This workshop summarizes the key ideas from Tara Mohr's Playing Big book. The ideas discussed include naming your inner critic, nurturing your inner mentor, leaping into opportunities, understanding pachad vs. yirah fear, and communicating with power.

1. Playing
Big
Workshop
Welcome to the…..
with Dr. Kristin Palmer

2. HOUSEKEEPING
You’ll get the
slides via email
Please provide
feedback in the
survey
Please mute
when not
speaking
On or off
camera is
a-ok
This is a safe place

3. Format for today’s workshop
● Introductions
● Coaching vs. Therapy
● High-level takeaways on the book
● Active discussion and engagement
● Follow up email with slides, tools/templates, and survey

4. Dr. Kristin Palmer
CEO, Life Coach, Builder, Woman who gets stuff done, Crusader for Improving the World through Education.

6. Tara Mohr wrote this book
because she sees lots of
super awesome women in
individual contributor roles
vs. C-level roles.
She is working to get those
cool chicks to have more
powerful voices and careers.

7. Visualizations - Meditations - Journaling

8. We All Have Inner Critics

9. Till Death Do Us Part
Inner Critics are with us - FOREVER.

10. Notice and Name the Critic
Where do they live?
What do they wear?
What do they eat for breakfast?
Name your character and call
her by name when it shows up.

11. Best Intentions, but…
Thanks, I’ve got this
one covered.

13. https://www.taramohr.com/book/inner-mentor-signup/

14. Inner critics talk….
A LOT.

15. Inner mentors tend
to be quiet…
Until asked.

16. Ask her.
What would she do?

17. Unfamiliar but Familiar
Simple Answers
Surprising
Authentic
Fully-Expressed You
Free From Fear
Grow Into Your Inner Mentor

18. What would my inner mentor do in this situation?
Make a collage to illustration your inner mentor.
Spend some time in the week the way she would want to spend it.
What would she eat, then make those meals.
Dress like your inner mentor.
How would she write this email?
How would she relate to this person?
How would you inner mentor see this situation?

19. FEAR
Pachad (scared of the dark) vs. Yirah (Can I do it?)

20. Yirah
The feeling when we
inhabit a larger space that
we are used to.
The experience when we
suddenly have more energy
than before.
The feeling in the presence
of the divine.

21. For yirah…
Welcome it, savor it, lean in

22. Tap into your inner mentor.
Shift from fear and invite love in.
Get curious.Label it.
Shift into another state.
Reconnect to your desire to serve.
Talk with your younger self.
Analyze truth, possibility, probability.
Be in the present.Breathe.
Follow the fear to the endgame.
Do a physical relaxation.
Visualize something calming.
Use music. Move through it.

23. Unhook
from
praise
and
criticism.

24. Feedback tells you about the person giving you feedback.

25. Incorporate useful feedback.
Let the rest go.

26. Women who play big get criticized. Period.

27. Criticism hurts when it mirrors what we
believe about ourselves.

28. Leave the good student behind.
Challenge authority
You are ready now
You know the answer
Make your work VISIBLE

29. Are you hiding?

30. I need to do this before
I can do that.

31. Designing at the
whiteboard.

32. Overcomplicated
Endless Polishing

33. Collecting/Curating Ideas

34. Omitting Your Story

35. I need a degree….

36. LEAP
Play big now
Finish in 1-2 weeks
Simple to say
Tinge of yirah
Connects with intended audience
Helps you learn

37. A leap isn’t….
Sharing with family and friends
Just a decision
Solitary
Taking a course

38. Just Kind of/Almost
Sorry, but…
A little bit. A few minutes of your time.
Disclaimers - I’m no expert, but… Does that make sense?
Uptalk - raising your pitch at the end of your sentence.
Run on and on and on and on sentences.
Substituting a question for a statement.

39. Hedges Just
Actually
Kind of
Almost
Apologies Sorry, but
Just a minute
A little bit
Qualifying Phrases I’m no expert, but
I know you’ve all been doing this longer than me…
I could be wrong, but…
I’m just thinking off the top of my head…
Does this make sense?
Undermining Structures Uptalk and sing songy tone
Clause after clause - no periods in speech
Substituting a question for a statement
Undermining Speech Habits

40. First, is the person warm?
Then, is the person competent?

41. Callings.
Vivid pain or frustration around the status quo of a particular issue.
Power vision of what to do.
You feel huge resistance - part of you wants to run the other way.
You feel “this work is mine to do.”
You feel a sense of meaning and rightness and immense energy when you do the work.
You don’t - yet - have everything you need to complete the task.
You aren’t - yet- the person you need to be to complete the task.
The journey is the reward.

42. I have to pay the bills.
It’s too big. It’s unrealistic.
My calling is too small. It’s selfish or frivolous.
But I’m not an expert at that.

43. Let it be easy.
1. Set “gift-goals” not “should-goals.”
2. Find champions and sources of accountability.
3. See yourself in partnership with a larger force.
4. Create a plan based on your unique strengths and resources.
5. Make it the default.
6. Compassionately investigate when you get stuck.

44. Should-Goal Gift-Goal
Get the body of a fitness trainer. Move every day to increases my
quality of life and overall health.
Clean the house. Keep the house organized so it
supports my serenity every day.
Make partner. Move into a professional leadership
role that I find fulfilling and that meets
my financial needs.

45. You loser, get off your ass and get to work.
Honey, what’s going on? Why are you not doing
the work?

46. Welcome to the
Transition Team.

47. Thank you!
Dr. Kristin Palmer
http://www.CentralOregonLifeCoach.com

48. The Inner Critic….
Harsh, rude, and/or mean.
Binary - it’s black or white, all or nothing, this or that
Seem like they are a voice of reason - what seems to be in your best interest.
The voice of “You aren’t ready yet.”
The voice of “You aren’t good at math/negotiating/technical stuff.
The voice of body-perfectionism.
The tape - feels like an audio tape running on continuously.
A broken record - tends to rehash a few core narratives for decades.
Irrational but persistent - we know what they say isn’t rational but it still has power over us.
The one-two punch - first attacks and then shames you.
The inner critic may take inspiration from critical people in your life.

49. Troubleshooting Visualizations
If you are too distracted, try to do something calming first (drink tea, take a walk, dim lights,
etc) or reduce distractions (wear eye mask, put in ear plugs, etc…).
If you fall asleep then sit in a chair rather than lying down and/or pick a time during the day
when you are alert.
If you see a critic-ridden version of your inner mentor, visualize your inner critic, acknowledge
them, then do the inner mentor visualization again.
If you don’t like the journey - like the light beams in Tara Mohr’s Inner Mentor visualization -
then try a different one like taking a boat across a lake or hiking on a trail up a mountain.

50. Interpreting Your Inner Mentor Visualization
Explore symbols.
Don’t try to pin down an interpretation of what you saw in your visualization.
Be open to all the ways your inner mentor communicates.
Look up your inner mentor’s name.
Keep your inner mentor close.

51. Inner Critic Realistic Thinking
Makes definite pronouncements about the situation Asks curious questions about the situation
Has no interest in actual evidence Interested in gathering evidence to inform conclusions
Thinks and speaks in black-and-white terms Is able to deal with complexity and gray areas
Asks binary yes/no questions Asks helpful, open-ended questions
Is repetitive Is forward-moving
Focuses on problems/areas of lack Seeks solutions
Speaks in an anxious tone Speaks in a calm tone
Speaks from a fundamental stance of self-critique Speaks from a fundamental stance of self-support

52. What to do when self-doubt shows up:
1. Label and notice.
2. Separate the “I” from the inner critic. -> I am freaking out vs. My inner critic is
freaking out.
3. Create a character that personifies your inner critic.
4. Compassionately see your inner critic’s motives. (Thanks for your concern about
XYZ, but I’ve got that covered for now)
5. Look for the humor.
6. Remove your critic from the scene - imagine them leaving the space you are in.
7. Pantomime putting all your inner critic thoughts into a vessel.
8. Picture the voice receding into space.
9. Imagine an “inner critic volume control knob” and go ahead and turn it down.
10. Don’t try to attack or argue with your inner critic.

53. Getting to Know Your Inner Critic Journal Exercises
1. What does it say when you contemplate speaking up about something that feels
scary or a stretch during an important meeting at work?
2. When you think about making a career move that excites you?
3. When you come up with a big idea?
4. About starting a website or blog of some kind?
5. When you walk into a party where you don’t know many people?
6. When you are feeling challenged as a parent, wife, or daughter?
7. About reclaiming a creative hobby or sharing your creative work with others?
8. When you’re getting dressed in the morning?
9. When you look in the mirror?
10. When you are trying on clothes in a store or getting dressed for an important event?
11. What is their motive? Why are you saying that to me? What are you trying to
achieve by saying that?

54. How does pachad show up in your life and career?
1. To help us recognize future dangers > what potential future emotional dangers to do
you fear? How do those fears about the future impact the present?
2. Escape and avoidance > what are you avoiding or escaping right now because you are
afraid?
3. Fears as a result of painful experiences > what happened earlier in your life that has
informed your fear response?
4. Watching others through fearful experiences > what did you learn by watching others
go through that painful or fear-inducing experience?
5. How do you generalize from specific fear-inducing experiences > how is your specific
fear being generalized into a wider set of situations?
6. What do we perceive as threats where they don’t exist and miss where they are > what
kind of irrational, overreacted fears invade your consciousness? What ways do you
fear the wrong thing?