Creating Values in our Marriages

CREATING
VALUES IN OUR
MARRIAGESAnd so a real life of faith is a life in which we can treat
others with respect, honor, decency, love, kindness,
and tenderness, even when we do not see it. You see,
we build and increase value. We do not increase value
by trying to decrease others, by putting them down, or
by being angry with them.
The key to is to learn how to increase the value of our
spouses.Monday, 28 July
2014
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Monday, 28 July 2014
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 Marriages are supposed to grow.
Any marriage that is static will
soon have problems. We need to
work out our marriages so that
there is continuous growth. I have
learnt a lot over the years the need
for growth and these lessons have
assisted my wife and I when our
children have left home as now we

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 It is time to express more love as it
is the two of us. We have to be
there for each other, support and
help each other and even go an
extra mile for each other.

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 God desires us to have fulfilling
marriages to testify to the world
that Jesus really does make a
difference to us. If we do not have
good marriages, our testimony of
Jesus becomes empty. People
must see the life of Jesus in every
area of our lives in order for our
testimony to be real.

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 Everything begins in the home, in
the family. Remember this truth:
The things we treasure have value to
us, and the things that have value,
we treat with respect.

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 The real secret to improvement of
our marriages is learning to value
our spouses. How do you value
your spouse? You value your
spouse in the way you treat him or
her in the small things.

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 In I Peter 3:7, the Bible tells us that
a woman needs to be highly
valued to operate properly. It says,
“Husband, likewise, dwell with
them with understanding, giving
honor to the wife, as to the weaker
vessel, and as being heirs together
of the grace of life, that your
prayers may not be hindered.”

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 She will never meet your needs or
expectations unless she is highly
valued.
 She opens up to you when she
feels value.

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 In Ephesians 5:25-28, God tells
husbands to love and cherish
their wives. This scripture says,
“25. Husbands, love your wives,
just as Christ also loved the
church and gave Himself for
her, 26. that He might sanctify
and cleanse her with the
washing of water by the word,

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 27. that He might present her to
Himself a glorious church, not
having spot or wrinkle or any such
thing, but that she should be holy
and without blemish. 28. So
husbands ought to love their own
wives as their own bodies; he who
loves his wife loves himself.”

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 In Ephesians 5:22-24, God tells
wives to respect and honor their
husbands. It says, “22. Wives,
submit to your own husbands, as
to the Lord. 23. For the husband is
head of the wife, as also Christ is
head of the church; and He is the
Savior of the body.

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 24. Therefore, just as the church is
subject to Christ, so let the wives
be to their own husbands in
everything.”

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 God makes a declaration that we
should treat one another with love,
care, and value, even when we do
not see it. We call that faith.

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 Hebrews 11:1 tell us, “Faith is the
substance of things hoped for, the
evidence of things not seen.” And so
a real life of faith is a life in which we
can treat others with respect, honor,
decency, love, kindness, and
tenderness, even when we do not see
it.

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 You see, we build and increase
value. We do not increase value
by trying to decrease others, by
putting them down, or by being
angry with them.

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 The key to is to learn how to
increase the value of our spouses.
As we learn how to increase the
value of our spouses, we increase
our ability to deal with anger. One
problem is that when people do
not see enough value, they attempt
to straighten that person out by
using anger.

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 What do you do when you see no
value in your spouse? You must
create value. Where you see no
value or little value, you must
create it. In creating value in your
spouse, you must speak those
things as though they are, even
when they are not.

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 Let us look at three ways we can
increase the value of our mates. We
create value in the following ways: 1.
We speak value; 2. We treat others
with value; 3. We acknowledge God’s
value. If the church, if husbands and
wives, would do this and live it, we
would have some powerful homes
and families.

1. First, in order to increase
value, we speak value.
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 The most powerful way we can
create value is to speak value. It is
so important that we learn to
speak the right thing. It is
important in the home and family
that we speak things that are
beneficial, not harmful.

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 We should speak things that build
up family members, not tear them
down. The Word tells us that the
power of life and death is in the
tongue. The tongue creates.

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 Prov. 14:1 says, “A wise woman
builds her house, but the foolish
pulls it down with her hands.”
This says that a wise woman does
everything she can to encourage
and build up her family by what
she says with her mouth.

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 She is increasing their value. But
a foolish woman, with the words of
her own mouth, will tear her
husband down and, in the process,
tear her children down. She will
tear her own home and her family
down by what she says with her
mouth.

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 Husbands and wives should never
speak evil of one another. Even if
they disagree, husbands and
wives should still back each other
up in front of the children.

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 We should always speak words of
encouragement, building up and
increasing the value of the other
person at all times and in all
situations.
 Speaking value to other people
makes them want to be a better
person.

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 How do we speak value to
someone? Husbands and wives
can say, “Our children have a
wonderful mother,” or “Our
children have a wonderful father.”
They can speak value to their
spouses in front of them and also
when they are not around.

2. The second way to increase
value is to treat others with
value.
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 Husbands and wives can give their
spouses flowers, take them out to
eat, just do little things that can
show that person their
appreciation. When you give
value, or increase value, in the
other person, then that person
wants to be a better person.

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 Philippians 2:2-3 says, “2. Fulfill
my joy by being like-minded,
having the same love, being of one
accord, of one mind. 3. Let
nothing be done through selfish
ambition or conceit, but in
lowliness of mind let each esteem
others better than himself.”

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 We create value in our spouses by
treating them with value. God’s
way is to treat them as if they had
more value than they actually do.
This is acting in faith. Acting in
faith is creative because it
activates the supernatural power of
God to motivate your mate to be
better than he or she has been up

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 The real danger in a relationship is
to reach a “dead zone.” This
happens after repeated unresolved
conflicts, repeated
disappointments, neglected
communications, and giving up by
one or both of the marriage
partners.

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 In Ephesians 4:26b we are told not
to “. . . let the sun go down on your
wrath.” When we do not do this,
we simply stop trying to do the
things necessary to make a
successful marriage.

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 Another way we can treat our
mates with value is to reassure
them that we are totally committed
to them. We can do this by our
actions towards the opposite sex.
We can easily cause insecurity in
the other person by our actions
with the opposite sex.

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 We can increase the value of our
relationships by building common
interests and common ministries
that we can both be involved in.
Both people in a marriage must
work at this. When both parties in
a marriage have things that they
love doing together, then the
marriage relationship increases in

3. Third, we create greater value
when we acknowledge the value
that God has given to us.
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 Every person should treat others
with value because we are all
created in God’s own image. God
has placed great value on each of
us, demonstrated by His
willingness to sacrifice His life for
us.

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 Another way we acknowledge our
value is that we acknowledge the
price that Jesus paid for our
salvation. What kind of price was
paid? It was the highest price
possible. God sent his own Son to
die on a cross for us so that we
can be born again and have
relationship with Him. God loves

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 You are fearfully and wonderfully
made in God’s own image. In your
mother’s womb, you had value.
You have value today. People
sometimes have no hope and
want to give up, but the Word of
God says that you are valuable.

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 Every human being is valuable,
has worth. That teaches me that I
should treat everyone with value
and decency and respect.

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 We grow in love with our spouses
more and more as the years go by
because we have invested so
much value into the other person,
and they, in turn, have invested so
much value in us.

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 Remember these verses: Proverbs
14:1 says, “The wise woman builds
her house, but the foolish pulls it
down with her hands.”

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 Philippians 2:3 says, “Let nothing
be done through selfish ambition or
conceit, but in lowliness of mind let
each esteem others better than
himself.” God is telling us to value
others highly. This can easily be
applied in the marriage.

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 All the times the success of a
marriage is dependent upon
whether or not each spouse
chooses to value the other highly.

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 God’s plan is so simple. God’s
plan is for us to live a life of
increasing the value of other
people, our spouse, our loved one,
our friends.


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 Here are six questions to ponder
on.
 1. How much do I value my
spouse?
 2. Do I value him or her less or more
than when we were first married?
 3. Am I increasing in value to my
spouse?
 4. Am I diligently creating value in

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 5. Is there value in my husband or
wife that others see and esteem
but that I ignore because of my
hurt and disappointment? Often
we do not appreciate what we
have.
 6. Am I willing now to begin
creating greater value in my
spouse and at the same time
increase my own value?

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 The good news is that we can be
changed and restored by the
power of the name of Jesus in our
lives. We do not have to stay the
same as we are today. We can
change. God can change hearts.

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 We serve a God of miracles. God
can restore relationships. Where
you cannot, God can. God can
and will do awesome and mighty
things in our lives if we will just
say, “God, I want to make a change
in my life.

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 Remember that learning to deal
with the problem of anger begins
with learning to increase the value
of your spouse and the people
around you. You will never treat
people with respect until you learn
to live a life in which you are
continuously creating and
increasing the value of other

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 All the times the success of a
marriage is dependent upon
whether or not each spouse
chooses to value the other highly.
 Daily and every time have this in
your marriage:
 CREATE VALUE; ADD VALUE

Creating Values in our Marriages

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