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Umair Aslam
• Salt Lake City, Utah, on October
24, 1932
• He was an American educator,
business consultant,
motivational speaker
and author of the bestselling
book.
• B.S. in Business Administration
from the University of Utah in
Salt Lake City,
• M.B.A. in Business
Administration from Harvard
University
• Doctorate from Brigham Young
University
STEPHEN RICHARDS
COVEY
STEPHEN RICHARDS COVEY
His most popular book was The Seven Habits of
Highly Effective People. which has sold more than
25 million copies in 40 languages throughout the
world.
Covey’s Milestones
• In 2002, Forbes named The 7 Habits of Highly Effective
People one of the top 10 most influential management
books ever.
• Authored Principle-Centered Leadership and The 7
Habits of Highly Effective Families, with sales exceeding
more than one million copies each.
• Authored First Things First, with sales exceed more than
two million copies
• Authored The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families,
which was released in October 1997, and is the #1 best-
selling hardcover book on family.
• Authored The 8th Habit, with sales exceeding nearly a
million copies.
Covey’s Milestones
• Covey received The National Fatherhood Award from
the National Fatherhood Initiative.
• Covey was named Speaker of the Year in 1999.
• Covey received the International Man of Peace Award.
• Covey received the International Entrepreneur of the
Year Award.
• Covey participated on the Board of Directors for the
Points of Light Foundation.
• Covey was co-founder and vice chairman of Franklin
Covey.
• Covey was awarded twelve honorary doctorate
degrees.
Stephen Richards Cove
Stephen R. Covey
passed away peacefully
on Monday July 16,
2012 , at Eastern Idaho
Regional Medical
Center. His legacy to the
world is Principle-
Centered Leadership
and his many
contributions will live on
through the principles
he loved, taught and
espoused.
THE SEVEN HABITS OF
HIGHLY EFFECTIVE
PEOPLE
The Seven Habits of Highly
Effective People, was named
the #1 Most Influential Business
Book of the 20th Century,
Which has sold more than 25
million copies worldwide in 40
languages since its first
publication in 1989. The audio
version became the first non-
fiction audio-book in U.S.
publishing history to sell more
than one million copies.
• The author - Stephen R Covey wanted to
convey life changing ideas about being a
more effective person in all areas of life, be
it family, professional, spiritual or emotional
and there by creating happiness and
satisfaction, so that we can become more
successful both personally and
professionally The author puts across seven
habits which will help us be more effective.
THE SEVEN HABITS OF
HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE
The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective
People
Henry David Thoreau
1817-1862
PREAMBLE TO FIRST HABIT
I know of no more encouraging
fact than the unquestionable
ability of man to elevate his life
by conscious endeavor.
• Self-Awareness is the ability to think
about your very thought process
• Self awareness: the most fundamental
paradigm of effectiveness.
• A person can develop self-paradigm and
can appreciate paradigms of others.
• These paradigms should be based on
reality or on principles.
PREAMBLE TO FIRST HABIT
• Covey exemplifies image of a person as the image reflected by a
crazy mirror.
• This is because of a person viewing himself based on the biased
opinions of others.
• Projections ( biased opinions) disfigure the actual reflections
THE SOCIAL MIRROR
THE SOCIAL MIRROR
Negative Projections like
• You are never on time
• You eat like a horse
• You must be an artist
• I cant believe you won
• This is so simple? Why cant you understand
Negative projections hurt the very ability of a human being to develop self
awareness about his strengths
WHAT IS YOUR LOCUS OF CONTROL?
• I am the Master of my OWN fate ( Highly Internal)
• I am a pawn to my fate ( Highly External)
• This brings us to three important theories
1. Genetic Determinism
2. Psychic Determinism
3. Environmental Determinism
• Three theories define human effectiveness
• Each of these important theories are based on
stimulus and response
• These theories independently or in combination
determine the nature of man
1. Genetic Determinism: Genes; traits from
ancestors
2. Psychic Determinism: Parents upbringing,
Childhood experience structures the character
3. Environmental Determinism: Environment (
surrounding people family /friends/colleagues)
influences your situation
BETWEEN STIMULUS AND RESONSE
WHAT IS PROACTIVE?
Proactive is to step up and
do something to solve a problem before it
becomes an issue.
It is to take steps to avoid the problem in the first
place.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ON DAYS LIKE THIS?
Absolutely NO
THAT’S WHY WE HAVE TO BE PROACTIVE .
PROACTIVE IS THE MANTRA TO SUCCESS.
TAKE AN UMBRELLA FOR
THE RAINY DAY
PROACTIVELY DEFINED
Human beings are responsible for their own
behavior.
Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our
conditions.
We have the initiative and responsibility to make
things happen.
RESPONSIBILITY: “Response – ability” Ability to
choose your response.
CHARACTERISTICS OF PROACTIVE PEOPLE
• Highly effective people take the initiative. They are
proactive.
• They do not impose limits on themselves that
prevent them from acting.
• They recognize that they have the freedom to
determine the kind of character they will have.
• They may not be able to control their
circumstances, but they can decide how to make
the best use of those circumstances.
PROACTIVE VS. REACTIVE
PROACTIVE PEOPLE
 Do not Blame anyone or
anything.
 Behavior is a product of
their conscious choice,
based on values.
 They carry their social
weather with them.
REACTIVE PEOPLE
 Blame circumstances,
conditions & conditioning.
 Behavior is a product of
their conditions, based on
feelings.
 If social weather is good,
they feel good, if it is bad,
they feel bad.
Proactive vs Reactive
•Having discussed the characteristics for
both proactive and reactive individuals we
can extend this discussion to effective
leadership. We have the example of both
proactive and reactive leaders.
•Reactive leaders tend to lose focus.
Proactive leaders never loose sight of
challenges and forewarn their followers .
• In flurry of words against
opponents during several
gatherings, the politicians
have mistakenly damaged
their cause. This time it was
Pakistan Muslim League-
Nawaz (PML-N) leader
Shahbaz Sharif who said that
he will eliminate electricity
from the country.
• Addressing a PML-N
gathering, the PML-N leader
said that he will eliminate
the electricity from the
country in two years.
REACTIVE (EXAMPLE)
• In a slip of tongue
during a party gathering
, the Pakistan Tehrik-i-
Insaf Chief Imran Khan
said that go and vote
for lion, a symbol of
PTI’s opponent Pakistan
Muslim League-Nawaz
in the upcoming
elections.
• The whole world calls
Jinnah a man of words
PROACTIVE EXAMPLE
• Zulifiqar Ali Bhutto was proactive. He was a charismatic
leader
• Real leaders are ordinary people with extra ordinary
determination
HOW TO BE PROACTIVE?
• Change how you handle things. Make a
choice to be positive and focus on those
things that YOU can change.
• Make a positive difference in your family,
your class, your school and the world!
LANGUAGE PROACTIVE VS REACTIVE
SELF AWARENESS TEST
1. How Proactive am I?
The degree to which I take initiative to improve my
current circumstances or create new ones.
2. Develop a Personal Mission Statement
Develop a Philosophy or creed
What you want to achieve with your beliefs and
values
3. Develop Goals based on time periods
Short term
Intermediate
Long term
HABIT ONE:
BE PROACTIVE
Individuals are responsible for their own choices and have the freedom to choose.
 “I am responsible for my behavior and the choices I make”
 “I can expand my personal freedom and influence through being proactive”
Key Processes
 Recognize reactive tendencies & develop proactive responses
 Increase Circle of Influence
REACTIVE VS. PROACTIVE BEHAVIOR
Reactive: Allow
outside influences
control responses
Proactive: Use space
between stimulus and
response to make
choices which best apply
values
Stimulus Response ResponseStimulus
Space for freedom to
choose according to
values
Act or be acted upon
• The difference between people who exercise
initiative and those who don’t
• Development of seven habits
• Development of proactive muscles
• Each habit puts the responsibility on you to act
• If you wait to be acted upon, you will be acted
upon
Reactive language
There’s nothing I can do
There is just the way I am
They won’t allow that
I have to do that
I can’t
Proactive language
Let’s look at our alternatives
I can choose a different approach
I can create an effective presentation
I will choose an appropriate response
I choose
• A serious problem with reactive language
• Self full-filling prophecy
• People become reinforced
• They feel increasingly victimized and out of
control
• They blame outside forces- other people ,
circumstances
• Proactive people make love a verb
• Love is something you do: the sacrifices you
make
• If you are a parent, look at the love you have
for your children you sacrificed for
• Proactive people subordinate feelings to
values
ANOTHER WAY TO BECOME MORE
SELF-AWARE REGARDING OUR
OWN DEGREE OF PROACTIVITY IS
TO LOOK AT WHERE WE FOCUS
OUR TIME AND ENERGY.
R
CIRCLE OF
CONCERN
NO CONCERN
A Circle of Concern encompasses the
wide range of concerns we have, such
as our health, our children, problems
at work, the amount of government
borrowing, or the threat of war.
As we look at those things within our
Circle of Concern, it becomes apparent
that there are some things over which
we have no real control and others that
we can do something about.
PROACTIVE FOCUS: Proactive people focus on issues
within their circle of influence. They work on things
they can do something about. The nature of their
energy in doing this is positive, enlarging and
magnifying. They increase their Circle of Influence
REACTIVE FOCUS
The reactive people focus on weakness of other
people the problems in the environment . There
focus results in blaming and accusing attitudes
and reactive languages, and feelings of
victimization .the negative energy flies in and
like this they think that they little things about
which they can do something about and
gradually they decrease there circle of influence.
Because of position, wealth, role,
relationship there are some
circumstances in which the circle
influence is larger than the circle of
concern this reflects self-inflicted
emotional myopia.
Direct Control
Indirect Control
No control
Expanding the circle of influence
When we choose our response to a situation then
this means that we powerfully influence our
circumstances. Rather than becoming tensed
about the situation we should find ways to correct
situations. We should not focus on the weak points
on which we don’t have control but we should
focus on those points which are strong and on
which we have influence like this we will be able to
succeed and this all means that we are increasing
our circle of influence.
THE “HAVE” AND THE “BE’S”
Have’s
one way to determine which
circle our concern is in is to
distinguish between the
have’s and the be's. The
Circle of Concern is filled with
the have's :-
"I'll be happy when I have my
house paid off."
"If I had more obedient kids."
"If I had my degree."
"If I could just have more time to
myself."
Be’s
The Circle of Influence
is filled with the be's:-
 I can be more patient
 be wise
 be loving.
It's the character focus.
Anytime we think the problem is "out there," that thought is the
problem. We empower what's out there to control us. The
change model is "outside -in" -- what's out there has to change
before we can change.
The proactive approach is to change from the Inside-Out: to be
different, and by being different, to effect positive change in
what's out there : -
 I can be more resourceful
 I can be more diligent
 I can be more creative
 I can be more cooperative
It is so much easier to blame other people, conditioning, or conditions for our
own stagnant situation. But we are responsible -- "response-able" -- to
control our lives and to powerfully influence our circumstances by working
on “be”.
Situation:
If I have a problem in
my marriage, what do I
really gain by
continually confessing
my wife's sins? By saying
I'm not responsible, I
make myself a
powerless victim; I
immobilize myself in a
negative situation.
If I really want to improve
my situation, I can work on
the one thing over which I
have control -- myself. I can
stop trying to shape up my
wife and work on my own
weaknesses. I can focus on
being a great marriage
partner, a source of
unconditional love and
support. Hopefully, my wife
will feel the power of
proactive example and
respond in kind.
There are so many ways to work in the Circle
of Influence –
 to be a better listener
 to be a more loving marriage partner
 to be a better student
 to be a more cooperative
 dedicated employee
Sometimes the most proactive thing we can
do is to be happy, just to genuinely smile.
Happiness, like unhappiness, is a proactive
choice. There are things, like the weather,
that our Circle of Influence will never include.
But as proactive people, we can carry our
own physical or social weather with us. We
can be happy and accept those things that
at present we can't control, while we focus
our efforts on the things that we can.
THE OTHER END OF THE
STICK
Before we totally shift our life focus to
our Circle of Influence, we need to
consider two things in our Circle of
Concern that merit deeper thought :-
 consequences
 mistakes.
Consequences:-
While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the
consequences of those actions. Consequences are governed by natural law.
They are out in the Circle of Concern. We can decide to step in front of a fast-
moving train, but we cannot decide what will happen when the train hits us.
our behavior is governed by principles. Living in harmony with them brings
positive consequences; violating them brings negative consequences. We are
free to choose our response in any situation, but in doing so, we choose the
attendant consequence. "When we pick up one end of the stick, we pick up the
other."
MISTAKES:-
Undoubtedly, there have been times in each of our lives when we
have picked up what we later felt was the wrong stick. Our choices
have brought consequences we would rather have lived without. If
we had the choice to make over again, we would make it
differently. We call these choices mistakes, and they are the
second thing that merits our deeper thought.
Our response to any mistake affects the quality of the next
moment. It is important to immediately admit and correct our
mistakes so that they have no power over that next moment and
we are empowered again.
Making and Keeping Commitments
At the very heart of our Circle of Influence is our ability to make and keep
commitments and promises. The commitments we make to ourselves and to others,
and our integrity to those commitments, is the essence and clearest manifestation
of our proactivity.
It is here that we find two ways to put ourselves in control of our lives immediately.
We can make a promise -- and keep it. Or we can set a goal -- and work to achieve it.
As we make and keep commitments, even small commitments, we begin to establish
an inner integrity that gives us the awareness of self-control and the courage and
strength to accept more of the responsibility for our own lives. By making and
keeping promises to ourselves and others, little by little, our honor becomes greater
than our moods. The power to make and keep commitments to ourselves is the
essence of developing the basic habits of effectiveness.
Proactivity: The 30-Day Test
We don't have to go through the death camp experience to recognize and
develop our own proactivity. It is in the ordinary events of every day that we
develop the proactive capacity to handle the extraordinary pressures of life. It's
how we make and keep commitments, how we handle a traffic jam, how we
respond to an irate customer or a disobedient child. It's how we view our problems
and where we focus our energies. It's the language we use. I would challenge you
to test the principle of proactivity for 30 days. Simply try it and see what happens.
For 30 days work only in your Circle of Influence. Make small commitments and
keep them. Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution,
not part of the problem. Try it in your marriage, in your family, in your job. Don't
argue for other people's weaknesses. Don't argue for your own. When you make a
mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it -- immediately. Don't get into a
blaming, accusing mode. Work on things you have control over. Work on you. On
be.
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People Summary

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The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People Summary

  • 1.
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  • 4. • Salt Lake City, Utah, on October 24, 1932 • He was an American educator, business consultant, motivational speaker and author of the bestselling book. • B.S. in Business Administration from the University of Utah in Salt Lake City, • M.B.A. in Business Administration from Harvard University • Doctorate from Brigham Young University STEPHEN RICHARDS COVEY
  • 5. STEPHEN RICHARDS COVEY His most popular book was The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. which has sold more than 25 million copies in 40 languages throughout the world.
  • 6. Covey’s Milestones • In 2002, Forbes named The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People one of the top 10 most influential management books ever. • Authored Principle-Centered Leadership and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, with sales exceeding more than one million copies each. • Authored First Things First, with sales exceed more than two million copies • Authored The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, which was released in October 1997, and is the #1 best- selling hardcover book on family. • Authored The 8th Habit, with sales exceeding nearly a million copies.
  • 7. Covey’s Milestones • Covey received The National Fatherhood Award from the National Fatherhood Initiative. • Covey was named Speaker of the Year in 1999. • Covey received the International Man of Peace Award. • Covey received the International Entrepreneur of the Year Award. • Covey participated on the Board of Directors for the Points of Light Foundation. • Covey was co-founder and vice chairman of Franklin Covey. • Covey was awarded twelve honorary doctorate degrees.
  • 8. Stephen Richards Cove Stephen R. Covey passed away peacefully on Monday July 16, 2012 , at Eastern Idaho Regional Medical Center. His legacy to the world is Principle- Centered Leadership and his many contributions will live on through the principles he loved, taught and espoused.
  • 9. THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, was named the #1 Most Influential Business Book of the 20th Century, Which has sold more than 25 million copies worldwide in 40 languages since its first publication in 1989. The audio version became the first non- fiction audio-book in U.S. publishing history to sell more than one million copies.
  • 10. • The author - Stephen R Covey wanted to convey life changing ideas about being a more effective person in all areas of life, be it family, professional, spiritual or emotional and there by creating happiness and satisfaction, so that we can become more successful both personally and professionally The author puts across seven habits which will help us be more effective. THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE
  • 11. The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People
  • 12. Henry David Thoreau 1817-1862 PREAMBLE TO FIRST HABIT I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.
  • 13. • Self-Awareness is the ability to think about your very thought process • Self awareness: the most fundamental paradigm of effectiveness. • A person can develop self-paradigm and can appreciate paradigms of others. • These paradigms should be based on reality or on principles. PREAMBLE TO FIRST HABIT
  • 14. • Covey exemplifies image of a person as the image reflected by a crazy mirror. • This is because of a person viewing himself based on the biased opinions of others. • Projections ( biased opinions) disfigure the actual reflections THE SOCIAL MIRROR THE SOCIAL MIRROR Negative Projections like • You are never on time • You eat like a horse • You must be an artist • I cant believe you won • This is so simple? Why cant you understand Negative projections hurt the very ability of a human being to develop self awareness about his strengths
  • 15. WHAT IS YOUR LOCUS OF CONTROL? • I am the Master of my OWN fate ( Highly Internal) • I am a pawn to my fate ( Highly External) • This brings us to three important theories 1. Genetic Determinism 2. Psychic Determinism 3. Environmental Determinism • Three theories define human effectiveness • Each of these important theories are based on stimulus and response • These theories independently or in combination determine the nature of man
  • 16. 1. Genetic Determinism: Genes; traits from ancestors 2. Psychic Determinism: Parents upbringing, Childhood experience structures the character 3. Environmental Determinism: Environment ( surrounding people family /friends/colleagues) influences your situation
  • 18. WHAT IS PROACTIVE? Proactive is to step up and do something to solve a problem before it becomes an issue. It is to take steps to avoid the problem in the first place.
  • 19. HOW DO YOU FEEL ON DAYS LIKE THIS? Absolutely NO THAT’S WHY WE HAVE TO BE PROACTIVE . PROACTIVE IS THE MANTRA TO SUCCESS. TAKE AN UMBRELLA FOR THE RAINY DAY
  • 20. PROACTIVELY DEFINED Human beings are responsible for their own behavior. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We have the initiative and responsibility to make things happen. RESPONSIBILITY: “Response – ability” Ability to choose your response.
  • 21. CHARACTERISTICS OF PROACTIVE PEOPLE • Highly effective people take the initiative. They are proactive. • They do not impose limits on themselves that prevent them from acting. • They recognize that they have the freedom to determine the kind of character they will have. • They may not be able to control their circumstances, but they can decide how to make the best use of those circumstances.
  • 22. PROACTIVE VS. REACTIVE PROACTIVE PEOPLE  Do not Blame anyone or anything.  Behavior is a product of their conscious choice, based on values.  They carry their social weather with them. REACTIVE PEOPLE  Blame circumstances, conditions & conditioning.  Behavior is a product of their conditions, based on feelings.  If social weather is good, they feel good, if it is bad, they feel bad.
  • 23. Proactive vs Reactive •Having discussed the characteristics for both proactive and reactive individuals we can extend this discussion to effective leadership. We have the example of both proactive and reactive leaders. •Reactive leaders tend to lose focus. Proactive leaders never loose sight of challenges and forewarn their followers .
  • 24. • In flurry of words against opponents during several gatherings, the politicians have mistakenly damaged their cause. This time it was Pakistan Muslim League- Nawaz (PML-N) leader Shahbaz Sharif who said that he will eliminate electricity from the country. • Addressing a PML-N gathering, the PML-N leader said that he will eliminate the electricity from the country in two years. REACTIVE (EXAMPLE)
  • 25. • In a slip of tongue during a party gathering , the Pakistan Tehrik-i- Insaf Chief Imran Khan said that go and vote for lion, a symbol of PTI’s opponent Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz in the upcoming elections.
  • 26. • The whole world calls Jinnah a man of words PROACTIVE EXAMPLE
  • 27. • Zulifiqar Ali Bhutto was proactive. He was a charismatic leader • Real leaders are ordinary people with extra ordinary determination
  • 28. HOW TO BE PROACTIVE? • Change how you handle things. Make a choice to be positive and focus on those things that YOU can change. • Make a positive difference in your family, your class, your school and the world!
  • 30. SELF AWARENESS TEST 1. How Proactive am I? The degree to which I take initiative to improve my current circumstances or create new ones. 2. Develop a Personal Mission Statement Develop a Philosophy or creed What you want to achieve with your beliefs and values 3. Develop Goals based on time periods Short term Intermediate Long term
  • 31. HABIT ONE: BE PROACTIVE Individuals are responsible for their own choices and have the freedom to choose.  “I am responsible for my behavior and the choices I make”  “I can expand my personal freedom and influence through being proactive” Key Processes  Recognize reactive tendencies & develop proactive responses  Increase Circle of Influence
  • 32. REACTIVE VS. PROACTIVE BEHAVIOR Reactive: Allow outside influences control responses Proactive: Use space between stimulus and response to make choices which best apply values Stimulus Response ResponseStimulus Space for freedom to choose according to values
  • 33. Act or be acted upon • The difference between people who exercise initiative and those who don’t • Development of seven habits • Development of proactive muscles • Each habit puts the responsibility on you to act • If you wait to be acted upon, you will be acted upon
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  • 35.
  • 36.
  • 37. Reactive language There’s nothing I can do There is just the way I am They won’t allow that I have to do that I can’t
  • 38. Proactive language Let’s look at our alternatives I can choose a different approach I can create an effective presentation I will choose an appropriate response I choose
  • 39. • A serious problem with reactive language • Self full-filling prophecy • People become reinforced • They feel increasingly victimized and out of control • They blame outside forces- other people , circumstances
  • 40. • Proactive people make love a verb • Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make • If you are a parent, look at the love you have for your children you sacrificed for • Proactive people subordinate feelings to values
  • 41. ANOTHER WAY TO BECOME MORE SELF-AWARE REGARDING OUR OWN DEGREE OF PROACTIVITY IS TO LOOK AT WHERE WE FOCUS OUR TIME AND ENERGY.
  • 43. A Circle of Concern encompasses the wide range of concerns we have, such as our health, our children, problems at work, the amount of government borrowing, or the threat of war.
  • 44. As we look at those things within our Circle of Concern, it becomes apparent that there are some things over which we have no real control and others that we can do something about.
  • 45.
  • 46.
  • 47. PROACTIVE FOCUS: Proactive people focus on issues within their circle of influence. They work on things they can do something about. The nature of their energy in doing this is positive, enlarging and magnifying. They increase their Circle of Influence
  • 49. The reactive people focus on weakness of other people the problems in the environment . There focus results in blaming and accusing attitudes and reactive languages, and feelings of victimization .the negative energy flies in and like this they think that they little things about which they can do something about and gradually they decrease there circle of influence.
  • 50. Because of position, wealth, role, relationship there are some circumstances in which the circle influence is larger than the circle of concern this reflects self-inflicted emotional myopia.
  • 52. Expanding the circle of influence When we choose our response to a situation then this means that we powerfully influence our circumstances. Rather than becoming tensed about the situation we should find ways to correct situations. We should not focus on the weak points on which we don’t have control but we should focus on those points which are strong and on which we have influence like this we will be able to succeed and this all means that we are increasing our circle of influence.
  • 53. THE “HAVE” AND THE “BE’S” Have’s one way to determine which circle our concern is in is to distinguish between the have’s and the be's. The Circle of Concern is filled with the have's :- "I'll be happy when I have my house paid off." "If I had more obedient kids." "If I had my degree." "If I could just have more time to myself." Be’s The Circle of Influence is filled with the be's:-  I can be more patient  be wise  be loving. It's the character focus.
  • 54. Anytime we think the problem is "out there," that thought is the problem. We empower what's out there to control us. The change model is "outside -in" -- what's out there has to change before we can change. The proactive approach is to change from the Inside-Out: to be different, and by being different, to effect positive change in what's out there : -  I can be more resourceful  I can be more diligent  I can be more creative  I can be more cooperative
  • 55. It is so much easier to blame other people, conditioning, or conditions for our own stagnant situation. But we are responsible -- "response-able" -- to control our lives and to powerfully influence our circumstances by working on “be”. Situation: If I have a problem in my marriage, what do I really gain by continually confessing my wife's sins? By saying I'm not responsible, I make myself a powerless victim; I immobilize myself in a negative situation. If I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control -- myself. I can stop trying to shape up my wife and work on my own weaknesses. I can focus on being a great marriage partner, a source of unconditional love and support. Hopefully, my wife will feel the power of proactive example and respond in kind.
  • 56. There are so many ways to work in the Circle of Influence –  to be a better listener  to be a more loving marriage partner  to be a better student  to be a more cooperative  dedicated employee Sometimes the most proactive thing we can do is to be happy, just to genuinely smile. Happiness, like unhappiness, is a proactive choice. There are things, like the weather, that our Circle of Influence will never include. But as proactive people, we can carry our own physical or social weather with us. We can be happy and accept those things that at present we can't control, while we focus our efforts on the things that we can.
  • 57. THE OTHER END OF THE STICK Before we totally shift our life focus to our Circle of Influence, we need to consider two things in our Circle of Concern that merit deeper thought :-  consequences  mistakes.
  • 58. Consequences:- While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions. Consequences are governed by natural law. They are out in the Circle of Concern. We can decide to step in front of a fast- moving train, but we cannot decide what will happen when the train hits us. our behavior is governed by principles. Living in harmony with them brings positive consequences; violating them brings negative consequences. We are free to choose our response in any situation, but in doing so, we choose the attendant consequence. "When we pick up one end of the stick, we pick up the other."
  • 59. MISTAKES:- Undoubtedly, there have been times in each of our lives when we have picked up what we later felt was the wrong stick. Our choices have brought consequences we would rather have lived without. If we had the choice to make over again, we would make it differently. We call these choices mistakes, and they are the second thing that merits our deeper thought. Our response to any mistake affects the quality of the next moment. It is important to immediately admit and correct our mistakes so that they have no power over that next moment and we are empowered again.
  • 60. Making and Keeping Commitments At the very heart of our Circle of Influence is our ability to make and keep commitments and promises. The commitments we make to ourselves and to others, and our integrity to those commitments, is the essence and clearest manifestation of our proactivity. It is here that we find two ways to put ourselves in control of our lives immediately. We can make a promise -- and keep it. Or we can set a goal -- and work to achieve it. As we make and keep commitments, even small commitments, we begin to establish an inner integrity that gives us the awareness of self-control and the courage and strength to accept more of the responsibility for our own lives. By making and keeping promises to ourselves and others, little by little, our honor becomes greater than our moods. The power to make and keep commitments to ourselves is the essence of developing the basic habits of effectiveness.
  • 61. Proactivity: The 30-Day Test We don't have to go through the death camp experience to recognize and develop our own proactivity. It is in the ordinary events of every day that we develop the proactive capacity to handle the extraordinary pressures of life. It's how we make and keep commitments, how we handle a traffic jam, how we respond to an irate customer or a disobedient child. It's how we view our problems and where we focus our energies. It's the language we use. I would challenge you to test the principle of proactivity for 30 days. Simply try it and see what happens. For 30 days work only in your Circle of Influence. Make small commitments and keep them. Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Try it in your marriage, in your family, in your job. Don't argue for other people's weaknesses. Don't argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it -- immediately. Don't get into a blaming, accusing mode. Work on things you have control over. Work on you. On be.