The document discusses how love, marriage and breakups are portrayed in media compared to biblical perspectives. It notes that media often shows unrealistic ideals of romantic love and relationships. For example, it depicts marriage as something to endure rather than enjoy, and glorifies single life. Additionally, portrayals of extramarital sex are often exciting while marital sex is usually negative. This can influence viewers' expectations of relationships. The document questions how media portrayals conflict with biblical understandings and asks how Christians can promote more positive perspectives.

1. Men’s Weekend 2009 Love, marriage and break-up in the media Brothers in Arms Love, marriage & break-up in the media Talk 1

2. “ Imagine if you will, a flat territory that is deeply cut by a ravine or a canyon. On the one side of the ravine is the biblical world , and on the other side is the modern world . Between these two territories lies a deep gulf – two thousands years of changing culture. Evangelical people live in the biblical world , on one side of the divide. We believe the Bible, meditate on the Bible, and love the Bible. We are essentially biblical people . But we are not so comfortable in the modern world , on the other side of the divide Those who think themselves as liberal often make the opposite mistake. They live in the modern world . People listen to them because they seem to resonate with modernity, or post-modernity. But in reality they have jettisoned biblical revelation. They may be contemporary, but they are decidedly un-biblical. Their preaching lands squarely in contemporary reality .

3. … Evangelicals are biblical, but not contemporary, while liberals are contemporary but not biblical. We need ‘double listening’ Listening to the voice of God in Scripture, and listening to the voices of the modern world, with all their cries of anger, pain and despair…”

4. Media as agent of socialisation Socialisation is the process whereby individuals are made aware of the behaviour that others expect of them regarding norms and values

5. Total broadcast TV viewing (average UK) in Q3 of 2009 was 23.2 hours a week Total broadcast Radio listening (average UK) was 22.1 hours a week

6. Internet consumption in 2010 will average 32 hours per week Research shows that for some 18-24 year olds the PC is the only television screen To this generation, TV frequently means video delivered on demand, with one in seven 18-24 year olds now watching no live TV at all.

7. “ Their preaching lands squarely in contemporary reality ”

9. Love ... and the media

10. Clip 01 The Wedding Singer

11. Clip 02 Love Actually

12. Clip 02 When Harry Met Sally

13. “ To love someone, when there is no chance of that love ever thriving, that is romance.” Dawson's Creek

14. “ We should all be so lucky to have someone who will never let us go. The ultimate legacy is to leave behind someone who will love you forever.” Ally McBeal

18. “ Through movies and television I’ve become accustomed to seeing how mass media couples act and react to each other. They always know how to say the most unbelievably romantic thing at the right time. They also have some weird from of telepathy where they’re always thinking the same thing as the other person. These kinds of portrayal have made my own relationship almost impossible at times.” Jason, 21 year old student

24. “ The classic sitcom Cheers is one of my all-time favourites. Like Same and Diane I was in a rocky relationship, except ours wasn’t always peppered with great one-liners. Nevertheless, I thought that constant fighting was how an exciting couple communicated their intense feelings for each other, like in Cheers . Turns out constant fighting is part of relationships – dysfunctional ones! We broke up, but first we wasted a lot of time and energy trying to live up to what looked so exciting and romantic of television.” T Darren, 24

27. The study found that mass media images in television, movies, and advertisements affect or reinforce unrealistic ideals about romantic relationships . Furthermore, the study discovered that mass media images affect children's perceptions of romance. They noted that from watching media, children associated romance with excessive or grandiose expectations about relationships .

28. Mass media, specifically television images influence romantic partners to have negative perceptions about their own romantic relationships, possibly to the point of terminating their relationships .

29. Most people are aware that movies are fictional, yet movies still have an influence on our moods . Women, especially, wish their husbands were more like the romantic heroes in their favourite movies.

30. Clip 04 Pretty Woman

31. Glimpses of biblical truth At mealtime Boaz said to her, “Come over here. Have some bread and dip it in the wine vinegar.” When she sat down with the harvesters, he offered her some roasted grain. She ate all she wanted and had left some over. As she got up to glean, Boaz gave orders to his men, “Even if she gathers among the sheaves, don’t embarrass her. Rather, pull out some stalks for her from the bundles and leave them for her to pick up, and don’t rebuke her” Ruth 2: 14-16

32. Marriage ... and the media

33. Clip 05 Fawlty Towers

34. Clip 06 Sex In The City

37. Marriage is often portrayed by TV and magazines as something you endure rather than enjoy.

38. Shows like Friends glorify the single life and show marriage as a last resort. They become anti-marriage advertisements. - Marriage is a trap - Children are a nuisance - Live it up while you can

39. It’s predicted that a third of today’s teenagers will cohabit rather than ever marry. Only one in ten of their grandparents lived this way. Source: ONS/Guardian, 2007 Less than a fifth of cohabiting unions survive 5 years or more. Less than a tenth survive ten years or more. Source: Families in Britain, Cabinet Office Strategy Unit 2008 The number of children born outside marriage rose from 27.9% in 1990 to 42.9% in 2006. Source: Mintel, 2007 In 2006, 39% of UK weddings involved someone who was getting married for at least the second time. Source: ONS, 2008 The Civil Partnership Act came into force December 2005. Since then 18,000 civil partnerships have been formed. Almost all are in England and Wales; only 1% took place in Northern Ireland. Source: ONS, 2007

40. In the 1950s and '60s it used to be that you would never see married couples in bed together

41. ... when you turn the television on now you still never see married couples in bed together , but for entirely different reasons… ...You'll see teenagers in bed with prostitutes, men in bed with their mistresses, and teachers in bed with their students .... such practices appear on screen 2.7 times as often as marital sex does

42. Even children and teens who seldom watch TV can easily come across references to or depictions of abnormal sex, and suffer long-lasting effects on how they think and feel about sex and marriage. Washington Times , November 2008

43. Glimpses of biblical truth Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5: 25-28

44. Split-up ... and the media

45. In reality, today's marriages are more like the Hollywood stars' marriages, who play the heroes. Many in Hollywood marry out of infatuation , instead of love and end up in unhappy divorces. Instead of being prepared for the work, they give up and claim irreconcilable differences .

46. On TV sex within marriage is either a burden or nonexistent, while adultery and extramarital sex are exciting and positive experiences for the people involved. Across hundreds of hours of programming, references to non marital sex outnumbered references to marital sex by three to one There were twice as many references to adultery as to married sex. When references to marital sex did crop up, they were usually negative .

48. Clip 07 What Katie Did Next

50. Clip 08 Peter - The Next Chapter

51. Whilst attitudes to premarital sex have become more liberal; they have remained unchanged with regards to extramarital sex. 85% of people disapprove. The same percentage disapproved back in 1985 . Source: BSA 24th report, 2008