This document discusses various topics related to marriage, money, and financial well-being from a Christian perspective. It addresses the importance of financial peace and defines it as having the ability to do what God has called you to do. It also discusses the interrelationship between marriage, money, faith, family, and friends. Additionally, it covers money patterns passed down through families, different levels of financial maturity, the four most important financial statements, dealing with money triggers, the importance of perspective, legacy, and other financial planning topics.
A parent’s guide to providing children with the necessary basic financial skills as early as possible. It’s never too early to develop good saving and spending habits!
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3. What Matters Then?
What do we all want from money?
* Wealth, Prosperity, Freedom
No, it is peace. What does financial peace mean as a
Christian? The ability to do what God has called you to
do.
4. A Model for Well Being
Social
Intellectual
Vocation
al
Emotional
Baptism
in Christ
Financial
Physical
Adapted from Catherin Hart Weber
5. Telling yourself the truth
How do you see yourself
*
*
*
*
*
How do others see you
*
*
*
*
*
6. Marriage and Money Argument
Cycle
Money
Issue
Marriage
Problem
Marriage
Problem
Money
Issue
7. 3 F’s of Financial Influence
Faith
Family
Friends
8. Money Does Grow on Trees
On your family tree
What money patterns, beliefs, values have been passed
down from generation to generation
We need look no further then our common groupings of the
poor, middle class, and wealthy
Rules that govern the patterns of interaction and decision
making
May rules are implicit, i.e. not stated directly
How much money is growing on your family tree?
9. Patterns of Poor Money
Decisions
Emotional
Behavioral
Cognitive Relational
Bad Money Decisions
10. Patterns of Good Money
Decisions
Emotional
Behavioral
CognitiveRelational
Good Money Decisions
11. The Rope of Life
Focusing on your past, present and future as forming your rope of life
will give you strength, but if you ignore any of these aspects of life
then your rope will be weakened.
12. Financial Independence vs. Financial
Interdependence
Financial Independence says that at some point you
can have enough money that you will never have to
worry about being supported
Financial Interdependence says that we live in a
network of people, and count on them to maintain
financial security
14. More Money Will Not Solve Your
PROBLEMS
Amt of $
Number of Decisions
Extreme Poor
Wealthy
15. Multiple Streams of Love form
Rich Relationships
Daily Interaction
Words of Encouragement
Being Known
Meeting
Specific Needs
for Love
16. How Money Mature Are You?
Infant
Behaves in a completely dependent manner, requires
full financial support
Toddler
- Exercises little self control, and often makes poor
decisions requiring guidance.
- Demonstrates little knowledge of how money works
Adolescent –
-Starting to make wiser choices about where and when to
Only thinking of use money.
self
- Keeps some savings, but not enough to support
themselves in case of an emergency.
- Understands basic financial concepts such as savings and
checking.
-Money identity; The things I own define who I am
17. How Money Mature Are You?
Young Adult –
Considers
needs of other
family
members
-Learning to make wiser choices, but still make a poor
decision from time to time
-Looking to the future and is saving.
-Using a checking and savings account without a
problem
-Starting to give away money from time to time
-Proper insurances in place
-Has a basic understanding of investing and taxes
-Sees money as a source of identity
Mature Adult –
Thinks of
family, self, &
community
-Consistently makes wise choices
-Has control over debt management
-Regularly saving, investing and giving money away
-Understands investing, insurance and has an estate plan
-Questions money as a source of identity
18. How Money Mature Are You?
Senior Adult –
Knows needs
of family, self
& community
-Is looking to leave a legacy
-Has confidence in their financial security
-Regularly works with financial professionals to plan
for the future
-Does not see money as a source of their significance,
but rather as a tool to create value for others
20. 4 Most Important Financial
Statements
You + Christ = True Worth
Statement of Personal Accomplishments
What you own – What you owe = Net worth
Commanders intent budget
23. Statement of Personal
Accomplishments
Educational
• Schools Attended
• Trainings & Certifications
Professional
• Jobs you have had
• People in your network
Personal
• Family relationships
• Friend relationships
• Personal challenges accomplished
24. Understanding Net Worth
Tangible Assets
TangibleLiabilities
Assets = What you own
Liabilities = What you owe
Increasing Assets = Home and
Investments
Increasing Liabilities = Unpaid debt,
often credit cards
Decreasing Assets = Cars, Boats, etc.
Decreasing Liabilities = Mortgage,
Student Loan, Car Loan.
26. Net Worth
Example
What I Own
$
What I Owe
$
Home Value
200,000
Mortgage
150,000
Car Value
15,000
Car Loan
3,000
Checking and Savings 5,000
Credit Card Debt
3,000
Investments
40,000
Student Loan
30,000
Other
1,000
Other
500
Total
261,000
Total
186,500
Net Worth
261,000 –
185,600
= 75,400
28. Commanders Intent Budget
Know your fixed expenses
Be flexible with your variable expenses
The battle plan will change throughout the month.
Remain flexible
Know your total resources for any given month
29. Pay Increase to Bump the
Budget
Generosity Works
Robert Emmons of U.C. Davis a researcher of
GRATITUDE has found that people who regularly
practice attitudes of gratitude on average have a 7%
higher income level.
30. Take Homes on Gratitude
1. Life is a continual invitation to gratitude
2. Gratitude is a choice that we aim for (attention,
intention, memory)
3. Gratitude is the best approach to life
31. On Saving
- Just because you buy stuff on sale does not mean you
are a great saver.
- Ex. Walking in to Target to get milk and come out also
with a new shirt for 50% off.
- You are someone that can buy things marked down in
price, which is just a gimmick to get you to buy
32. On Saving Continued
Someone who is a great saver can start with a $100 at
one point.
Then at another predetermined point have a larger
amount of money like $200.
If they are a great saver, they will continue this process
33. On Investing for the Future
PUT TOGETHER A SLIDE ON THE POWER OF
COMPOUNDING INTEREST
34. Money Triggers
Money triggers cause you to buy things with out
thinking
You see a sale sign, you do what?
You go to the movies, you buy what?
You go out to eat, what happens?
On the internet, what is happening?
35. Money Triggers
Everything has a label
Money triggers play on our senses of feelings and
emotions, not logic.
We use logic to justify the purchase after we have been
triggered
Why are all the deserts out in front at Panera?
36. Dealing with Money Triggers
Carry no cash, debit cards, or credit cards for a few
days and see how many times you go to buy something
without thinking.
Something less extreme, carry only enough cash for
what you intend to buy for that day. Try this for a week.
37. Legacy
“When we forget who we are, we forget what to do.
When we remember who we are, we know what to do”
Mark Driscol
Who are we then and why spend all this time talking about money?
Because we are children of God and the actions and decisions we
take with the money God has entrusted us with, reflect who we are
and what we stand for.
Are you using wealth for your kingdom or His?
38. Keeping Perspective
God has not called us to impress people, but rather impact people,
make an impact not an impression.Rick Rigsby
Ego is the anesthesia that numbs the pain of stupidity. Rick Rigsby
In our culture it is so much better to appear good then be good. Rick
Rigsby
A tattered Bible, an empty closet (metaphorical and literal) Charles Spergeon
God is a process oriented God, yet we live in an outcome oriented
world. Rick Rigsby
Confusion is my friend, some of my best insights have come out of
confusion. Donald Harvey
39. Parking Lot
Money is a control issue like eating disorders,
ultimately people are trying to seek control.
Transition from checkbooks to check cards, no longer
do you have to document you checking balance
because you can always check online. In the
checkbook days if you did not keep your balance you
where lost until the end of the month.
40. Parking Lot Cont.
It’s the subtle money decisions that are derailing many
families from accomplishing their financial goals and
desires, not always the one big bad decision. Think of a
ripple effect and how secret shopping, splurge
purchases, and the extra 10% you spend with out
realizing it. There is a lot of money going down the
drain and creating no meaningful impact in your life or
the life of others.
41. Parking Lot Cont.
Money Blind Spots
Financial Infidelity
Retail Therapy
Technology and money
Editor's Notes
Think of it like a sandwich, God provides the bread, and he lets you fill in the fixings. However if you start to put things on the sandwich that are outside of his will for your life will likely start to prompt you to remove some of those items.
Underlying assumption that life holds a complexity of experienceYou can also thing of this as a wheel. How balanced is your wheel.
Example I have an MBA, CFP, almost MACC, Help launch a dental practice, great son, great wife, but still somehow when I look at what someone else has I feel inadequate. But that person that I am comparing myself to does not in anyway see me that way. They see all those things and more.
Many say that money issues are the number one issue in marriage. I submit to you that money problems may be symptomatic of underlying relationship issues in your marriage. Undeniably one can beget the other. To resolve this cyclical issue you need to address both challenges.
Emotional (How we feel) – Fear, Shame, Guilt, DoubtBehavioral (How we behave) – Over Spend, Over, Save, Place our emphasis in the wrong placesCognitive (How we think) – Money is bad, Money is evil, I don’t serve it, I can’t earn it, I will never have enoughRelational (How we relate) – Broken relationships, Isolation, Volatile, Infrequent
Emotional (How we feel) – Secure, Safe, Joy, Peace, GratefulBehavioral (How we behave) – Save and invest regularly, give generouslyCognitive (How we think) – Money is good, Money is a tool, Money is helpful, We have realistic control, You can earn it, know why you want what you wantRelational (How we relate) – Stable relationships, Have advising relationships, Interact with people who have positive views of money, find people that are where you want to get to
Financial independence is always in the futureFinancial interdependence is available now through faith. When we accept that God owns it all then we really get financial interdependence.Life like you are rich because you are in Christ.
As you can see no matter what level of economic status you live in there is a real need for other people to be directly and indirectly involved in your life. Most of the time in our financial life we don’t know what we are moving towards, so we just shot for more money. Yet this becomes an empty pursuit and we must shift to the meaning of money in our life, from financial independence to financial interdependence.
In the lower right had corner we see that the extreme poor have very few decisions to make. If they are lucky they get to pick the food they will eat.However for the wealthy, they almost have infinite decisions to make.This is why when any one has an increasing amount of money at their disposal they chance for making poor decisions goes up, not down. There are so many more decisions to be made. The responsibility continually increases with greater wealth.The extreme poor do not have to fight over money decisions they know they are going to use all they have to feed themselves.
Daily Interaction – This is how you treat each other day in and day out, this is all the non verbal behavior. You exchange the most of this in your relationship. There are millions of messages sent between you and your spouse with out saying a word Words of Encouragement – When you talk to each other and share about what is going on in your life. This includes a lot of the day to day stuff, and communicates to your significant other that you are interested and aware of what is going on in their life’s. Being Known – This is regularly setting aside intentional time to connect with each other. Sharing of the hearts. Meeting specific needs for love – This can only happen if you are fulfilling the first three sources of love. The first three sources of love provide the necessary input for knowing how to meet the specific needs of love for your spouse. Meeting these specific needs are typically only known by the person they are closest to.
The important thing to keep in mind when we think about people developmentally is that they typically do not pass from one phase to the next clearly. Rather it is through learning, trial and error that they mature and grow. It is usually in reflection that we realize that we have transitioned from one stage to the next.The great thing about money maturity, is that you do not have to wait to be the age of the stage to embody the values of that stage. But it can also help you understand what the appropriate expectations should be for any developmental stage that you are considering
Answer the question, what is an estate plan.
Answer the question, what is an estate plan.
God is the belt that holds up the pants.You have to walk with God or your going to get caught with your pants down. Be sure to explain what each of these terms mean
Your true worth statement guides the rest of your decisions. When you know who you are in Christ, then you can have greater peace and perspective on how to give meaning to the money that passes through your hands.
Be sure to explain being made in the image of God and its significance for determining our identity. When we have our earthly identities misaligned and they are informing our understanding of God then we can feel a whole host of challenging emotions. Most significantly uncertain, fearful, confused and lost.
But when God is first and we allow him to inform who we are in him. Then our earthly identities have meaning and purpose behind them.
Address why this should be the first and primary financial statement that every family should have at their finger tipsWay to benchmarkSee progressIdentify places to change, addressDon’t loose sight of the things that you have and don’t haveFor example if you are going through a rough spot in life and feel like your checking account is always low, and you forget that you have investments, and equity in your home to back you up then you can feel a lot of additional unnecessary stress
Balance – a budget helps individuals and families find and create balance in their life’s. Understanding – Often feel like we don’t know where all the money is going, and so a budget helps us to see both where the money have gone.Direction – A budget can also help us set the course for where you are going. It can work to support your goals for changing your net worth pictureGifts – Budgets can some times highlight where you have been blessed and received and done more then you realizedExtra – when you create a budget then find out where you are spending that extra money that maybe you don’t wan to, and can decide where you need to reallocate the fundsTime – when you get control of your budget and know where your money is going then it can give you time back. You know how much you have to spend and once it is out, you are done.
Remember the story of a commanding officer of west point, who realized that detailed plans often get thrown out the window once the troupes hit the ground. That is why it is need to be flexibility to changeBe sure to also find your % guidelines.
I wonder in the retail world, how much stuff is ever bought at full price, verses at some level of a sale price. How often do we walk in to a store with the intention of getting one item, and end up leaving with more then that because it was on sale.
Savers are people who can regularly put money to the side and have an ever increasing balanceInvestors are people who take that money that is put aside and put it in a place where it can grow without any additional work on their part.
I recently read some research that said just having the visa/mc logo at check out would cause consumers to spend more then if the sign was not there.
Talk about my recent experience at the AACC conference.