From the audiobook by Daniel Goleman and Jon Kabat-Zinn, [email_address] which explores the fact that many leaders have been schooled in critical and analytical thinking, but never the importance of being mindful. Daniel Goleman is also well known for his book Emotional Intelligence and Primal Leadership
Each one of you, say your name and one little known fact about yourself. Five of you have been instructed to lie about the little know fact. At the end of everyone’s introductions the group will help me figure out who was lying…
So, thank you to those of you who responded to my posts on your facebook page. I enjoyed, as well, reading your posts on the upcoming activities that your groups have put together. Best of luck on those…based on the feedback I did receive and a little research I did about this program, I thought an hour spent on a high level of “inside out leadership” and then tying that into how to be an effective collaborator might be useful and fun. How many of you have taken other leadership training programs besides this one? What did those programs focus on?
To truly maximize your potential and effectiveness as a leader, one aspect that you cannot overlook is who you are, what you do and how you respond and interact with others To really get in touch with your inner leader, you have to look in the mirror, not out the window I plan for this to be interactive and participatory, so I hope you are all ready for that!
Get in groups of 3. Describe to each other a leadership experience that illustrated your definition of a great leader. It can be a leader with whom you have work for or with who was inspirational; a situation where you were in a leadership role that was particularly rewarding; or something you’ve seen or read about that inspired you. Your partner listens and can only ask questions to get more information, more detailed words and more feeling. The observer will write down key words that describe the leadership scenario that is being described. One word descriptors only. Write the descriptors on the white board.
Remember Daniel Goleman from our meditation session? He is an psychologist and author. He specialized in Brain Science and brings theories of brain science to leadership effectiveness and workplace success. His books Emotional Intelligence and Primal Leadership. Emotional Intelligence is the ability to identify, assess and control your own emotions and the emotions of those around you (e.g. in the work place). Goleman argues, convincingly, that non-cognitive skills such as emotional intelligence have as much effect on workplace and leadership success as IQ. Hoo boy! Can you get your head around that? Hopefully, in the next half hour, we’ll be able to crack this nut a little more in exploring our own personal leadership styles and then bring it back to how we can be impactful, as leaders in our own organizations and in the community as a whole. Let’s start with assumptions and inferences…
Consider this: We live in a world of self-generating beliefs which remain largely untested, right? In fact, and this is of course totally normal, in fact, we adopt our beliefs based on conclusions we draw from inferences we make from what we observe based on our past experiences. All totally normal EXCEPT our past experiences are not the same as the past experiences of those around us…even those closest to us, our family, our siblings who grew up in the very same house have different interpretations on the same experience…my brother remembers things from our childhood that I am positive he is just making up!
My example of presenting to the PAC that golden needed activities for the youth and a parent saying “ I can’t imagine that, there are plenty of things to do” listed off all the sports and outdoor activities…that people who know and who already do and who can afford it participate in. In other words, she was only able to relate to things in her world.
We are going to do a little exercise (abbreviated version) to demonstrate the differences in these personality styles and how they relate to how we deliver and receive messages.
The “what is this” activity. Hold up an object and have the group write about it for 2-3 minutes. Choose randomly a few and read them. Divide into two groups based on the way they wrote their description. After the group has been divided, put into groups of 5 again and have them put together a quick skit on a news item with a partner group. One group describes this in a very factual way; the other in a very emotional way. Car accident at the Y. How did it feel?
So, what did that exercise feel like? Can you see how we have a tendency to communicate and to listen in a particular way? We hear what we are conditioned to hear, we notice what we already notice. “Seeing Red Cars.” I was looking for a stat the other day about small business start up success. I had a client who has a home based natural bath and body product company. She has experienced 100% increase in top line revenue over the past 3 years and I was looking for stats (that I know exist) about this. Instead, all I came up with on Google was how start-up business fail in their first five years. It is hard to break from that, especially when we are pressured, under deadline, under attack, or trying to impress. So as we move into the concept of collaboration…within your organization or inter-organizationally and community wide, we should be aware of this…So let’s jump over to that, and we’ll try to tie this all in at the end… Square exercise: 10 min max.
What is collaboration? Have the group give a definition… Comes out of a set of core and shared beliefs if it is to be sustainable What is collaboration NOT? Cooperation is good, but it is not the same as collaboration. Coordination is necessary for most projects, but again, not the same as collaboration Competition…Let’s just talk for a moment about: *Common mind think is to use Collaboration as a tactic to “beat” the other business. This is not the point. *Our customers are not our enemies, for heaven’s sakes, they are our customers . The same thought, I would add, can be applied to our employees. Yesterday’s B-school teachings focused on “competition-centric worldview.” stop thinking about “winning” and start thinking about succeeding…Success (versus winning) is best achieved in concert with others… Trust and collaboration are the ways of the new leaders Why collaborate? (ask the group) Leveraging resources to create economies of scale Cross sector approach Find answers to community issues Grow social capital Collaborative work has two kinds of impact: tangible impacts on the presenting problem, and an impact on civic culture. In addition to finding solutions to community issues, we can notice growth in social capital rather than the destruction of relationships through divisive, win/lose encounters.
When doesn’t collaboration add value? --Be careful of Conflict between groups --Competing individual objectives (incentive based systems that are individual based) --When Collaboration costs including: Budget overruns; lower quality; limited cost savings; lost sales; damaged customer relationships. AND Opportunity costs outweigh the Projected return.
Personal Leadership and Collaboration
Leadership Lake TahoePersonal leadership style and community collaboration
5 minute meditation “When we divide our attention, we are actually neither here nor there.”Daniel Goleman, Mindfulness @ Work: A leadingwith emotional intelligence conversation withJon Kabat-Zinn
A leader is best whenpeople barely knowhe exists, when hiswork is done, his aimfulfilled, they will say:we did it ourselves.
• Model the way• Inspire a shared vision• Challenge the process• Enable others to act• Encourage the heart
The most significant contributionthat leaders make is not simply totoday’s bottom line; it is to thelong-term development of peopleand institutions so they can adapt,change, prosper, and grow. TheLeadership Challenge (4th ed), Kouzes &Posner
From Goleman’s Vital Lies, Simple Truths (1985)• "The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice there is little we can do to change until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds."
• Our beliefs are the truth• The truth is obvious• Our beliefs are based on real data• The data we select are the real data
How can you be an effective leader in community collaboration?• Be mindful• Listen, ask the right questions…and listen• Consider different personality styles and communication styles• Don’t climb up that Ladder of Inference• Share Power, give power away• Turn to one another, don’t be afraid to start a conversation
Margaret J Wheatley Trust that meaningful conversations can change your world.From Turning to one another: Simple conversations to restorehope to the future
Laurie Dalzell Maven Connector Group firstname.lastname@example.org