Conflict anger and bullying futures 2013
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Strategies for resolving conflict, anger, and bullying behaviours in the workplace
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Conflict anger and bullying futures 2013
- 1. Opportunities 2010 Conference By Julie Christiansen Leverage U www.angersolution.com
- 2. Take this little self-test and find out!
- 3. If negativity is a weed, what makes it grow? “There are no bad people; only bad systems.” ~ Stephen Covey
- 4. The beliefthat if you get what you want, I can’t get what I want Belief is the basis of action, which determines your outcomes!
- 7. Internal Perceptions External Perceptions Let’s examine this further…
- 13. The bullying of academics follows a pattern of horrendous, Orwellian elimination rituals, often hidden from the public. Despite the anti-bullying policies (often token), bullying is rife across campuses, and the victims often pay a heavy price. (Bullied Academics Blog, 2009)
- 17. Workplace Harrassment: “engaging in a course of vexatious comment or conduct… that is known to be unwelcome” Workplace Violence: “to use or attempt to use physical force that could cause physical injury” AND/OR …“a statement or behaviour that is reasonable to interpret as a threat to use physical force that could cause physical injury…” (Bill C-168, 1.1 a,b,c)
- 18. Prepare a policy with respect to workplace violence AND workplace harassment Review the policies at least annually, but as often as necessary Policies MUST be in written form and be posted at a conspicuous place in the workplace (Bill C-168, 32.0.1 a,b,c and 32.0.2)
- 19. Know your rights and responsibilities Keep clear and accurate records Report to the appropriate authority Follow the chain of command Other alternatives
- 20. E+R=O Event + Response = Outcome “It is not your conditions but your decisions that determine your outcomes.” ~ Tony Robbins
- 21. T: Think – what is happening? What does this mean to me? How should I respond? S: Say – I feel/need/think/want… because… A: Ask – for feedback. “How do you feel about what I’ve just said?”
- 22. Ask: What is your opinion? How do you see things progressing? Do you have any concerns? Say: This is what I have observed and these behaviours communicate… Continue: Giving ongoing feedback ~ don’t wait 1 year until next evaluation!
- 23. Understand that helping others meet their needs can help you meet your needs Allow the other party to state his/her problem Work to build mutual respect
- 24. Avoid using “you” statements Believe in innocence Be centered Listen 1st : Talk 2nd
- 25. Establish the “facts” of the case Explore options together Eliminate the ones that just don’t fit Be open to other ideas Work towards that which is mutually acceptable
- 26. Request changes in behaviour only Identify what you SEE Explain what that means to you Ask for clarification State your expectations and what consequences may follow
- 27. Debrief UseYour Senses: relaxation through aromatherapy – candles, scented oils, room freshener, baking Take a 5 minute retreat TagTeam: 1-minute vent Deep Breathing Props
Editor's Notes
- This is really just talking about myths and realities of anger – anger is not always what you SEE – people internalize anger – others externalize it. Get the room to experiment with this. Establish that anger is not BEHAVIOUR – it is EMOTION. Some people use aggressive behaviours to manipulate or get their own way – it is not necessarily anger. Likewise, just because people are smiling or even-tempered doesn’t mean they never feel or express anger.
- Two extreme cases: Pierre Lebrun – OC Transpo in 1994 Pierre attempted to CONTROL his anger and frustration by bottling it up inside. When he finally decided that was not working, his next response was to swing all the other way across the pendulum and choose violence as a way to EXPRESS his anger. Neither of these options resulted in resolution. LeBrun lost his employment first, and subsequently lost his life along with four other co-workers. British Prime Minister Gordon Brown is really good at EXPRESSING his anger. Employees of his have reported yelling, pushing, shoving, and angry tirades. This scandal could very well cost him his job. Clearly simply EXPRESSING ANGER is not working for him either.
- Just talk about this as it relates to blaming, shaming, and complaining AND the idea of taking responsibility for one’s emotions. Use examples. This should be easy.