- Ryan has become a toddler who enjoys toddler activities like trying to fit shapes in holes and refusing potty training. - Timmy's grades were falling until he got glasses and chose a Harry Potter-esque pair. - Amy has discovered that boys are interesting, though her current crush isn't ideal due to negative chemistry and resemblance to her father.

1. Hi, everybody! Here’s a new chapter for a new year. I hope your year is a healthy, happy,
and prosperous one. With much cat-cuddling, if that’s the kind of thing you enjoy. Now
let’s rejoin our story… Already in Progress…

2. At the Miller household, where we begin our tour, Ryan has become a toddler. He spends
his time doing toddler-type things, like trying valiantly to put the triangular peg in the
square hole and refusing to be potty trained.

3. Timmy’s grades kept falling, much to the poor little guy’s distress. It turns out he needed
glasses, and he chose the ones that made him look like Harry Potter. Well, like Harry
Potter would look if he was blonde and had a chicken somewhere in his ancestry.

4. Amy has discovered the fact that boys are pretty interesting. Ricky Cormier here isn’t
exactly boyfriend material (negative chemistry, plus he looks too much like one of her
dads), but Amy is definitely starting to think along those lines.

5. And much to his bemusement, girls have discovered Tyrone.
CARYL: Who was that, Tyger?
TYRONE: Jessica from school. She wanted to know if I wanted to hang out with her.
CARYL: What did you say?
TYRONE: No, of course. Why do all these girls keep calling and asking me out?
CARYL: …Tyger, have you looked in a mirror lately?
TYRONE: Yes, and I look like a pizza! (sourly) They must be making fun of me.
CARYL: I don’t think they’re making fun of you, Ty.

6. GIRL WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE NAMED TARA ALLISON (dejected): Thanks
for inviting me over, Amy. It was really nice of you to offer to introduce me to Tyrone.
AMY: No problem. Sorry he was so rude. He gets a little weird about girls right now.
TARA ALLISON (MAYBE): Does he like boys, maybe?
AMY: I don’t think he likes anybody, honestly. But he’s an idiot for not paying attention
to you.
COULD-BE-TARA-ALLISON (perking up a little): Really?
AMY: Really. And I know a guy in shop class who wants to meet you, if you’re
interested.
‘Tis true. Tyrone has no gender preference, but get lots of Admires from both sexes. I
don’t think I’ll force the issue this time – I’ll let him figure out who he likes all on his
own. Stay tuned.

7. Robin’s house is getting a new addition. Or rather…
ROBIN: Why are you trying to hand me the baby? Just put him in the crib. I have to
make the bed.
Hand you the baby? Uh-oh.

8. ROBIN: Woo! Twins! This is amazing!
No no no – this is awful! I didn’t feed you guys cheesecake! I have too many kids in this
‘hood already. Do you hear me? Too many!
YVETTE: Isn’t it wonderful? Let’s have ten of these.
ROBIN: Ten? Sure, great idea!
(groans) Just shoot me now.

9. Robin is holding Cillian here. Or possibly Mifune. They look exactly alike at this stage.
The slightly older twin is Mifune, named for Japanese actor Toshiro Mifune. (There
should be a little carat-thingy over the second “O” in “Toshiro,” but my keyboard can’t
handle it. Hence “Mifune.”) Toshiro Mifune appeared in sixteen films by director Akira
Kurosawa, including The Seven Samurai, Rashomon, and Yojimbo, all of which I highly
recommend.
Cillian is the younger twin, named for Irish actor Cillian Murphy. Cillian Murphy has
appeared in Breakfast on Pluto and the two most recent Batman films. (Plus some other
stuff I haven’t seen.) He’s pretty easy on the eyes, but he’d look even better if he ate a
hamburger every once in a while.

10. Gerard officially grew up during his mother’s labor, so naturally there are no pictures of
his age transition. He’s mostly okay with his little brothers.
GERARD: Mommy, Cillian smells funny. I think he’s broken. Can we get a refund?
YVETTE: No, hon, babies are sold as is.
GERARD: If you couldn’t get a good warranty, then you shouldn’t have gotten a baby.
Even if they were two for one. Peeee-yew!
Well, I did say “mostly.”

11. Now, when it comes to new babies, Cal and Elle win the “Worst Parents of the Year”
award, hands down. They want more kids, but like heck I’m letting them have any. Cal’s
LTW is to have three kids graduate from college, but if he can’t even be bothered to
change the one that he has already, that’s just not going to happen.

12. Eileen is just lucky that Great-Uncle Colin is willing to step up. Note that she has to be
bathed rather than simply changed. The official mayoral mansion was not designed for
people with little babies, that’s for sure.

13. Amy moved home right after college, and wasted no time in throwing a wedding party.
Or in planning one.
Perry Standin became Perry Littledragon at night, with inadequate lighting, in front of the
(in use) swingset, with half the guests not even paying attention, and half of the ones who
were paying attention dressed inappropriately.
Not that he cared.

14. ANDREW: So, Opal, what do you say we help the kids make this a real Roof Raiser?
OPAL: Mmm… I like the way you think. But what about the guests?
ANDREW: Aw, the kids’ll take care of them. Quick, this way before anybody notices.
Meanwhile…

15. AMETHYST: So, Perry, what do you say to making this party a Roof Raiser?
PERRY: Good idea. But, uh, what about the guests?
AMETHYST: Aw, Mom and Dad will take care of them. Come on, I don’t want this new
negligee to go to waste.
But even with nobody taking care of the guests, the party was still a Roof Raiser. Go
figure.

16. And Amy was left with a little, shall we say, party favor.
AMETHYST: Perry? Did you hear a lullaby last night?
PERRY: Yeah. Didn’t you?
AMETHYST: I was kind of concentrating on other things. *harrrrukkkk* Oh, Esme,
that’s going to be a nightmare to clean up…
PERRY: Don’t clean the toilet! I want to do it!
(Perry has ten Neat points.)

17. Perry is thrilled about becoming a father, and is pampering Amy no end.
AMETHYST: Oooh, that feels good. Thanks, Perry.
PERRY: Anything for you. What else can I get you? Lemonade? Grilled cheese
sandwich? I could run you a bubble bath…
AMETHYST: (laughing) Perry, I’m fine! I’m just going to sit down and read for a bit.
PERRY: I know – a foot rub! How about a foot rub while you read?
OPAL: If she doesn’t want a foot rub, Perry, I’ll take one.
PERRY (to Opal): Nope. Not pregnant.
Yes, the outfit shows more skin than Perry would choose for himself. Amy likes it. ‘Nuff
said.

18. As you can see, the Coudercs are still enjoying the finest in lawn living. Why why why
did I think it was a good idea to do a middle-of-nowhere building challenge with a house
design that calls for foundation? They have a grant total of one complete room, plus a
little outhouse off in the corner of the lot.

19. And just because I thought it was cute: Like father…

20. …like son.

21. Ruth is now a toddler. She’s a nice blend of her parents. And I think she looks a bit like
Hunter, even though Aren was adopted.

22. Daddy spends a lot of time playing with his daughter. Parallel play, of course – that’s
what toddlers usually engage in. Ruth is quite happy to provide musical accompaniment
for her father’s couch-jumping sessions – or for anything else, really. If it involves
banging a xylophone, she’s happy.

23. Mommy, meanwhile, works at keeping the friend count up.
CARYL: So you’ve never wanted to get engaged, even?
VALERIE (shudders): Esme, no!
CARYL: But you’re okay with living with him and having a child with him?
VALERIE: We aren’t all Strict Family Values, you know.

24. ROBI: Morning, hon. (yawn) I had the weirdest dream last night.
ROSALIE: Yeah? What was that?

25. ROBI (V.O.): I dreamt that you were abducted by aliens. I ran outside, but you were
already gone.
ROSALIE (V.O): Oh, that.
ROBI (V.O.): I tried to call them back, to ask them to take me instead, but they were
already gone. It was horrible. And what do you mean, “Oh, that”?

26. ROSALIE (V.O): I was abducted by aliens last night. It was pretty cool, actually. The
planet looks a lot different when you’re that high up. And they give you free peanuts. But
their curbside dropoff service does leave something to be desired.
ROBI (V.O.): Free peanuts, too? You don’t even get that on airlines anymore! (sulkily) It
is so not fair that you got abducted and I didn’t.

27. Three years! THREE YEARS! Three bloody years I’ve been sending out my fertile male
Sims to stargaze each and every night! Four, five, ten times a night I tell them to stargaze,
whether or not they would appreciate being abducted, whether or not they can afford
another baby, whether or not I like them enough to perpetuate their genes! Three years,
and who gets abducted? A girl! Useless! Useless! Aaaaargh! (throws minor tantrum)
(clears throat, smoothes hair, attempts to pretend nothing happened) Yes, well. Let’s go
check in Rosie’s sister, conceived via a Boolprop abduction, shall we?

28. Oh me. Cassie, must you smustle in your nightie?
CASSIE: Hey, I qualify for an AARP discount now. I can smustle whenever, wherever,
and wearing whatever I want.
Oookay. How’s the family?
CASSIE: Oh, we’re great. Bertram has a new friend. Tell her, Bertie.

29. BERTRAM (V.O.): His name’s Timmy Millew. I met him at my fwiend Sawah Jane’s
house. He’s weally smawt. We tawk about aww kinds of stuff.
CASSIE (V.O.): Like what, honey?
BERTRAM (V.O.): Like, like monstews. Like Bigfoots and wewewowves and stuff. And
wobots. His cousin knows evewything about wobots and caws.
He sounds like a good guy to hang out with, then.
CASSIE (V.O.): She says it sounds like you like hanging out with him.
BERTRAM (V.O.): Yeah, I do. (reflectively) I think I’m going to mawwy him when I
gwow up.

30. CASSIE (V.O.) (amused): Him too? You told me yesterday you were going to marry
Sarah Jane. And the day before that it was the mailman and the papergirl, both. And I
seem to recall you saying that you were going to marry your teacher, too. So which is it?
BERTRAM (V.O.) (confidently): Aww of them. I’m going to mawwy all of them and
we’we going to wiv in a gweat big house and have lots and lots of pawties.
CASSIE (V.O.) (affectionately tolerant): Good luck with that, kiddo.
I’m going to have to keep an eye on this one, aren’t I?

31. Sarah Jane is doing very nicely. She has harvested her very first crop of Tasty tomatoes,
which she grew with no help from her parents.

32. She has also caught her very first fish. It’s a catfish, I think, and she caught it without
catching any boots first. Very talented with natural things, our Sarah Jane.

33. Sarah Jane has made firm friends with both Bertie and Timmy. She was very proud of
being able to serve them grilled cheese sandwiches made with her very own tomatoes
when they came over on the weekend for a day of water balloon fights, pillow fights, tag,
and fishing.
Okay, technically Jon served the food, since Sarah Jane isn’t allowed to use the stove yet.
But let’s not quibble.

34. No matter who served the food, though, it was a fun day. In spite of some worries.
TIMOTHY: Sarah Jane? You like me better, right?
SARAH JANE: Better?
TIMOTHY: Better than Bertie?
SARAH JANE: You’re both my friends. I like you the same.
TIMOTHY: Okay, you like us the same, but secretly you like me best, right?
SARAH JANE: I like you both exactly the same. Why do you want me to like you best?
TIMOTHY (mumbles): BecauseIlikeyoubest.
SARAH JANE: What?
TIMOTHY (loudly): Because I have a pillow and I’m going to hit you with it! (does so)
SARAH JANE: Aaaah! No fair! Oh wait – I have a pillow too! (hits Timmy)

35. This picture is included just in case you were wondering how Jon and Emmy were doing.
They’re still cute.

36. Around the corner, Jasper is pretty relieved about the baby.
JASPER: Hi there, little one! You’re going to come out and meet everyone soon, aren’t
you? Boy, will your mommy be happy to see you! And so will I!
JASMINE (laughing): And we’ll just need one more after this.
JASPER: What if it’s twins?
JASMINE: Oh, come on. There’s no way to know that. Anyway, even if it’s twins, we’ll
need to try again if one of them’s a boy.
JASPER: Why? What’s wrong with boys?
JASMINE: Nothing. But my heir needs to be a girl, and I want to have a choice.
(I found that rule set I was looking for! It’s The Nozomi’s Mafia Challenge. All heirs
have to be the same gender as the founder.)

37. JASPER: Mitch, please! You gotta help me – Jasmine’s set on two girls. I can’t go
through that again, I just can’t.
MITCH: I’d love to help, but Jasper – I’m a chef, not a fertility specialist or a deity.
JASPER: You can make cheesecake, right? Cheesecake causes twins.
MITCH: That’s an old wives’ tale.
JASPER: But it’s worth a shot!
MITCH: What if you get two boys?
JASPER: I’ll flatter esmeiolanthe real good between now and then, and maybe I’ll get
lucky. Come on, Mitch, please?

38. So Mitch agreed, although he didn’t actually think the cheesecake would do anything
other than taste delicious and add a few inches to everyone’s middle.

39. And what do you know? It actually worked.
Lucy, the elder by a few minutes, is the one with red hair and brown eyes. Anne is the
blue-eyed blonde. I was a bit surprised by the red hair, until I remembered that Mitch and
Opal are both redheads. At least I’ll be able to tell these twins apart.

40. And I would just like to point out that flattery always works on me. Well, flattery, and a
long run of boys. Eight boys this generation to five girls – and those five include Anne
and Lucy. Is the run of boys over? Join me next time and find out! (There will be Perry
and Amy offspring, I promise.)