Communications: Quest for Excellence

Oops!

I didn’t mean it to
come out that way!
(a.k.a “Understanding how attitude
enhances and aﬀects communication.”)

Scott
“Q”
Marcus

CRP,
www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com
707.442.6243
Facebook.com/ThisTimeIMeanIt
@ThisTimeIMeanIt

79%

Your Attitude

Below Average
1%

Pretty Good
69%

Average
19%
Extremely Upbeat
10%

2

52%

Co-Workers’

Pretty Good
49%

Extremely Poor
1%

Below Average
10%
Extremely Upbeat
3%

Average
36%

3
2

31%

Others’
Pretty Good
30%

Extremely Upbeat
1%

Below Average
12%
Average
57%

2
4

Your comments are welcomed: scottq@scottqmarcus.com • www.ThisTimeIMeantIt.com

Attitude
“Complex
interaction
between
feelings and
beliefs that
affect how we
react to our
environment.”
5


Honest Attitude Prayer
So far today, God, I've done
all right.
I haven't gossiped, haven't lost
my temper, haven't been
greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish,
over-indulgent, or told
anyone to mind their own
business and stay out of mine.
I'm really glad about that!…
6


Honest Attitude Prayer
But, in a few minutes,
God, I'm going to get out
of bed, and from then on
I'm probably going to need
a lot more help.

6


I
bet
living
in
a
nudist

colony
takes
all
the
fun
out

of
Halloween.
-‐Age
13

Examples of Attitude

7

The Zebra
Rule

8


The Basics

9


The Basics

< Activity!

Inspiration >

< Execution

Creation >

Logical Emotional
Physical Spiritual

9


The Basics

< Activity!

Inspiration >

< Execution

Creation >

Logical Emotional
Physical Spiritual

<<<<Change
9


Attitude

10


Attitude

Feelings

10

Beliefs


Attitude
Feelings

11


Attitude
Feelings

Experience
(Observations)

11


Attitude
Feelings

Experience Biology
(Observations)

11


Attitude
Feelings

Experience Biology
(Observations)

11

Response


Conflict
Cycle

12


Conflict
Cycle

12

CALM


Conflict
Cycle

CALM
Expectations

12


Conflict
Cycle

CALM
Expectations

Noise
12


Conflict
Cycle

CALM
Expectations

Resolution

Noise
12


Conflict
Cycle

CALM

Follow Up
Expectations
Resolution

Noise
12


Reasons for
Conflict

13


Reasons for
Conflict
•Shoulds
•Disqualifying
•Inappropriate Rescue
•Perfectionism
•Boundary Violation
•Selective Viewing

13


Support vs.
Saving

14


Support vs.
Saving
•
•
•

14

Can I help?
Want my help?
Do I want to help?


Conflict Styles

•firecracker
•cold shoulder
•backstabber

15

•memory lane
•social zinger
•last word


Dealing with
Others

•
•
•

16

Happy or Right?
Five Year Rule
Understand
intentions


The 3 Rs
•
•
•

17

Recognize
Reflect
Redirect


Think “LAST”

18


Think “LAST”

L
A
S
T

18


Think “LAST”

L isten
A pologize

(Acknowledge)

S olve
T hank

18


Most Powerful
Word

19


Most Powerful
Word

19

WOW


20


Fair Fighting
•
•

20

Begin with “I”
No Interruptions

•
•

No Denials
No Cross Complaints


Putting it all
Together

21


Putting it all
Together
ng
i

g
ng ng
g
n
n
i
io ing
io nin fyin est
t
t
ki
en rim ues ste lari
gg han
t
In . P
Q . Li . C
Su . T
1.
2
3.
4
5
6.
7

21


Communications: Quest for Excellence

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