This document discusses the "axenroos" model, which describes six basic modes of relating to others: withholding, confronting, accepting, resisting, offering, and letting go. These modes can combine with six different relationship stakes - presence, person, goods, services, directives, and information - to form 36 possible "axen" or ways of interacting. The axenroos model aims to provide insight into human interactions and how people's "axes" or relational potentials influence relationships. It stresses the importance of clear communication, mutual respect between individuals, and avoiding getting stuck in unhealthy or exaggerated axes.

1. Mia De Vleeschhouwer & Hendrik Debruyne
La Farga, Barcelona, 06.04.2013

2. Contents:
1.The model ‘axenroos’
2.Axenroos in the classroom

4. I’m in posession of…
I have ‘things in hand’
I’m not in posession of…
Things ‘come to me’

5.  6 basic modes
Withholding
keeping
Confronting Offering
(attacking) giving
Accepting
Resisting
asking
Letting go
undergoing

6. ‘Ax’: possibility to (re)act)
combination of:
 mode of relationship
 stake
 communication channel
‘Ax’= relational potention of every human being
Interactions: game of strenghts, power in the field of
human relationships
My power your power, my ax your ax (inter-
actional way of looking)

7. opposite
against alone together

8. conflict distance harmony

9.  In zone of harmony:
offering/giving accepting/asking
 In zone of distance:
 (with)holding letting go, undergoing
 In zone of conflict:
Confronting resisting

10.  In harmony and conflict axen we meet the other
person – a lot of contact
 In removal axen we meet ... ourselves – out of
contact

11.  When a person is ‘stuck’ in his ax
 When there is no more movement in the axen (in
the interaction)
 When a person goes ‘deep’ into the ax
(exaggeration)
 Skew interactions: giving/resisting,
confronting/undergoing (bullying)

12.  Giving: explaining, showing, taking care, presenting, offering, exposing, telling,
visiting…
 Accepting: listening, looking up to, admiring, following (rules), asking, accepting care,
asking for help, welcoming someone…
 (With)holding; waiting, taking time, thinking through, stepping backwards, meditating,
praying, collecting, saving money, keeping, shutting up…
 Letting go: giving up, losing, mourning, saying goodbye, forgiving, not being able,
fumbling, being distracted, not knowing, being ill…
 Confronting: critisizing, denouncing, correcting, testing, attacking, asking critical
questions…
 Resisting: not willing, limiting, refusing, rejecting, projecting

13. Game with the ball: what’s in it?
Six stakes can be in play:
Presence
Person
Goods
Services
Directives
Information

14.  Ax = mode x stake
 36 axen

15. 

16.  Lion – camel: directives, information
 Beaver – cat: goods, services
 Peackock – raccoon:presence, person
 Owl, turtle, hawk, capricorn: all 6 stakes

17.  Both sides have influence on the relationship
 (try to) communicate unambigious, be clear
 Every person is different
 Relational equivalency (not equal but equivalent)
 Be aware of the effect you have on other persons
 Mutual respect
 Every ax has its own value
 Every ax can be taken as well in a healthy as in a
pathological way (to deep/exaggerated)