Video ¦ FAMILY LIFE | Successful Marriage In Islam ¦ Dr. Khalid Siddiqi | [HD] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekPL6ZvMGNE Family Life: Marriage In Islam - Selection of Spouse, Marriage Contract, Rights & Duties | Dr. Khalid Siddiqi Lessons From The Holy Qur'an and Prophetic Sunnah Way of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) peace and blessings be upon him, salla Allahu alaihe wa salam.

1. Islamic Studies Courses
In
Chabot, Ohlone, Mission, and De Anza Colleges
Designed and Taught
By
Hafiz M. K. Siddiqi, Ph.D.
Family Life: Selection of Spouse, Marriage
Contract, Lessons from the Holy Qur’an
and the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad
pbuh, rights and duties of husband & wife
and importance of other relationships

2. How to Search for a Spouse?
Kafaa’ah:
Kafaa’ah: Compatibility in: 1. Education
 2. Religious value system 3. Moral and Ethical
Value System.
 Desirable and recommended:
 In other areas such as: 1. Cultural background
2. Hobbies and Interests, etc.
 Test of personality: 1. Anger 2. Ego
3. Selfishness 4. Conflict resolution


3. Marriage Contract
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Mehr/Sadaq: Financial responsibility
Consultation with scholars/Counseling in case
of difficulties or major differences of opinions
Right to divorce and related issues
Custody of children and related issues
Possibility of re-marriage in future
reCondition to prohibit marrying another wife
Premarital Counseling

4. Qur’anic Teachings
4/14/1-23 Discussed the issues of: 1. Equality
2. Permissible relationship 3. Continuation of
Human race 4. Witnesses 5. Arhaam: Wombs
Arhaam:
of mothers 6. Question of orphans, polygamy and
Justice 7. Question of Inheritance 8. Perfection &
Faults 9. Ma’roof 10. Divorce and return of gifts
11. Those who are forbidden to marry
12. Mithaqan Ghaldha.

5. 2/187, (Garment) 2/221,(Pagans), 5/5
(Ahlul-Kitab) 2/231-233 (Taradin Wa
Ahlul-Kitab) 2/231(Taradin
Tashawur),2/237, (Al-Fadl),
Tashawur),2/237, (Al-Fadl), 3/102
(Taqwa), 33/70-71, Truthfulness…… 30/21,
Taqwa), 33/70(Sukun, Mawaddah & Rahmah), 65/6
Sukun,
Rahmah),
(Staying in husband’s home in ‘Iddah period).
‘Iddah
66/166/1-2 (Story of honey), 43/70 (Families
Enter the garden of Paradise), 13/38 ( the
Prophets had families and children).

6. From the Prophetic Tradition
“whoever can afford the marriage…….”
“A woman is married for 4 reasons….”
“ The whole world is a bounty of Allah…..”
“ The marriage is one half of Faith….”
“ The marriage is my way of life….”
“Two important qualities: to follow the
religion and moral Values ….”

7. Conditions for the marriage: I. Permission
of guardian 2. Agreement of the bride 3.
Two Witnesses 4. Proposal and acceptance
5. Financial responsibility, performance of
the marriage to teach the couple the
principles and foundations, the art of
establishing the good relationship to attain
mutual peace and happiness 6. What
destroys the marriage.

8. Rights and Duties
They share this with each other: 1. Mutual rights:
Intimacy has to be with mutual agreement and with due
mutual consideration.2. Change of status: the wife
becomes unlawful to marry father, grand father….,
sons, grand sons great grand sons…and other branches
of her husband. The husband becomes unlawful to
Marry wife’s mother, grandmother……daughter
Grand daughter…and branches.

9. 3. Right to inheritance: as soon as marriage vows
Are done, they will inherit each other if one of them
Dies even if the marriage was not consummated.
4. Legitimacy of child: any children born in this
Wedlock will be lawful.
5. Mutual treatment on the basis of Ma’roof
(equitable terms):A. Mutual mercifulness B. Mutual
Tenderheartedness C. Mutual consultation
D. Mutual agreement E. Mutual use of beautiful
Words in addressing each other

10. Social: 1. Mutual consideration to avoid
socializing with individuals and groups who
are undesirable to one or the other spouse
2. No friendship with opposite sex 3. Do not
invite in to your house the opposite sex
guests or visitors when your spouse is not
home. 4. Do not socialize with bad
individuals and groups 5. Do not socialize
with non-practicing individuals or groups
nonunless you intend to help them practice the
religious and moral values.

11. The rights of wife are the duties of husband:
1.Religious and Financial: A. Sadaq/Mehr:
Sadaq/Mehr:
Compulsory marriage gift negotiated by the wife
and given by the husband as a true financial
Commitment. B. A promise to provide financial
safety and security for the wife, in case of divorce.
C. Total responsibility of household expenditure:
food, shelter, clothes, medical treatment and other
Necessities of life, according to husband’s capacity.
D. Companionship and friendship here and in the
hereafter.

12. 2. Ethical: A. Dignity and respect B. Address with
beautifully selected words C. Prohibition of any
kind of harm: mental, physical, verbal, implicit or
Explicit D. Hiding the faults and short comings
E. Speaking about the brighter aspects of her
Character F. Adjust, accommodate and modify
your behavior according to the changing
conditions G. Tolerance, forgiveness, and
Generosity in daily interactions. H. Absolutely no
Communication with anger, selfishness, and ego.

13. 3. Emotional: A. Spending quality time with her
B. Fulfilling her needs of intimacy C. Allowing her
to say no to your needs of intimacy if she is not
feeling well or not in mood. D. Allow her to
maintain a decent level of relationship with her
blood relatives and be generous with your in-laws.
inE. Do not spy on her F. Do not mistrust her G. Trust
Her H. Protect her I. Do not mistreat, insult,
Disrespect, or cause any harm to her blood relatives
J. Treat her as you want her to treat you.

14. The rights of Husband are the duties of wife: Religious and
financial: A. Protect his money from misuse, abuse, and
waste B. Save and help him save in food, shelter, clothes,
necessities of life, whenever it is possible C. Don’t
encourage him to have an extravagant life style D. Never
buy any thing if you can not afford it. Have the habit of
purchasing the necessities of life if only you can afford
them. E. Make a budget with your husband and save a
percentage of his income for a rainy day, education of your
children, their weddings, and for vacations F. Keep away
From credit cards, loans etc.

15. G. Obey him as long as he does not ask you to
disobey Allah swt H. Wear make-up and beautify
makeyourself for meeting with your husband. The Holy
Qur’an has recommended that righteous women
Reserve their beauty and ornaments to display in
front of their husbands. I. Do not speak about your
Intimacy with your husband to any of your friends,
Nor inform your husband about the hidden beauties
of your female friends.

16. J. Please him whenever he looks at you K. Fulfill
his demands if they are not disobedience to Allah
swt L. Protect his interest in yourself and his wealth
and trusts M. Obey Allah in everything that you do.
2. Ethical: A. Dignity and respect B. Address with
beautifully selected words C. Prohibition of any
kind of harm: mental, physical, verbal, implicit or
Explicit. D. Hiding the faults and short comings.
E. Speaking about the brighter aspects of his
Character. F. Adjust, accommodate and modify
your behavior according to the changing conditions

17. 3. Emotional: A. Spending quality time with him
B. Fulfilling his needs of intimacy C. Allowing him
to say no to your needs of intimacy if he is not
feeling well or not in mood. D. Encourage him to
maintain a decent level of relationship with his
blood relatives and be generous with them.
E. Do not spy on him F. Do not mistrust him G.
Trust him H. Protect him I. Do not mistreat, insult,
Disrespect, or cause any harm to his blood relatives
J. Treat him as you want him to treat you.

18. 1.Relationship with parents must be on the basis of
number one priority, generosity, and utmost care. It
is beautifully described in 17/23-24.
17/232. Relationship with the children has to be one of
providing guidance, practical role model, the best
of physical, intellectual, and spiritual education and
Training. 3. Relationship with relatives has to be
one of maintaining decency by exchanging visits
and gifts and generously treating with financial
help the poor ones of them, in a respectful manner.

19. The relationship with the people of scriptures (Jews
and Christians has to be one of respect, dignity and
recognition the Holy Qur’an is full of connections
with the people of scripture. A Muslim is required
to maintain decent relationship with them. The rest
of the humankind will also be treated with love and
kindness and justice and fairness as mentioned in
60/8. So, the basic principle to be followed as
regard to all categories of relationship, with
Muslims and none Muslims is Birr and Qist.
Qist.