Football is Becoming Safer When Less are Playing Most of my life I have been playing the game of football, when I think of football I think of a beautifully dangerous game. some of the best and worst moments of my life have happened on a football field, but that’s the beauty of it, you never know what’s going to happen under the lights. Unfortunately, I can tell you head injuries have been a common sight in football. in my life I have had 3 diagnosed concussions and probably many more undiagnosed just from playing up to the high school level. While concussions today are a huge issue in football with recent research findings that repeated head trauma can lead to CTE. Today the game is changing to protect player, I feel like changes to the game are great for player safety, even though not as many kids are playing football today.  Here’s why, the rule changes for player safety can make more kids want to play or parents let their kids play if they feel safer.  In order to improve safety coaches, need to make changes on how their teams’ practice, including tackling form/technique. Something like this is so important for players, parents, and coaches to understand and get good at in order to stay as safe as possible while playing football.  Before I get started here’s some background information about concussions and CTE, that make this such an important issue. Concussions are caused by a hard blow to the head that causes your brain to bump against the inside of your head which can leave you with strong headaches/migraines, irritation to light, as well as memory loss. Concussions are what’s been known to cause CTE in many athletes, “110 of 111 deceased NFL players were found to have some form of CTE in a study released in 2017” (Reinberg). In other words, the only way to completely identify if somebody has CTE is post-mortem in a brain autopsy, and CTE may be a bigger issue than we had originally thought. If your unfamiliar with CTE it can be defined as, “Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) is a progressive degenerative disease of the brain found in people with a history of repetitive brain trauma (often athletes), including symptomatic concussions.” (Boston University). CTE has no cure, and symptoms can include memory loss, depression, anxiety, troubling thinking and talking, amongst many other things. With how serious the consequences are it’s not that surprising that less kids today are playing football.  Not as many kids today are playing football, and that’s something I’ve experienced myself. I’m from a Suburban town in Connecticut and when I was in the 8th grade we only had 6 kids sign up to play on our Pop Warner team, which made me go play football in a neighboring town 30 min away in the city, who had enough kids to play. Even in high school we had a small football team with most kids starting on both sides of the football, and a roster with only 24 varsity players on it. You can see a decline in football all around the country, even in ...

1. Football is Becoming Safer When Less are Playing
Most of my life I have been playing the game of football, when
I think of football I think of a beautifully dangerous game. some
of the best and worst moments of my life have happened on a
football field, but that’s the beauty of it, you never know what’s
going to happen under the lights. Unfortunately, I can tell you
head injuries have been a common sight in football. in my life I
have had 3 diagnosed concussions and probably many more
undiagnosed just from playing up to the high school level.
While concussions today are a huge issue in football with recent
research findings that repeated head trauma can lead to CTE.
Today the game is changing to protect player, I feel like
changes to the game are great for player safety, even though not
as many kids are playing football today. Here’s why, the rule
changes for player safety can make more kids want to play or
parents let their kids play if they feel safer. In order to improve
safety coaches, need to make changes on how their teams’
practice, including tackling form/technique. Something like this
is so important for players, parents, and coaches to understand
and get good at in order to stay as safe as possible while
playing football.
Before I get started here’s some background information about
concussions and CTE, that make this such an important issue.
Concussions are caused by a hard blow to the head that causes
your brain to bump against the inside of your head which can
leave you with strong headaches/migraines, irritation to light, as
well as memory loss. Concussions are what’s been known to
cause CTE in many athletes, “110 of 111 deceased
NFL players were found to have some form of CTE in a study
released in 2017” (Reinberg). In other words, the only way to
completely identify if somebody has CTE is post-mortem in a
brain autopsy, and CTE may be a bigger issue than we had
originally thought. If your unfamiliar with CTE it can be
defined as, “Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) is a

2. progressive degenerative disease of the brain found in people
with a history of repetitive brain trauma (often athletes),
including symptomatic concussions.” (Boston University). CTE
has no cure, and symptoms can include memory loss,
depression, anxiety, troubling thinking and talking, amongst
many other things. With how serious the consequences are it’s
not that surprising that less kids today are playing football.
Not as many kids today are playing football, and that’s
something I’ve experienced myself. I’m from a Suburban town
in Connecticut and when I was in the 8th grade we only had 6
kids sign up to play on our Pop Warner team, which made me go
play football in a neighboring town 30 min away in the city,
who had enough kids to play. Even in high school we had a
small football team with most kids starting on both sides of the
football, and a roster with only 24 varsity players on it. You can
see a decline in football all around the country, even in a state
like Texas less kids are playing football, “Just under 11 percent
of high schoolers in the state played UIL -sanctioned eleven-
man and six-man football. That’s a big drop from the year 2000,
when the number stood at 14.5 percent” (Ferguson). Basically,
what the author is trying to say that in the recent years
especially in a state like Texas, where high school football is
practically a religion and they drop millions of dollars a year on
high school football stadiums as big as college ones. It would
be surprising to see less interest in football but it’s happening
all over the country.
Many kids or even their parents don’t want them to play
football because of how dangerous it can be, however now I
would say is when we would need more youth to start playing
football. In the past few years they have changed the game to
heavily protect and favor the offensive side. Adding the new
rule in 2018 making it illegal for a player to initiate any contact
with his helmet. As well as, eliminating blindside blocks in
2018 (a blocker to initiate forcible contact with his head,
shoulder or forearm when his path is toward or parallel to his
own end line.) and chop blocks in 2016 (an attempt by an

3. offensive player to block at the thigh level or lower a defensive
player while the defender is already engaged by another
offensive player.) to help protect the players on the defensive
side of the ball as well. But the most important thing to help
protect yourself today while playing football is learning a
relatively new, better, safer tacking forming.
When I was taught how to play football in our tacking
form drills our coaches always told us on and angle tackle to
keep our head I front of the offensive player. Now I think
obviously you can see a flaw with that form your putting your
head right in front of another moving human being running in a
different direction and try to stop them. That tackling form is
one of the reasons why so many players have gotten concussions
or head injuries in the past. Not until more recently in 2017,
when coaches had realized that the rules change how the game
is played today, they decided for safety concerns that its time to
try a new technique. They wanted to help protect players more
and today coaches teach players Hawk tackling form, “in which
the defender hits the ballcarrier’s thigh with a shoulder, grabs
him and either spins him or powers him to the ground.”
(Staples) in other words with hawk tackling the defenders head
goes on the back side of the ball carrier staying out of the way
of contact and they wrap there legs and roll, bringing the ball
carrier down. This form tacking is something I feel is very
important for kids who play football or want to play football at
a young age so they can master the skill later, while staying
safe.
Despite how safe I’m saying football is somebody cold
easy say “yeah but it’s still dangerous, nothing is changing
really with these rules I still see players getting concussions and
head injuries.” Which is a respectable opinion to think
football isn’tsafe, but I must disagree with that claim.
After the new helmet and player safety rules have been
implemented over the past few years, in the 2018 NFL season
there was 135 concussions, but the number dropped 29% from
the 2017 season with 190 concussions (Reyes) out of the 1500+

4. players on ever on every teams 53-man roster. To put in other
words, the amount of head injuries is going down at the
professional level since they have been implementing safety
rules and teams switched to practicing hawk form tacking. Now
I’m not going to say that there won’t be any more head injuries
or concussions but its football and anything can happen but if
you do you job right and have good technique, you’re playing in
the safest environment possible.
Today we need coaches everywhere to adopt new
techniques for the safety of there players and if you are a player
can bring this to your coaches’ attention if he still practicing a
different form. We also need more kids playing football and I’d
say now is one of the best times than ever for you, or for you to
let your child play football, with proper coaches and how many
rule changes have been made in the past few years head injuries
have been decreasing in football, and that’s the way its going to
be with more changes in the future as well.
Football has become safer over the past few years,
while less kids have been playing due to the fear of injuries, or
how dangerous the game can be but as I’ve said before, today
football is as safe as its ever been. The players have the most
protection now more than ever as well, we want to start the
younger generations first and teach them how to play football
while staying safe, aware, and good technique.
1. how can I improve thesis
2. does it flow
3. how could I improve call to action or conclusion
Required Sections of the Social Impact Analysis Paper
Abstract:

5. This section provides a brief overview of the paper. It identifies
the design, product, or
concept (DPC) being analyzed. It identifies the more important
ethical arguments for and
against development or deployment of the DPC. It states your
position regarding whether
development or deployment of the DPC should continue.
DPC Background:
This section provide a technical description of the
design/product/concept (DPC).
Explain the technology that enables the DPC. Explain generally
how the DPC works. Keep the
paper balanced. It is very easy to spend the majority of the
paper explaining the technology
and not enough time on the ethical issues. In this section
include the following:
a) Who is responsible or accountable for
creating/producing/building it?
b) What need is it intended to fill?
Stakeholders:
This section Identifies the direct and indirect stakeholders who
might be impacted positively

6. or negatively by deployment of the DPC. Examples of direct
stakeholders might be inventors,
developers, investors, corporations, stockholders, consumers.
Examples of indirect
stakeholders might be competitors, individuals, cultural groups,
business entities,
institutions, governmental agencies, communities, regulatory
agencies, etc. These are not
exhaustive lists. Be sure to include the following:
a) What benefits for stakeholders are anticipated for this DPC
b) What drawbacks for stakeholders are anticipated for this DPC
Ethical Analysis:
This section identifies the most significant ethical issues that
need to be resolved as a result
of developing or deploying the DPC. Explain why these ethical
issues are the most significant.
a) Which of the three ethical theories (utilitarianism, respect for
persons, virtue ethics)
do you find most useful in dealing with each of these ethical
issues? Explain your
reasoning in enough detail to demonstrate critical thinking with
regard to the
mechanics of the approach chosen.

7. b) What elements of the NSPE Code of Ethics or the Code of
Ethics for your discipline
are most relevant to the development or deployment of the DPC.
Social Impact Analysis:
a) What knowledge and skills are needed to deploy or
implement the DPC?
b) What interdisciplinary perspectives would help identify
innovative and non-obvious
solutions to issues that might arise in deploying or
implementing the DPC?
c) What insights can you articulate, based your culture and
other cultures with which
you are familiar, to help understand how the DPC might enable
better societal
outcomes?
Conclusion: Based on your critical analysis provide well-
reasoned arguments why the
development or deployment of the DPC should or should not
continue.
a) What is the most compelling argument in favor of
development or deployment of the

8. DPC
b) What is the most compelling argument against development
or deployment of the
DPC
c) What is your position on the right thing(s) to do regarding
the development or
deployment of the DPC?
List of References:
The references cited in your paper must conform to one of the
following style guides:
a) CSE (Council of Science Editors) - Biology - Scientific Style
and Format: The CSE
Manual for Authors, Editors, and Publishers
b) Chicago Manual of Style - used in the humanities and social
sciences
c) APA (American Psychological Association) - used in the
social sciences
d) MLA (Modern Language Association) - used in literature and
the humanities
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Originality is scored by SafeAssign based on the percent of the
text in your paper that is

9. identical to or similar to other published work. References are
excluded. A good originality
score would be less than 15%. Zero percent would be perfect
but very unlikely as there will
always be some random text matches.
Quoting long sections of text verbatim will significantly lower
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Paraphrasing another author’s text will tend to lower the
originality score. Writing your own
words and critical thinking increases the originality score.
Referencing another author’s ideas
that support or refute your critical thinking is neutral or positive
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Using another author’s work without proper citation is
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zero on the SIA paper.
In our current society there are a variety of sports and a variety
of levels for each. With this comes a wide variety of toughness
and difficulty. This toughness and difficulty that I have
attributed to these sports are dependant upon a variety of factors
including, skill, training, diet, and most importantly, the
mental/physical toughness that is required. Few sports require
an athlete to be proficient in all, and even fewer make it
necessary for an athlete to be excellent in all. Sports I believe

10. that are of this nature include basketball, football, soccer,
lacrosse, wrestling. I also believe that there is one that trumps
each of those and that is running or track. To perform any sport
at the highest level requires years of hardwork and dedication, it
requires putting your sport above all else, but none equal what
it takes to be a runner at the highest level.
This belief comes from years of experience with not only
running, but a majority of the sports listed. At this point in my
life I have been running for seven track seasons and seven cross
country seasons, yet my interest in this discussion was sparked
only three years ago. This realization about the difficulty of
running relative to other sports began sophomore year when I
was in my highschool’s trainer room during the indoor track
season. I happened to be in there with a football player getting
treatment the day before his last game of the season, and a
basketball player getting ready for his first. We were talking
about our upcoming competitions when another basketball
player came in the room offering us french fries. Unfortunately,
and I had to say no. The other two players immediately took up
the offer and asked why I said no. I told them there was no way
I could eat that and still race that night. I explained that it
would give me a cramp, makes me sick to my stomach, or just
make me feel tired and slower. Their response to this is
something I still hear in my head this day: “man that's crazy i
don’t know how you do that sh*t bro, what do you even do at
practice, like just run?” My answer to that question has
unintentionally become the centerpiece of my argument as to
why running is the toughest sport. My answer was:“well its
kinda like your conditioning practices except like everyday.”
Provided that is quite an understatement, I felt it was sufficient
in giving them and myself a basic but strong understanding of
the argument I am presenting today.
In terms of what runners do and how much time it takes,
training for cross country and track and field is vastly different
from what many think. I often hear the argument “all you have
to do is go and run a little bit, that’s so easy” (frustrating

11. member of the golf team). Practices involve different kinds of
workouts, including recovery, “workout days” which are
essentially speed days, and dedicated mileage days. Here is a
week of a training schedule from the article “Go the Distance”
that could help with an understanding of what I mean. My
schedule would be more difficult, in terms of mileage and pace.
Another good aspect of this article is the section on nutrition
and diet. Being as this was what essentially started this whole
thing it is probably a topic that should be included.
As spoken to previously, nutrition and diet are very important
for a runner, I believe they are paramount. Competing at all
sports at a high level requires a proper diet, but running
requires an extra level that is not as necessary in other sports.
This is something easily shown as it pertains to all levels of
running. Look back on your personal experiences with running,
either at the gym, competitively, or even just playing when you
were younger. If you didn’t eat the right thing or at the proper
time, you would undoubtedly get sick pretty quickly. This
carries on as you get older, if a runner indulges on a friday
night with overeating, drinking, or even eating poorly it will
affect your ability to perform in your workout the next morning.
Similar for other sports, if you get drunk then you will be be
hungover, but that it is not my argument. I am saying that the
effects of being hungover and eating five slices of pizza will be
worse in running than other sports. Try eating 5 slices of pizza
and test the difference between a 2 hour basketball practice and
a 40 minute long run. Hint you will most likely throw up while
doing the latter of the two.
While quite obvious, it is still important to mention that this
carries on into competition. I along with many sport fans can
remember reports about NFL Star Marshawn Lynch eating
skittles on the sideline during games. I remember after hearing
this I took it upon myself to think about other sports and if this
would be possible. All seemed quite feasible with the exception
of running and soccer (a sport which requires players to run
almost constantly). Then, I was fortunate enough to see my

12. hypothesis tested when a highschool friend of mine was told he
would have to hop into a race that was to start in 5 minutes.
Normally such conditions would not be horrible, but in this case
he had just downed an entire bag of skittles (just like Lynch).
Wide eyed and worried (due to that specific reason) he lined up
for the race. As expected, when the race was over he had ended
up running a time 15 seconds slower than where he regularly
finished and was on the verge of getting sick.
Runners have to take a lot of precautions when eating before a
meet, many professional’s will choose to avoid nearly anything
other than light carbs and specific fruits and vegetables days
before hand. This is in order to not only have food in you that
don’t make you sick, but to also have your body fully energized.
Which allows you to push yourself as hard as you can
throughout the whole race. Which is definitely not a factor in
all sports.
Football players are given the luxury of timeouts, penalties,
challenges, quarters and even halftimes, where there is complete
stoppage of everything. When this is mentioned in an argument,
many people in the surrounding area choose to chime in. They
tend to agree and say that football is easier because you get
breaks from the physical. While that is true, I argue a different
point to that information that many won’t understand. While
you do not get any breaks from running during a race, you also
get zero breaks from pushing your mind and body. While some
argue that in basketball you are constantly running up and down
the court every single change of possession, one can not argue
that you give your all every single fastbreak and transition.
Running is a nonstop mental game from the gun going off to the
crossing of the finish line.
Keeping in theme, running is the only sport where you have to
give your all every second that the clock is running or you have
lost. Pushing yourself in such a way requires extreme amounts
of physical fitness, and even more importantly: mental strength.
Which I find separates the great runners from the good.
Many do not understand this. They can not understand that

13. running requires one to push themselves in such a way in both
physical and mental capacities. This misunderstanding is often
what sparks the others side’s argument. The most often ignorant
otherside has no experience and in turn an inability to
understand that running is not easy. This often leads to the other
side saying things such as: “running requires zero skill in
basketball you have to be able to shoot, finish, pass, and
dribble.”
While this may be true, the fact that other sports require more
skill. it is inaccurate that running requires none. One's stride
and running posture by itself can be the difference in any given
race. Along with stride there are many other factors of running
that include skills. Running a 1600 meter race (1 mile) is more
than just sprinting for 4 laps. There are specific positions a
runner needs to get to at certain points in the race, there are
certain ways to sit on people and know when and how to move
past them that all require deep skills in order to perform well.
I could go on and on listing different parts of races that require
skill, but what is most important in my refuting of this argument
is running may require less skill than other sports it still
requires a high amount of skill. Other sports may also require a
high amount of skill, and a high amount of dedication,
toughness and determination. But if one were to somehow make
a calculation that combines all of these factors. The factors both
mental and physical that are required to be outstanding in any
given sport, running would have the highest sum. On all levels,
from middle school to pro to part time to stay in shape, running
is the highest, running would win.
Questions
1. How is the conclusion structure, like should the first sentence
be a part of the previous paragraph?
2. Is the works cited page supposed to be double spaced?
3. The last sentence of my intro paragraph is my thesis
statement. Should I split it up into 2 sentences rather than just
the one?

14. (QUESTIONS DOWN BELOW!) Before reading, there are
grammatical errors
Hair is something that you are born with, you live with it and
you style it, right? Do you ever worry about what style you’d
like to wear, well to some, hairstyle fads are a must to keep up
with in today's society. This can be the effect both self
identification and even what you choose to remain. Women
specifically fall under both, struggling with their hair and trying
to keep up with all the latest trends. Hair especially for women
and men of color can be an everyday struggle, not trying to keep
up with trends, but trying to keep up with the different ways in
taming their hair. Textured hair are often put in
braids, faux, locs, and even crochet, these are protective styles.
In pop culture and as seen in media many celebrities rock these
styles, but some fall under ridicule and get bad press. The bad
press is caused by their race and ethnicity, due to them being
white. Not only does this happen to celebrities but many white
people who also choose to rock the style. Although it is seen in
pop culture and media that braid styles like cornrows are seen
as “exotic” by white people. And in pop culture many people of
color either disagree or have a different perspective, this
matters because the perception of it affects the way in which
people of color feel about themselves.
The origin of braids derive from all the way to the
ancient egypt to West Africa, North africa, east africa, and
Africa Diaspora. Braids were not only for stylistic purposes but
also an identification system. the meaning was the brains may
curve or look, it can be an indicator of status, tribe,
masculinity, death, or even belief. The tightly compressed row
of braids, also known as cornrows, originated in the fields of
African American slaves. In the duration of slavery, from the
1400s to 1800s, braid held importance in african culture. In the
1600s, Many of the African slaves had lost their sense of
expression in the traditions and overall the expression of their

15. culture. Slaves scalps were affected by various diseases, like
lice, in which they would have to shave a slaves head. That was
caused by the ownership of the Europeans. The dictation on hair
form Europeans caused them to treat the african slaves
in humaley and belittle them. After slvery, December 18 in
1865, due the forced mummification of to appear like their
owner, many afrircan american continued to portray that with
straightening their hair. This was in the 1900s, where many of
the braids were seen as unprofessional and looked down on. It
soon evolved and became acceptable. In an article called
“cornrows by Tameka Ellington , Ellignton states that an artist
“The singer Mario released a song called “Braid My Hair,”
where he is asking his significant other to cornrow his hair in
order to take away the stress in his life. Getting one’s hair
braided has always been a sign of comfort and camaraderie, a
twenty-first-century example of the continued significance of
the act of cornrow braiding in the African and African diaspora
community. “. Ellignton is saying that braids were so big
that influencersand artists, like Mario appreciated braids and
had a love for them. Braids were and are still seen as
unprofessional in the workplace, overtime it became more
acceptable .
Trends and styles with braids from the past were seen
negatively by white people, but present day some white people
are seen wearing them. White woman shouldnt retain the style
of braids and view them as a “statement” or even just because
of a recurring trend. Growing up, I had long coily curly hair.
My mom would always style my hair in braids and I'd wear
them for a week, wash-day, and repeat. Little decorations like
colored scrunchies and clips would be put in my hair. I didn't
personally mind having braids, instead I minded
the contatnt touvhing of my hair by friends and even teachers.
For every family social event my mom would take me to
a dominican salon and I hated it. They’d wash my hair, pull pins
in my hair, put me under the dryer, and once I was done the
painful process of having my hair pulled and getting burned

16. started. Straight hair is easy to maintain and
in dominican culture straight hair is seen as beautiful. When it
came for me to style my hair it was harder and I began to get
my hair straighten more often. I loved my curly hair but would
be uncomfortable when moving to a school with many white
kids. They would constantly ask “why is your hair so big”, or
even ask, “could you hide my pencil in there”.
From highschool on it became acceptable and many of the white
kids in my school would wear them. It was shocking to have
something that I would be forced in a way to be ashamed of my
natural hair and braids and it was now loved by everyone in my
school. The discovery of culture appropriation became apparent.
Cultural appropriation is when you associate with a culture that
is not the one you truly identify with. When going back to
braids, the same thread of questions in me having curly hair
retired but with braids and would be consistently touched.. In
my process of accepting my hair, embrace my natural hair and
my go-to style has to be braids. White women and men
shouldn't wear braids, in that not only is it that it's something
they don't identify with but it's also meant for textured hair. The
evolution of how braids were viewed, from negative to positive,
was caused by the way it was portrayed by celebrities and pop
culture.
The trend of non-acceptance to acceptance with curly hair does
not only resonate with me from personal experience, but also
with many other people of color with textured hair. For
instance, Brenda Randle, professor at Arkansas State
University, in her article “I Am Not My Hair: African Women
and Their Struggle with embracing Natural Hair!”, speaks on
her experience and many others on the struggle of trying to
embrace their natural hair. Randle questions what good hair
would be defined as and being defined through straight or even
wavy hair, never kinky. She grew up being teased at school due
to her tightly coiled hair. She desired the achievement of having
permanently straight hair. As she grew to be a teen, she wore
her hair straight through chemically processing it. She mentions

17. how she viewed her hair as “good” for other people even though
it was bad for her hair natural hair. randle aims it at what she
saw on television and shows with african american women
adapting to the qualities that Europeans had. She explains how
mainstream media and the history african american women
trying to adapt to the europeanlook affected the way she
looked. This is all caused by the judgement from the
way europeans view African amercian natural hair and their
hairstyles. Hair hold significance and meaning to many women
and men in general. Randle specifies this in saying “For the vast
majority of Black women, hair is not just hair; it contains
emotive qualities that are linked to one’s lived experience
(Thompson, 2009). Hair plays such an important role to the
point that one might even insist women are defined by their
hair. According to Byrd and Tharps (2001) it is impossible to
ignore the fact that pop culture paradigms of beautiful Black
women are coiffed with long, straight hair.” (Randle 116-
117)”. Randle is explaining that hair is something that holds a
lot of value for many black women and in pop culture it is seen
that black women are seen wearing long straight
hair. Idententification and acceptionof having textured is often
difficult , due the perceptions by pop culture put on black
women and people of color with textured hair.
Some may say that braids are simply a fashionable hairstyle
and can be worn by everyone. Braids are seen on celebrities like
Kim Kardashian, katy perry, kylie jenner, gigi hadid, and many
more. From the grown inspiration and trend of celebrities
wearing them, someone is going to want to replicate that look.
They are stylish and different, who wouldn’t want to wear
them? When white people wear braids it is viewed as
“controversial” or sometimes even “trendy”. With it being
controversial, it starts conversation about race and cultural
appropriation. For example in the article “what should white
people do?”, written by Linda Martin Alcoff, professor of
philosophy of race, discuss how white people wearing black
hairstyles like braids are not too bad. Alcoff starts this off by

18. mentioning how a group of white female students at North
Newton Junior-Senior High School in Indiana by Morocco,
began to wear braids, dreadlocks, baggy jeans, an even
associated with hip-hop culture. Many of the white people in the
town reported that they “act black” and would get ridicule from
the male students in the school. A couple of months later,
bombs scared, death threats and Ku Klux Klan rallies occured at
the school. In response, a male student said that they should be
what they are, white. The group of white girls started all these
events to occur in their school and gave this issue
spotlight. Alcoffexpands on this by stating “In a situation in
which political power cannot be mapped, economic power exists
on no fixed grid, and the causal relations between politics,
economics, and culture have no stability, it is possible to hope
that enough incidents like the Moroco cse might be just the
catalyst needed.” (Alcoff 16). Alcoff is explaining that
sometimes when people appropriate or cross over culturally it
can bring up a conversation needed to be discussed. Issues like
this can be seen negatively at first but spark up a conversation
on what needs to be seen and heard.
Braids and textured are both things that some people can
associate with or even disassociate with, it can come from
personal experience or what can be caused the perception
played out in pop culture. To add on to Alcoffs point, it is in
fact true that many of the controversies seen by white
celebrities and even white people, give many people of color or
even people in general a reason to talk about the issues of race
and culture. As a whole cultural appropriation is something that
shouldn't be taken lightly or unheard, as bad as it is it is
beneficial. When people get outraged or in disagreement, like
myself, we find ways in educating not only ourselves but others
around us. It is wrong though, when African Americans and
people of color are raised to believe that their hair or hairstyle
is not acceptable, similar to me and Randle. When it comes to
situations like these, it is different in that when white people
wear braids it is insensitive. It takes people of color who come

19. from experiences like these and are still experiencing things
like that to have to slightly overcome their defensive reaction to
white people wear braids. Everyone has a right to choose the
way in which they express themselves and can freely identify
with things that may fall into disagreement. No matter what
white people wearing or even associating black culture as theirs
is like they are stealing an identity that many people of color
and black people have struggled and worked so hard to obtain.
Hair-wise styles like braids are not for straight hair and can in
fact damage non-textured hair. It can cause baldness and
thinning hair. This is important because with textured hair and
these styles it is meant to retain moisture and lock it in.
Textured hair tends to be dryer than non- textured hair, as a
result of this it is better for textured hair than straight hair. Pop
culture and media shouldnt affect what we do and how we feel
but if celebrities implemented the education on knowing what is
right not only for their hair but culturally then it would be less
of an issue.
When sitting at the salon chair and you want braids or a
specified hairstyle, take precautions. What it is meant by saying
that, is that you should look beyond them just being “cute” or
“trendy”, look at the history behind them. What you choose to
do, is your decision. It is always a good thing to be more
knowledgeable in the things you do and say. When it comes to
braids, don’t think that you can’t do braids in general. The
options for acceptable styles would be dutch braids and
even french braids. Take into account of how people may feel
and even after reading this sympathize with the stories and
experiences told. As mentioned before, educate yourself and the
people around you. It is not only problematic to wear braids, but
also damaging to non- textured hair. In addition, hair is not the
only issue but branches off into many others, like fashion, and
identification. Some white people can easily attempt to identify
as black or another culture. This sucks because many people of
color can’t pick and choose who they are. And the exception of
being born the way they are becomes a journey of trying to

20. appreciate their culture and accept who they are. The unfairness
of white people being able to morph into different cultures is
very apparent and continues to be. Whatever a person chooses
to do whether it be for the satisfaction of being on trend or just
wanting to do so, is their decision.
It will always be seen in pop culture as “exotic” and different
to white people. This issue is important because it
causes africanamerican and people of color to have negative
feelings on who they are and how they see themselves. This can
form into insecurities and non-acceptance. Women especially
take their hair as a part of who they are. Hair is not only
something that you wear but what you represent. In today's
society the constant competition of trying to be different can
cause issues along the way, whether it be cultural appropriation
or even crossing-over culturally. Very few celebrities take into
account on their mistakes and apologize, while others just take
the backlash by being discussed. This relates to even in
different environments, like school, in the work, and many
more, where people of color find themselves seeing what they
were told was un- acceptable to be acceptable by white people
wearing or obtaining those things. Also the perception of
certain things can have a negative connotation when people
color wear braids or other styles but then when a white person
wears it, its seen as “high fashion”. It is still apparent today,
but it is slowly improving. There has since began where many
people of color are going natural and embracing their textured
hair. It is even playing out in pop culture where many women of
color are taking a stance against those europeanstylistic
standards. In the future for generations to come, there is a hope
in young black girls being able to idolize other black women
through wearing their hair natural.
Questions:
1. With reading is do you as a reader feel engaged and
interested?
2. should I speak more on pop culture and include real tweets
that correlate to celebrities apologizing or not?

21. 3. I am aware that my paper is a little lengthy, what parts in my
essay should I cut out and reduce?
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Should Student-Athletes Be Paid
College athletics has more controversy today for different
reasons. The main issue surrounding the athletes that perform as
amateurs for the NCAA is they do not get paid. The NCAA is
the National Collegiate Athletic Association. They are a non-
profit organization that was originally started for college
football. Their main focus is to keep athletes at all the
institutions they oversee and to keep an even playing field for
all. The amateur status prohibits all athletes from getting paid
for participation or having an agent. Student-athletes represent
the Universities they were recruited to and bring in money for
Universities. It is clear that the NCAA has no clear decision as
of recently after California is the first state to start moving
towards athletes being paid. Therefore, students should not be
able to make money while being an athlete in college due to the
scholarships awarded to student-athletes and the tuition for the
entire University could increase. However, some say that the
revenue should go back to the athletes and pay for play is
justifiable.
Many student-athletes are recruited by Universities and
awarded athletic scholarships to continue their athletic careers.
At the 2004 U.S. Army All American bowl the top football
recruits were asked a series of questions by USA Today. One of
the questions was “Is getting a scholarship to play college
football enough for what you put into the game and what the
school gets out of your performance”(USA Today, 2004). Sixty-
one recruits a scholarship was enough and eighteen did not.
This shows that many recruits are not expecting to be paid
outside of a scholarship because they realize they are getting
paid in the form of a scholarship. At Northwestern University “

22. most of the kids at Northwestern are getting a scholarship worth
about $60,000, but most of them will never make anywhere near
$60,000 playing football anywhere else.”(Mark Guarino). At a
school that is well-known for its football program most players
are getting more than the average student at a University.
If student-athletes were to get paid the tuition would increase at
all institutions. With tuition rates already getting expensive “
this wealth transfer may lead to an increase in the cost of
attendance for all students as institutional funds are redirected
to support monetary awards for athletes.” (Tom Sullivan). The
increase will make students and their families unhappy “The
most forceful voices may come from parents and faculty who
face soaring tuition hikes, departmental budget cuts, and other
shortages at the same universities where athletic revenues are at
a surplus.”(Mark Guarino). This will lead to fewer people going
to college and going straight to the workforce or trade schools.
The tuition rising it will eventually hurt universities due to low
enrollment rates. With low enrollment rates, it will force
professors and school officials out of jobs just for college
athletes to earn money. Schools that are bigger and in a well-
known conference will “simply put, the large sports revenue-
driven institutions will have a monopoly-like power and ability
to dominate the recruitment market, resulting in a suppression
of competition.”(Tom Sullivan). This imbalance will affect
small universities like the University of Hartford. Hartford
athletics does not have a better revenue than a school that is
nationally ranked for basketball with multiple national
championships.
Some people think that college athletes should get some of the
revenue they help generate and pay for play is good. The NCAA
is very profitable and “beyond school-issued scholarships, the
NCAA is funneling $750 million over 11 years into funds
designed to directly benefit athletes. One will make a projected
$11.33 million available this school year to needy athletes
looking to cover clothing, emergency travel and educational and

23. medical expenses.” (Steve Wieberg). This is enough money for
each athlete to receive some amount of money. These student-
athletes are working a full-time job while still attending school
full time. A former Northwestern quarterback said he “
estimates that he spent as many as 60 hours a week on football-
related activities during summer training camps. During the
season, that fell to 40 to 50 hours a week” (Mark Guarino). This
leads to athletes not being able to get a job and pay for
everyday expenses that are not covered under the scholarship
for attending the school.
The NCAA had been against paying student-athletes for a long
time. It would ruin collegiate sports. Those reasons a student-
athlete should have more negatives than positives than many
realize. The first question is “Where would the money come
from? Most athletic departments do not make a profit.” (Myles
Brand). This being said this would have to lead to the “non-
revenue sports would have to be cut because there wouldn’t be
sufficient funds” (Myles Brand). This would lead most schools
to only have one or two athletic programs. Another outcome is
only to pay the basketball and football players. However “
paying only men’s basketball and football players would be
challenged in court. Title IX suits would be filed because
female athletes wouldn’t get similar funds.” (Myles Brand).
Title IX is a big issue still to this date with female sports and
now if you throw money in, it becomes an even bigger issue.
Myles Brand who was the NCAA president in 2004 said “we
have a model for paying players. It’s called professional
sports,” (Myles Brand). This is a very accurate statement. The
college-level is meant for getting an education while continuing
your athletic careers.
I would like people to understand there is more negatives to
paying student-athletes than positives. Many students do not
have the talent to make it to the professional level but are
getting full scholarships to play for a University. These people
need to realize what paying college athletes will do for the sport
and the schools. Also, student-athletes make the choice to

24. continue their athletic careers at the collegiate level or not.
There will always be a debate about whether student-athletes
should be paid or not. This is important because it can ruin the
love of the game for some athletes and make it more like
professional sports. Many fans love college sports because
there's no money involved. Students have scholarships to help
pay for their education and if athletes were to be paid it would
lead to an increase in tuition at schools. College sports have
helped students in different ways but paying them is not fair for
every athlete at different institutions of different sizes.
QUESTIONS
1. Is the thesis clear?
2. Does the essay flow?
3. Does the concussion connect to the thesis?
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As an American citizen, I find it important to understand and
recognize the realities in the country, even if they are not
always good. The reality is that prisons and jails are ran all
across the country treat their inmates as less than and go to
extreme lengths to dehumanize them which is where the
discussion of solitary confinement comes in. There is consistent
examples of that isolation has proven to do more harm than
good to the people in jails and outside across the country. The
way inmates are treated while in prison is horrendous but the
experience inside of solitary confinement is even worse for
most if not all of those who experience it. The American
government needs to make major changes to their isolation
systems in order to avoid the drastic tolls solitary confinement
takes on an inmate.
If you were to walk into a prison, you may not have a full
understanding of the different places within the jail. There are
different sections to jail but the two most known is the general

25. population and solitary confinement. General population is most
likely the aspect of prison you would recognize. Cells with bunk
beds, a common area with tables, the inmates have the
opportunities to go outdoors and see their families for
visitations. In solitary confinement, “The cells are tiny, six to
eight feet wide and ten to twelve long. Instead of a bunk and a
stool, as in the movies, there are immovable concrete slabs;
instead of a lattice of bars, steel plated doors”(Heffernan). The
process of being placed into solitary confinement isn’t as
complicated as one may believe it is. When you first enter a
prison you go through the processing system in which it is
determined if you should be on suicide watch. If you are said to
be suicidal, you will most likely be placed in isolation and that
is just one example of the people they place in isolation,
Inmates can be placed in solitary confinement for fighting,
talking back to the guards and even just because of
overcrowding in the general population of the jail. ““Many are
put in such quarters during pre-trial investigations. Others are
housed there because regular cells are full. Kids, minorities or
those who are gay or transgender may be placed in solitary
confinement for protection from other inmates, even if they
prefer to be in a traditional cell. Some are sent there for minor
prison infractions, such as swearing or ignoring orders. The
mentally ill are often locked in isolation” (Mcmanus). The risk
of inmates mental health declining soars when they are placed
into solitary confinement given the fact that they are completely
separated from society, human interaction and just comfort in
general.
The Stanford Prison Experiment was one that added to my
interest on the topic of solitary and prison as a whole. In short,
the experiment followed college students, half pretending to be
inmates and half pretending to be guards. The experiment ended
unexpectedly due to the “guards” power hungry attitudes and
the declining mental health of the participants posing as
inmates. The experiment was groundbreaking in the arguments
against the prison systems as, “it became a legendary landmark

26. study of the propensity for dehumanization involved in
operating a system where people have authority for the custody
and control of others” (Bornus) as well as the conditions that
“became so inhumane that two prisoners had emotional
breakdowns and were released from the experiment, while
others went on hunger strikes or plotted escapes.”(Bornus). The
participants posing as inmates suffered mental breakdowns as
well as uncharacterized outbursts that they would have never
exhibited before which was triggered by the contained
environment they were in and the way they were treated much
like animals with no human needs. This is just one experiment
that exemplifies the danger of being in jail and in solitary due
to the power given to the guards and the lack of humanity
shown to the inmates.
Mental health is never taken as seriously as it should be in any
location, let alone in the prison systems here in America. There
are more mentally ill people in prison then there are in mental
health facilities. When inmates stay in solitary confinement for
long periods of time, it has been proven to exacerbate and
worsen mental health problems and/or trigger mental illness.
Opposers may say that confinement aids prisoners and helps to
build character, that the inmate deserved to be arrested and be
placed in jail. Bouncing off of that, multiple research studies
have been done to debunk this idea. “Solitary confinement used
to mean a short stay to punish serious rule violations. But
prisons and jails now lock away inmates for months, even years,
for small infractions—and sometimes for no infraction at
all”(Wood). Many inmates released from isolation struggle
immensely with reconnecting and stepping back into normal
behaviors which is a huge representation of how the system is
flawed and needs to be changed. No one deserves to be put into
a place where they are being treated as an animal and placed in
inhumane conditions. Prison was originally developed as a place
for rehabilitation, not punishment and that is exactly what
solitary has come to.
There is much you can do in order to change the way the

27. American prison system works. The one that will be most
effective and show the most signs of positive change would be
the removal of solitary confinement as a whole. We need to be
more aware of the things happening around us and the people
who are being affected by the unjust way they are treated. As
mentioned before, the American Prison system is beyond an
unjust system for the American people and the way they are
treated leads to mental health problems; sometimes beyond
repair. Solitary confinement needs to be removed from state,
county and federal prisons in order to regain the original intent
of arresting and placing inmates in jail. A success story for
prison rehabilitation would be in Sweden, there jails are
centered around rehabilitation instead of punishment and they
lead an exemplary example of what that looks like. In Sweden,
their drastic approach to eliminating solitary and punishment to
inmates have shown major declines in the amount of arrests
made since 2002. The main idea of a Swedish prison is
rehabilitation of the prisoners. The rehabilitation goal is met
through giving the inmates library access, courses in high
school and college level classes, comfortable environments, and
given the ability to work. These steps that Sweden has taken
have shown major growth in their prison systems and showed
exemplary action in taking into account the mental health and
the future of the inmates.
Taking into account the major tolls that solitary and prison as a
whole take on an inmate in America, it is made extremely clear
that the American government needs to change their isolation
systems in order to avoid the drastic tolls solitary confinement
takes on an inmate. The differences between solitary and
isolation are drastic as well as the effects of each on an inmate
should be enough to change the course of the way the system
works for inmates in order to better them and create more of a
positive environment and outcome for the inmates after their
release.

28. COLLAPSE
Top of Form
1- How can I improve my arguments without making it boring?
2- How can I incorporate more sources to support my claims?
3- Is my thesis clear enough?
Bottom of Form
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