Emotional Intelligence

1. Emotional Intelligence

2. Emotional Intelligence (EI)
Defined
Ability to
recognize and
understand
emotions
Using this
awareness to
manage yourself
and relationships
with others

3. Johnny Mac – Emotionally
Intelligent?
http://youtu.be/C8Nyc9jzSDg

4. Aristotle says,
Anybody can become
angry – that is easy, but to be
angry with the right person
and to the right degree and at
the right time and for the right
purpose, and in the right way
– that is not within everybody’s
power and is not easy.

5. Science Behind EI – Brain
Pathways
Spinal Chord
(enters brain here)
Limbic System
(I feel here)
I think rationally
(way over here)
EQ affected by our
ability to form & keep
well-traveled
connections here

6. 4 Skills of Emotional
Intelligence
Self-Awareness Self-Management
Social Awareness
Relationship
Management
Emotional
Intelligence
WHAT I SEE WHAT I DO
PERSONAL
COMPETEN
CE
SOCIAL
COMPETEN
CE

7. EQ Quiz Instructions
 Read each question and select 1-5, based on
your immediate response to the item.
 1 = Strongly Disagree
 2 = Disagree
 3 = Neither Agree or Disagree
 4 = Agree
 5 = Strongly Agree

8. EQ Quiz Scoring
 Add up your score to determine where you
stand on Emotional Intelligence
 119 or higher = Above Average EI
 98 – 118 = Moderate EI
 97 or lower = Low EI

9. EQ vs. Job Title
Supervisor Manager Director Executive C-Suite
Often promote based on intellect instead of EQ

10. EI Starts with Self-Awareness
Self-Awareness
•Ability to accurately perceive
your own emotions
•Stay aware of your emotions
as they happen
•Keep on top of how you tend
to respond to specific
situations and people
The greatest of
faults is to be
conscious of none
Thomas Carlyle

11. Improving Self-Awareness
 Know Thyself
 See yourself for who you are (what do you think and
feel)
 Watch your emotions like a hawk (even physiological
signs)
 Track & backtrack your emotions in a difficult
conversation or meeting – learn your tendencies
in emotionally arousing situations
 Use paired sharing (peer or supervisor)
 Own your actions – take full responsibility for what
you say and do
http://youtu.be/1bYO-
mm_MvM

12. Use Awareness to Self-Manage
Self-Management
•Ability to use awareness of
your emotions to stay
flexible and positively direct
your behavior
•Managing your emotional
reactions to all situations
and people
The first and best
victory is to
conquer self
Plato

13. Emotional Triggers
What are the triggers that
make you want to blow
an emotional gasket?
http://youtu.be/mC_97F2Zn9k

14. Emotional Red Flags &
Breakdowns

15. Becoming Socially Aware
Social Awareness
•Ability to accurately pick
up on emotions in other
people
•Understand what is really
going on
•Understanding what other
people are thinking and
feeling even if you don’t
feel the same way
Resolve to be tender with the
young, compassionate with
the aged, sympathetic with the
striving and tolerant with the
weak and wrong. Sometime in
your life, you will have been all
of these.
Gautama Buddha
http://youtu.be/S2XvxDaIwCw

16. Social Awareness Requires
Empathy
Empathy is the ability to see the world
from another’s point of view and to
identify and understand another’s
situation, feelings and motives

17. Improving Social Awareness
 Spend extra time
observing, asking &
listening
 Maintain eye contact
 Give the speaker your
full attention
 Playback and
summarize
 Try on their shoes
 Suspend your judgment
 Read body language
 Decipher emotions in
speech tone

18. Use Awareness to Manage
Relationships
Relationship
Management
•Ability to use awareness of
your emotions and emotions
of others to manage
interactions successfully
•Ensure clear
communication and
effective handling of conflict
http://youtu.be/5SnSzo4AbRI
People aren’t either wicked or
noble. They’re like chef salads
with good things and bad
things chopped up and mixed
together in a vinaigrette of
confusion and conflict.
Lemony Snicket

19. Improving Relationship
Management
 Seek to build high quality, high trust
relationships
 Try to discover what role emotions are playing
in your interactions with others
 If you sense tension or other emotional
reactions in a person’s body language or
speech, ask questions to seek to understand
 Be quick to settle disputes, differences of
opinion and misunderstandings

20. What does EI have to do with
ECP?
Self-Management
•Ability to use awareness of your
emotions to stay flexible and
positively direct your behavior
•Managing your emotional reactions
to all situations and people
Social Awareness
•Ability to accurately pick up on
emotions in other people
•Understand what is really going on
•Understanding what other people
are thinking and feeling even if you
don’t feel the same way
Self-Awareness
•Ability to accurately perceive your
own emotions
•Stay aware of your emotions as they
happen
•Keep on top of how you tend to
respond to specific situations and
people
Relationship
Management
•Ability to use awareness of your
emotions and emotions of others to
manage interactions successfully
•Ensure clear communication and
effective handling of conflict
PERSONAL
COMPETEN
CE
SOCIAL
COMPETEN
CE
WHAT I SEE WHAT I DO

21. What does EI have to do with
ECP?
Individual & Organizational Performance

22. What does EI have to do with
ECP?
Organizational Engagement – Vital Signs
 Trust: People have a
sense of safety &
assurance to share and go
beyond their comfort zones
 Motivation: People feel
energized and committed
to doing more than the
minimum
 Change: Employees and
institutions are adaptable
and innovative
 Teamwork: People
collaborate and
communicate to take on
challenges
Fariselli, L., Freedman, J., & Ghini, M. (2013).
White Paper: Linking bottom line performance to
emotional intelligence and organizational climate.
Retrieved September 18, 2014 from 6seconds.org.

23. What does EI have to do with
ECP?
Stakeholder Engagement
CI Manageme
nt
Regulator
Contracto
rs
Execs Direct
Reports

24. Final Thoughts
If your emotional abilities aren’t in
hand, if you don’t have self-
awareness, if you are not able to
manage your distressing emotions, if
you can’t have empathy and have
effective relationships, than no matter
how smart you are, you are not going
to get very far.

25. EI Resources
 Websites
 Talentsmart.com
 Eiconsortium.org
 Eisource.com
 6seconds.org
 Books / Articles
 Goleman
 Emotional Intelligence (1995)
 Working with emotional intelligence (1998)
 Bradberry & Greaves: Emotional Intelligence Quick Book
 Anthony Mersino: Emotional Intelligence for Project
Managers
 Emily Sterrett: Managers’ Pocket Guide to Emotional
Intelligence