Sunday Message by Rev Dr Ng Swee Ming on 15Nov2015 @ SSMC

4. CLASSROOM AVENGER PROFILE by FBI
• To try to identify potential shooters
• 2 shooters & 17 before that
Three Basic Ingredient to the Profile
 All White…
 Middle Class…
 Father is either absent, distant or non-
involved in the parenting process

5. Study – How family structure impact
a child’s environment to drugs,
alcohol, violence etc
Result:
 Child raised in a single parent
home where the mother is the
head are
 Children raised in a two parent
family, but with a fair to poor
relationship with the father
 Children raised in a two parent
family, but have a good to
excellent relationship with the
father
Chances of
using Drugs,
Alcohol or be
Violent:
30% more
68% more
6% less

6. Study – How family structure impact
a child’s environment to drugs,
alcohol, violence etc
Result:
 Child raised in a single parent
home where the mother is the
head are
 Children raised in a two parent
family, but with a fair to poor
relationship with the father
 Children raised in a two parent
family, but have a good to
excellent relationship with the
father
Chances of
using Drugs,
Alcohol or be
Violent:
30% more
68% more
6% less

7. THE EPISTLE OF PAUL TO THE COLOSSIANS

8. THE EPISTLE OF PAUL TO THE COLOSSIANS
And we pray this in order that
you may live a life worthy of the Lord
and may please him in every way:
bearing fruit in every good work,
growing in the knowledge of God.…

9. THE EPISTLE OF PAUL TO THE COLOSSIANS

10. General Outline of Colossians
I. Chp 1 : DOCTRINE
Christ's Supremacy & Sufficiency DECLARED
II. Chp 2 : DANGER
Christ's Supremacy & Sufficiency DEFENDED
III. Chps 3-4 : DUTY
Christ's Supremacy & Sufficiency DISPLAYED

11. Sermon 9
Properly ATTIRED for ETERNITY Col 3:12-17
We Are …
Chosen …
Holy (Set Apart) …
Loved …
THEREFORE
‘Put On’ the CHARACTER OF CHRIST
the PEACE OF CHRIST
the WORD OF CHRIST
the NAME OF CHRIST
and BE THANKFUL, BE GRATEFUL ….

12. Sermon 10
Col 3:18-4:1 Relationship is Key
3:18-19 : MARITAL RELATIONSHIP
3:20-21 : PARENTAL RELATIONSHIP
3:22-4:1 : SLAVES-MASTER RELATIONSHIP
(Employee-Employer Relationship)

13. Context
At that time… Place of WOMEN IN SOCIETY :
strongly patriarchal …
under man’s authority : father, husband…
whom she called "lord."
Expectation: to bear children, take care of the
family & run the household …(*exceptions)
a ‘thing’… can even be sold as a slave (Ex 21:7)
Jewish man’s prayer : “Blessed are you O God,
who has not made me a Gentile, a slave, and a
woman.

14. Context
At that time… Place of CHILDREN IN THE FAMILY:
Under the authority of parents esp the father
At birth : ‘thumbs up or down’…
Total obedience commanded & expected …
Children can be sold, sacrificed etc …
Jewish laws … stoning for …
dishonoring parents (Deut 27:16)
disobeying parents (Deut 21:18-21)
cursing parents (Exo 21:17)
‘children’ : Gk ‘tekna’ includes youths, teenagers…

15. At that time… SLAVES IN THE COMMUNITY:
50% of popn. – ? 60 million…
‘conquered’ people….
educated, intelligent & capable …
considered a ‘possession’ with no rights…
could be killed, sold, discarded …
very, very low social position ….
the Christian Faith found a ready audience
early Church ‘majority slaves’ …
Colossae Church ?? mainly slaves …
Eg Onesimus & Philemon…
Context

16. Col 3:18-19 Relationship is Key
3:18-19 Marital Relationship
v18 Wives, submit to your husbands,
as is fitting in the Lord.
Eph 5:22-24, 33 Wives, submit to your
husbands as to the Lord… as the church
submits to Christ, so also wives should
submit to their husbands in everything …
the wife must respect her husband.
1 Peter 3:1 Wives, in the same way be
submissive to your husbands…

17. Col 3:18-19 Relationship is Key
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Wife - SUBMIT to Your HUSBAND….
 3 times …
 Submit ≠ Obey …
≠ Inferiority …
 Submit: Gk military term – ‘to arrange one’s self
under a delegated authority.’
Needed for proper order & function…
Q: Any issue with applying Eph 5:21 ?
‘Submit to one another’ out of reverence for
Christ….

18. 18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
 Conditional…
 “as is fitting in the Lord”
 “as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.”
 Submit only in what the Lord will approve…
not a ‘blank cheque’ for abuse…
 Submission is from the Lord
to the Lord
in the Lord
Q: How is your relationship with your husband?
Q: Are you happy in your marriage ?
* IF your marital relationship is good & you are
happy – SUBMISSION is not an issue
Col 3:18-19 Relationship is Key

20. Col 3:18-19 Relationship is Key
v19 Husbands, love your wives …
Eph 5:25-33
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the
church and gave himself up for her to make her
holy, cleansing her by the washing with water
through the word, and to present her to himself
as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or
any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
In this same way, husbands ought to love their
wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife
loves himself….

21. Col 3:18-19 Relationship is Key
v19 Husbands, love your wives …
Eph 5:25-33
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the
church and gave himself up for her to make her
holy, cleansing her by the washing with water
through the word, and to present her to himself
as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or
any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
In this same way, husbands ought to love their
wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife
loves himself….

22. Col 3:18-19 Relationship is Key
v19 Husbands, love your wives …
1 Peter 3:7
Husbands, in the same way
be considerate as you live with your wives, and
treat them with respect as the weaker partner
and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life,
so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

23. Col 3:18-19 Relationship is Key
v19 Husbands, love your wives …
1 Peter 3:7
Husbands, in the same way
be considerate as you live with your wives, and
treat them with respect as the weaker partner
and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life,
so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

24. Col 3:18-19 Relationship is Key
v19 Husbands, love your wives …
Husband : Gk ‘one who holds the house together.’
Called not only to LOVE but also to …
 exemplary,
 sacrificial,
 preparatory,
 teacher,
 thoughtful,
 respectful,
 joyful,
 fruitful …a

25. v19 Husbands, love your wives and …
do not be harsh with them…
do not be embittered against them…
o Harsh : make bitter, irritate, affliction, misery…
o Hebrew culture - anything poisonous eg plant or
water was called ‘bitter’ eg Exo 15, Num 5 …
Ref Heb 12:15 “… that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs
up and causes trouble, …
 Love our wife …
AND also ….
 Must treat with gentleness and respect …
Col 3:18-19 Relationship is Key

26. Col 3:18-19 Relationship is Key
19 Husbands,
love your wives and
do not be harsh with them…
• Love
 exemplary,
 sacrificial,
 preparatory,
 teacher,
 thoughtful,
 respectful,
 joyful,
 fruitful …
• No ‘bitter root’…
18 Wives,
submit to your
husbands,
as is fitting in
the Lord.
• Submit …
 Allow him to
lead …
• As is fitting in
the Lord …
PLUS

27. Col 3:20-21 Relationship is Key
v20 Children, obey your parents in everything,
for this pleases the Lord.
WHO : Children - Gk ‘tekna’ - include youths as well
WHAT : Obey parents…
WHEN : ‘in everything’…
WHY : ‘pleases the Lord’…
Eph 6:3 "that it may be well with you and
you may live long on the earth.”
WHAT IF – Disobey / Rebel ….
treat same as witchcraft, idolatry ….

28. Col 3:20-21 Relationship is Key
v21 Fathers, do not embitter your children,
or they will become discouraged.
 Father : Gk ‘pater’ – 413 x in the NT incld God
 Include ‘Parents’…
 Ref Heb 11:23 By faith Moses' parents (Gk
pater) hid him for three months after he was
born, because they saw he was no ordinary
child, and they were not afraid of the king's
edict.
 Do not allow bitterness to take root…

29. Col 3:20-21 Relationship is Key
v21 Fathers, do not embitter your children,
or they will become discouraged.
4 ways any parent can DISCOURAGE a child:
1. Ignore them : insecurity & resentment...
2. Indulge them : spoilt, demanding, prideful…
3. Insult them : low self-image or a bully…
4. Intimidate them: low self-esteem, timid …
BUT instead to Encourage them …
Q: How ?
– will share at the end

30. "I know that my father
loved me-
but he did not seem to
wish me to see it."
Luther's father was so
stern that all his days he
found it difficult to pray:
"Our Father."

31. "I know that my father
loved me-
but he did not seem to
wish me to see it."
Luther's father was so
stern that all his days he
found it difficult to pray:
"Our Father."

33. Col 3:22-4:1 Relationship is Key
22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and
do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win
their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence
for the Lord.
23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as
working for the Lord, not for men,
24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance
from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you
are serving.
25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong,
and there is no favoritism.
4:1 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and
fair, because you know that you also have a Master
in heaven.

34. Col 3:22-4:1 Relationship is Key
Col 3:22-4:1 Relationship betwn Slaves & Masters
• no slaves today !! ….
? modern day slavery…
• Our Work Environment :
EMPLOYEE – EMPLOYER RELATIONSHIP …
 Employee to work …
 Submissively … good & diligent
 Sincerely … best input & effort
 Spiritually … accountable ultimately to God
 Employers to be …
 Right … no exploitation …
 Fair … just in demands, pay & benefits
 Also Accountable ultimately to God
Q: What is the P&C Ratio ?

35. Praise to Criticism Ratio -
1:1 2:1 3:1 4:1 5:1 6:1 7:1 8:1 9:1 10:1 11:1
‘Team
Languishes’
Relationships
Breakdown
Creativity dies,
Productivity
falls
‘Team Flourishes’
Relationships Enhanced,
Creativity Thrives,
Productivity Rises
The ‘LOSADA ZONE’
‘LOSADAline’2.9013:1
Marcial Losada
The Losada Line

36. Praise to Criticism Ratio -
1:1 2:1 3:1 4:1 5:1 6:1 7:1 8:1 9:1 10:1 11:1
‘Team
Languishes’
Relationships
Breakdown
Creativity dies,
Productivity
falls
‘Team Flourishes’
Relationships Enhanced,
Creativity Thrives,
Productivity Rises
The ‘LOSADA ZONE’
‘LOSADAline’2.9013:1
Marcial Losada
The Losada Line

38. The 7 A’s Building Relationships That Transform
(How To Encourage Your Child)
1. AFFIRMATION : Sense of Authenticity
2. ACCEPTANCE : Sense of Security
3. APPRECIATION : Sense of Significance
4. AVAILABILITY : Sense of importance
5. AFFECTION : Sense of lovability
6. APPROACH their world : Sense that you are
interested in what they care about
7. ACCOUNTABILITY : Sense of Responsibility

40. BEHAVIOUR
VALUES
BELIEFS
RELATIONSHIPS

42. Col 3:22-4:1 Relationship is Key
RULES without RELATIONSHIPS
leads to REBELLION
TRUTH without RELATIONSHIPS
leads to REJECTION
DISCIPLINE without RELATIONSHIPS
leads to ANGER, BITTERNESS &
RESENTMENT

43. KIDS @ HIGH-RISK
10 years longitudinal study on youths at
high risk …
Studied those who DID NOT get involved…
• Result : 80% did not get involved because
there was ONE PERSON who took a
personal interest in their life….
40% said it was a TEACHER….

44. THE EPISTLE OF PAUL TO THE COLOSSIANS

45. THE EPISTLE OF PAUL TO THE COLOSSIANS
And we pray this in order that
you may live a life worthy of the Lord
and may please him in every way:
bearing fruit in every good work,
growing in the knowledge of God.…