Empathic Listening How can empathetic listening assist when listening to respond, listening to learn, listening to be with, or listening to connect in order to go from concord to confirmation and prevent the conversation from going from concord to consolidation. Provide an emotional context (e.g. when someone else is angry, when you are angry, when some else needs forgiveness, when you need forgiveness). Language Processing and Perception Bias : Distinguish the different impacts of real, literal, and abstract motion in the course of normal language processing and perception bias. Reference the Dils reading and one previous reading to support your response Dils, A.T., & Boroditsky, L. (2010). Processing unrelated language can change what you see. Psychonomic Bulletin & Review. 17 (6), 882-888 doi:10.3758/PBR.17.6.882 Retrieved from: http://psych.stanford.edu/~lera/papers/goose-hawk.pdf Discuss the Importance of Listening as a Tool to Design Effective Organizational Structure An organization is a grouping of people, skills, and tasks designed to be the most effective use of time, talent, and treasure that is able to accomplish the mission or purpose of why the group has been organized. This is true from the very formal organizational structures of a school house and hospitals, regardless if there is a pyramid or family design, to rather informal organizations such as the Red Hat Society or Parent Teacher Association. Organizations and teams are struggling to balance the needs of people with the needs of the whole system. Miyahsiro boils these needs down to respect, harmony, and effectiveness (Miyashiro, 2011). Therefore the words, connectors between the parts of the organization, must come from a place of respect and intended to fit, or be harmonious with, what is going on in the present to lead to a more effective future. However, while the intention behind the words is often more critical than the words themselves, we can hear the same words from different people with completely different responses. Their intention, our history with them, and our own history separate from them, all contribute to what we think we hear. To assure that the spokesperson and words match the listener best, we as conflict resolutionalist must approach each new situation from an empathetic perspective. Be aware however, that empathetic listening is not about being nice, but about effecting change and getting results though making requests out of our shared connection. Distinguish Between Sympathetic Listening and Empathetic Listening Empathetic listening is different from sympathetic listening. Sympathetic listening creates a connection between two people. As you listen you relate the situation to one that you may have experienced. You appreciate the struggle and the concern as you have been through a similar struggle.  Those who are sympathetic by nature work hard to assess situations through our framework and world experience. This is being sympathet.

1. Empathic Listening
How can empathetic listening assist when listening to respond,
listening to learn, listening to be with, or listening to connect in
order to go from concord to confirmation and prevent the
conversation from going from concord to consolidation. Provide
an emotional context (e.g. when someone else is angry, when
you are angry, when some else needs forgiveness, when you
need forgiveness).
Language Processing and Perception Bias
: Distinguish the different impacts of real, literal, and abstract
motion in the course of normal language processing and
perception bias. Reference the Dils reading and one previous
reading to support your response
Dils, A.T., & Boroditsky, L. (2010). Processing unrelated
language can change what you see.
Psychonomic Bulletin & Review.
17 (6), 882-888 doi:10.3758/PBR.17.6.882
Retrieved from: http://psych.stanford.edu/~lera/papers/goose-
hawk.pdf
Discuss the Importance of Listening as a Tool to Design
Effective Organizational Structure
An organization is a grouping of people, skills, and tasks
designed to be the most effective use of time, talent, and
treasure that is able to accomplish the mission or purpose of
why the group has been organized. This is true from the very
formal organizational structures of a school
house and hospitals, regardless if there is a pyramid or family
design, to rather informal organizations such as the Red Hat
Society or Parent Teacher Association. Organizations and teams
are struggling to balance the needs of people with the needs of
the whole system. Miyahsiro boils these needs down to respect,

2. harmony, and effectiveness (Miyashiro, 2011). Therefore the
words, connectors between the parts of the organization, must
come from a place of respect and intended to fit, or be
harmonious with, what is going on in the present to lead to a
more effective future. However, while the intention behind the
words is often more critical than the words themselves, we can
hear the same words from different people with completely
different responses. Their intention, our history with them, and
our own history separate from them, all contribute to what we
think we hear.
To assure that the spokesperson and words match the listener
best, we as conflict resolutionalist must approach each new
situation from an empathetic perspective. Be aware however,
that empathetic listening is not about being nice, but about
effecting change and getting results though making requests out
of our shared connection.
Distinguish Between Sympathetic Listening and Empathetic
Listening
Empathetic listening is different from sympathetic listening.
Sympathetic listening creates a connection between two people.
As you listen you relate the situation to one that you may have
experienced. You appreciate the struggle and the concern as you
have been through a similar struggle. Those who are
sympathetic by nature work hard to assess situations through
our framework and world experience. This is being sympathetic.
own, the others person's truth and reaction whether that reaction
be anger or joy, vengeance, or forgiveness. Marie R. Miyashiro
(2011) noted that empathy is about being able to distinguish
between what we are feeling and what others are feeling, and to
recognize we are separate from them and their pain is not our
pain. While being sympathetic is, in fact, a willingness to share
and even perhaps validate the pain or reaction of the others in
conversation.
All of us can grow and evolve as empathetic listeners, not only
is it a key ‘soft skill’ of a conflict resolution specialist, but one
that can assist in strengthening your connection with those

3. around you. Try to practice listening to hear not responding.
Your silence will encourage the speaker to increase their
amount of sharing. You may wish to practice listening to learn
what the others are thinking, feeling, wanting, and needing,
before you tell them how you are going to help. This waiting
may not only change your offer to help, but may in the end help
you to realize that perhaps the real help needed was to have a
sounding board. Again, go deeper with practicing your listening
skills to the level of listening to be with the other person or
persons where they are, not where you are or where you want
them to be. Knowing the level of readiness to hear from you,
before you speak will help you shape your words,
not to be nice, but to be heard
. These listening practices will help you to be more connected
with the others in the group without having to be one of them,
this will also help you take their emotions, whether these
emotions or reactions are anger or joy, forgiveness, or
vengeance without approving of them or owning these emotions
yourself. Can you practice this type of empathetic listening or
do you believe (based upon your cultural upbringing and
rewards received for acceptable behavior) that this type of
listening is something you cannot learn or practice?
The Basic Principles of Non-violent Communication
Nonviolent Communication holds that most conflicts between
individuals or groups arise from miscommunication about their
needs and wants. This generally occurs when either party uses
coercive or manipulative language that aims to induce fear or
guilt. These modes of communication, when used during a
conflict, divert the attention of the participants away from
clarifying their needs, their feelings, their perceptions, and their
requests, thus perpetuating the conflict. Marshall Rosenberg,
the founder of Nonviolent Communication, published numerous
training materials to help in efforts to bring about radical social
change through the use of non-violent communication.
Rosenberg concluded that certain ways of communicating tend
to alienate people and therefore served as a block to the

4. transformative power of conflict resolution. They focus the
conflict on classifying, analyzing, and determining levels of
wrongness rather than on what the parties need and want. These
types of communication are generally judgmental (this generally
includes blame, insults, put-downs, labels, criticisms,
comparisons, and diagnoses). They can also be experienced as a
demand as in an ‘or else’, a denial of responsibility as in an ‘I
had to’ because of my condition, diagnosis, history, actions of
others (dictates of authority, group pressure, institutional rules),
or a comparison between others and a premise of who is most
deserving.
A Practice Model
Consider the “Concord-Conflict-Concord Cycle” model, which
illustrates the impact of positive conflict management and
negative conflict suppression. When conflict emerges and is
addressed productively a six stage cycle can be observed. These
stages are:
Concord – community based on unity and harmony where goal,
value, source, personality differences and related tensions are
held in check through implicit or explicit social contracts
Confusion – balance of unity and peace are threatened and
suppressed tensions surface
Conflict – personality, value, goal, resource, pathway conflicts
emerge
Consultation – community looks for leaders to improve
communication of ideas and concerns, maintain contact,
mediate, and negotiate
Conciliation – the person or process works towards
compromise, collaboration, alliance, or divergence. Common
interests are sought
Confirmation – collaboration or acceptable compromise is
reached and renewed concord is celebrated
On the other hand, when conflict is suppressed or avoided
rather than managed and transformed, the following stages may
occur.
Concord – community based on unity and harmony where goal,

5. value, resource, personality differences and related tensions are
held in check through implicit or explicit social contracts
Consternation - anxiety emerges as suppressed tensions come to
light and the threat of nonconformity, free thought, and
rebellion surface. Limits of yielding to dominance or oppression
are reached
Covert conflict – suppressed conflict manifests itself in covert
acts and distrust and divisions intensify
Conspiracy – division is exemplified by the powerful party’s
attempts to crush the resistance and demand conformity and the
resisting party’s creation of a crisis
Coercion – division advances while the establishment tries to
force conformity and the innovators demand change
Consolidation – the opposition is either oppressed and forced
underground or it gains power, creates more division, and a new
concord is united
The move from concord to confusion or consternation is
inevitable. However, skilled leaders determine the primary
focus of the conflict—goals, resources, values, personalities—
and direct the resolution process, with a focus on respect,
harmony and effectiveness. Goals may be defined as what the
parties want in the situation, what do they want from each other
and want for themselves. Resources may be defined as to what
each party needs to feel in order to maintain their worth in the
situation, what they need from each other to receive or obtain so
as to maintain their worth. Values may be defined as those
unspoken anchors from which our biases and prejudices
emerged. They are feelings each party has as to what is right
and fair as well as to what is wrong and selfish. Personalities
may be defined as what each party thinks of themselves, each
other, the world around them and how they express those
thoughts.
When I first studied conflict and culture, many of these ideas
were new to me. For example, I was taught that we should
“separate the people from the problem” (Ury & Fisher, 1981),
and empower the parties to resolve the issue. The process

6. belongs to the conflict resolution specialist, but the resolution
belongs to the conflicted parties. However, in most cultures the
problem and the person must receive equal consideration
because, in part, the personalities, the goals, the values, and the
resources are intertwined with how each party defines respect,
harmony, and effectiveness. Ignoring any aspect reduces the
probability of resolution. The individual asked to mediate,
facilitate, or to come to help resolve the conflict cannot
discount the impact of culture during the resolution process.
As distasteful as conflict may be in some cultures, well-
managed confrontation is necessary for the conflict to move
towards mutually satisfactory resolution. Further, in the
conciliation stage, respect for the ongoing relationship, as well
as commitment to one’s own goals, is vital. Finally, participants
should celebrate their win/win solution and the personal growth
gained from the conflict experience. On the other hand, the
negative cycle perpetuates ill will, division, and mistrust. In
addition, when parties resort to conspiracy and coercion, the
conflict becomes increasingly damaging and unmanageable.
Paradoxically, the conflict resolution specialist's role may be
one of both hero and villain. In fact, the experience of resolving
conflict is one of stepping between colliding forces, competing
wills, and clashing temperaments. However, only when the
parties feel sufficiently safe to be vulnerable can the conflict be
addressed in a culturally satisfying and sustainable manner.
Conflict resolution and relationship transformation seek to
equalize the power playing field and giving each party a voice.
Expressing emotions and views has many advantages, not the
least of which is to decrease cultural confusion and
misunderstandings.
References:
Covey, S. R. (1989). The 7 habits of highly effective people:
Restoring the character ethic. New York: Free Press.