Collaborative Communication - Agile Australia 2016
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Using Collaborative Communication for teamwork and transparency. Presented by Shari Elle and Nicholas Ho. http://www.communicationgroup.com.au/
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Collaborative Communication - Agile Australia 2016
- 1. Using Collaborative Communication for Teamwork and Transparency Shari Elle Communication Group @shari_elle Nicholas Ho ING Direct Australia @shuharinick
- 2. “The Hook”
- 3. Collaborative Communication is Most Useful When • Situation is Tense • Conflict or Opinions diverse • Need for calmness • Understanding of underlying drivers • You’re providing feedback
- 4. What makes your work worthwhile? Photo by boellstiftung / CC BY
- 5. “That team is clueless. They don’t know what they’re doing.”
- 6. “I didn’t learn anything. That training was hopeless”
- 8. • Gain inner clarity ~ non judgemental • Framework for communicating
- 9. A story…
- 10. O – Observation F – Feeling N – Need / Value R – Request The Four Part CC Process
- 11. Observation When I remember ringing [my son] and he said he was at Jono’s, and when I asked him again, he said he was at another friend’s house. 4 pieces of CC – My Internal Process
- 12. O – Observation F – Feeling N – Need / Value R – Request The Four Part CC Process
- 13. Feeling I’m feeling rattled & disturbed 4 pieces of CC – My Internal Process
- 14. O – Observation F – Feeling N – Need / Value R – Request The Four Part CC Process
- 15. Need - Im wanting trust… that when he says something I can just believe it. - I also have a dream that he grows to be a man who speaks the truth, even if its hard for others to hear… that would give me peace of mind. 4 pieces of CC – My Internal Process
- 16. O – Observation F – Feeling N – Need / Value R – Request The Four Part CC Process
- 17. Request To speak with him about it tomorrow and hear him and share what is important to me. 4 pieces of CC – My Internal Process
- 18. Observation- When I remember ringing [my son] and him saying he was at Jono’s, when I asked him again, him saying he was at another friend’s house. Feeling - I’m feeling rattled, disturbed Need - Im wanting trust… that when he says something I can just believe it. Request – To speak with him about it tomorrow. 4 pieces of CC – My Internal Process
- 19. Scenario 1
- 20. O – “When you see the report not reflecting your actual performance” F – “I’m sensing you’re feeling upset, and frustrated“ N - “because you want the report to accurately reflect your improved performance ” R – “Can I change the report so it better reflects your new way of working?”
- 22. O – “I noticed that you’ve been working quite hard in our team” F – “I am feeling concerned and worried“ N - “Because the team needs to know what we’re all working on and the work needs to be visible” R – “Can I offer to help make your work visible to the team?”
- 23. Experience at Merck Pharmaceuticals After 6 month program with top level Managers: • A reduction of meetings by 50-80%. • Meeting times cut in half • Helped with cross-cultural differences • All participants were able to resolve issues that would previously have been unresolvable. https://workcollaboratively.com/resources/report-cc-2012/
- 24. Next Steps • Read the book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall Rosenberg • YouTube Playlist • Attend a workshop at www.communicationgroup.com.au • Schedule a conversation to explore CC and how you may want to apply these skills for you or in your team.
- 25. Closing Shari Elle @shari_elle Nicholas Ho @shuharinick
- 26. Questions
Editor's Notes
- Question WRITE BIO FOR NIC AND SHARI… Nic – to do between now and melb: 1. Practice the conclusion 2. Update and send slides to shepherd and Adina 3. Talk to shepherd on phone mid week 4. Upload video to YouTube and send to shepherd Shari – Practice new pieces Ask Adina about vid and photography Also – Ask facilitator to ask people about having pen and paper ready Microphones – check microphones are clear on us...? Bring: Equiptment: Flipchart Markers Book NVC A Language of Life How will we be setting up computers – lecturns – table - ...to put computer on? ... Our 3 Intentions: Give them an understanding of what CC can do for them At an elementary level to be able to apply the process so they can use it themselves Get them to want to reach out and learn more.
- Hook –Nick – 4.5 mins I’d like to talk to you about my journey I’d like to talk about how I became better at expressing, and listening to others, and most importantly, how I became true to myself I want to share with you my story of how I think I became more Agile – how I was able to take Individuals and Interactions to the next level When I started agile coaching, I realised that I was really good at giving advice…. ..and people would come to me seeking advice… but I not really great at listening Part of my job as is change – convincing others that there are better ways to do things. I didn’t think I was as effective as I could be, when influencing others to work in agile ways I realised I needed help. I needed something. A colleague mentioned Collaborative Communication, also known as Nonviolent communication as a way to listen and express myself better. Shortly after, I read a book called “Nonviolent Communication” by Marshall Rosenberg and then I had an epiphany - I really was missing something The human connections I made professionally didn’t take into account real human connection. They didn’t acknowledge the needs of other people to be heard or that..oh god..it’s ok to talk about your own feelings. It’s ok to be happy, or sad or confused. It’s ok to need to heard I wanted to get better. I wanted someone to help me. I signed up to a weekend workshop facilitated by my co-presenter Shari I was used to dealing with people problems, but not the kinds of people problems I experienced at the workshop I listened and connected with so many other people from so many different walks of life. There was a couple from the farm who wanted to i reconnect their relationships There was the man I listened to and connected with whose partner had committed self-harm when he left the relationship There was the woman who couldn’t’ get through to her partner about how much his road rage terrified her The workshop made me so uncomfortable. But I think being uncomfortable helped me to become better If there were three things things that I wish you could take away from this talk, i would hope it would be That there really is a better way that you can connect with your work colleagues, your friends, your partner, and your children You leave this room today knowing the theory behind CC, and understand how you can apply it yourself
- Nick “Agile and Collaborative Communication” – 1.5 mins So why is CC useful for day-to-day agile practice? I used to think that emotions were something you put aside when you come to work. I remember thinking it unprofessional in my workplace to let others about how I was feeling, when now I think it’s really a core part of who I am. It’s not something that should be hidden. It’s part of who we are. There re times when I find CC most useful such as when the: Situation is tense Opinions are diverse Need Calmness True understanding of underlying driver
- 5 mins – shari – (Nicholas Write Up?) Im going to invite you to close your eyes for a moment... And imagine or picture the world you would like to live in ....the world you want to create” ….what is it that is happening at home? With your family? With your friends? Imagine eveything which you deeply value ....Now imagine waking up on Monday morning and feeling energised and enthused because you are going to work. so grateful to be going to work… imagine your ideal vision of the organization you work with” – what would be happening? Imagine what you would be doing? How you would be spending your time alone… and with others. As you close your eyes and imagine this, notice WHAT QUALITIES or VALUES are present in this world, in the organisations, in this life that you're picturing.” "Open your eyes and call out the qualities and values that are present in what you envisioned.” In CC, we recognise that at the heart of everything that really matters to us, there are these values, these qualities, these human needs. That these needs are behind EVERYTHING that we do or say.
- 2 mins – shari So lets take a couple of examples: What value or need might be here behind this statement… what need/value might this person have when they said it? 1. POSSIBLE NEEDS: PREDICTABILITY; HONOURING AGREEMENTS; COMPETENCE; TRUST; SAFETY; TO MATTER; TEAM; COLLABORATION; 2. POSSIBLE NEEDS: LEARNING; TO MATTER; ACHIEVING GOALS; RELEVANCE; ENGAGEMENT; AUTONOMY;
- 2 mins – shari So lets take a couple of examples: What value or need might be here behind this statement… what need/value might this person have when they said it? 1. POSSIBLE NEEDS: PREDICTABILITY; HONOURING AGREEMENTS; COMPETENCE; TRUST; SAFETY; TO MATTER; TEAM; COLLABORATION; 2. POSSIBLE NEEDS: LEARNING; TO MATTER; ACHIEVING GOALS; RELEVANCE; ENGAGEMENT; AUTONOMY;
- Model * What does it look like without CC? – Shari – 5.5 min So, essentially what we are doing is we are talking about this process and the question is WHY ARE WE NEEDING THIS PROCESS? .... THIS IS slide shows you WHY this process is important. BEING AGILE IS A MINDSET –about living from the values and principles of the Agile Manifesto Its very first value is to put Individuals and Interactions over processes and tools So in Agile we are putting human connection in the centre of what we do. PAUSE In CC we recognise that everything that we do or say is because we are wanting to meet a human need. And Human Connection is also created in the centre of these circles. At the level of understanding, being connected, with what is truely important to each of us. And its an understanding that is not from the head but from a deeper place within us. Real connection happens at the level of our humanness. We think what is going on is about what we can see… but its never about [the late report, what the person says, its never about ...]. Its always about what that means to us... What is important to us about that. Its about what is important to us ABOUT that... If a report is late and so we will loose trust with our clients... Or it might be that I want to be able to trust our agreements. But you can’t get to the centre of these circles – to this place of connection - without talking about the things on the outside ... What are they seeing about the situation that matters to them and what are they concerned about? Then, how they feel about that... Because this helps us to access the inner circle, What really matters to them? What are their needs? So we move from the outer circles, to the inner circles, to access what is important. And we need to be able to include feelings – otherwise we dont get to what matters. To enable an Agile mindset,the process of CC its important to uncover your team members underlying needs, so you can create the best strategies and actions forward that will work for everyone.. So from the inner, we then create the strategies, back to the outer, that work for everyone. . This is where we get the very best results And this is where we have full team engagement in what we are doing together. BACKGROND COMMENTS RE THIS SLIDE! This model shows you WHY this process is important... Because it shows you that we cant actually BUILD this human connection until we get to the centre of those circles... And you cant get to the centre unless you talk about the things on the outside and you then move inside... And that is when you talk about O, F, N... You need to talk about the other 2 before you get there. BY recognising the emotion and HOW they are feeling, it helps to access to the Needs underneath.... Because often, they dont know what our needs are under the actions, and feelings help us to uncover their underlying needs. As an Agile Coach, you are trying to help people uncover their underlying needs. Then you can get the best reults. When I think of CC I think about how I can actually get to the underlying needs of why people are behaving in certain ways And the way we do that is to actually get through the different layers… past the external thoughts and actions to the underlying emotion to the underlying need. Because then we can understand why peope are driven a certain way... (what the core drivers are). And by using the process of CC gives us a way to actually get through those layers to the underlying human need... AND the actual human connection.
- SHari We use Collaborative Communication (also known as Nonviolent Communication or NVC) in 2 main ways. One – it helps you get clarity within yourself at emotional times and access inner awareness. Secondly – it’s a framework to communicate (talk and listen) in a nonjudgmental way to avoid conflict, to show vulnerability, and provide transparancy… INVITE YOU TO Remember a specific time when someone said or did somthing that you didnt enjoy – when the connection that you had was less than wonderful. And if you have a pen and paper, you may want to jot it down as we apply using CC.
- Model – Shari – 1 mins CC is a 4 part process as a way of getting clear of what is going on within us when we are emotionally tangled up internally , … AND we can use it directly in our language as a way of communicating with others. ++++ Share the story... Now I am not a judgmental person... (smile cheekily!!!) But would you like to hear some of the Judgments I had going on in my head??? But what I care about MOST is the quality of connection... JUST LIKE THE FIRST AGILE MANIFESTO. These judgments are not going to support this quality of connection that I really care about with my son (and of course with my TEAM). So firstly, I connect to my intention to connect... With _____________________________________ Firstly I am clear I want connection and openness between us... And I KNOW if I convey these judgments and Even if I DONT SAY them... If I am still thinking them, then these judgements will still be communicated, even if I don’t SAY them! So I want to get clear in my inner world first… and connected to the precious needs I have BENEATH the judgements... To what is REALLY important to me! SO INSTEAD I CHECKED IN WITH “WHAT IS IT THAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME, BEHIND THE JUDGMENTS... BECAUSE REMEMEBER... WITHIN EVERYTHING THAT WE SAY OR DO IS ALWAYS A PRECIOUS NEED... EVEN WITHIN JUDGMENTS” IMAGINE FOR A MOMENT, SOMEONE MAKING THIS STATEMENT TO THEIR TEAM: HEARING THIS WOULD PROBABLY BE HARD FOR THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THE TEAM. ITS LIKELY THEY WOULD HEAR CRITICISM AND BECOME DEFENSIVE – LIKELY REACTIVE. IT WOULD BE VERY DIFFICULT TO HEAR THE PRECIOUS NEED WHICH THE PERSON IS SAYING UNDERNEATH WHAT THEY ARE EXPRESSING. IT ALSO INCLUDES INTERPRETATIONS: THE TEAM DOESNT CARE ABOUT THE VISION OR THE CHILDREN, THE TEAM ONLY CARES ABOUT THE BOTTOM LINE HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES ABOUT THE VISION THEY ARE HIPOCRITICAL – SAYING ONE THING BUT DOING ANOTHER THEY SHOULD CARE ABOUT THE CHILDREN... AND SO ON Lets look at how we would use the 4 part process - When we use CC in a formal way, together they make up the 4 parts of a statement. Briefly mention each point...
- Model – Shari – 1 mins CC is a 4 part process as a way of getting clear of what is going on within us when we are emotionally tangled up internally , … AND we can use it directly in our language as a way of communicating with others. 80-85% OF CC IS INNER CLARITY… BECAUSE... SO IM GOING TO USE CC TO UNTANGLE MY JUDGMENTS – SO I CAN COMMUNICATE WITH HIM FROM A CLEAR SPACE CONNECTED TO HIS AND MY NEEDS, NOT JUDGMENTS TOGETHER THEY MAKE A STATEMENT. ++++ Lets look at how we would use the 4 part process - When we use CC in a formal way, together they make up the 4 parts of a statement. Briefly mention each point... I want to be clear... It looks like a process but its NOT about a process. Its about what is in our hearts and how do we communicate that clearly... And how do we hear what is in someone elses heart. EACH PIECE – What is the observation it in your situation...?
- Model – Shari – 1 mins How did it go… Not paternalistic – some authority… that I know. Instead I am sharing honestly and vulnerably how this is for me. And from that, he can make authentic choices as to how he reponds. Im not the authority. Im open to hearing him. ++++ Lets look at how we would use the 4 part process - When we use CC in a formal way, together they make up the 4 parts of a statement. Briefly mention each point...
- Model – Shari – 1 mins CC is a 4 part process as a way of getting clear of what is going on within us when we are emotionally tangled up internally , … AND we can use it directly in our language as a way of communicating with others. 80-85% OF CC IS INNER CLARITY… BECAUSE... SO IM GOING TO USE CC TO UNTANGLE MY JUDGMENTS – SO I CAN COMMUNICATE WITH HIM FROM A CLEAR SPACE CONNECTED TO HIS AND MY NEEDS, NOT JUDGMENTS TOGETHER THEY MAKE A STATEMENT. ++++ Lets look at how we would use the 4 part process - When we use CC in a formal way, together they make up the 4 parts of a statement. Briefly mention each point... I want to be clear... It looks like a process but its NOT about a process. Its about what is in our hearts and how do we communicate that clearly... And how do we hear what is in someone elses heart. EACH PIECE – What is the observation it in your situation...?
- Model – Shari – 1 mins How did it go… Not paternalistic – some authority… that I know. Instead I am sharing honestly and vulnerably how this is for me. And from that, he can make authentic choices as to how he reponds. Im not the authority. Im open to hearing him. ++++ Lets look at how we would use the 4 part process - When we use CC in a formal way, together they make up the 4 parts of a statement. Briefly mention each point...
- Model – Shari – 1 mins CC is a 4 part process as a way of getting clear of what is going on within us when we are emotionally tangled up internally , … AND we can use it directly in our language as a way of communicating with others. 80-85% OF CC IS INNER CLARITY… BECAUSE... SO IM GOING TO USE CC TO UNTANGLE MY JUDGMENTS – SO I CAN COMMUNICATE WITH HIM FROM A CLEAR SPACE CONNECTED TO HIS AND MY NEEDS, NOT JUDGMENTS TOGETHER THEY MAKE A STATEMENT. ++++ Lets look at how we would use the 4 part process - When we use CC in a formal way, together they make up the 4 parts of a statement. Briefly mention each point... I want to be clear... It looks like a process but its NOT about a process. Its about what is in our hearts and how do we communicate that clearly... And how do we hear what is in someone elses heart. EACH PIECE – What is the observation it in your situation...?
- Model – Shari – 1 mins How did it go… Not paternalistic – some authority… that I know. Instead I am sharing honestly and vulnerably how this is for me. And from that, he can make authentic choices as to how he reponds. Im not the authority. Im open to hearing him. ++++ Lets look at how we would use the 4 part process - When we use CC in a formal way, together they make up the 4 parts of a statement. Briefly mention each point...
- Model – Shari – 1 mins CC is a 4 part process as a way of getting clear of what is going on within us when we are emotionally tangled up internally , … AND we can use it directly in our language as a way of communicating with others. 80-85% OF CC IS INNER CLARITY… BECAUSE... SO IM GOING TO USE CC TO UNTANGLE MY JUDGMENTS – SO I CAN COMMUNICATE WITH HIM FROM A CLEAR SPACE CONNECTED TO HIS AND MY NEEDS, NOT JUDGMENTS TOGETHER THEY MAKE A STATEMENT. ++++ Lets look at how we would use the 4 part process - When we use CC in a formal way, together they make up the 4 parts of a statement. Briefly mention each point... I want to be clear... It looks like a process but its NOT about a process. Its about what is in our hearts and how do we communicate that clearly... And how do we hear what is in someone elses heart. EACH PIECE – What is the observation it in your situation...?
- Model – Shari – 1 mins How did it go… Not paternalistic – some authority… that I know. Instead I am sharing honestly and vulnerably how this is for me. And from that, he can make authentic choices as to how he reponds. Im not the authority. Im open to hearing him. ++++ Lets look at how we would use the 4 part process - When we use CC in a formal way, together they make up the 4 parts of a statement. Briefly mention each point...
- Model – Shari – 1 mins So when I am clear within myself, of what it is that is so important to me… then I am congruent... What I say is what is there within me. Who here has had the experience of someone saying one thing but it just doesnt FEEL true. Which are you going to believe… the words they say or how you feel? By getting clear internally, you are congruent and have gravitas... What you say is what you mean. Its also a powerful framework to be able to have really challenging conversations. NOW NICK IS GOING TO SHARE HOW HE HAS APPLIED CC How did it go… Not paternalistic – some authority… that I know. Instead I am sharing honestly and vulnerably how this is for me. And from that, he can make authentic choices as to how he reponds. Im not the authority. Im open to hearing him. ++++ Lets look at how we would use the 4 part process - When we use CC in a formal way, together they make up the 4 parts of a statement. Briefly mention each point...
- QUESTION – NICK, DO YOU WANT ME TO DO AN INTRO? 1.5 Minutes – Nick For one of our engineering departments, I created an automated release burn-up report that was periodically sent out to the whole department. A few people from one team approached me about the contents of one of their reports being misinterpreted. I immediately came to the conclusion that they were concerned about how their performance was appearing to management and they wanted me to fudge the numbers When I used the CC process when interacting with the team, I realised my assumption was wrong. I had to retry the CC process several times to really get to the root of the problem. My real problem was understanding what their need was. I tried the need to report performance correctly to management but it didn’t’ fly. After several repetitions of the CC process I was finally able to get to the real need.
- Continued.. O – “When you see the report with those velocity numbers” F – “I’m sensing you are upset, and frustrated“ N - “You want to show to yourself how well your team is performing” R – “Can I change the report so it better reflects your team’s velocity” Essentially they were upset only because the report wasn’t reflecting how good they were going. This made me really happy as I was able to make a human connection. It also helped me to respond in the right way – to fix a report instead of having some tough transparency/safetly conversations with the department’s management
- Nick – 1.5 mins Here’s another example of an application of CC with a the team I’m currently working with The team was noticing that a team member seemed to be doing a lot of work although he was still actively participating in the daily scrum & retrospectives When it came down to understanding what that work was however, the team was puzzled. They didn’t really know what he was working on. The scrum master applied collaborative communication to help understand the problem:
- Continued..Nick 2 mins (incl last slide) It went like this Observation – “I noticed that you’ve been working in our team” Feeling – “I am feeling concerned and worried“ Need - “Because I want to make sure we can all visualise our work” Request – “Can I help you to make your work more visible so the team can see it?” When we approach the problem with CC – we focus on the observation – and we’re non judgemental. Imagine a confrontation if we just said “Hey, I don’t think you are doing any work – we can’t see any outputs of what you’re doing.”
- Nick – internal study https://workcollaboratively.com/resources/report-cc-2012/ Not only does CC bring well being, ease and clear communication, but Merck Pharmaceuticals researched some of the other areas of benefit of bringing in this approach in the top levels of their own management… They found 100% of participants increased theirs and people around them’s efficiency A 67-90 % estimated reduction of time to resolve issues, with problem solving time estimated as cut by 10-33% Overall efficiency increased up to 80% A cut in the number of meetings needed to address an issue was 50-80% AND the time required in each meeting was cut in half. Mostly these savings are because people are able to have the conversations that they need to AND they are able to say it efficienctly.
- Next Steps Shari
- 2 mins Closing – Nick… I think this should be Nick and link it back to the imperative of developing the skills to navigate feelings [to fulfill the first principle of Agile]... I hope you took away that Collaborative Communication is a way to get to underlying needs of individuals in conversation. If there were three things things that I wish you could take away from this talk, i would hope it would be That there really is a better way that you can connect with your work colleagues, your friends, your partner, and your children You leave this room today knowing the theory behind CC, and understand how you can apply it yourself