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(1) Insight. I appreciate you final section on why Jesus used
parables and storytelling. I suggest moving this to the start of
your paper and developing your thesis from this. (2) Grammar
and style. You articulate your ideas clearly. (3) Texts. You do
well in your analyses of the texts from this class, both primary
(Mark and Matthew) and secondary (Powell). Be sure to link
these texts directly back to your thesis, which you will make
more specific in your final paper. What is key here is that you
are showing a good understanding of the class content here.
Three Improvements: (1) Thesis. Make your thesis more
specific. Your thesis should directly answer the questions you
pose at the end of your introduction. (2) Headings. What will
help both you and the reader to follow each part of your
argument and to see how each part fits into the whole of your
argument are headings. For each section, not only create
headings that say "Part I: Mark," but also have headings that
connect to your thesis and what Mark uniquely adds to it. It's a
good practice to sum up each section in a phrase, usually with
language linking back to your thesis and linking to Mark. You
then can use these summations to make your thesis more
concrete. (3) Roadmap. In your introduction, give your readers
a sense of the journey you will be taking them on. If you have
headings, these will help you to create this roadmap.

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