How do we learn about our various group identities like female, African American, Buddhist, homosexual, middle class, etc.? From whom do we learn the meaning of these terms? What messages have we internalized about ourselves and others? What are the differences that result in one person having a healthy self identity and another person experiencing own-group shame and hatred? Learn how we co-author peers' identity as well as our own, how the cycle of oppression and cycle of bullying pressure us to reinforce stereotypes, and what we can do as allies to break these cycles and work toward inclusion of all.
Interactive Powerpoint_How to Master effective communication
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Somersfield Academy Identity and Inclusion
1. Somersfield Academy
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Seattle Girlsâ School
Who We Are:
Identity, Inclusion, and Allyship
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
3. ď§ What is it?
ď§ What are the various
dimensions of
identity?
ď§ Why does it matter?
Identity Development
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
4. Dimensions of Identity and Culture
This model of identifiers and culture was created by Karen Bradberry and Johnnie Foreman for NAIS Summer Diversity Institute,
adapted from Loden and Rosenerâs Workforce America! (1991) and from Diverse Teams at Work, Gardenswartz & Rowe (SHRM 2003).
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
5. National Coalition Building Institute, Seattle Chapter, âBuilding Bridges Workshop,â Adapted by Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
⢠Stand proudly for your group
⢠Stand for as many groups
within one category
as applies to you
⢠If you are not standing,
cheer and applaud
the people who are
Exercise: Up-Downs
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
14. Debrief: Who Am I?
How did it feel to claim
various identities and
experiences? What did it
feel like to be applauded for
your identities and
experiences? To applaud
others? Did you learn
anything new, interesting,
or surprising?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
15. ď§ Identity Frames
ď§ Intractability
ď§ Co-Authorship of Identity
Identity and Cultural Inclusion
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
18. Becoming the Adults
We Want to Be
Adolescent Brain Development
Peer Pressure
The Pressure of Being Middle
Backstage and Frontstage Spaces
Path of Least Resistance
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
19. An Ally IsâŚ
âa person who is a member of the dominant or
majority group who works to end oppression in
his or her personal and professional life
through support of, and as an advocate with
and for, the oppressed populationâ
Washington and Evans, Becoming an Ally
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
20. An Ally IsâŚ
âSomeone who doesnât have to stand up for
someone else, who might even lose something
if they do, but they do it anyway because they
know itâs the right thing to doâ
Anna, 6th Grader
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
21. Bystander to Ally
Karen Bradberry, PhD
Active Passive Passive Active
Agent Bystander Ally
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
23. Speaking From the Heart
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
24. What Weâre Thinking and Feeling
When Receiving an Ouch Moment
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Did that really
happen? Do they
realize? I want to
trust, but Iâve had
this happen so
many times before.
I am so stressed,
confused, hurtâŚ.
25. What We End Up Saying
When Receiving an Ouch Moment
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
That was so
offensive!
I canât believe
you did that!
26. Self Advocacy Through an Ouch Moment
ď§ Affirm the person or relationship
ď§ Describe the behavior without judgment
ď§ Explain the emotion/impact and your filters
ď§ Assume positive intent
ď§ Request or suggest different behavior
*** Key Points: timing, I statements, actions not
adjectives, inside feelings not outside feelings***
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
27. Self Advocacy Through an Ouch Moment:
An Example
Is this an okay time to talk to you about something
that happened earlier? I really appreciate having
you as a friend. Youâve helped me through tough
times, and we have so much fun together. Earlier
today, when I got my math test back and I got 98%,
I heard you say, âWell of course you got a 98% -
youâre Asian!â I was really hurt when I heard that.
I work so hard in all my classes and spend a lot of
effort to earn good grades, and it seems like so
many people assume itâs because of my race. Itâs
frustrating and saddening to feel like I donât get to
fully own my accomplishments. I imagine you
didnât mean for me to feel that way. Can I ask that
you please donât say things like that anymore?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
29. What Weâre Thinking and Feeling
When Witnessing an Ouch Moment
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
I canât believe this
is happening.
Thatâs SO not
right. Should I
say something?
Am I butting in?
Would it help?
I am so upset!
30. What We End Up Saying
When Witnessing an Ouch Moment
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
31. What Others Hear When We Say Nothing
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
See? They
agree with me!
I am so right
about this.
No one sees or
understands. I
am alone.
32. NCBI Effective
Interventions Model
ď§ Reduce Defensiveness
â Tone
â Body Language
â Respect
ď§ Keep the Conversation Going
â Hear Them Out
â Ask Open-Ended Questions
â Set Aside Your Feeling for the Moment
â Dialogue
ď§ Build the Relationship
ď§ Stop the Behavior
ď§ Win an Ally
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
33. Say Something to Somebody
ď§ Now or Later (or Say It Now About a Later)
ď§ Target, Agent, Fellow Bystanders, Authority Figures
âIn the End, we will remember not the words of
our enemies, but the silence of our friends.â
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
34. Intervening in the Ouch Moment: Examples
ď§ Seek pleasure and delight in the other person
â âHow many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?â
â âIâm SO glad you told me that joke. Iâve been trying to figure out why we think people
with yellow hair are stupid.â
ď§ Find out the experience motivating the comment
â âWhy canât they just speak English around here?â
â âIt must be hard not to understand what people are saying around you.â
â âIâm sick of my tuition paying for scholarship students.â
â âTell me more about that.â
ď§ Use exaggerated humor to highlight whatâs going on
(use sparingly)
â âThat movie is so gay.â
â âThat movie is attracted to other movies? I didnât know that was possible!â
ď§ Join the person and do not make yourself superior
â âShe got that award because sheâs black and female.â
â âYou know, I hear that a lot. Iâve been trying to figure out why we seem to think when a
black woman gets recognized it must be because of âdiversityâ stuff rather than that she
earned it.â
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
35. Listening to the Real Message
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
36. What Was Said During the Intervention
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Those words or
actions are
hurtful to me.
Please stop.
37. What We Hear During the Intervention
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
You are a
bad, bad
person, and I
hate you!
38. What We Should Hear
During the Intervention
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
You are basically a good
and decent person. As
with all of us, youâve
made a mistake in
behavior or words, and
you may not know the
impact they have on
others. I am going to
give you the gift of
information so that you
might act in congruence
with your values.
39. When Youâre Told About
an Ouch Moment You Made
ď§ Listen with full attention
ď§ Donât try to defend or respond right away
â Take deep breaths
â Acknowledge your feelings
ď§ Your mistakes donât define you
â Be worthy of their trust and gift
ď§ Prioritize the Impact over Intent
â Apologize for real
*** Moving through these moments with grace is
called shame resilience. Itâs a vital skill***
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
40. When Youâre Told About
the Ouch Moment You Created:
Examples
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
ď§ âI really appreciate your telling me this.â
ď§ âIâm so embarrassed that I did that.â
ď§ âIâm so sorry my words and actions made you feel
that way. No matter what I intended, it hurt you.â
ď§ âIâm pretty overwhelmed right now, and I donât
want to respond in a way Iâd regret. Do you think
you can help me come up with a better way to
handle that situation after I get into a calmer
place?â
ď§ âI wanted to go back to a moment I donât think I
handled very well⌠Can we talk?â
41. âThe thing that is really
hard, and really amazing, is
giving up on being perfect
and beginning the work of
becoming yourself.â
Anna Quindlan
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
42. Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girlsâ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
http://tiny.cc/rosettalee
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
43. Identity Resources
⢠Carlos H. Arce, âA Reconsideration of Chicano Culture
and Identityâ
⢠Atkinson, Morten, & Sue, âRacial/Cultural Identity
Development Model (R/CID)â
⢠Mindy Bingham and Sandy Stryker, âSocioemotional
Development for Girlsâ
⢠Vivienne Cass, âHomosexual identity formation: Testing
a theoretical modelâ
⢠William Cross, Shades of Black: Diversity in African
American Identityâ
⢠Anthony DâAugelli, â Identity development and sexual
orientation: Toward a model of lesbian, gay, and
bisexual developmentâ
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
44. Identity Resources
⢠Erik Erikson, âEight Stages of Manâ
⢠J. E. Helms, Various Publications on Racial and Ethnic
Identity Development
⢠Jean Kim, âProcesses of Asian American Identity
Developmentâ
⢠James Maricia, âFour Ego and Identity Statusesâ
⢠Suzanne Kobasa Ouellette, âThe Three Câs of
Hardinessâ
⢠Jean S. Phinney, âEthnic Identity in Adolescents and
Adults: Review of the Researchâ
⢠Ponterotto & Pederso, Preventing Prejudice
⢠Maria P. P. Root, Various Works on Multiracial Identity
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
45. Identity Resources
⢠Patricia Romney, Karlene Ferron, and Jennifer Hill,
âMeasuring the Success of Diversity Directors in
Independent Schoolsâ
⢠Pedro Ruiz, âLatino/a Identity Development Modelâ
⢠Chalmer E. Thompson and Robert T. Carter, Racial
Identity Theory
⢠Alex Wilson, âHow We Find Ourselves: Identity
Development and Two Spirit Peopleâ
⢠Christine J. Yeh, âThe Collectivistic Nature of Identity
Development Among Asian-American College
Studentsâ
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
46. Miscellaneous Resources
⢠Karen Bradberry and Johnnie Foreman, âPrivilege and
Power,â Summer Diversity Institute, National Association
of Independent Schools, 2009
⢠Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, Nurture Shock
⢠Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education
Network) www.glsen.org
⢠Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference
⢠Johnnie McKinley, âLeveling the Playing Field and Raising
African American Studentsâ Achievement in Twenty-nine
Urban Classrooms,â New Horizons for Learning,
http://www.newhorizons.org/strategies/differentiated/
mckinley.htm
Michael J Nakkula and Eric Toshalis, Understanding Youth.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)