3. ARTICLE 1
Arranged Marriage? What is it?
Arranged marriage is a marriage upon which two or more parties arrange a marriage
between two persons. The parties arranging a marriage may pick suitors based upon
financial security, religion, upbringing, health, and many other things. These parties may
be the parents of the unwed person, or matchmakers. Typically, the parent/matchmaker
makes note of potential spouses for their daughter/son/client. The two families may
meet and the unwed persons decide whether or not to pursue getting to know each
other. If so, there may be another meeting, or the two families may make a bond and
the engagement is complete! An unwed person may go through many potential spouses
until choosing one they like. Though sometimes called forced marriage, traditional
arranged marriages do not happen unless the unwed consent.
This type of marriage is predominantly practicing in the Middle East and Southeast Asia,
but it is in many parts of the world- even those you would not expect. It is both a
celebrated tradition and a cultural taboo, but either way you look at it, there are both
benefits, downsides.
The traditional type of marriage in the west is arranged between the two unwed persons
by themselves. Family usually plays a signifigantly lower role in the unwed's marriage
choice. The unwed persons may know eachother for a very long time until deciding to
marry.
So, between these two types of marriage, one must wonder- which one is best?
Arranged Marriage In the West
Arranged marriage, in the west, is a very thought-provoking topic. In most situations,
arranged marriage in the US is a very foreign concept, and many do not understand
why a person would choose to marry someone they have not been with very long, if at
all. The thought that persons may have families or matchmakers help choose spouses
on basis on so many aspects often is met with distaste and confusion, if not hate. Why
is this? American culture values personalization, independece, and most importantly,
the freedom to do almost anything. With this, eventually comes the desire to pursue
relationships as wished. SInce allowed, relationships before marriage are highly normal
and one may be in love many times over. The relationship before marriage gives
personalization and comfort to the situation, The normality to have many partners and
'move on' from them brings independence, and the freedom to choose anyone to wed,
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4. even if their families do not agree or their life situation isn't quite as good is very
appealing to the generations of today's western societies. There is nothing Americans
love more than their freedom, and they are always willing to fight for it.
If we look at the US's history, we will see various alterations and forms of arranged
marriage. A prominent example would be in the 1950's, where girls often aimed to marry
financially secure, handsome and respected men with good families and good records.
Though also incorporating love before marriage, the 50's marriage norms were very
much like arranged marriages, where if the families disagreed, it would not happen.
That isn't to say some didn't elope, though. As the concept of freedom and American
culture advanced, so did the concept of marriage sole on personal choice.
This does not mean that all in the west are opposed to arranged marriage, and some
even aim for it. It even exists in subtle forms- We still see today, women eyeing the
single doctor, and chasing after rich tycoons- it's all over television and films, where the
most appealing characters are the richest, most intelligent, or most trustworthy, and
people flock to them because of it.
Arranged marriage- the benefits
Arranged marriages can be a very happy time in someone's life- and for the rest of it.
There are a number of considerable benefits, each of them important to leading a
stable, good life. A few of the benefits correlating to arranged marriages are, if the right
suitor is chosen:
• financial security. Families/matchmakers try and choose suitors who are secure
and well-off in finances, which ensures that money will be something that is always
able to be gained in the case of an emergency or other such events.
• cultural and/or religious understanding. Many times, the arranged spouses descend
somewhat from the same type of culture, or share the same religion. This ensures
that the spouses understand one another's lifestyles, and it gives common ground
and belonging to the betrothed. In some cases, this preserves the cultural and
religious identity of the persons and allows them to express it as they wish.
• avoidance of pre-marriage relationships/courtship. In some cases, people are very
averse to the often awkward and time-consuming tango of dating and courtship.
Arranged marriages often eliminate the years many waste dating multiple persons,
and allow persons to find a good spouse without the need to do so.
• encouragement of abstinence. As is common in american culture, many indulge in
relationships in which there is fornication before marriage, or without the intent of
marriage at all. Arranged marriages encourage abstinence, eliminating the
possibility of later guilt and remorse from previous 'relations'. This sets a good
example for other family members and children, and may lower one's chances of
contracting veneral disease.
• incompatibiliy is greatly lowered. Because of the many factors that go into choosing
partners for an arranged marriage, compatibility is usually very good with all the
areas taken into consideration (education, crime record, family, religion, etc.).
Partners are arranged based of the similarities of these areas. The similarity
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5. between the two partners ensures that they understand each other, and are able to
live comfortably as they have always been accustomed.
• divorce is more unlikely. Because of the similarities and matchings between the two
spouses, divorce is more unlikely to happen due to irreconcilable differences or
disputes, as in many arranged marriages they both have the same veiws on
marriage and family- and may share the same culture, religion and more. There is
then little left to dispute and differentiate about and the spouses can focus on each
other rather than their differences. In many situations, the insight given by the
parents/matchmaker on the future spouse and the willing consent of the unwed
person to marry a selected partner stregthens the marriage, as all are happy with
the choice and the instincts of the parents are good.
• trust in in-laws. Though in-laws are usually depicted as unlikable, nosy relatives in
popular american film, in arranged marriages, in-laws can be very supportive and
close to the new relatives. Since the entire family tends to give input on prospective
spouses for their family members, once a spouse is found and they wed, both
families then become united by the marriage and are then one, for they are both
happy and pleased with their new relatives. If not, then the two partners would have
never married. There is a saying in arranged marriages, that a woman marries the
family, not just the groom. This can be a very good thing, for the newlyweds can
then depend on and trust their new families if needed, and there is always help if
the spouses are having troubles, for a family member can always step in and help
to resolve the problem. This can mean that when going to family parties, there is no
awkward silence between in-laws, and everyone is happy to see one another.
• equality. In matching spouses, some very important factors are generally met
equally. Equality/similarity in education, financial situation, and other things is very
good. For example, an arranged marriage could be stressed if one spouse earned
the gist of the income, as it would pressure the other to earn more or cause them to
feel dependent. Education, matched properly, could help so the partners feel equal
in intelligence, therefore eliminating a stress or pressure of being 'dumb' or illiterate.
Also, both being educated, the spouses are most likely to be equally rational and
sensible in raising children or dealing with some issues.
Those were simply a few of the benefits to arranged marriage, and one must hope to
achieve some level of these benefits. There are many others, depending on where you
reside in and which culture you pertain to.
Arranged marriage- the disadvantages
Of course, with every advantage, there is a disadvantage. A few disadvantages do
pertain to arranged marriages, and one must be careful to avoid them. Disadvantages
may include:
• dependence/ inablility to choose a partner. In some cases, when parents or elders
help to choose a partner, it discourages the unwed person to think for themselves
and consider whether or not they believe they would be compatible. In the case of
this, if after a few years of marriage, if it is going unwell, it is easy for that person to
then blame their parents for poor judgement.
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6. • families too close for comfort. Some arranged marriages, in the case of which
spouses are in an argument, it may be uncomfortable or odd for the families to
become involved in situations otherwise better solved sole by the partners.
Especially for those raised in the west, it may be strange or even stressful for the
families to have too much of their noses in their business, even more so when they
express their own views in the situation.
• love becoming the second most important thing. In arranged marriages, there is a
saying, to think with your head and not your heart. Yet, it is important to think with
both. Spouses who think only with their head may end up realizing there is no
emotional compatibility, and those who think only with their heart may end up
realizing they do not have a stable future. Although love may come later, it is
important to secure a stable future. Sometimes the spouses are in love at meeting,
at marriage, or later. Love sometimes blossoms later and when it does, only
stregthens the marriage and make the spouses happier. However, in the case
where love does not blossom, help can be sought- and if nothing can be done, then
the marriage was not right somehow.
Marriage- for better or for worse
Marriage is a very special and joyous part of many people's lives, and can bring
together entire families or nations- as it has done and kept doing so in the past and into
the future. When one decides they want to marry sometime in life, it can be very
stressful or exciting- and all they must do is choose how.
As with any kind of marriage, all are blessings in their own way and I wish luck to all
who are about to marry or married! Salaam and god bless.
Arranged Marriage- my personal beliefs
II believe that all sorts of marriage are suitable and joyous- but I think that certain types
of marriage are for certain people. I am an advocate for myself to pursue an arranged
marriage, and I wish to marry a Muslim man before I am twenty-three years old.
However, even though I am Muslim, my family is predominantly Christian, therefore I
will be pushing for them to participate with a matchmaker to find me prospective
partners.
I also plan to marry after having established a career of writing novels and being an
anthropologist. Hopefully, Insha'allah, I will have children soon after marriage.
Marriage is a very joyous part of life, and I sincerely hope that everyone going through
it, arranged or not, lives happily and well. Salaam and god bless.
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7. Article 2
Love marriage
Love marriage is a recent phenomenon if we compare the history of arranged marriage and
marriage based on love. Though marriage based on love is a recent phenomenon with a
history of just 200 years, its acceptance has been phenomenal especially in the western
liberalized world. Now the trend is also slowly catching up in the traditional societies of the
east. We can define marriage based on love as a union of two individuals based upon
affection and a mutual attraction. In romantic language this phenomenon of mutual
attraction and affection is called as love and this is the foundation and basis for all
marriages based on love. Love marriages are in fact great platform for young people to find
their life partners based on mutual liking and compatibility. These marriages also offer the
chance of courtship where the couple come to know each other well and then they decide
whether they need to get married or not.
Love marriage: The bonding of love in marriage
The biggest advantage of love marriage is the bonding and affection that is
established between the couple before the marriage. This does not happen in
one day but it develops over time and then we say that the individuals have
fallen in love with each other. Falling in love is an essential perquisite for all
love marriages. Scientifically it has been discovered that falling in love alters
our biochemical state and individuals in love yearn to be together and share
the most intimate things about their lives with the loved ones. As love
develops the people in love tend to become accommodative and supportive
to the needs of each other and in fact they try to complement each other in
all possible ways. Adjustments are made and negative traits in the
individuals are overlooked or underplayed. It has also been seen that people
who are in love share a high amount sexual tension between themselves. So
we can safely assume that the bonding based on affection, mutual attraction
and care when continues unhindered for some time then it can lead to
marriage and this is what we call as love marriage.
Love Marriage: The positives of marriage based on love
The most important positive point of marriage based on love is that it is
based on the foundation of mutual attraction, affection, care and personal
choice. Love marriage gives the individuals the freedom to choose their
partners and live a life based on their own individual will. It also teaches
them to be supportive and accommodative to each other. The beauty of love
marriage is the love that exists between the individuals. The love among the
two individuals also becomes the basis for strong sexual attraction which is
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8. more than the feeling of lust. When people in love have sex, it leads to
emotional fulfilment and development of trust between each other. In fact
the feeling is of giving and sharing at every level. Further this strong
bonding called as love helps the couple overcome life’s tough circumstances
and challenges. Even in the toughest of situations the couple stay together
and face the challenges of life as a team. Overtime this experience of
sharing the good and tough moments of life together helps them to cement their
relationship at a higher pedestal involving the physical, mental and spiritual faculties.
Love marriage: Negatives of marriage based on love
As there are positives and advantages of marriage based on love there are also negatives of
love marriage against which precautions have to be taken. First of all the biggest truth is
that only a marginal percentage of love affairs actually culminate into actual marriage.
Falling in love may happen as a sudden phenomenon without any forewarning and similarly
breaking of a love affair can take place very rapidly. This may happen even without a valid
and concrete reason. The fickleness of love is the biggest disadvantage and negativity of
marriage based on love. It is true that maximum number of divorces take place in love
marriages. The reason given for divorce in majority of the cases is as trivial as the lack of
love between the individuals. This is despite the fact that the couple got married in the first
place because of their love for each other. So it is important to understand whether you are
in real love or it is just a crush or infatuation. It is better to have a long courtship period
rather than burning your fingers by getting into a hasty marriage. Then there are imposters
and cheaters in this world who pretend to be in love but in actuality they may be after your
money and property. Sometimes the truth is known only after the marriage. So keep a
check on yourself and keep relationships and friendships with only those people who are of
your circle. This may help you guard against cheaters and imposters.
Love marriage can be especially tough for individuals coming from traditional cultures and
societies. Here the problem gets compounded as the couple does not get any support from
their families and most of the times the immediate families become openly hostile to the
marriage. So in these circumstances it is better to take your parents and relations into
confidence before getting into a matrimony which is based on love. Further it would be
prudent to have a realistic check on the financial position before getting into a marriage
based on love. It would be advisable that people who are in love postpone their marriage till
a time they are earning enough to sustain a family. In today’s circumstances a love
marriage can only survive if both the individuals are financially sound and are earning
members. Otherwise all love will be lost in quick time managing the harsh conditions of
today’s world. So finally I would say that there is nothing wrong in falling in love and getting
married based on love but the most important point is to use your head and intelligence to
nourish your love life so that it can last forever.
Article by Sanjay Nair
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9. ANALYSIS
1. The issues being discussed are arranged marriage versus the love marriage.
The writer emphasizes on the advantages of arranged marriage compare to love
marriage. He intended to say that an arranged marriage is basically based upon
financial security, religion, health and so on. And commonly it is involving two or
more parties arranging the marriage between two person. Generally, it could be
from families, friends or other people around the pairs.
2. The writer also feels that arrange marriage is not really agreed by the people
who come from the West because it is a very thought provoking topic. This is
because freedom of choosing their life partner is the main focus or subject for
them.
3. He also uses his personal comments or opinion and referring to the historical
of specific country such as United States to show the beginning of arranged
marriage practicing. He also expressed that people from US especially the girls
are often aimed to be married with somebody who are financially secure,
handsome and respected men with good families background. These things are
very important for them. This shows that not all the people from the West totally
disagree with the arranged marriage.
4. According to the writer, he feels that there are a lot of advantages of arranged
marriage for the pairs especially in financial security, cultural understanding and
in socializing aspect that is to avoid the pre-marriage relationships.
5. Next, the second article is telling about love marriage. Love marriage is a trend
of new era which is involving the feeling of two people to get to know each other.
Referring to statements done by the writer, love marriage is a strong bonding to
show the love between them. In this situation, adjustments and adaptation are
there because they already know each other and they are free to choose their
own life partner.
6. By the way, the writer is stating that there are a lot of disadvantages of love
marriage. It is mainly about time consuming to get to know the life partner and
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10. this is one of the reason why do they need time to get married ( late marriage ).
The writer feels that there is a confusion between love and crush/infatuation. And,
sometimes there are a lot of people who are pretending to be in love but the
reality is they are actually seeking for money, properties and wealth.
7. In my opinion, the argument is very clear and fair. The writer presented both
sides of perception between arranged and love marriage which are commonly
happen in our society. Personally, I feel that the writer is being natural ( not
biased ) to any side. This can be seen from the way he wrote the article by
showing all the pros and contras of arranged and love marriage.
8. Frankly to say that, I agree with the love marriage because to me, freedom to
choose our own life partner is very important . It is about future life of the person
to live forever with the beloved one. Based on my own experience, I am the one
who really think that love and feeling are important element to run a good and
happy life with our partner.
9. But, as conclusion, generally the types of marriage are not the main issues.
What the most important is the way how the people handle their life with their
own partner with matured thinking style and take all the circumstances of
marriage in a positive way.
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11. Compare and Contrast Graphic Organizer
Arranged marriage Love Marriage
http://clvb.hubpages.com/hub/Arranged- http://www.rise-of-womanhood.org/love-
Marriage--Why-or-Why-not marriage.html
SIMILARITIES
Marriage is a situation where the love and feeling should be there
Does not matter whether the partners are from the arranged or love marriage
Hoping to get a joyful and happy life with their life partner.
-Arranged marriage is not based - Love marriage is stressing on
on feelings only but based on feeling and loving each other
cultural, financial security, ( between the life partner )
properties, socializing aspects ( to
DIFFERENCES
avoid from pre-marriage
relationship )
> Pertaining to the historical of the - strong bonding between them
states or cultural. So, need time for because they already know each
adjustment and adaptation each other before getting married
other.
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12. ARRANGED MARRIAGE ARRANGED MARRIAGE
ADVANTAGES
Respecting the match Strong bonding between
makers’ decision/decision the partners.
Pre marriage relationship can Love and feeling are there
be avoided
Freedom of choosing life
Financial security partner
Encouragement of Love is the thing that make
abstinence them strong to face all the
circumstances
Low risk of incompatibility
DISADVANTAGES
Fickleness of love
Dependence and inability
to choose life partner Circumstances to face the
families supports ( from
Families are too close to
both side )
comfort
High risk of facing the
Love becomes the second
cheaters who are
most important thing
pretending to love
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