The MANalyzer is designed for men who feels thinks that change must take place in their life. There are 14 chapters that he can use to analyze himself and then implement. The book can also be used by women to analyze the men in their lives also. A good gift as it is easy reading with 12 stories
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Manalyzer index and content 20072015
1.
2. Dedication
To my wife Maureen, my children Roanna and Maureece and my only granddaughter Raine
without whom this book would have been completed six months earlier. I had to stop so many
times to play, console and to take her for drives that sometimes I forgot that I was writing this
book.
4. Acknowledgement
This acknowledgement was probably the hardest thing that I had to do with respect to
completing this book. So many people have influenced my life and for that, I became a vessel
that carried the collective inspirations. I would like to thank all those people who have shared
their stories and given me the permission to use it.
Growing up with elderly accomplished men around me was exciting as I have been always
eager to learn new things. They would sit with me at the age of twelve and discuss life, politics,
mistakes and health issues. That to me was a gift greater than anything else; for it meant if
applied, I was not doomed to experience the mistakes us men make.
So briefly, I want to thank all the men and women who have influenced me with their
experiences.
12. Content Index
Dedication .................................................................................................................................... 2
Acknowledgement........................................................................................................................ 4
Preface.......................................................................................................................................... 5
Introduction ................................................................................................................................. 7
1 ACKNOWLEDGING THE CHANGE................................................................................ 9
1.1 What is change?............................................................................................................ 9
1.2 When do we change?.................................................................................................. 10
1.3 The Awareness of the Change.................................................................................... 11
1.3.1 Deciding the change ............................................................................................... 11
1.3.2 Involving Others..................................................................................................... 11
1.3.2.1 Feminine Input................................................................................................ 12
1.4 The Analysis of the change ........................................................................................ 14
1.5 Self-Concept ............................................................................................................... 15
1.5.1 Self-Ideal ................................................................................................................ 15
1.5.1.1 Social Comparisons ........................................................................................ 15
1.5.2 Self-Image .............................................................................................................. 16
1.5.3 Self-Esteem............................................................................................................. 16
2 EMOTIONAL .................................................................................................................... 18
2.1 Emotional Intelligence in Action................................................................................ 18
2.1.1 Increasing Emotional Intelligence.......................................................................... 18
3 MORAL CHARACTER..................................................................................................... 21
3.1 The Eight Pillars of Character .................................................................................... 21
3.2 Ethical Behaviour ....................................................................................................... 21
3.3 Unethical Behaviour................................................................................................... 22
3.3.1 The self in the regulation of behaviour................................................................... 22
3.3.2 Causes for dishonest behaviour .............................................................................. 23
3.3.3 Moral disengagement and immoral behaviour ....................................................... 24
4 INTELLECTUAL.............................................................................................................. 27
4.1 The Mechanic versus the Academic........................................................................... 28
4.2 Knowledge.................................................................................................................. 28
4.2.1 Innovating Knowledge Area................................................................................... 30
4.2.2 Nurturing & Growing Knowledge Area................................................................. 30
4.2.3 Expressive Knowledge Area .................................................................................. 31
4.2.4 Building & Organizing Knowledge Area............................................................... 32
4.2.5 Adventuring Knowledge Area................................................................................ 33
4.2.6 Healing & Teaching Knowledge Area ................................................................... 33
13. 4.2.7 Scientific Knowledge Area..................................................................................... 33
4.2.8 Administrative Knowledge Area............................................................................ 34
4.2.9 Guiding Knowledge Area....................................................................................... 34
4.3 Skills........................................................................................................................... 35
4.4 Attitude....................................................................................................................... 35
5 FINANCIAL ...................................................................................................................... 36
6 SPIRITUAL ....................................................................................................................... 38
6.1.1 Knowing how spirituality differs from religion. .................................................... 39
6.1.2 Religion and spirituality can blend beautifully....................................................... 39
6.1.3 The Atheist ............................................................................................................. 40
6.1.4 Observations ........................................................................................................... 40
6.1.5 Conclusion.............................................................................................................. 40
7 FAMILY............................................................................................................................. 41
7.1 As a Father.................................................................................................................. 41
7.1.1 As a Stepfather........................................................................................................ 42
7.1.2 As a Grand Father................................................................................................... 43
7.1.3 As a God Father...................................................................................................... 43
7.1.4 Fathering your daughter.......................................................................................... 44
7.1.5 Fathering your son.................................................................................................. 44
7.1.6 Abortion.................................................................................................................. 45
7.1.6.1 Definition........................................................................................................ 45
7.1.6.2 When Is Medical Abortion Used? .................................................................. 45
7.1.6.3 How the Medications Work............................................................................ 45
7.1.6.4 How Long Do Medical Abortions Take? ....................................................... 46
7.1.6.5 During and After a Medical Abortion ............................................................ 46
7.1.6.6 Possible Complications................................................................................... 47
7.1.6.7 Follow-Up Care .............................................................................................. 48
7.1.6.8 Anti-Abortion Propaganda About Medical Abortion..................................... 48
7.1.7 Conclusion.............................................................................................................. 48
7.1.7.1 Vasectomy ...................................................................................................... 49
7.1.7.2 Abstinence ...................................................................................................... 53
7.2 As a Son...................................................................................................................... 56
7.2.1 Mummy’s little boy ................................................................................................ 56
7.2.1.1 As a son-in-law............................................................................................... 58
7.3 As a Brother................................................................................................................ 58
7.3.1 As a Brother-in-Law............................................................................................... 58
7.4 As an Uncle ................................................................................................................ 58
7.4.1 How to be an awesome uncle ................................................................................. 59
7.5 As a Lover .................................................................................................................. 59
14. 7.6 As a Friend.................................................................................................................. 59
7.7 As an Employee and Colleague.................................................................................. 60
7.8 Losing your family ..................................................................................................... 62
8 PHYSICAL......................................................................................................................... 64
8.1 Physical Attractiveness............................................................................................... 64
8.2 Fashion........................................................................................................................ 65
8.2.1 Dress codes in effect............................................................................................... 65
8.2.1.1 White Tie ........................................................................................................ 66
8.2.1.2 Black Tie/Formal............................................................................................ 66
8.2.1.3 Lounge Suit..................................................................................................... 66
8.2.1.4 Cocktail........................................................................................................... 66
8.2.1.5 Business Attire................................................................................................ 66
8.2.1.6 Smart Casual................................................................................................... 67
8.2.1.7 Casual ............................................................................................................. 67
8.2.1.8 Not Accepted Attire........................................................................................ 67
9 MEDICAL.......................................................................................................................... 69
9.1.1 Hair ......................................................................................................................... 70
9.1.2 Facial Skin .............................................................................................................. 70
9.1.3 Eyes ........................................................................................................................ 70
9.1.4 Facial Hair .............................................................................................................. 71
9.1.5 Mouth...................................................................................................................... 71
9.1.5.1 Bad breath....................................................................................................... 71
9.1.5.2 White tongue................................................................................................... 74
9.1.5.3 Care of the teeth.............................................................................................. 74
9.1.5.4 Care of the lips................................................................................................ 76
9.1.6 Ear........................................................................................................................... 77
9.1.6.1 Cleaning your ears.......................................................................................... 78
9.1.6.2 Illness and Medications .................................................................................. 78
9.1.6.3 Noise............................................................................................................... 78
9.1.6.4 Safety Issues ................................................................................................... 79
9.1.6.5 General Care................................................................................................... 79
9.1.7 Muscles................................................................................................................... 80
9.1.7.1 Story A-Personal trainer ................................................................................. 82
9.1.8 Arms ....................................................................................................................... 82
9.1.9 Butt ......................................................................................................................... 83
9.1.10 Penis.................................................................................................................... 83
9.1.10.1 Impotence ....................................................................................................... 83
9.1.11 Body Odour ........................................................................................................ 84
9.1.11.1 What causes body odour?............................................................................... 84
9.1.11.2 How can I reduce body odor?......................................................................... 85
15. 9.1.11.3 How can I enhance body odour? .................................................................... 85
9.1.11.4 Story D-Male scent......................................................................................... 86
9.1.12 Heart ................................................................................................................... 87
9.1.12.1 Do not smoke or use tobacco.......................................................................... 88
9.1.12.2 Get regular health screenings ......................................................................... 88
9.1.12.3 Maintain a healthy weight .............................................................................. 89
9.1.12.4 Eat a heart-healthy diet................................................................................... 89
9.1.12.5 Exercise for 30 minutes .................................................................................. 89
9.1.13 Liver.................................................................................................................... 90
9.1.13.1 Symptoms of liver problems........................................................................... 90
9.1.13.2 Healthy Liver Tips.......................................................................................... 91
9.1.13.3 Liver Detoxification ....................................................................................... 91
9.1.13.3.1 Liver detoxification preparation................................................................ 92
9.1.14 Kidney ................................................................................................................ 93
9.1.14.1 Kidney failure facts ........................................................................................ 93
9.1.14.2 Kidney cleansing ............................................................................................ 94
9.1.15 Skin..................................................................................................................... 95
9.1.15.1 Skin Conditions .............................................................................................. 95
9.1.15.2 Skin Treatments.............................................................................................. 97
9.1.16 Intestines............................................................................................................. 98
9.1.16.1 Intestine Treatments ....................................................................................... 98
9.1.17 Male Nutrition .................................................................................................... 99
9.1.17.1.1 My diet plan............................................................................................... 99
9.1.17.2 Nutrition and behaviour................................................................................ 100
9.1.17.3 Carbohydrates............................................................................................... 106
9.1.17.4 Proteins ......................................................................................................... 106
9.1.17.5 Healthy Fats.................................................................................................. 106
9.1.17.6 Putting It All Together.................................................................................. 106
9.1.17.7 Testosterone boosting nutrition .................................................................... 107
9.1.17.8 Lowering your Estrogen levels..................................................................... 108
10 MENTAL.......................................................................................................................... 110
10.1.1 Mental Health Assessment ............................................................................... 110
10.1.2 Stress................................................................................................................. 111
10.1.2.1 How do you respond to stress?..................................................................... 112
10.1.2.2 Signs and symptoms of stress overload........................................................ 112
10.1.2.3 How much stress is too much? ..................................................................... 113
10.1.2.4 Causes of stress............................................................................................. 114
10.1.2.4.1 Common external causes of stress........................................................... 114
10.1.2.4.2 Common internal causes of stress ........................................................... 114
10.1.2.5 Dealing with stress and its symptoms........................................................... 114
16. 10.1.2.6 Learn how to manage stress.......................................................................... 114
10.1.2.6.1 Avoid unnecessary stress......................................................................... 115
10.1.2.6.2 Alter the situation .................................................................................... 115
10.1.2.6.3 Adapt to the stressor ................................................................................ 116
10.1.2.6.4 Accept the things you can’t change......................................................... 116
10.1.2.6.5 Make time for fun and relaxation............................................................ 117
10.1.2.6.6 Adopt a healthy lifestyle.......................................................................... 117
10.1.2.6.7 Learn how to relax................................................................................... 118
10.1.2.6.8 Learn quick stress relief........................................................................... 118
10.1.3 Dealing with disorders...................................................................................... 118
10.1.3.1 Schizothymic ................................................................................................ 118
10.1.3.1.1 Hyperesthetic........................................................................................... 118
10.1.3.1.2 Anesthetic................................................................................................ 119
10.1.3.2 Cyclothymic.................................................................................................. 120
10.1.3.2.1 Depressive ............................................................................................... 120
10.1.3.2.2 Hypomanic .............................................................................................. 120
11 SOCIAL............................................................................................................................ 122
11.1.1 Behaviours at Social gatherings ....................................................................... 122
11.1.1.1 Table Etiquette.............................................................................................. 123
11.1.1.1.1 Making Restaurant Reservations:............................................................ 123
11.1.1.1.2 How to use napkins: ................................................................................ 123
11.1.1.1.3 When to start eating................................................................................. 123
11.1.1.1.4 Using your silverware and dinnerware.................................................... 124
11.1.1.2 Eating:........................................................................................................... 124
11.1.1.3 Table Manners .............................................................................................. 125
11.1.1.4 An Observation............................................................................................. 126
11.1.1.5 Story B-Annoying Drunk ............................................................................. 128
11.1.2 Relationships .................................................................................................... 128
11.1.2.1 As a Friend and Lover .................................................................................. 131
11.1.2.2 Past Relationships......................................................................................... 132
11.1.2.3 The Pilot Fish................................................................................................ 134
11.1.2.4 Courtship ...................................................................................................... 134
11.1.2.5 Dating younger women ................................................................................ 136
11.1.2.5.1 Story E-Younger women......................................................................... 137
11.1.2.6 Dating older women ..................................................................................... 139
11.1.2.6.1 Reasons for dating older women ............................................................. 139
11.1.2.7 The Extramarital Relationship...................................................................... 142
11.1.2.7.1 Extramarital Relationship Exposed......................................................... 142
11.1.2.7.2 Justification of an Extramarital Relationship .......................................... 143
11.1.2.7.3 Open marriage ......................................................................................... 144
17. 11.1.2.8 Jealousy ........................................................................................................ 145
11.1.2.9 Jealous and Abusive ..................................................................................... 146
11.1.2.10 Domestic Violence ................................................................................... 147
11.1.2.11 The Abused Man ...................................................................................... 149
11.1.2.12 The Abused Woman ................................................................................. 151
11.1.2.13 Managing Breakups.................................................................................. 152
11.2 Acceptance............................................................................................................ 154
12 MANAGING FEARS ...................................................................................................... 155
12.1 Recognizing your fears......................................................................................... 155
12.2 Phobias.................................................................................................................. 155
12.2.1 Symptoms of Phobias ....................................................................................... 155
12.2.2 Types of Phobias .............................................................................................. 155
12.2.3 Treatments for Phobias..................................................................................... 157
12.2.3.1 Homophobia ................................................................................................. 157
12.2.3.2 SmallCockophobia........................................................................................ 158
12.2.3.3 UnsatisfyHerphobia...................................................................................... 158
12.2.4 Prostate Cancer................................................................................................. 159
12.2.4.1 Prostate Cancer Prevention........................................................................... 160
12.2.5 Sexually Transmitted Diseases......................................................................... 162
12.2.6 Handling Cowardice......................................................................................... 163
12.2.6.1 Signs of cowardice........................................................................................ 163
12.2.6.2 Advice on handling cowardice ..................................................................... 164
12.2.7 Premature Ejaculation....................................................................................... 164
12.2.7.1 Causes of Premature Ejaculation.................................................................. 164
12.2.7.2 Techniques in preventing.............................................................................. 165
12.2.7.2.1 The pelvic muscles-................................................................................. 165
12.2.7.2.2 Start-stop method..................................................................................... 165
12.2.7.2.3 Masturbation............................................................................................ 166
12.2.7.2.4 Sex positions............................................................................................ 167
12.2.7.2.5 Other treatments ...................................................................................... 167
13 MANAGING VICES ....................................................................................................... 169
13.1 Gambling .............................................................................................................. 169
13.1.1 Problem gambling,............................................................................................ 169
13.1.2 Curing gambling............................................................................................... 169
13.2 Alcoholism............................................................................................................ 170
13.2.1 Alcohol abuse ................................................................................................... 170
13.2.2 Alcohol dependence ......................................................................................... 171
13.2.3 Signs and Symptoms of Alcoholism ................................................................ 171
13.2.3.1 Early Signs of a Problem.............................................................................. 171
13.2.3.2 Symptoms of Alcohol Abuse........................................................................ 171
18. 13.2.3.3 Symptoms of Alcoholism ............................................................................. 172
13.2.3.4 Treatment and drugs ..................................................................................... 172
13.3 Pornography.......................................................................................................... 173
13.3.1 Some signs of porn addiction ........................................................................... 174
13.3.2 Attacking the addiction..................................................................................... 175
13.4 Masturbation......................................................................................................... 175
13.5 Infidelity ............................................................................................................... 177
13.5.1 Causes of Infidelity........................................................................................... 178
13.5.2 How to deal with Infidelity............................................................................... 178
13.5.3 Warning Signs of Infidelity.............................................................................. 179
13.6 Drug Abuse & Addiction...................................................................................... 179
13.6.1 Understanding drug use/abuse/addiction.......................................................... 180
13.6.2 Why do some drug users become addicted?..................................................... 180
13.6.3 Drug addiction and the brain ............................................................................ 180
13.6.4 How drug abuse and addiction can develop. .................................................... 181
13.6.5 Myths about Drug Abuse and Addiction.......................................................... 182
13.6.6 Signs, symptoms of drug abuse and addiction ................................................. 182
13.6.6.1 Signs and symptoms of drug abuse .............................................................. 182
13.6.6.2 Signs and symptoms of drug addiction......................................................... 183
13.6.7 Warning signs that you are abusing drugs........................................................ 183
13.6.7.1 Physical warning signs of drug abuse........................................................... 183
13.6.7.2 Behavioural signs of drug abuse................................................................... 184
13.6.7.3 Psychological warning signs of drug abuse.................................................. 184
13.6.8 Warning Signs of Commonly Abused Drugs................................................... 184
13.7 Paedophilia ........................................................................................................... 185
13.7.1 Characteristics of a Paedophile: ....................................................................... 185
13.7.2 Paedophilic preferences.................................................................................... 186
13.7.3 The Target Child:.............................................................................................. 186
13.7.4 Manipulation of the Innocent: .......................................................................... 186
13.7.5 Stockholm syndrome:....................................................................................... 187
13.7.5.1 Story C-Stockholm syndrome ...................................................................... 187
13.7.6 The Single-Parent Home .................................................................................. 187
13.7.6.1 The Trusting Mothers ................................................................................... 187
13.7.6.1.1 Story F-The Boyfriend ............................................................................ 187
13.7.6.1.2 Story G-The Father.................................................................................. 188
13.7.6.1.3 My 1st
Warning,....................................................................................... 188
13.7.6.1.4 My 2nd
Warning,...................................................................................... 189
13.7.7 Fighting Back ................................................................................................... 189
13.8 Incest..................................................................................................................... 189
13.8.1 A thorough definition of Incest ........................................................................ 190
19. 13.8.2 The negative effects of incest ........................................................................... 190
13.8.3 Treatment for Incest Perpetrators .................................................................... 191
13.8.4 Story H-Incest................................................................................................... 191
13.9 Rape...................................................................................................................... 192
13.9.1 Understanding the Perpetrator.......................................................................... 192
13.9.1.1 Personality Characteristics: .......................................................................... 192
13.9.1.2 Observations from research conducted......................................................... 193
13.9.2 Treatment of the rape perpetrator ..................................................................... 193
13.10 The Capital Vices Vs Virtues ............................................................................... 194
13.10.1 Seven Deadly sins............................................................................................. 194
13.10.2 Seven heavenly virtues ..................................................................................... 195
14 MANAGING HABITS..................................................................................................... 196
14.1 Perversion ............................................................................................................. 197
14.1.1 Causes of perversion......................................................................................... 197
14.1.2 Am I a pervert?................................................................................................. 198
14.1.3 Steps in addressing perversion ......................................................................... 198
14.2 Sexual Harassment ............................................................................................... 199
14.3 Sex discrimination................................................................................................ 200
14.4 Sexism .................................................................................................................. 200
14.5 Misogyny.............................................................................................................. 201
14.5.1 Misogynistic signs ............................................................................................ 201
14.6 Stalking................................................................................................................. 203
14.6.1 Stalking Can Become Violent .......................................................................... 204
14.6.2 The Female Stalker........................................................................................... 204
14.7 Snacking non-stop, even when not hungry........................................................... 205
14.8 Too much TV........................................................................................................ 206
14.9 Overindulgence in Video Games.......................................................................... 207
14.9.1 Where's the Harm?............................................................................................ 208
14.9.2 Addiction Warning Signs ................................................................................. 208
14.9.3 Treatment.......................................................................................................... 208
14.10 Overindulgence in Sports ..................................................................................... 209
14.11 Indulgence in Social Media .................................................................................. 209
14.11.1 Story I-Social Media......................................................................................... 213
14.12 Overspending your way into debt......................................................................... 213
14.13 Eating too much fast food..................................................................................... 214
14.14 Skipping breakfast. ............................................................................................... 215
14.15 Smoking cigarettes. .............................................................................................. 216
14.16 Overusing painkillers and sedatives. .................................................................... 217
14.17 Clownism.............................................................................................................. 219
14.17.1 Reversing Clownism......................................................................................... 220
20. 14.18 Bodily Etiquette.................................................................................................... 221
14.19 Talkative Man....................................................................................................... 223
14.20 Gossiping.............................................................................................................. 224
14.21 Judging Others...................................................................................................... 227
14.21.1 Fighting the urge to judge................................................................................. 228
15 MANAGING SEXPECTATIONS................................................................................... 231
15.1 PreCourse.............................................................................................................. 231
15.1.1 Story J-Bad Date............................................................................................... 233
15.1.2 Sex Anticipation Fail........................................................................................ 234
15.1.2.1 Story K-Sex Fail I......................................................................................... 234
15.1.2.2 Story L-Sex Fail II........................................................................................ 235
15.2 OuterCourse.......................................................................................................... 236
15.2.1 Oral Sex ............................................................................................................ 236
15.3 InterCourse ........................................................................................................... 238
15.3.1 Sexual Positions................................................................................................ 240
15.3.2 Intercourse during menstruation....................................................................... 243
15.3.3 Anal Sex ........................................................................................................... 243
15.3.4 Pregnancy and STDs ........................................................................................ 246
15.4 AfterCourse .......................................................................................................... 246
15.4.1 The AfterCourse Survey................................................................................... 246
15.4.2 The Regrets....................................................................................................... 247
15.4.3 Vaginal Care..................................................................................................... 248
15.4.3.1 Tips for a healthier Vagina ........................................................................... 248
15.4.3.2 Story M-Foul Vagina.................................................................................... 250
16 IMPLEMENTING CHANGE......................................................................................... 252
16.1 Manalysis of Alfred.............................................................................................. 252
16.1.1 Methodology..................................................................................................... 252
16.2 Conclusions .......................................................................................................... 254
16.3 Recommendations ................................................................................................ 254
16.3.1 Further recommendations................................................................................. 257
16.4 Expectations.......................................................................................................... 257
Appendices ............................................................................................................................... 259
Appendix I: Personal Budget Sheet.................................................................................. 259
Appendix II: Weekly schedule incorporating change ...................................................... 263
Appendix III-Guidelines for MHSF-III............................................................................ 264
Appendix III- List of Vices .............................................................................................. 268
Bibliography............................................................................................................................. 275