2. Introduction
Have you ever encountered times when
you do the right things, and then people put
you down or make fun of you?
Have you ever done things that you are not
proud of to try to fit in with other people?
3. People negative reactions to your
positive behaviors
When people put you down for your positive
behaviors, it is only because they cannot do them
themselves
When you are better than other people, they will
feel uncomfortable
In order for people to get out of the
uncomfortable zone, it is easier for them to put
you down than to encourage or compliment you
4. Why people put you down for your
positive behaviors
• Negative talks are faster at numbing negative emotions
compared to positive encouragements
• For example, when you are stressing out, negative
behaviors such as smoking or consuming sweet and fatty
foods will numb your emotions quicker than engaging
into positive behaviors such as going for a walk or
applying other positive activities
• When other people make excuses on why they do
negative things, it is only to make them feel better about
themselves because they cannot do the right things
5. Happy vs. sad people
• Also, when other people put you down for your
positive behaviors, it means that they are not
happy people
• When you are a happy person, you will
acknowledge people for their positive behaviors,
and not put them down
6. Being perfect
• When you try to do the right things, people also
believe that you are trying to be perfect
• As human beings, it is normal for everyone to
make mistakes; so people would believe that by
doing negative things is the same thing as making
mistakes
• As a result, when people behave negatively, they
believe that their behaviors are mistakes, which
become okay
7. Being perfect vs. making mistakes
• Making mistakes and engaging into negative behaviors are
two very different things
• Mistakes occur when you believe your action is right from
the beginning but then it turns out to be wrong
• For example, if you want to experiment something that you
have never done before, and it turned out negative, then that
is a mistake
• For example, if you are a child touching a hot stove for the
very first time and not knowing that it is hot, then that is a
mistake
8. Cont’s.
However, if you touch the hot stove again, then
that is a negative behavior
When you know that your action will result in a
negative outcome at the beginning, but you still
insisting on taking action anyway, then that is a
negative behavior, not a mistake, and it does not
matter what kind of excuses you make
9. No one is perfect
• When you do the right things, it does not mean
you are trying to be perfect, because you are not
• If you are were perfect, then you would never
make mistakes, but you do
• In addition, when you purposely try to behave
negatively, then you are harming yourself because
you are doing things that you do not believe in
10. True acceptance
Even though other people might accept you at
the beginning when you do negative things to fit
in; they will not enjoy you for the long term
Even though the benefits from positive behaviors
might take a longer time to manifest, when the
benefits manifest, other people will want to be
around you for a longer time
11. “It is not true that nice guys finish
last. Nice guys are winners before
the game even starts.”
Addison Walker
12. Action Steps
• 1. Write down all of your negative behaviors that you do
to try to fit in or impress other people
• 2. For each negative behavior, write down all the
negative outcomes that could happen in your life
• 3. Write down the positive behaviors that other people
put you down when you do them
• 4. For each positive behavior, write down the positive
outcomes from it
13. Action Steps
5. Write down all the people who give you
negative comments when you do positive things.
And then try to stay away from those people as
much as possible
6. Stay focus on the positive outcomes from your
positive behaviors
14. Free offer
If you would like a free downloadable of
my book: “Self-Esteem Building: How to
live your life as YOU.”
Log on to www.mykimtran.com