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Raising Children with  Special Needs   Presenter: Lydia Abrams, LCSW Tikvah  Special Needs  Program Coordinator Tampa Jewish Family Services www.tjfs.org
[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],Learning Objectives:
This presentation does not reflect the experiences of  all  parents/primary caregivers of children with special needs. Each family unit and every family member experiences the impacts of raising a child with special needs in their own unique way.
Every Child is an Individual Each Parents’ Experience is Unique Some Families May Have Similarities but None  are the Same
[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
[object Object],[object Object],Some families prefer the word “Disability”; some prefer the words “Special Needs”; some prefer the individual’s diagnosis; some just prefer the child’s name
Family plans prior to birth  of child: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
 
 
Upon initial diagnosis of a child with special needs, most families have begun a journey…. They will experience various emotions… And will hopefully learn how to cope with the unexpected changes in their lives.
Feelings of Grief/Loss: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
What are parents/caregivers grieving for? “ The day my child was born, was the day I lost my innocence.” -  You Will Dream New Dreams ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Feelings of Anger ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Feelings of Guilt: Unable to protect child Child’s suffering “ What did I do to cause this?” “ How could I have  prevented this?” Less attention toward other children Loss of intimacy  with partner Less focus on  personal needs
[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],Feelings of Isolation:
Decreased Confidence:  ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Fear / Worry: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Feeling Overwhelmed: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Feelings of Detachment: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Feelings of Relief: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Other Stressors: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],Role Changes ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],Can forget that they are the parent of their child first Parents/primary caregivers can unexpectedly become… … For their child
“ Roller Coaster Ride” ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Extended  Family  Members Other  Committ- ments Therapies Finances Careers Schools Medications Hospitals/ Clinics/ Labs Community Accomodations Insurance Companies Early Steps  Or Related  Programs Specialized Equipments Case  Worker Specialized Physician(s) Primary Pediatrian Spouse Other  Children Child/ren With  Special  Needs Parents/ Primary Caregivers
Gaining Acceptance/Coping   Skills ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Find Balance: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],Read: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Acknowledge Positive Aspects of Child  and Life:  ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],Love Child for the Person He/She is:  ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Other Ways to Gain Acceptance/Coping Skills: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Patience: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Forgiveness: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],Letting Go:
Writing as a form of Healing: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Feelings of Acceptance may Come and Go Some may never  accept  situation; but may learn to  cope “ It is the journey that counts – not the destination.”   -  You Will Dream New Dreams
If the parents’ emotional needs are met –  then they can better care for their children
Many Parents/Primary Caregivers Benefit From Professionals Who Practice: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],Parents/Caregivers and Professionals are a  team  that are working toward the best interest of the child
Core Services That Can Assist Families: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Parental Counseling: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
“ Who Are The People In Your Neighborhood?” ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],*Networking is vital for learning about resources in your community*
Tips For Professionals: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
More Tips: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Helpful things for professionals ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],to say:
“ What if the shoe doesn’t fit?” ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
When should parents/caregivers seek counseling? ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],“ Taking care of yourself is important to you….and your child”   -  specialparentsupport.com
Empowering Parents/Primary Caregivers Parents/caregivers are capable of making decisions that work for their families Higher self-confidence can lead to positive parenting “ Walk life’s path with gentle footsteps”     -Flavia
“ Stuff happens, people do the best they can, and very often they learn and grow thereby.”     - Louise Rachel,  Mothering
Online Resources: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
More Online Resources: ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
http://specialchildren.about.com/od/needinspiration/ig/Notes-of-Encouragement/
Recommended Books ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Disclaimer: ,[object Object],[object Object]

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The Emotional Dynamics

  • 1. Raising Children with Special Needs Presenter: Lydia Abrams, LCSW Tikvah Special Needs Program Coordinator Tampa Jewish Family Services www.tjfs.org
  • 2.
  • 3. This presentation does not reflect the experiences of all parents/primary caregivers of children with special needs. Each family unit and every family member experiences the impacts of raising a child with special needs in their own unique way.
  • 4. Every Child is an Individual Each Parents’ Experience is Unique Some Families May Have Similarities but None are the Same
  • 5.
  • 6.
  • 7.
  • 8.  
  • 9.  
  • 10. Upon initial diagnosis of a child with special needs, most families have begun a journey…. They will experience various emotions… And will hopefully learn how to cope with the unexpected changes in their lives.
  • 11.
  • 12.
  • 13.
  • 14. Feelings of Guilt: Unable to protect child Child’s suffering “ What did I do to cause this?” “ How could I have prevented this?” Less attention toward other children Loss of intimacy with partner Less focus on personal needs
  • 15.
  • 16.
  • 17.
  • 18.
  • 19.
  • 20.
  • 21.
  • 22.
  • 23.
  • 24. Extended Family Members Other Committ- ments Therapies Finances Careers Schools Medications Hospitals/ Clinics/ Labs Community Accomodations Insurance Companies Early Steps Or Related Programs Specialized Equipments Case Worker Specialized Physician(s) Primary Pediatrian Spouse Other Children Child/ren With Special Needs Parents/ Primary Caregivers
  • 25.
  • 26.
  • 27.
  • 28.
  • 29.
  • 30.
  • 31.
  • 32.
  • 33. Feelings of Acceptance may Come and Go Some may never accept situation; but may learn to cope “ It is the journey that counts – not the destination.” - You Will Dream New Dreams
  • 34. If the parents’ emotional needs are met – then they can better care for their children
  • 35.
  • 36.
  • 37.
  • 38.
  • 39.
  • 40.
  • 41.
  • 42.
  • 43.
  • 44. Empowering Parents/Primary Caregivers Parents/caregivers are capable of making decisions that work for their families Higher self-confidence can lead to positive parenting “ Walk life’s path with gentle footsteps” -Flavia
  • 45. “ Stuff happens, people do the best they can, and very often they learn and grow thereby.” - Louise Rachel, Mothering
  • 46.
  • 47.
  • 49.
  • 50.