I think you’re off to a good start on your opening segment, but the purpose seems underdeveloped. The purpose of a memo is usually found in the opening paragraph and includes: · the purpose of the memo · the context and problem · the specific assignment or task With this in mind, let’s look at what you have: PURPOSE: Comparative Analysis of a Domestic Intelligence Agency for the United States This information does signal what the document is. If this is all your instructor is looking for, then this probably meets the requirement. However, the purpose is typically written as a complete sentence and is usually preceded by information that provides some background (context) of the issue. It looks like you might have actually placed the information for this section at the end of your BACKGROUND section: As such, the best alternative is to establish a domestic intelligence agency. As such, the report offers an analysis of various issues that are associated with instituting domestic intelligence agency. Also, it examines and analyzes organizations of other nations that have instituted democratic institutions. The best nations to learn from are the UK, India, as well as Australia. Furthermore, the examination will be used to determine whether the United States Intelligence reforms will mainly be centered on targeting the intelligence shortfalls. Moreover, it will also explore whether the establishment of the intelligence organization is a feasible idea to deal with the threats that are culminating in the present era caused by the terrorists. The BACKROUND section should only be for providing relevant historical information regarding the topic. Here’s a sample introduction for a memo: Due to extensive customer feedback, we at Chloe’s Cupcakes would like to demonstrate our commitment to making healthy choices by publishing nutrition information for all of our baked goods. Although our stores would not be required by law to provide the nutrition facts of our products, we agree that customers should have access to as much information as they desire before making a purchase. The purpose of this memo is to __________. The blue section states the issue. The green section narrows the focus. The yellow section signals the document’s purpose. Here is a link to more information on writing the parts of the business memo, including information on the opening segment and other segments. ( Development & Research Goals: Develop coherent paragraphs, points, and/or sections so that each is internally unified and functions as a part of your entire document or presentation. Tailor your communications to the audience. Provide sufficient support for your ideas Integrate material from research (if required) smoothly into your own content. ) Paragraph-Level Transitions Bobby, I also think your paper could benefit from stronger paragraph transitions. Transitions are bridges between what has been read and what is about to be read. Transitions help readers m ...

1. I think you’re off to a good start on your opening segment, but
the purpose seems underdeveloped. The purpose of a memo is
usually found in the opening paragraph and includes:
· the purpose of the memo
· the context and problem
· the specific assignment or task
With this in mind, let’s look at what you have:
PURPOSE: Comparative Analysis of a Domestic Intelligence
Agency for the United States
This information does signal what the document is. If this is all
your instructor is looking for, then this probably meets the
requirement.
However, the purpose is typically written as a complete
sentence and is usually preceded by information that provides
some background (context) of the issue. It looks like you might
have actually placed the information for this section at the end
of your BACKGROUND section:
As such, the best alternative is to establish a domestic
intelligence agency. As such, the report offers an analysis of
various issues that are associated with instituting domestic
intelligence agency.
Also, it examines and analyzes organizations of other nations
that have instituted democratic institutions. The best nations to
learn from are the UK, India, as well as Australia. Furthermore,
the examination will be used to determine whether the United
States Intelligence reforms will mainly be centered on targeting
the intelligence shortfalls. Moreover, it will also explore
whether the establishment of the intelligence organization is a
feasible idea to deal with the threats that are culminating in the
present era caused by the terrorists.

2. The BACKROUND section should only be for providing
relevant historical information regarding the topic.
Here’s a sample introduction for a memo:
Due to extensive customer feedback, we at Chloe’s Cupcakes
would like to demonstrate our commitment to making healthy
choices by publishing nutrition information for all of our baked
goods. Although our stores would not be required by law to
provide the nutrition facts of our products, we agree that
customers should have access to as much information as they
desire before making a purchase. The purpose of this memo is to
__________.
The blue section states the issue. The green section narrows the
focus. The yellow section signals the document’s purpose.
Here is a link to more information on writing the parts of the
business memo, including information on the opening segment
and other segments.
(
Development & Research
Goals:
Develop coherent paragraphs, points, and/or sections so that
each is internally unified and functions as a part of your entire
document or presentation.
Tailor your communications to the audience.
Provide sufficient support for your ideas
Integrate material from research (if required) smoothly into
your own content.
)
Paragraph-Level Transitions
Bobby, I also think your paper could benefit from stronger
paragraph transitions. Transitions are bridges between what has
been read and what is about to be read. Transitions help readers
move from sentence to sentence and paragraph to paragraph.
Paragraph-level transitions usually link the first sentence of a

3. new paragraph with the first sentence of the previous paragraph.
With this in mind, let’s look at two paragraphs from your draft:
There are specific criteria that can be applied to establish a
measure for a domestic intelligence agency (Treverton, 2008).
The organization partners with several countries to boost
governance and also to determine the best policy
recommendations that can enhance government reforms. For
instance, some of the criteria entail the subordination of
intelligence agencies to national laws, oversight, as well as
effective coordination of the intelligence tasks.
It is important to examine regions that have put in place similar
democratic agencies and threats. In this regard, nations such as
Australia and India have a geographic scope, which can assist in
determining the key factors that can be used to institute useful
domestic intelligence capability for the U.S (Treverton, 2008).
Moreover, the examinations are also beneficial since it will
assist in determining whether the current intelligence reform
policies are mainly geared to target the perceived intelligence
challenges. Also, it will help in providing additional policy
recommendations. Moreover, it will assist in determining
whether the establishment and implementation of a domestic
intelligence will be feasible and acceptable.
Above you have a topic sentence (gray) that seems a bit
disjointed from the previous paragraph. This can lend your
paper a “choppy” feel and disrupt the flow of your prose. To
correct this error, it sometimes helps to make a slight reference
to the topic of the previous paragraph (yellow). You might try
something like this:
Another important criterion is to examine regions that have put
in place similar democratic agencies and threats.
Also, Bobby, don’t forget to single-space your draft (with a
space in-between paragraphs). This will make it easier for your

4. reader to tell where one paragraph ends and where the next one
begins.
Here is a link to more information about transitions and how
they work.
Subject-Verb Agreement
Bobby, when writing your paper, watch out for errors in
subject-verb agreement. Subject-verb agreement deals with the
need for subjects and verbs in a sentence to agree in number.
This means that if the subject is singular, then the verb should
be singular. Alternatively, if the subject is plural, then the verb
should be plural.
Here’s an example from your draft of a subject and verb that do
not agree:
Also, the intelligence agency needs to deal with the threats that
is represented by the terror groups that mainly make use of the
relatively simple approaches to cause harm and inflict lows of
life and other damages.
Here you have a plural subject (threats) and a singular verb
phrase (is represented). For these to agree, the verb phrase must
be changed to its plural form:
Also, the intelligence agency needs to deal with the threats that
are represented by the terror groups that mainly make use of the
relatively simple approaches to cause harm and inflict lows of
life and other damages.
Be sure to proofread your entire draft to make sure all subjects
and verbs agree.
This web site contains tips on proofreading for and revising
errors with subject-verb agreement.

5. Pronoun-Antecedent Agreement
Bobby, it also looks like you could use some help with making
pronouns and antecedents agree. A pronoun is a word that takes
the place of a noun. Many pronouns have antecedents, nouns or
pronouns to which they refer. A noun and its antecedent agree
when they are both singular or both plural. Here’s an example
from your draft of a pronoun and antecedent that do not agree:
Moreover, the examinations are also beneficial since it will
assist in determining whether the current intelligence reform
policies are mainly geared to target the perceived intelligence
challenges.
Here you have a singular pronoun (it) and a plural antecedent
(examinations). For these to agree, the pronoun must be
changed to its plural form:
Moreover, the examinations are also beneficial since they will
assist in determining whether the current intelligence reform
policies are mainly geared to target the perceived intelligence
challenges.
Here’s another example to further illustrate the
pronoun/antecedent rule. Since an organization is a singular
noun, its pronoun should also be singular:
The NAACP is an organization. It is well known for its support
of African-Americans.
However, when discussing this organization in a plural form,
you would need to change the pronoun to match the antecedent:
The leaders of the NAACP are tireless activists. They continue
to fight for equality.
Be sure to proofread your draft for pronouns and antecedents

6. that do not agree.
Here is the link to a handout on pronoun-antecedent agreement.
Jennifer L. Naegele
Dr. Ken Zula
HAD - 504
March 4, 2020
Discussion Board 15
Assume that you are a recently hired department manager within
a sizeable health care provider organization. You came from a
small organization where you and other managers enjoyed a
cooperative working relationship with a two-person human
resources department. In your new position, you quickly became
dismayed at the adversarial relationship that seems to exist
between many department managers and most members of the
fifteen-person human resources department. You have heard
several other managers speak disparagingly of the HR
department, and in your first few contacts with HR you
encountered considerable defensiveness.
Explain how you might be able to go about establishing an
effective working relationship with human resources in the
prevailing environment.

7. References
Fallon Jr., L. Fleming, & McConnell, Charles R. (2019). Human
Resource Management in Health Care Principles and Practice.
Burlington, MA: Jones & Bartlett Learning
Running head: REASONS FOR SLOW RESPONSE TO H1N1
1
PAGE
5
REASONS FOR SLOW RESPONSE TO H1N1
Reasons for Slow Response to H1N1 Influenza and Lessons for
the Future
Name
Institution
Reasons for Slow Response to H1N1 Influenza and Lessons for
the Future
Introduction
Policy Makers, politicians, managers, among other top officials
of both governmental and non-governmental organizations play

8. an important role in dealing with disease outbreaks such as the
H1N1 flue. The outbreak of infectious diseases, specifically
require close attention from all the stakeholders to minimize the
effects on the population. However, the 2009/20 global H1N1
outbreak suggested that these stakeholders are ill prepared to
deal with such outbreaks and this calls for a review considering
the impacts emanating from such outbreaks (Sagy et al, 2018).
Lack of proper research, inadequate personnel, inadequate
resources, among others are the reasons behind slow response
given to H1N1 flu outbreaks in the past in the United States.
According to Short Kedzierska and van de Sandt (2018), the
rate at which the disease spreads also poses a great challenge
during response.
Thesis Statement
Numerous attempts have been made to enhance agencies’
response to contagious diseases in the United States. However,
the nature of response that has been witnessed in the past cases
of H1N1 outbreak has revealed a slow agency reaction to the
disease (Ungchusak, 2012). slow response is experienced even
as the disease impose devastating impact on the American
people every time there is an outbreak. According o Hoffman
and Silverberg (2018), a consolidated approach is necessary in
order to effectively respond to the outbreak of H1N1 virus. The
study examines the reasons behind the slow response that has
been experienced in the past and suggests ways to hasten the
process in future.
Research Strategy
The study will employ the use of secondary sources to prove
the fact that America has witnessed slow response to the
outbreak in H1N1 flu in the past. In addition, the reasons behind
this slow response will be highlighted based on the events that
took place during the past incidents. As a result, such incidents

9. will be used as the lessons to inform any future attempts to
respond to such events.
Bibliography
Hoffman, S.J. and Silverberg, S.L. (2018). Delays in Global
Disease Outbreak Responses:
Lessons from H1N1, Ebola, and Zika. PMC.
Sagy, I. et al. (2018). Lessons learned from the 2009–2010
H1N1 outbreak for the management
of the 2013 silent polio outbreak. BMC.
Short, K.R, Kedzierska, K. and van de Sandt, C.E. (2018). Back
to the Future: Lessons Learned
From the 1918 Influenza Pandemic. PMC.
Ungchusak, K. (2012). Lessons Learned from Influenza
A(H1N1)pdm09 Pandemic Response in
Thailand. PMC.