2. YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR:
1. At the initial stages of the match, your
mentee may appear to be hesitant,
unresponsive, and unappreciative of the
mentor relationship.
---- a manifestation of his/her insecurity about the
relationship. The mentee’s attitude will
gradually take a positive turn as he/she
realizes your sincerity about being a friend. Be
patient! Don’t try to speed up the process by
going out of your way to accommodate your
mentee, such as seeing your mentee more
than the prescribed one hour per week.

3. 2. Remember that the mentor–mentee
relationship has an initial phase. During
this phase the mentee is more interested
in getting to know how “real” you are and
how much he/she can trust you. Establish
how you can reach your mentee: by
phone, e-mail, or fax or at a designated
meeting location. Experience proves that
calling or e-mailing your mentee at school
is usually the best way to make contact.
Establish a time and phone number
where you can usually answer calls or
make contact. Mentees need
encouragement to leave messages on your

4. Don’t try to be teacher, parent,
disciplinarian, therapist, Santa Claus or
babysitter. Experience demonstrates it is
counterproductive to assume roles other
than a dependable, consistent friend.
Present information carefully without
distortion and give all points of view a fair
hearing. Listen carefully and offer possible
solutions without passing judgment. Don’t
criticize or preach. Think of ways to
problem solve together rather than
lecturing or telling the mentee what to do.
Never “should have” your mentee.

5. Respect the uniqueness and honor
the integrity of your mentee and
influence him/her through
constructive feedback. The mentor
empowers the mentee to make right
decisions without actually deciding
for the mentee. Identify the
mentee’s interests and take them
seriously. Be alert for opportunities
and teaching moments. Explore
positive and negative

6. Set realistic expectations and goals for your
mentee and make achievement for them
fun. Remember there is a big difference
between encouraging and demanding.
Encourage your mentee to complete his/her
secondary education and pursue higher
learning or vocational goals; provide
access to varying points of view. Assist in
making the connection between his/her
actions of today and the dreams and goals
of tomorrow.

7. Don’t get discouraged if the mentee
isn’t turning his/her life around or
making great improvements.
Mentors have a great deal of
impact; it’s not always immediately
evident. Look for signs such as
increased school attendance,
improved grades, showing up for
meetings and expressing
appreciation.

8. As a friend you can share and advise,
but know your limitations. Problems
that your mentee may share with
you regarding substance abuse,
molestation and physical abuse are
best handled by professionals. If
you have any concerns, contact
the mentor coordinator
immediately.

9. Be supportive of the parent, even
when you may disagree. Don’t take
sides or make judgments
concerning any family conflict or
situation. Leave the parenting to the
parent.

10. MENTORING GROUND RULES
Successful mentoring relationships,
whether formal or informal,
negotiate and abide by ground
rules. Some things to consider when
determine ground rules for your
mentoring relationship
include:
• Recognizing a mentoring
relationship is voluntary for both
Mentor and Mentee

11. MENTORING GROUND RULES
• Indentify clear expectations for Mentors
and Mentees
• Mentor and Mentee develop and adhere
to a written Mentoring Agreement
• Identify Mentor availability and frequency
of meetings
• Establish procedures for setting up and
conducting meetings
• Insure that both Mentor and Mentee are
actively involved
• Renegotiate the Mentoring Agreement as
necessary

12. MENTORING GROUND RULES
• Include a “no-fault” provision for
ending the relationship
• Identify how and how frequently you
will evaluate your relationship
• Recognize that a mentoring
relationship is no guarantee of
career advancement for the
Mentor or the Mentee
• Identify confidential expectations

13. One of the keys to a successful
mentor/mentee relationship is to set
some ground rules and stick to them. Sit
down with your prospective mentee and
discuss the expectations of both parties,
i.e., what do you and the mentee expect
to get out of the relationship? It’s a given
that the mentee is seeking your time,
wisdom, and advice, but if you as the
mentor don’t also get some kind of
mental satisfaction, your interest in the
relationship will quickly wane.

14. Discuss how often you will get
together. Will you meet for lunch
once a week or for an hour in your
office several times a month? It is
important that you create an actual
meeting schedule and stick to it.
Without a set schedule, life will get
in the way and you will cancel more
meetings than you attend.

15. Next, set some guidelines and
limitations. How often can your
mentee call? Is it OK for them to
call your cell phone, or should they
go through your secretary? Can
they drop by the office anytime?
Can they call you at home after 5
p.m.?

16. Set some goals for the mentee. Assign
them homework. Give them a task. The
relationship must be more than just
chewing the fat. The point is to help the
mentee grow, personally and
professionally. Give them a list of books
to read. Recommend seminars they
should attend. Have them outline their
business goals in writing. Then set
milestones and hold them accountable
for reaching them.

17. From your side of the fence, don’t be
afraid to share your successes and
failures. Let your experience be their
guide. Help them identify opportunities
and avoid potholes that you may have
hit along the way. Don’t be
embarrassed to tell the truth,
especially if it can keep your mentee
from making the same mistakes you
did.

18. PURPOSEOFTHEGROUNDRULES
These ground rules were developed in order to
ƒassist mentors to discuss and establish a
framework within which to facilitate an
individual’s development .
ƒhelp the mentor and mentee to understand what
to expect from the mentoring relationship.
ƒclarify the rights and responsibilities of both
parties in the mentoring relationship.
ƒencourage discussion to define any boundaries to
that relationship.
ƒclarify the issues of confidentiality within the
mentoring relationship

19. SUGGESTED WAYS OF USING THE GROUND RULES
* Establishing the mentoring relationship
ƒ Give the mentee a copy before the first
meeting with their mentor
Discuss and agree ground rules with the
mentee at the beginning of the first session
An option may be to formalise the ground
rules with signatures
* Maintaining the mentoring relationship
Use to reinforce or redefine boundaries if
either party is straying outside ground rules

20. GROUND RULES FOR DEVELOPMENTAL MENTORING
* A mentoring session
is an open, honest, supportive, non-judgmental
discussion which takes place in a quiet, private place
with no interruptions
is confidential; however, maintaining confidentiality
regarding issues raised/discussed during the session
should not compromise the mentor with respect to the
code or ethics, the trust code of conduct or other
relevant ethical guidelines. If the mentor feels that their
duty of care to avoid harm to patients overrides the
requirement for confidentiality then they may take
appropriate steps, with the full knowledge of the
individual has an agreed structure, including
- the scope of what will be discussed and any appropriate
boundaries e.g. personal vs.
professional issues

21. - the ability of either party to withdraw from the
mentoring relationship e.g. due to personality
clashes (in this case an alternative mentor would be
assigned)
- be informed of the availability of alternative mentors
- review and follow up mechanisms
has time set aside which should have an agreed time
frame including
- the frequency of mentoring sessions
- the duration of mentoring sessions
- cancellations within an agreed framework
- - there should be a commitment from the mentor and
mentee to turn up and on time for an
- agreed session, regardless of the degree of progress
that has been made
- - availability of the mentor outside of agreed
sessions

22. The mentor
will demonstrate a commitment to the development
of their mentoring skills
can refer to another mentor if they feel they have
reached their limitations to help (this should take
place in consultation with the mentee)
will explain the role of the mentor and explore the
expectations of the mentee
will be objective and non-judgmental. They are not
there to assess the mentee’s performance
will explain the need for any notes written during a
mentoring session, what will happen to these
notes and how the mentee can gain access to them
has protected time allocated for mentoring sessions
and any preparation required

23. The mentee
will retain the ownership for their development
will take responsibility for their Personal
Development Plan (PDP) and undertake to
- identify their learning & development needs
- plan how to meet these needs
- undertake the development activities identified in
their plan
- document this
must be honest, demonstrate commitment to their
development, be prepared and have thought
about their development before the mentoring
session in order to fully benefit from mentoring
can choose not to share personal information with
their mentor

24. THANK YOU FOR
LISTENING……

25. PREPARED BY:
JACKELINE B. ABINALES
MAY 10, 2014
TALA HIGH SCHOOL