This document is an excerpt from the journal Qualitative Inquiry that describes a black girl's experience converting to Catholicism and going through religious rituals like kneeling, anointing, and making the sign of the cross for the first time. The excerpt is written as a poem reflecting on feeling like an outsider in the church due to her race and struggling to understand the congregation's relationship with God. It describes participating in sacraments like confession and taking communion while feeling disconnected from the spiritual experiences of others in the church.

1. Qualitative Inquiry
http://qix.sagepub.com/
Brown Skin, Kneeling and Anointing to Brown Skin, Genuflecting
and "Sign of the Cross": A Black Girl's Experience With Religious
Conversion
Michele Battle-Fisher
Qualitative Inquiry published online 9 April 2009
DOI: 10.1177/1077800409334186
The online version of this article can be found at:
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2. Qualitative Inquiry OnlineFirst, published on April 9, 2009 as doi:10.1177/1077800409334186
Qualitative Inquiry
Volume XX Number X
Month XXXX xx-xx
Brown Skin, Kneeling © 2009 Sage Publications
10.1177/1077800409334186
http://qix.sagepub.com
and Anointing to Brown hosted at
http://online.sagepub.com
Skin, Genuflecting
and “Sign of the Cross”
A Black Girl’s Experience
With Religious Conversion
Michele Battle-Fisher
The Ohio State University, Columbus
Keywords: religiosity; race and culture; qualitative; reflexivity
“Sacramental Redemption (or why you can’t ignore the Blues)”
As amazing as grace, come praise His holy name.
Young Sister, you are late, but God is right on time.
I enter the vestibule with ivory-covered legs, newly Vaseline-greased elbows,
And my right hand’s second digit erect from my palm in silent apology.
Amidst the pulsating baptism, can’t you hear His voice calling?
As His messenger, my Grammy’s pristine voice coats the congregation.
As Mother Lamar nods in agreement: “He is my rock, my soul, and shield.”
Hallelujah! Testify with Sister Parker that “we’ve come to praise His name.”
How could you not oblige that Faith must not be questioned?
Brothers and Sisters, lift your souls from those hardened earthly pews,
With arms stretched to the sky or postured knees close to the anti-heaven.
In the choir loft, Pawpaw swayed with his crooked gait, always weighting
On his Left, finding his rest at the right hand of God.
As each 16th note evaporated into a Holy Ghost-filled crescendo,
He tasted the sweetest blues, like done birthed by Brother Dorsey.
Sing Brother Leonard! “It’s a highway to Heaven.”
Where two or three are gathered, we cannot all be wrong.
My buttocks were stone numb as each found beleaguered hands holding fast,
Restraining my impurity from jumping my pew and “finding the Holy Ghost.”
Author’s Note: Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Michele
Battle-Fisher, MPH, The Ohio State University, 344 East Main Street, Lancaster, OH 43130
740-681-1428, e-mail: Battle.6@osu.edu
1
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3. 2 Qualitative Inquiry
My God, I kept thinking, could be found in my solitude,
As the spirituals of old stirred the inner rafters of my spirit.
But then if my God could be found in my silent beatitude as well,
Then am I a charlatan? Dear Mother of Jesus, how could I know their God?
“O, Absolution”
Dear Heavenly Father, Penance is a Holy Sacrament.
Whether the sin, mortal or venial, I am in negotiations with the Holy See.
Father Ron begins: “What is the trouble, my daughter?”
Stained-glass seeped translucence veiled with the sweetness of incense
Becomes my familiar center. Holy light shrouds me.
Remittance begged. Grace received.
“Give thanks to the Lord for He is good.”
Holy rosaries and “Our Fathers.”
Must hurry for Sister Mary Catherine behind me
Has rubbed the countenance off St. Jude.
Perfection is never achieved. Lord, hear my prayer.
Thank God for liturgy.
I am your child.
Absalom. Amen.
Michele Battle-Fisher is presently pursuing a Doctorate in Public Health from the Ohio
State University. Her intellectual pursuits include health promotion, health communication,
bioethics and medical humanities.
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