Youth Ministry Lesson - Tips for Working With Youth and Handling Discipline Problems

Youth Ministry Lesson - Tips for
Working With Youth and Handling
Discipline Problems
Some key concepts and principles to minimize and
correct discipline problems when dealing with
youth.
www.CreativeYouthIdeas.com
www.CreativeSermonIdeas.com

Build Relationships with Youth
Take time to get to know each youth. Teenagers will be teenagers and are
by nature restless, hyper, and noisy persons. Accept youth as the silly, noisy
people they are. Learn to see their sensitive, enthusiastic, eager side which
needs the nurturing of a caring adult. As you build relationships with each
youth, and they feel that you appreciate and accept them, you will find a
mutual trust and respect growing. Youth are much more responsive to the
guidance, advice and even discipline of those they view as caring. “Youth
don’t care what you know until the know that you care.”

When unacceptable behavior occurs, (and it will definitely occur from time
to time) it is rarely a personal attack directed toward you. It is simply a
symptom of a deeper problem that a teenager might have. Behavior is
always a symptom of something else. Always try to find the root causes of
the behavior. When you handle the root, the behavior of the youth will
change. Be careful not to embarrass a teen in front of their peers. The result
will be more problems with that student. Discipline youth in private if at all
possible. Create a positive but firm relationship. When you have a positive
relationship with youth, often, a simple touch, look, or quick remark to quiet
down is usually enough to get things moving in a positive direction again.

Create a Positive Environment for Youth
Be proactive rather than reactive. To encourage promptness, start with
a “bang”. To fight the teenagers’ tendency to be late, start on time.
Don’t react by running after youth, scream, or remind them of the time
to get started. Instead, be proactive and start each meeting with a
quick activity that will grab the attention of the youth.

Youth are talkative and full of energy so instead of trying to
react and calm them down, keep them actively involved
throughout the programs with a variety of activities and
opportunities for them to interact, to express themselves,
and to release their energy. Make the youth programs
positive and upbeat with a wide selection of activities that
are exciting and fun, game oriented, and concise.

Guide Rather than Tell
Never tell a youth anything he can discover
for himself! We all learn more by doing
rather than listening. Personal discovery is
much more powerful than being given the
answers. When we discover things for
ourselves we make them our own truth.

Be Firm with a Good Measure of Grace
At one extreme are youth leaders who are “Drill Sergeant’s” and
“Dictators”. At the other extreme are the “Pushovers”, the youth
leaders without a backbone. While there may be times for various
responses, the most effective youth leaders lie somewhere in between.
Being strict won’t get the results you want; nor will being unstructured.
We don’t always give youth what they want, but what they need
because sometimes they are unaware of what they really need
themselves

When discipline is called for we must always seek to
rehabilitate, to guide youth toward positive growth
rather than to simply punish. There are times when a
firm hand is needed, and there are times when grace is
needed. Explain what you see as the problem and
encourage the teens to help come up with a solution.

Be Realistic but Encouraging Positive Growth
Remember that teenagers’ abnormal behavior is almost always
normal. Their behavior is only a temporary phase youth pass
through on the way to adulthood. In time they will grow out of it.
While we must love them as they are, we must love them enough to
not leave them as they are. And when it is hard to love them as they
are, we must love them for what they can be. As adult youth leaders
we need to help youth get better acquainted with who they are and
who they are becoming in Christ.

Set Boundaries and Expectations for Youth
Together with the youth, as a group decide what is and is not
objectionable behavior, and set specific limits accordingly. Boundaries
should be empowering rather than simply inhibiting. When the
students help make the rules, they break them less frequently. Once
the limits are set, the youth should know and agree to the limits. But
also remember that youth will forever be testing the boundaries in an
attempt to discover which boundaries are firm and which ones are
flexible. It’s not a rejection of the boundaries but an attempt to
establish their own boundaries and find a place to stand.

Always know why the boundary exists and be able to explain the rationale
for it. Youth also need to recognize that there are often very real
consequences for crossing over boundaries and reasons they are placed
where they are. Like the edge of a cliff there will be some that want to get
as close to the edge as possible for the thrill, but they risk falling over the
edge and getting hurt in the process. We need to help them recognize
where the boundaries are and help them to walk a comfortable distance
away from them. Allow, as much as possible, for freedom and flexibility
within the limits set. However, “no” must be taken seriously, not as a
“maybe.”

Appropriate Responses to Youth Behavior
Build a good healthy respect for youth into your discipline. Never
embarrass a youth in front of his peers. When there are problems, try
to deal with a youth alone. Never attack the person, only the behavior.
Rewards and punishments must be appropriate and aimed to
encourage positive behavior while discouraging negative behavior. Both
the “stick” and the “carrot” are effective and have their moments, but
we should not go to the extremes of bribery for positive behavior and
getting revenge for negative behavior.

When a youth breaks a rule, don’t overreact
with harshness, but correct the problem with
compassion. Students need to know what will
happen when a rule is broken and the
consequences must be fair and fit the action.

Free Expression for Youth
Structure activities in which the young people are free to
express themselves without judgment. Provide other
perspectives (including the Biblical perspective) and other ways
to view things without labeling the youth as wrong. When the
truth is clear and the choices are presented to them in a no
judgmental way most youth will correct themselves. But when
threatened youth are more likely to be defensive, rebellious, or
even confrontational

Use group-building exercises to let students be
talkative and noisy within an orderly context. Youth
will appreciate the opportunity to express
themselves. You will appreciate the fact that some
energy can be released in a positive way.

Actively Involve the Youth
Allow your youth to help you plan and implement activities. The
more ownership youth have in the event, the less discipline
problems you’ll have. Involvement and responsibility creates
commitment. Whether your youth group is large or small your
functions should include a variety of activities that cater to a
variety of energy levels and interests, especially with younger
youth.

During discussions, break up the youth into small
groups so no one is left out. Often youth who don’t get
involved are the ones who cause the most problems.
Also be conscious of transitions. Move smoothly and
quickly from one activity to another. When a lag occurs
between activities, problems tend to occur.

Actively Involve Caring Adults
When other adults are included they bring with them a
variety of gifts, leadership styles, and personalities. A few
adults seated among the youth can help maintain control of
the group without attracting a lot of attention. Some are
better at disciplining without harshness. Some are respected
by the youth already. The youth will respond to them well
when these leaders must “have a talk” with them.

What to Do with Unacceptable Behavior
You cannot allow one youth to spoil the event for
everyone. If a teenager senses you are sincere about
your frustration, he usually will respond in a positive
manner. If further disruption continues, be prepared to
take harsher action in love, if necessary.

Creative Youth Ideas
Camp Bible Study Series
“Who Do You Say that I AM?”
www.creativeyouthideas.com/resources/whodoyousay.html
-> Tell me about “Who Do You Say that I AM?”
Jesus asked the disciples, "Who do others
say that I am?" It was easy to answer
because it required no conviction, no
commitment, and no risk. But then he
follows that question with another, "Who
do YOU say that I am?"

Live the Fruitful, Abundant Life
Jesus Promised. Great for youth camps or
weekly Youth Bible Study. There are 7
Primary Bible study Sessions in the series.
www.creativeyouthideas.com/resources/fruitofthespirit.html
-> Tell me about “Fruit Of the Spirit”
Creative Youth Ideas
Youth Camp Bible Study Series
“Fruit Of the Spirit”

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Youth Ministry Lesson - Tips for Working With Youth and Handling Discipline Problems