The document discusses how people often focus on small details or tasks to avoid confronting larger issues. It argues that a stronger internal state of confidence would allow one to naturally perform behaviors like maintaining eye contact without consciously thinking about it when giving a speech. To build true confidence, one should work on strengthening their internal state through practices like meditation and forcing their brain to recall feelings of confidence, rather than just pretending to be confident from the outside.

1. Inside Out Confidence

2. It's easy to miss the forest for the
trees.

3. Even that statement is used so often
that it can be easy to misunderstand it.

4. People tend to focus on little details
(the trees) so they don't have to
address the big picture (the forest).

5. Often times, when there's some big
task at hand, we easily get caught up
in the little things to avoid facing it.

6. Like if you need to do your taxes, you
might spend a couple hours clearing
up your desk.

7. That's easier, emotionally, than doing
all the uncomfortable financial
calculations.

8. It's been said that one of the reasons
Victorian England was so "Victorian,"
meaning so focused on sexual
behavior and etiquette is because they
didn't want to address a larger issue of
their crumbling empire.

9. We humans don't like big
confrontations, so we avoid them
whenever possible.

10. These can come across as lies we tell
ourselves.

11. I won't try to create a relationship until
I lose ten pounds.

12. I don't want to look for a job until I
finish this project.

13. I don't want to have that conversation
with my partner until I've cleaned out
the garage. And on and on.

14. One of the ways we do this is when we
focus on our external behavior, when
we should be focusing on our internal
state.

15. For example, if you've ever given a
speech, you may have been told to,
"maintain eye contact," or "don't
memorize," or "don't shift your body
weight back and forth," or "use
gestures when you speak."

16. These are all good advice, but guess
what?

17. Somebody who had a strong internal
state would do these things naturally,
without even thinking about it.

18. To be sure, you can "fake it till you
make it."

19. Meaning if you started to pretend to
be confident and self assured, you'd
eventually become confident and self
assured.

20. But that's kind of a roundabout, and
emotionally unpleasant way of doing
it.

21. Why not start from the inside?

22. After all, those reasons for discomfort
are based on what you "perceive" to
be "out there," now what's really out
there.

23. One way is to simply FORCE your brain
to recall feelings of confidence, before
and WHILE you're speaking (in this
particular example) instead of letting it
run all over the place, like most people
do.

24. Another way is to practice meditation.

25. Strengthen your ability to quiet your
mind at will, so you can more easily
turn off those doubts and worries, and
be much more centered.

26. Then you'll open whole new range of
behavior and energy most people
never experience.

27. mindpersuasion.com/charisma/