how to communicate

1. Learn how to communicate and
express yourself. . .

2. Placating 讨好型
“This is my fault”
"I’m not good and make you suffer"
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have”
Blaming 指责型
"Look, it’s your fault"
“It is because you”
“why didn’t you?”

3. Irrelevant 打岔型
If you say A, he avoids saying B, always change topics.
Interrupts people.
your dad asks how you did on the test? But you replied,
"I'm very hungry!"
Super reasonable 超理智型
"everyone must study hard, you can afford
hardship, and you will have a good future“.
“Where there is a will there is a way.”
Always talk about the principles of life...we
should/we have to...

4. How to achieve congruence?
 Be aware of your feelings and thoughts. Respect and
accept your own feelings and do not judge yourself.
 Respect and pay attention to the feelings and
thoughts of others.
 Consider whether the context (situation) is suitable
for expression.
 No blame, no placating, no distractions, no super
reasonable.
 Our feelings, saying, and doing will be kept in sync.
 Our internal and external performance, my verbal
(spoken language) and non-verbal (such as posture,
tone of voice, facial expression) is consistent with.
 Can accurately assess the situation and communicate
our feelings, desires, and intentions.
一致性型

5.  Express your feelings and thoughts instead
of accusing others of being wrong. (No
blame, no placating, no distractions, no
super reasonable)
 The words a person uses are consistent
with a person's emotions, tone, facial
expressions, and body language.
 The “i message” helps promote positive
communication in interpersonal
relationships because sharing feelings and
thoughts in an honest and open manner
can help build a harmonious relationship
with each other.
message
1. When I. . . : Observed facts
2. I feel. . . : Tell your inner feelings.
3. I hope. . . : Tell the specific method and
your expectation.
The main steps of i message are,
Step 1: Observe (observe the fact that happened)
Step 2: Feel (tell your feelings)
Step 3: Need, request (make specific hopes and requests)
i message can be consistent (including take care of myself, others, and the situation)

6. “You shouldn’t play games
online every day. If you
keep doing this, you will
not find a job after
graduation.”
“You come home so late, do
you know what time now?"
Actually feel worried, but they didn‘t say it. The tone of voice and the body messages will be regarded as
blaming……be sure to express your feelings

7. When I see that you have been
online for more than 3 hours, I feel
very worried. I hope you can
allocate time for playing games. I
believe that if you can do this, we
will not be worried.
when I saw you go home
already 12 o'clock at night. I
was very worried. I hope you
can call me first. I believe that
if you can do it, I will feel at
ease.

8. Role Play…..
CASE 1:
A student X takes a pen from student Y without permission, student Y
will be angry.
Common response: “Hey, why do you take my pen every time??!”
i message response:
Student Y: When you always take my pen without informing me. I
feel very upset. I hope that you can ask me before. In
this way, I will feel be respected. I believe that if you
can do this, I am very willing to lend you the pen, and
our friendship will be better. ”

9. Student Y:
Apabila kamu selalu mengambil pen saya tanpa memberitahu saya.
Saya berasa tidak puas hati. Saya harap kamu boleh bertanya
kepada saya terlebih dahulu. Dengan cara ini, saya akan berasa
dihormati. Saya percaya bahawa jika anda dapat melakukan ini, Saya
bersedia meminjamkan pen itu kepada kamu, dan persahabatan
kami akan menjadi lebih baik.
Student Y:
当你总是不告诉我就拿我的笔。 我觉得很不高兴。 我希望
你能先问过我。 这样，我会感到受到尊重。 我相信，如果
你能做到这一点，我愿意把笔借给你，我们的友谊会更加
美好。

10. CASE 2:
A teenager is angry with his parents who ask him several times
each night if he has completed his homework.
Common response: "I'm very angry, don't ask again, please!!!
i message response:
Teenager: I feel frustrated and angry when you reminded
me over and over to do my homework. I am old
enough now to complete my homework without
reminders. I hope you can believe that I can take
care of myself.

11. Teenager:
当您一遍又一遍地提醒我做功课时，我觉得沮丧和生气。 我现
在已经长大了，可以在没有提醒的情况下完成我的学校功课。
我希望你能相信我能照顾好自己。
Teenager:
Apabila ibu bapa mengingatkan saya untuk membuat kerja
sekolah berulang kali, saya berasa kecewa dan marah. Saya
sudah remaja sekarang dan dapat menyelesaikan kerja sekolah
saya tanpa peringatan. Saya harap ibu dan bapa boleh percaya
bahawa saya dapat menjaga diri saya sendiri.

12. "Return the phone
to me, return the
phone to me!!"
"Return the phone to
me, return the phone
to me!!"
Worries…
daughter’s health and study???
refuses to obey!!!
my responsibility…
CASE 3:

13. Daughter: Dad, I have something to tell you.
Daughter: I know you love me very much and
worry about me too. But last night,
when you rushed in and confiscated
my phone, I was really angry. I know
that I am really sorry for doing this. I
hope you can respect my need to
make friends in the future, but I know
that I will turn off my phone earlier too. I
hope you don't worry about it.

14. Dad: (calling her daughter's name)! Dad is
very happy to hear you say this and
share your feelings with me. In fact,
Dad also did something wrong
yesterday, Dad shouldn’t rush into
your room so rashly to snatch your
phone. Dad heard everything you said
just now. Hope we won’t quarrel
about mobile phones anymore in the
future, okay?

15. The End…
Thank You!!!