Nuts & Bolts: Editing Like a Pro

Editing Your Work Like a Pro
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• Suddenly
• Then
• Realize
• Stuff
• Thing
• It (if overused)
• Well
• Anyway
• Just
Hint: Use CTRL + F to search for these words in your
manuscript. How often do you use them? How often can you
strike them for a better choice?
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

His childhood health was delicate, forcing the boy to
be absent from the manual labor of his father’s farm.
Instead, he found a love of books, which was greatly
encouraged by his father, who had his own love of all
things literary. But this bond between father and son was
broken when young Drewry was thirteen years old. His
father died, and Drewry suddenly realized how it felt to be
weak and helpless.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• How could you rewrite the following paragraph?
It was a sunny day outside. It was not too hot and not too
cold. She/He loved days like this. It reminded her/him of the
beginnings of past school years and new possibilities. It got
colder as a cloud blocked the sun, but it still wasn’t so bad.
It was funny how some days had an optimism to them, no
matter what happened.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• Thinking to oneself
• It was rainy/sunny/etc. outside
• Still remains
• Few in number
• Final outcome
• To advance forward
• A.M. in the morning
• An anonymous stranger
• An armed gunman
• Attach together
• A bouquet of flowers
• Very unique
• Whether or not
• Surrounded on all sides
• Burning embers
• Past memories
• Serious danger
• Careful scrutiny
• Circle around
• Personal friend
• Closed fist
• Disappear from sight
• End result
• Fly through the air
• Frozen tundra
• Fuse together
• Kneel down
• Old proverb
• Sharp point
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• Smiling
• Laughing
• Frowning
• Winking
• Sighing
• Looking
• Glancing
• Gesturing
• Moving
• Turning
• Raising eyebrows
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

“What do you remember?” Addie asked, turning to Yuri,
distracting him from the glare he was giving Mitch.
“Our house. It was so small and old.” I remember the day
we left. It was sunny. Long shadows coming through the
windows of our newly emptied home. The mouse who lived in
our walls came out to say goodbye. “I remember arriving here
and being so excited,” he answered. Tree lined streets. Smiling
people. People who were so rich without realizing that they were.
Yuri smiled in spite of himself but then turned his eyes back to
Mitch.
Mitch was listening to him, no longer looking at his sister.
“Well, I’m glad you like it here,” Addie said, reading his
happier expression.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• We all have our natural
styles of writing, but we have
to be aware of our patterns
so that our writing structure
doesn’t hinder the power of
our stories.
• Long sentences can slow
down pacing, and short
sentences can speed it up.
• Too much of either can be
either too choppy or too
long-winded.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• Pick a long paragraph from the pages you brought.
• Examine the length of the sentences within. All long? All
short? Well-mixed?
• Rewrite this paragraph with only short, direct sentences.
• Rewrite this paragraph with only long, Thoreau-inspired
sentences.
• Where is the happy medium that fits this moment in your
plot?
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• He grabbed the tickets
out of her hand. He
glanced away when
she looked up at him.
He dug his toe into the
dust of the street. He
loved her. He wasn’t
going to lose her like
this.
• He grabbed the tickets
out of her hand. When
she looked up at him,
he glanced away,
digging his toe into the
dust of the street. He
loved her. Losing her
like this wasn’t an
option.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

For the first time that summer, Alex Brambleton
noticed his own reflection staring back at him, a bit taller
than last year, but the same nonetheless – the same light
brown hair hanging over his ears, sticking out from under
his old green baseball cap, the same blue eyes, and the
same chickenpox scar on his chin. Today it was a faded
blue Glenn Valley Fair t-shirt over shorts, not much different
from any other day or year.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• Just because a character’s
day starts with his or her
morning routine doesn’t
mean your chapter needs to
start there too. We all wake
up in the morning, put on our
clothes, brush our teeth, and
eat our breakfast.
Sometimes we stretch.
Sometimes we yawn. Do
you see how fascinating this
paragraph is? Wait, it’s not?
I’m glad you’re noticing,
because this is exactly my
point.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• Setting a mood or
building an amazing
metaphor? Awesome.
But don’t do it in way
that is cliché.
• Creating a killer twist
ending? Fabulous.
Just make sure it’s not
the lazy way out.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• Be careful with how much you allow your characters to
deliberate. Reading about thinking doesn’t make for an
interesting story.
(We’ll return to this idea later)
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• First person singular: Writing in the voice of
“I,” relating ideas from your own (or a
character’s own) perspective. This is the
most personal p.o.v., allowing a reader into
one’s world. Hint: First person narrators are
unable to share the thoughts of other people
or actions that occur when they aren’t
present, unless through other means of
external communication.
• First person plural: Writing in the voice of
“we,” relating ideas from a group or business,
speaking on behalf of multiple people. It’s as
personal as first person singular, but more
community-based.
• Second person: Writing directly to your
audience, utilizing “you.” This p.o.v. can be
powerful for a brand but can be challenging
in fiction (though do-able).
• Third person limited: Writing as an outsider
looking in, utilizing “he,” “she,” “it,” and “they”
but focusing on one character. The narrator
would know the thoughts going through the
protagonist’s head but would not know what
others are thinking. Third person limited
allows for intimacy and connection with a
character, which is more difficult in third
person omniscient (detailed below).
• Third person objective: Writing as an
outsider looking in, utilizing “he,” “she,” “it,”
and “they” but only sharing observable
information. This means not explicitly noting
anyone’s thoughts or intentions.
• Third person omniscient: Writing as an
outsider looking in, utilizing “he,” “she,” “it,”
and “they” but with everything known and
knowable. This means everyone’s thoughts,
history, and actions are able to be on the
page for your readers. However, while you
may have access to everything, that doesn’t
mean that you should tell your readers every
tiny detail that goes into your world.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

For the first time in his life, Alex was slightly
uncomfortable in the woods, as if they were not just his
anymore. A possessive part of his heart would have
cracked, except for an unspoken, unfounded trust that he
felt for the strange boy that stood before him. After the
moment had passed, he noticed that Moss was staring at
him.
“What?” he said softly, embarrassed.
“Just wondering what you were thinking, that’s all.
You seemed like you had a moment there,” Moss winked at
him, enjoying the confused expression on Alex’s face.
These woods were his, after all.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• Action
• Dialogue
• Description
• Thinking
• You should never have an extended section of just one of
the above.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• Example 1: He saw the
vulture fly over the
woods and circle back,
and he heard
movement in the brush
below. Johnny was still
and waited, smelling the
pine needs of the
loblollies and feeling the
wind with the cool hint
of coming rain.
• Example 2: The vulture
flew over the woods and
circled back, and
movement jarred the
leaves in the brush
below. Johnny was still
and waited, surrounded
by the smell of pine
needles from the tall
loblollies. The cool wind
hinting of rain blew on
his skin, giving him
goosebumps.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• Dialogue tags (he said, she said) are only necessary
when the reader is unsure who is speaking.
• Keeping simple is the best way to go. Using “said,”
“asked,” and similar words isn’t necessarily dull. They are
words that serve a purpose. When you get too colorful
with your tags, it distracts from the story.
• Dialogue is also a great place to differentiate between
your characters. We all speak in different ways and have
different accents. If similar quirks are repeated between
individuals, readers see the author’s personality instead
of the characters.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• Writers, you know what comes across a bit strange?
• What is it, Kris?
• Well, writers, have you ever read something where the
characters use each other’s names way too often?
• I don’t know what you mean, Kris.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• Specifics are important. Unique
details stand out. Don’t describe a
cliché scene everyone has seen so
many times before. Create a place
that is distinctive somehow. These
are the places that are
remembered.
• It’s hard to visualize “outside,” but if
you introduce your readers to the
splintered garden fence, the
singing chickadee with its black
hooded head, the wind with a hint
of springtime’s warmth, and the
smell of the compost pile for the
next season’s carrot planting, a
more complete picture is
presented.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• Yes, we often think about the visual when we think of
description, but writers shouldn’t be limited just to what
they can see. Sounds and smells can add rich depth to a
scene, as can the way something feels. Taste is a bit less
common, but it can be powerful in the right context.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• Choose a place
together (this building, a
familiar restaurant, a
familiar park or
landmark).
• Write 5 obvious traits of
that place.
• Write 10 specific traits
of that place.
• Put the specifics into
writing. (Character
optional)
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• Think about the scene
of eating your
breakfast this
morning.
• What are 5 obvious
traits of that scene?
• What are 10 specific
traits of that scene?
• Write it.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• There’s a difference
between “she’s angry,”
and “her hands
tightened into fists;
her fingernails
pressed so hard
against her palms that
blood surfaced to her
sun-burned skin.”
• Just like a movie, let your
readers take in the entire
scene. You cheat them when
you just briefly summarize.
Don’t just say the room was
small; make your reader feel
claustrophobic. Don’t say a
character is tired; show the
weight of his day on his
motions and his mind. Let your
reader live through the scenes
with your characters, being
made to feel what the
characters feel, seeing them
move through vividly created
places and react as people, not
as two-dimensional, flat beings.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• People are different. When you write about your
characters, allow them to be distinctive. All shouldn’t wink
at each other when they say something clever; they
shouldn’t all gesture with their hands, nor sigh heavily,
nor twirl their dark mustaches menacingly (okay, maybe
you weren’t using that last one for everyone). Think about
body language differences, speech patterns, and
movements between personalities. Everyone has their
own mannerisms, nervous ticks, excited habits, angry
habits, etc. This is a great way to tell more about your
characters, while showing their different emotions.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• Don’t introduce appearance through a reflection (cliché)
• No need to introduce every character with their eye, hair,
and skin color, as well as their every clothing choice.
• Little details interspersed amid dialogue/plot/setting can
often go further than long-winded paragraphs of
description.
• Think about what makes people unique.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

• Balancing dialogue, description, action, thought.
• Writing stronger movements/actions.
• Showing realizations.
• Striking/rewriting around words like “suddenly,” “then,”
“it,” and unnecessary redundancies.
• Varying sentence starts and length.
• Analyzing your p.o.v. consistency.
• Adding specificity into descriptions.
• Differentiating characters in actions, body language, and
dialogue.
• Overall review.
@KrisSpisak
#JRW15

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