This lesson will: • Increase the awareness about the importance of marriage and how best to prepare for it. • Highlight the advantages of platonic, non-sexual love among brothers and sisters. • Point out that controlling sexual desires is good. • Clarify why love and marriage must go together. • Explain why cohabitation (sex without marriage) brings less satisfaction and greater risk.

1. 1
Chapter 6
Preparing for Marriage
Thislessonwill:
 Increase the awarenessaboutthe importance of marriage andhow bestto prepare forit.
 Highlightthe advantagesof platonic, non-sexuallove amongbrothersandsisters.
 Pointoutthat controllingsexualdesires isgood.
 Clarifywhylove andmarriage mustgo together.
 Explainwhycohabitation(sex withoutmarriage) bringslesssatisfactionandgreaterrisk.
No. Slide Narrative
1.
2. This presentation is called “Preparing for Marriage.” It is the third of
the three chapters dealing with Sibling Love.
3. To be successful at anything, you need to prepare.
 You prepare for tests.
 You prepare for an interview.
 You prepare for a career.
 Job training is preparation.
Then, how do you prepare for marriage?
Many people think that to be successful in marriage, the most
important factor is to have a good career, which means a well-
paying job. This is partially true.
4. Having a nice home (enough money) does not ensure a successful
marriage.
5. Good marriages need more than money. What is the best way to
prepare for having a successful marriage and family?

2. 2
No. Slide Narrative
6. There are two fundamental criteria:
[Click 2x]
1. Children’s Love  Live for others: Honor your parents.
[Click 2x]
2. Sibling Love  Sexual purity
This is the best preparation for a successful marriage.
[Click 2x]
3. Conjugal Love  Marital fidelity: Live for the sake of your
spouse.
7. In terms of maintaining purity,
[Click] It’s not, “No sex forever.”
[Click] It is… “Wait till Marriage.”
The question is “Why Wait?”
 All religions teach that sex before marriage is wrong.
 Sexual self-control, creates good character.
 Abstinence before marriage is the safest.
 Purity is the best preparation for being faithful in marriage.
8. Most people wish they had waited.
• 73% of 12-14 year olds who have had sex wished they had
waited.
• 90% of adults wished they had initiated sexual activity later
in their lives.
9. What are the consequences of sex before marriage?
• Lose Your Focus:
Focus should be on studies and career, not sex.
• Extremely Confusing:
Does your partner care more for you or for sexual
pleasure? Is it true or false love?
• Does Not Lead to Happiness
Will the rush of sexual pleasure last? Where is the
commitment?
• Less Prepared for Marriage
Marriage is a public commitment to love unconditionally.
Sex before marriage lacks the public commitment.
10. However, popular culture says,
“Just do it … but be safe. “
What does it mean to be “safe”?

3. 3
No. Slide Narrative
11. Before it was called “safe sex”, it was called “free sex.” But when
sex was taken outside of marriage and falsely labeled “free,” there
was a marked increase in sexual diseases, unwanted pregnancies
and the emotional trauma of broken hearts.
These problems were seen as medical or emotional, not moral
problems. Therefore, a false solution was given and “free sex” was
resold as “safe sex.” It meant, wear a condom and have your
partner’s consent.
12. But who is the safety really for? So-called “safe sex” is mostly
about self-protection. The focus is really to:
Safeguard “me.”
• No diseases
• No pregnancies
• No accusations
Let’s be honest, even with consent “safe sex” does not protect the
heart. To say, ‘I will not feel hurt or broken hearted when we split,’
is simply not true. Splitting up is a downer.
More to the point, how much does “safe sex” protect my family and
future family, my society and my nation?
13. The concept of “safe sex” gives a false, misdirected view of
morality where being “safe” is more important than being “married.”
Outside of marriage, sex is morally and ethically wrong. Why?
Remember, the willingness to sacrifice for others is “good.” In pre-
marital sex—however safe—there is no specifically stated, publicly
announced commitment to sacrifice for the other.
14. In marriage the willingness to sacrifice for each other is there. It is
upfront. Those are the marriage vows. So, instead of “safe sex”
why not “safest sex.” The safest form of sex is within the bonds of
marriage. Period. Everyone knows this.
Sex is the most powerful human emotion. It is meant to bind two
people together in an unbreakable bond of love. Then in the safety
of a loving two-parent family, couples conceive and raise children.
15. What if you’ve made a mistake?
The good news is that you can make a new start and still benefit
from a pure lifestyle. It is never too late to make a new beginning.
Don’t worry about the past. We are not here to accuse, judge or
blame.
16. Look at life through the windshield,
Not the rear-view mirror.

4. 4
No. Slide Narrative
17. Whatever your past…
[Click] You have a spotless future!
(If you need to talk to someone, then speak with a counselor,
religious leader, or your parents.)
18. Here is a question:
Do you want love or marriage?
The usual answer, especially from young people, is “love.” It is not
their fault entirely. Popular culture tells us all we need is love. It is
in our movies, our literature and our music.
19. The most successful and popular music group of all times was The
Beatles. Many of their songs incorporated the theme of love. The
theme song for the summer of love was, “All You Need is Love.”
Here is a short sound track.
[Click the speaker in the upper right-hand corner to start the music.]
20. You can sing along if you want.
21. So all you need is love? Really?
22. This is wrong. But why?
Marriage is also needed. Both are essential.
23. Love without marriage…
Creates chaos.
Without the protection of keeping sex within marriage, sex can be
anytime, anywhere with anyone.
24. It is like water with a damn.

5. 5
No. Slide Narrative
25. Marriage without love is…
Dry and lifeless!
26. It is like a damn without water.
27. What is the solution
28. Both. Yes, we need both love and marriage. They have different,
though complementary, purposes.
29. Marriage is public:
It builds and passes on a culture that honors purity and
fidelity.
Conjugal love is private:
It is the emotional glue that binds a husband and wife
together forever.
30. So we need both: love and marriage. In the 1950s there was an
American song about “Love and Marriage.”
You can sing along if you want.
[Click the speaker in the upper right-hand corner to start the music.]
31. Love and marriage, love and marriage
Go together like a horse and carriage
This I tell you, brother…
You can't have one without the other.
32. Love and marriage, love and marriage
Go together like a horse and carriage
Dad was told by mother
You can't have one,
You can't have none,
You can't have one without the other.
Love and Marriage

6. 6
No. Slide Narrative
33. Once again, Do you want love or marriage?
[Answer: Both!]
34. Thank you.
35. [Click] Usually the man will say to the girl,
[Click] “I love you …”
What should the girl do?
[Click] If this happens, the woman needs to reply to his 3-word
comment with a 6-word question,
[Click] “Do you want to get married?”
If he says “yes,” and you agree, then talk about it with both your
parents and start to plan your wedding. And wait till you married.
If he says anything else, like, “Don’t you trust me?” or, “Why are
you so serious?” then you will easily know his true motivation. He
wants pleasure without payment; sex without the commitment of
marriage. Don’t do it.
Practice this together as a class. Don’t single out any one person.
Have all the men say, “I love you.” They can repeat it with a louder
voice several times. Then draw out the word “LLLOOOVVVEEE” to
emphasize it.
Then have the women reply, “Do you want to get married?” They
too can repeat this. It doesn’t have to be loud or boastful. It simply
needs to be confident. Usually people will laugh, but they
(especially the women) will also learn how to handle unwanted
sexual advances.