The document is a self-reflective paper recounting the author's three significant developmental milestones, including difficult experiences with bullying during early adolescence, a pivotal decision to transfer schools for a better environment, and a severe health crisis in college due to stress. These milestones shaped the author's identity, confidence, and motivation to pursue a career in education, emphasizing the importance of support from family and educators. The author reflects on how these experiences influenced their passion for helping students who face similar challenges.

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Developmental Milestones/Stories of Development Self-Reflection Paper
Morgan Sanders
COUN 637 Advanced Human Development
Spring 2020
Dr. Laura Gaudet

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Description of your three developmental milestones.
I grew up in Carpenter, WY which is a small town of about ninety-four people. I am the
oldest child in my family and my parents always taught me the importance of working hard and
being a good example to my younger siblings. Even though I lived in Wyoming, my parents sent
me to school in Grover, Colorado because they wanted to me have the best education possible.
The school in Grover was rural and the community was full of farmers and ranchers. Going to
school in Grover was special because I only had eight classmates and my teacher could give me
a lot of one-on-one time if I did not understand a concept discussed in class. I also felt close to
my classmates and believed we were family as I was going through early elementary school. My
first developmental milestone happened when I entered fifth grade, because my body image and
self-confidence all changed. I had started my menstrual cycle right before entering fifth grade
while the girls in my had not yet started theirs. I was the tallest kid in my class, had acne all over
my face, and gained some weight over the summer after beginning my menstrual cycle. Many of
my peers started bullying me, leaving me out at lunch and recess, and would make me feel like I
did not belong in their groups and sports teams. I felt very awkward and was lonely through the
latter part of elementary school. I was also insecure about my body and would compare my
features to those of my peers. These feelings stuck with me as I went through junior high and
high school.
After being left-out and bullied during junior high and early high school, I sat down with
my parents and told them that I wanted to leave Grover. I explained to them that I felt so alone
and hated school. We discussed the options of other schools that I could go to and decided we
would go tour Cheyenne East High School. My parents were very nervous about sending me to
this school for several reasons: I would have to commute thirty minutes, the school was fifteen

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times bigger than my previous school in Grover, and the different influences that I would be
around. The day after my last day as a sophomore at Grover, my mother and I went and toured
East High. My parents and I fell in love with this school and we knew it would help me learn and
grow. After much consideration, my parents and I decided that transferring to East High for my
junior and senior year would be the best for me. Through this experience, I made friends with my
peers, had amazing teachers, and was involved in many activities. This time helped me
eventually thrive during my last two years of high school.
After graduating from Cheyenne East High School, I attended the University of
Wyoming in Laramie, where I studied Secondary Education/Mathematics and was also in the
Honors Program. While I was in college, I took my studies very seriously and worked hard to be
successful. I was a first-generation college student and I also had to pay my way through school.
I was working at the university and I was also selling plasma to help pay my bills. This was fine
my freshman year; however, I had too much on my plate during the first semester of my
sophomore year. I was taking eighteen credit hours, working about twenty hours a week, and
selling plasma. My third developmental milestone happened because I was not getting enough
sleep since I was staying up late to study, my body got worn down, and I eventually got
extremely sick around the time of Halloween. I never fully recovered during the rest of the fall.
Then, I woke up on Christmas morning and I was very cold and could not breathe well. My mom
took my temperature and I had a 104-degree fever. She then rushed me to the emergency room in
Cheyenne, where we found out that I had pneumonia and strep throat. This caused my body to go
septic and my heart, lungs, and kidneys all began to shut down; the doctors gave me a 30%
chance to live. I spent five days in a coma, then I was finally able to wake up. I had to spend

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another week in the hospital until I was finally released to go home with my family. I spent about
a month recovering from this sickness.
Why are your three development milestones important
When I was growing up, I had a powerful sense of self-worth because my parents spent a
lot of time teaching me and making me feel incredibly special and important. As an early
adolescent, my family gave me a high self-esteem and always encouraged me to be myself. My
parents’ style of raising me allowed me to have a prosocial behavior and this helped me make
friends easier when I began going to school. However, once I entered fifth grade, my self-esteem
was impacted my what my peers thought about me. Sebastian et al. (2008) suggests, “By early
adolescence, children are more likely to compare themselves with others and to understand that
others are making comparisons and judgments about them; they also begin to place high value on
those judgements” (441). I really struggled with feeling insecure about my weight and height
since I was so much bigger than my peers. For many years, my peers made me feel like I was
ugly and did not belong with them. Since I went to a small, rural school, I did not have many
options for friends. I hated going to school every day and could not wait to be done. This caused
me to have an incredibly low self-esteem until my parents and I finally decided to do something
about it.
The decision to transfer to Cheyenne East High School had a significant impact on my
self-concept and identity. For the first time since elementary school, I truly felt like other people
(besides my family) really cared about me. I made many new friends and had amazing teachers
who impacted my life in a distinct way. My math teacher was exceedingly kind and had an
exceptional impact on my life. She showed me a large amount of support academically and
personally. According to Hassan et al., “It can be concluded that the teachers’ politeness has a

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profound impact on the students’ achievement” (229). She eventually became one of my role
models and is the reason I am a math teacher today. She inspired my heart as a young person,
and I want to impact students’ lives in the same way that she impacted mine.
My math teacher not only taught me math, but she also helped me navigate the college-
search process. I told her my situation of being a first-generation college student and she helped
me apply for scholarships to help pay for college. Once I left for college, I put so much pressure
on myself to be successful because I did not want to let my family, past teachers, or friends
down. As stated by Pascarella et al., “Not only do first-generation students confront all the
anxieties, dislocations, and difficulties of any college student, their experiences often involve
substantial cultural as well as social and academic transitions” (250). I got sick because I was so
worried about letting my loved ones down. However, it is natural for a first-generation student to
go through all these difficult transitions. I should not have been so hard on myself as I went
through these recent changes.
My developmental milestones taught me the importance of valuing your life and knowing
that you have an impact on the people that are around you. For many years, I struggled with
depression due to a low self-esteem and this caused me to be anxious about building
relationships with my friends around me. However, transferring to a different school changed the
way that I viewed myself. It also provided me with the opportunity to have an amazing teacher
who touched my life in a unique way. Without the hardship that I experienced when I was
young, I would not have been able to have my math teacher. I now know that going through the
experience of being bullied has given me the opportunity to have a heart for students who are
going through similar experiences. As an educator, I have been able to help my students if they
struggle with building relationships with their peers because I can share my past experiences

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with them. I have been able to use a negative experience in my life as a positive way to influence
my students and I will always be grateful for that.
Describe your three milestones from different developmental ages
As an early adolescent, I started to sexually mature faster than the other girls in my class.
This caused there to be tension between my peers and I, which made friendships for me difficult.
Broderick and Blewitt (2006) state the following:
Party because most girls being puberty before most boys, an especially early maturing
girl is bigger than most of the other children her age. She is also heavier and so is more
likely than other girls to be unhappy with her body in a culture that prizes slimness in
females. Early sexual maturation (e.g., breast development) may make her a target for
teasing or innuendo from peers. (p. 334)
I was taller than all the other kids my age. I also weighed a significant amount more than the
girls in my class. These two characteristics made it difficult for me to fit in. Early maturation
caused me to experience more stress than my peers because I was ahead of my peers.
As a teenager, after dealing with the stress of bullying and isolation, I had to make the
decision of whether to leave Grover or not. This decision would have been much more difficult
without the help of my supportive parents. According to Broderick and Blewitt, “When parents
have established a warm family climate and are perceived by their children to monitor them
closely, adolescents are more likely to endorse parental legitimacy” (378). My parents always
showed me love and support through the good and tough times of my life. I have always trusted
my parents because their love is loyal, and I know that they always want the best for me. When I
was going through such a challenging time in school, they knew that we had to find some other

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options so that I could be happy. My parents sacrificed a lot to send me to East High. My
younger siblings still went to school in Grover, so it was a huge expense on their part; it is
something that I will always be grateful for.
As an emerging adult, I worked hard to be successful while trying to balance the
responsibilities that I had on my plate. Many young adults feel like they need to prove
themselves to others to show that they are transitioning to adulthood well. Emerging adulthood is
the time that many young adults find their path. Consistent with Broderick and Blewitt, “A broad
psychological shift toward increasing independence and autonomy characterizes the subjective
experiences of what it means to be an adult” (410). This season of life can be stressful for many;
however, it can also be an exciting time of self-discovery. Personally, I knew that I wanted to
become a math teacher, so I had to go to college to make that happen. Unfortunately, I did not
take care of myself like I should have, and this caused me to get extremely sick. In my time as an
emerging adult, I learned the value of practicing self-care.
Identify, discuss and relate three developmental theories to your developmental milestones
During my time in adolescence, I struggled to build friendships with my peers, and this
had an impact on how I found my identity. In Erickson’s Psychosocial Theory of Development,
it says that teenagers work at processing a sense of self by assessing various roles. Then, they
will integrate these roles to form a single identity. I tried to put on many roles as an adolescent
and struggled to feel accepted in all my attempted roles. This caused there to be confusion about
who I really was and brought on many insecurities about my personal characteristics.
As I transitioned to a teenager, I was afraid to build intimate friendships with others. I
worried about experiencing hurt and denial. Thankfully, I was lucky enough to have good friends

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and teachers at a new school who taught me how to trust again. As a teen, I was in Erickson’s
stage of “Intimacy vs. Isolation,” because I struggled to form close relationships with the people
around me. I was able to overcome my fears of isolation and built personal friendships with my
peers. I also had impactful teachers who taught me the importance of collaborating and
communicating with my classmates.
As I transitioned into the phase of emerging adulthood, I had many factors on my plate
that I had to learn to balance. This was a very testing time in my life, and I did not do as many
things as well as I had hoped or anticipated. According to Piaget’s Cognitive Theory of
Development, I should have been able to logically reason through the situations I was facing. I
also should have had the ability to use deductive reasoning to know that my schedule was too
full and that I needed to cut some things out of my calendar in order to not get as sick as I did.
Piaget’s fourth stage does say that the individual will be concerned with the future. In my case, I
was overly concerned about my future success and graduating college.
Relevance of your three developmental milestones & relationship to minority populations
During my last two years of high school, I found out from my counselors at school that I
was a first-generation college student. I did not even know what that meant, but thankfully the
counselors took the time to walk me through what this meant. They told me that I would qualify
for scholarships and other resources that would help me go to college. The preparation that my
counselors gave me in high school helped my transition to college go smoother. However, I still
faced some hardships during this time. Being a first-generation college student made me feel like
I was a minority to my peers at school. Many of their parents went to college, so they did not
understand what it meant for me to qualify for these resources at the University of Wyoming.
According to Stebleton et al., “First-generation students may feel less like they belong on

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campus as compared to their non-first-generation peers” (8). Many first-generation students do
not receive the amount of preparation that I did. They come from more diverse backgrounds that
make it more difficult to receive a lot of support. Therefore, it is crucial that school counselors
and teachers take the time to know the goals of their students and work hard to help them achieve
those goals. Many students are afraid or insecure to ask for help, but if they trust a teacher,
counselor, or other adult in their life, then they can reach out to this person for help. It is
important to make sure students know about the wide range of resources that are available to
help them achieve post-secondary success.
How are your three developmental milestones addressed by mental health counselors,
school counselors, and/or educators
As an adolescent, my peers made me feel isolated from them and this caused me to have
anxiety about making friends. The isolation from others also caused me to feel depressed and
alone. According to Slovak, “It is imperative to note that depression is related to a considerable
increase in suicidal risk; thus, suicidal behavior is a matter of serious concern for clinicians who
work with adolescent mental health issues” (73). Many children do not know how to deal with
the feelings of depression, and this can lead them to feeling like suicide is their only option for
feeling better. It would be important for a school counselor to know the students well-enough so
that they could notice changes in behavior to help students. Therefore, it is crucial that a school
counselor gets involved to give the adolescent resources on how to work through depression and
suicidal thoughts.
Thankfully, I had the support of my parents through this challenging time. Their support
gave me the option of getting out of a toxic environment and go to a new school. As I
transitioned to a new school, it was beneficial to know that I could go to my school counselor as

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a resource if I needed them. However, during my junior and senior year, I found the college and
career counselor to be the most helpful as I was considering my transition to college. I met with
this counselor and told her that I would be the first person in my family to go to college, so I
needed some help to apply for college and find scholarships. Consistent with Pérusse, “Exposing
school‐aged students to college and career information opens doors to higher levels of
occupation and socioeconomic status” (1226). The college and career counselor at East High
gave me a plethora of information to help me be as successful as possible as I transitioned to the
University of Wyoming.
Once I was at college, I felt overwhelmed and did not know the many resources that were
available to me for academic and personal success. Being a first-generation college student, I had
to figure out many resources of the university on my own. According to Degges-White et al.,
“Students may present for counseling due to high levels of stress that can be remedied by lessons
in time management” (29). During my freshman year, I wish I would have known about the on-
campus counseling center. It would have been beneficial for me to talk to a counselor during my
freshman and sophomore year of college because I was going through such a major transition in
my life.
Conclusion
Throughout my life, I have experienced many good times with family and friends;
however, I have also gone through some difficult hardships that have helped shape the person I
am today. After being bullied as an adolescent, I learned the importance of treating those around
you with respect and kindness. This event also allowed me to transfer to a school where I found
many positive opportunities for my life. I discovered my love for helping others at East High and
received help to attend college. While I was at the University of Wyoming, I struggled to balance

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all the things I put on my plate and this caused me to almost die. Through this experience, I
learned the value of reaching out for help from others. It is okay to not be okay; it is just not okay
to stay there. A person needs to know who they can trust and reach out to. Therefore, I am a
teacher today. I have a desire to not only teach, but also to help my students through whatever
hills and valleys they go through.

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Reference Page
Broderick, Patricia C., and Pamela Blewitt. (2006). The Life Span: Human Development for
Helping Professionals. Fourth ed., Pearson Education, Inc.
Degges-White, S., Borzumato-Gainey, C., & Ebrary, I. (2014;2013;). College student mental
health counseling: A developmental approach. New York, NY: Springer Publishing
Company, LLC.
Hassan, M. U., Farooq, M. S., Akhtar, M. P., & Parveen, I. (2017). Teachers' politeness as a
predictor of students' self-esteem and academic performance. Bulletin of Education and
Research, 39(1), 229.
Pascarella, E. T., Pierson, C. T., Wolniak, G. C., & Terenzini, P. T. (2004). First-generation
college students: Additional evidence on college experiences and outcomes. The Journal
of Higher Education, 75(3), 249-284. doi:10.1080/00221546.2004.11772256
Pérusse, R., DeRonck, N., & Parzych, J. (2017). School counseling: Partnering with a school
district to provide postsecondary opportunities for first generation, low income, and
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adolescence. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 12(11), 441-446.
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doi:10.1080/15332985.2011.625299
Stebleton, M. J., Soria, K. M., & Huesman, R. L. (2014). First‐Generation students' sense of
belonging, mental health, and use of counseling services at public research universities.
Journal of College Counseling, 17(1), 6-20. doi:10.1002/j.2161-1882.2014.00044.x