1. Skip to My Lou
Notes from the Beyond
A personal account by one Lexi Carter

2. I assume by your presence here that you
have been reading the earliest happenings
of my family history.
There’s more to it that just that, of
course.
So much more.

3. You have already met my
mother. Linder Phantasma,
second daughter of Erik and
Faustina Phantasma. Recently
an adult, and living in a tiny
stone house some half a mile
down the road from her sister
Bindi Hatfield.

4. Ever a fickle woman, my mother spent an
impressive interval of time trying to work out
what to do with her life. Though a Popularity
Sim as a teen, and dedicated to her decision
against marriage, she knew that nothing was
concrete.
It was after twenty-four hours meditating in the
park that Linder decided. Best, if not to be
married, to be a Romance Sim.
And so, a Romance Sim she became.

5. …Please excuse the plumbob…
Mother’s first victim was a fellow Romance
by the name of Wendell.
You know, Lexi, I wouldn’t exactly call him a
victim. It was his idea as much as hers.
First partner, then. Cinnamon with brown
eyes, cute enough. I’ve met him; bit of tosser,
really.
Cinnamon here meaning Skin 3, right?
Oh, is that what you call it? Pay attention;
every Sim knows he’s cinnamon.

6. It’s not hard to guess what came next. Romance Sim or
no, Mother was carrying her first child with a completely
random dude.
Lexi, you should know that Wendell was anything but
random. I created him specially.
Seriously? Then how do you explain the demonspawn?
They don’t know about the demonspawn, so hush. And that was
a fluke; before I started keeping closer tabs on everyone.
Fine. My lips are sealed. This was supposed to be my
narration anyway, not some random phantom voice
bursting in and claiming to be the Great Plumbob. See if
you can make it half as awesome as I could.

7. Phantom. I like it! Mind if I keep that, Lexi?
I guess so.
Brilliant. Did you wish to continue, or shall I continue
to “burst in”, as you put it?
I want to! This is Xena. Phantom, as I have been
informed my faceless botherer will now be
called, refers to her mostly as the Grand Demon.
She has one nice point. The demonspawn average
two, even with a mix-in of seven.
She’s still my sister. Be nice.

8. The “baby daddy” as it has since been put, took a little advice from Xena’s grandfather Erik, and
decided to hold his newborn daughter. Not, of course, like it meant anything, since he never had
the decency to show up again.
Wendell is hardly to be blamed. I chased him away twice and removed his phone to keep him away.
Then I blame you! That’s horrible!
It was a necessary precaution. Continue please.
There was a really huge party to welcome baby
Xena. All of Linder’s direct blood relatives that
could be summoned were. Erik stood about
being silently thrilled about a fourth
grandchild.

9. Victim…ahem…partner number two wasThomas.
Jerk-face. Look at that stupid little beard.
I though you said you designed him?
I did. And he’s a jerk-face.
Exactly the same thing happened as happened with
Wendell. Predictably. Exactly when did birth control
come along? I don’t remember anyone else having that
problem in particular.
Erm…

10. Lover number three was a mistake and a problem.
I’m pretty sure that he would qualify as a victim. I can’t imagine
why he would want to hang around with demonspawn when he had
his own two little girls to worry about.
Fine. Victim. Mistake. Very bad mistake.
Perhaps I should throw in here that Noah, who is Erik’s
illegitimate fifth child, was displaced in such a way as to give him
amnesia. He had no idea who he was.
He kissed my mother. Who is his half-sister.
WAS his half-sister.
How do you even undo something like that?
Technical difficulties. Move on.
Of course the Grand Demon takes
directly to her nutty uncle.

11. Linder, now heavily pregnant withThomas’s child, introduced
Noah to Erik. Erik saw what Linder had been missing, and
told off both of his children for their mistake.
Technically, I’m the one that tipped Erik off to that.
I like to think my grandfather has some sense.
He doesn’t. Honor, maybe, but no sense at all.
Either way, Noah was banished back to his home lot, which
should be covered in a later segment that I am so NOT
narrating.
With his phone removed, I might add. And don’t worry,
there’s plenty more where you came from.
Mistaken sister-kissing fool
meeting his father for the
first time.

12. Linder had to buy a house with more than one
bedroom—and not a moment too soon. Jackie
and Robin arrived unannounced one
afternoon, around twelve hours later than
expected.
Another pregnancy victimized by the cheesecake shop.
Twins were quite difficult for poor Linder, who
already had a just-walking Xena to contend with.
Linder was managing fine. It was me that needed the
hand.
Either way, something wicked this way comes.
I wouldn’t call him wicked; I’d call him…

13. I’d call him an Intellectual Dweeb. And do so quite often.
Right. So the “Intellectual Dweeb”, as Phantom has so kindly
dubbed him, moved into Linder’s old house. Knowledge; lots
of nice points. Real name of Bernard Mitchells.
Megamind reference: Bernard the Intellectual Dweeb.
Everyone here is just lucky I didn’t manage to make him
blue.
So glad I don’t have blue siblings.
Sometimes I wish I did. Blue generally means oxygen
starvation in the human world. Death for Highly
Irritating Sister Dear.

14. Either way, Bernard quickly fell victim to the wiles of the neighborhood Romance Sim. Otherwise
known as My Mother.
I still feel that they deserve each other. Romance and Knowledge get on my nerves except in
very rare cases.
So why do you keep picking those aspirations?
You will notice that almost your entire generation
is either Family or Fortune?
Right. Either way, a lullaby sounded, and Linder
got her aspiration readjusted to Family.
Much more manageable. Of course, then there
was the Intellectual Dweeb to worry about.

15. What happens when Family Sims hang around their
lovers too much?
They make babies?
No, after that gets done. Linder is already
pregnant.
They get married!
Bingo.

16. Of course, Thomas got himself invited somehow, and
proceeded to beat the crap out of Bernard for “stealing”
Linder. Bernard countered thatThomas should have
married Linder himself—particularly after saddling her
with twins.
Intellectual Dweebs. Always the voice of wisdom.
And good for coming off worse in a fight. Say, where is
Xena? Isn’t she supposed to be here somewhere?
Xena developed a Bindi-like habit of remaining cloistered in her
room with an easel, with the added bonus of being a bit camera-
shy. She’s fine.

17. See? We have a picture from Miri’s birthday party, where Xena is
listening to Dena talk about fish. I honestly think she was happiest in
her room.
Okay…so Bernard won the hand of Linder. Their
son, Arthur, remains undocumented in babyhood.
And good riddance, too. I wish I’d caught his frog face before he
started procreating. That kid is ugly.
Okay, I’ll admit that Arthur isn’t my favorite sibling. Particularly
after the—
—Drama of which we shall not speak of at this time. Later, Lexi.
Come on. I actually saw that part. This stuff is ancient history; let me tell something I witnessed!

18. No. Stop whining, or I’ll fire you.
You can’t fire me. I quit.
Fine. This is Robin, Jackie, Xena, and Arthur, right after
another move. Arthur gets glasses in childhood; every last one of
Linder’s children has some kind of mask or glasses except Lexi.
Mine is invisible.
I thought you said you quit?
I do. Right after I finish narrating up until I come along.
So your mask is invisible. Is it also recessive? None of the spawn have one.
Do so. And I am not having this argument. My mask had to be invisible so no one would question where I came from.
Right. Do continue with the story, please.

19. Bernard got along fine with the oldest children, but
there’s still that special place in his heart for
Arthur, his personal firstborn son.
I hardly blame him. It’s a rare treat when you’re
married to Linder.
She is a Family Sim.
Not forever, although this was her longest time spent
as one. She was popularity by the time you came
along.
Well, that won’t be for a bit yet.

20. More babies came, and Bernard went down in history as the
first and only man to get two pregnancies out of Linder, his
accomplishment celebrated with infant twins Allison and
Rosina.
Unplanned twins, I might add. One would really have
been plenty. Not bad for an Intellectual Dweeb, though.
Linder didn’t pay much attention to the new babies, letting
recently teenage Xena play mother to the new girls.
Not for too long, though. Brand-new Phantasma
University had just opened on the other side of the
island, and Xena had her sights set on that.

21. Robin and Jackie were growing up as two
happy, healthy children, largely unscarred for all the
craziness around them.
You call them unscarred?
Compared to everyone else on the island, myself
included.
Point taken. Continue.
They spent a lot of time doing twin sorts of things
like playing chess, hugging for photos, and ignoring
the rest of the family.

22. Xena was among the first students accepted to Phantasma
University, alongside her cousinsWesley and Dena.
Meanwhile, Robin and Jackie got ready to become teens.
Please note that the bird was very temporary. It died
before I finished designing her boyfriend.
Do we have to cover the whole generation? Things really
start getting muddled after this; it would be so much easier to
mention my birth and run off on another tangent.
You do have a point, Lexi. Good thing you’re next, huh?

23. Robin and Jackie, both Family, as nearly everyone in
Generation 3 is, began their teenage lives with a mild bang.
Robin began going out with a young redhead down the street
named Phoenix.
One of my best pieces. Both names are from my own very
old and long since destroyed fictional piece; they were
half-sibling who fell in love when raised apart.
You are a sick creator, you know that?
Wait until we get a little more up-to-date and all the
real nonsense begins. Or we could just skip ahead to
Ariana…
…NO. We are stopping with me.

24. Linder, having switched over to Popularity for a bit of
fun, found herself getting into mischief with a local shop
keeper. Typical for the time, she found herself expecting.
It was a good match; a perfect pairing created completely
by accident.
You expect me to believe that?
Yes. I can and will do horrible things to your
family, Lexi.
Worse than you’ve already done?
Point taken. Malicious repeats of my previous deeds.

25. Bernard knew, deep in his heart, that the child wasn’t his, but he kept his
silence in love for his wife. Instead, he suggested that the couple was too
busy with two sets of twins in the house, that Allison and Rosina were
enough of a problem, and that it would be the kindest to give up the child
for adoption.
Intellectual Dweebs. Always so soft-hearted.
Linder immediately contacted the baby’s father, the shopkeeper Alex
Carter. Business had been good lately; he was financially well and now
living in a house with two bedrooms. He had meant to claim Linder as a
wife, but not with another man to contend with, and so happily agreed to
take the child when it was born and raise it as his own.
It was his own. How else would you raise a baby? You either raise
it or leave it in a basket on Daddy’s doorstep.

26. That is how I came into the world—in
subterfuge, surrounded by lies hiding and protecting
true feelings. Alex Carter came that very night to
collect the baby girl Linder had named after him—
Lexi.
Admit it, you were so much happier gone. Daddy
became a millionaire by the time you turned eight.
I missed out on siblings.
Did not. You shared a house with three of them
once.

27. She’s absolutely right, of course. We must save some of the
story for another time; else there will be no more left to tell.
Join the Phantasmas, with their convoluted ideas and
interesting happenings, in the next chapter.
I look forward to seeing you there.