen to 450 words a minute but the average person only speaks
up to 175 words a minute. Mind the gap!
▸ We all want to be heard but hardly anyone wants to listen.
Listening takes work.
▸ The ability to listen is one of our most powerful tools!
▸ Question: When was the last time you really listened to someone?

11. LISTEN.
SILENT.
THE PERFECT
ANAGRAM.

12. THE ART OF LISTENING
ACTIVE LISTENING
▸ 1987 Carl Rogers and Richard Farson developed the term “active
listening”.
▸ Active listening is defined as “the act of mindfully hearing and
attempting to comprehend the meaning of words spoken by
another person in a conversation or speech.”
▸ Listening in its purest form.
▸ The point of active listening is to just… listen!
▸ To become an active listener you have to practice.

13. THE ART OF LISTENING
ACTIVE LISTENING
▸ A simple listening exercise:
▸ Sit comfortably
▸ Close your eyes
▸ Listen to the sounds that are furthest away from you
▸ Listen to the sounds that are closest to you
▸ Now listen to the sounds that are somewhere in between
▸ Practice for 10 minutes or more every day.

14. USER RESEARCH
ACTIVE LISTENING IN

15. USER RESEARCH
SETTING
▸ Consider spacial boundaries when arranging furniture and
devices.
▸ Have somebody else taking notes or use a recording device.
▸ Actively prepare yourself. (Grimacing, Gibberish, Shaking)
▸ Focus on listening only with the true intent of understanding
what the person is saying. No analysing, evaluating and drawing
new assumptions.
▸ Replace concentration with awareness.

16. “WORDS ARE EVENTS, THEY
DO THINGS, CHANGE
THINGS. THEY TRANSFORM
BOTH SPEAKER AND
HEARER; THEY FEED ENERGY
BACK AND FORTH AND
AMPLIFY IT.”
Ursula K. Le Guin

17. USER RESEARCH
DO
▸ Forget about all your assumptions and ideas.
▸ Validate the contribution of the participant at the beginning.
▸ Listen from your 'inner silence' space.
▸ Make the participants feel heard. Keep eye contact throughout.
▸ Be a present observer.
▸ Be aware of your body language: sit straight, open chest, both
feet on the ground.

18. USER RESEARCH
DON’T
▸ Don’t try too hard to make everybody comfortable.
▸ Don’t use filler phrases for encouragement. Avoid pleasing mode.
▸ Don’t comment non-verbally with gestures or grimaces (eyebrows,
hands, mouth). A slight nod is enough.
▸ Don’t fidget or display any unconscious behaviour patterns.
▸ Don’t make the participant your accomplice. Everybody wants to be
liked.
▸ Don’t be afraid of silence. Let silence be part of the journey in a
natural way. Don’t talk over it.

19. Now we will count to twelve
and we will all keep still.
For once on the face of the earth,
let’s not speak in any language;
let’s stop for one second,
and not move our arms so much.
It would be an exotic moment
without rush, without engines;
we would all be together
in a sudden strangeness.
Fisherman in the cold sea
would not harm whales
and the man gathering salt
would look at his hurt hands.
Those who prepare green wars,
wars with gas, wars with fire,
victories with no survivors,
would put on clean clothes
and walk about with their brothers
in the shade, doing nothing.
What I want should not be confused
with total inactivity.
Life is what it is about;
I want no truck with death.
If we were not so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving,
and for once could do nothing,
perhaps a huge silence
might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves
and of threatening ourselves with death.
Perhaps the earth can teach us
as when everything seems dead
and later proves to be alive.
Now I’ll count up to twelve
and you keep quiet and I will go.
KEEPING QUIET
Pablo Neruda

20. THE END
THANK YOU FOR LISTENING
ajara i. pfannenschmidt
web craftswoman
@ip_nagare
ip@nagare.eu

21. INSPIRATION
SOURCES
▸ Ursula K. Le Guin: “Telling Is Listening” found in The Wave in the Mind:
Talks and Essays on the Writer, the Reader, and the Imagination.
▸ Paul Goodman: Nine types of Silence found in Speaking and
Language – Defence of Poetry.
▸ Carl Rogers & Roger Farson: Active Listening.
▸ Dr. Stephen R. Covey: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
▸ Pablo Neruda: Keeping Quiet found in Extravagaria.
▸ Bashō Matsuo: On Love and Barley: Haiku of Basho.