How to win friends & influence people

1. 15 September 2014
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Ribhu Vashishtha

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 Dale Breckenridge Carnegie was an
American writer, lecturer, and the developer
of famous courses in self-improvement,
salesmanship, corporate training, public
speaking, and interpersonal skills. He also
wrote How to Stop Worrying and Start
Living (1948), Lincoln the Unknown (1932),
and several other books.
 One of the core ideas in his books is that it is
possible to change other people's behaviour
by changing one's reaction to them.
15 September 2014 Ribhu Vashishtha

3. 1. Fundamental techniques in handling people.
2. Six ways to make people like you.
3. How to win people to your way of thinking.
4. Be a leader: How to change people without
giving offense or arousing resentment.
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15 September 2014 Ribhu Vashishtha

4.  Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
 Give honest and sincere appreciation.
 Arouse in the other person an eager want.
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15 September 2014 Ribhu Vashishtha

5.  If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.
 Any fool can criticize, condemn or complain- and most
fools do.
 “A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats
little men”. –Carlyle
 Criticism is futile as it puts a person on the defensive &
usually makes him strive to justify himself.
 90% of the people don’t blame themselves for their
wrong-doings.
 “God himself does not propose to judge a man until the
end of his days.”
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15 September 2014 Ribhu Vashishtha

6.  Lincoln always held his peace
“with malice towards none,
with charity for all”.
 “Don’t criticize them, they are
just what we would be under
similar circumstances.” -
Lincoln
 The deepest craving in human
nature is the desire to be
appreciated.
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15 September 2014 Ribhu Vashishtha

7. “If there is any one secret of success, it lies in
the ability to get the other person’s point of
view and see things from that person’s angle
as well as your own.”
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15 September 2014 Ribhu Vashishtha

8.  Become genuinely interested in other people.
 Smile – A simple way to make a good first
impression.
 Remember the peoples’ names.
 Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk
about themselves.
 Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
 Make the other person feel important-and do it
sincerely.
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15 September 2014 Ribhu Vashishtha

9.  You can make more friends in two months by
becoming genuinely interested in other people than
you can in two years by trying to get other people
interested in you.
 The New York telephone company made a detailed
study of telephone conversations to find out which
word is the most frequently used. The word was: “I”.
It was used 3900 times in 500 telephone
conversations.
 When you see a group photograph that you are in,
whose picture do you look for first?
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15 September 2014 Ribhu Vashishtha

10.  Actions speak louder than words and a
smile says, “I like you. You make me happy. I
am glad to see you.”
 An insincere grin-that doesn’t fool anybody.
We know it is mechanical and we resent it.
 People who smile tend to manage, teach and
sell far more effectively, and to raise happier
children.
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15 September 2014 Ribhu Vashishtha

11.  Remember that a person’s
name is to that person the
sweetest and most important
sound in any language.
 Theodore Roosevelt knew that
one of the simplest, most
obvious and most important
ways of gaining goodwill was
by remembering names and
making people feel important.
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15 September 2014 Ribhu Vashishtha

12.  This is an easy way to become a good
conversationalist.
 People who talk only about themselves think
only of themselves.
 To be interesting, be interested.
 Remember that the people you are talking to
are a hundred times more interested in
themselves than they are in you and your
problems.
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15 September 2014 Ribhu Vashishtha

13.  The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
 Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re
wrong.”
 If you are wrong, admit it quickly.
 Begin in a friendly way.
 Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
 Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
 Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
 Dramatize your ideas.
 Throw down a challenge.
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15 September 2014 Ribhu Vashishtha

14.  “A man convinced against his opinion is of the same
opinion still.”
 You can’t win an argument because if you lose it, you lose
it; and if you win it, you lose it.
 This is because even if you have triumphed over the other
person and shot his arguments full of holes, then what? You
have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will
resent your triumph.
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15 September 2014 Ribhu Vashishtha

15.  “You cannot teach a man anything; you can
only help him to find it within himself.”
–Galileo
 “Be wiser than other people if you can; but
do not tell them so.” –Lord Chesterfield
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15 September 2014 Ribhu Vashishtha

16.  Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
 Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
 Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
 Let the other person save face.
 Praise the slightest improvement and praise every
improvement.
 Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
 Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
 Make the other person happy about doing the thing you
suggest.
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15 September 2014 Ribhu Vashishtha

17.  No one likes to take orders.
 Instead of saying plainly “Do this or do that” try
“You might consider this” or “Do you think that
would work?”.
 A technique like that makes it easy for a person
to correct errors.
 A technique like that saves a person’s face and
gives him/her a feeling of importance. It
encourages cooperation instead of rebellion.
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18.  This is a very good technique to spur people on to success.
 “In the early nineteenth century, a young man in London aspired to be a
writer. But everything seemed to be against him. He had never been
able to attend school for more than four years. His father had been
flung in jail because he couldn’t pay his debts, and this young man often
knew the pangs of hunger. He had very little confidence in his ability to
write. He worked in a rat-infested warehouse and slept at night in a
small attic room with two other boys from the slums of the city. He
used to mail his stories to publishing houses routinely. But everytime
they were rejected. Story after story was refused. One day, one of his
stories was accepted. He wasn’t paid a shilling for it, but one editor had
praised him. He had given him a sense of recognition. He was so
thrilled that he wandered aimlessly around the streets with tears
rolling down his cheeks. Maybe you know him, he was….”
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MADE BY:-
Ribhu Vashishtha
(NU-MBA Batch 2011-13)
15 September 2014 Ribhu Vashishtha