Go Girls! Art & Science Session 1 Class 3

The Art & Science of Raising a Girl Today
Session 1 – Notice: Tools for Listening, Sharing & Asking the Right Questions
Class 3 – Identify & Accept Your Feelings (The Ones that Feel Good & The Ones that
Don’t)| Tuesday, November 15, 2011 | 6:30-8:00pm

Agenda for Class 1
Chi Gung Practice

Moment of Silence

Artistic Voila: What’s Going On In This Picture?

Review of Last Class & Tonight’s Agenda

Presentation: Identify & Accept Your Feelings: What Is It
and Why Is It Important?

Experience: Practicing Emotion Coaching

Reflection & Homework for Next Class

©Glitter & Razz Productions, 2011. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Any use of these materials, including reproduction, modification, distribution
or republication, without the prior written consent of Glitter & Razz Productions, is strictly prohibited. www.glitterandrazz.com

What’s Going In On This Picture?

Questions
What feelings come
up?

What do you see in
this picture?

What do you think is
happening?


Session 1 – Notice: Tools for Listening, Sharing & Asking the Right Questions
Class 2 – Active Listening, Active Sharing
Homework

1. Try Out 1 New
Practice from the
“Playback at How did it go?
Home” Worksheet

2. Post an idea, link,
or question on the
class blog


Make a Play. Change the World. Framework
Identify & Accept Your Feelings
“The evidence for a female advantage in empathizing comes from many different
areas. For example, given a free choice of which toys to play with, more girls than
boys will play with dolls, enacting social and emotional themes….if you leave out
those big plastic cars that children can ride on, what you see is that more little boys
Change Yourself

play the ‘ramming’ game. They deliberately drive the vehicle into another child. The
NOTICE little girls ride around more carefully, avoiding the other children more often. This
• Get Quiet & Present suggests the girls are being more sensitive to others.”

• Active Listening, - Simon Baron-Cohen, Cambridge University, “The Essential Difference: The Male &
Active Sharing Female Brain”

• Identify & Accept
Your Feelings (The
Ones that Feel Good “Here's where women differ from men. If the other person is upset, or the
& The Ones that emotions are disturbing, women's brains tend to stay with those feelings. But
Don’t) men's brains do something else: they sense the feelings for a moment, then tune
out of the emotions and switch to other brain areas that try to solve the problem
• Say Yes to Yourself that's creating the disturbance. Thus women's complaint that men are tuned out
emotionally, and men's that women are too emotional - it's a brain difference.
Neither is better - both have advantages.

- Daniel Goleman, author of “Emotional Intelligence” and “The Brain and
Emotional Intelligence”



“The most profound difference between girls and boys is not in any brain
Change Yourself

structure per se, but rather in the sequence of development of the various
NOTICE brain regions. The different regions of the brain develop in a different
• Get Quiet & Present
sequence, and different tempo, in girls compared with boys -- this is the key
• Active Listening, insight from the past five years of neuroscience research in brain
Active Sharing development... Differences between the brains of adult women compared
with adult men are small. Differences between the brains of girls compared
• Identify & Accept with boys are very large!”
Your Feelings (The
Ones that Feel Good
& The Ones that - Leonard Sax, psychologist, M.D., and author of “Why Gender Matters” and
Don’t) “Girls On the Edge”

• Say Yes to Yourself


What is it?
Physiologically, girls experience the world from an emotional place. It’s their
Change Yourself

super power. When feelings are dismissed, negated or denied, girls receive
NOTICE
the message that feelings are scary and may develop a range of behaviors
and tactics to avoid feeling all together. In contrast, when we celebrate the
• Active Listening, magic of girls and help them identify and express their feelings, they will be
Active Sharing mentally stronger, physically healthier and happier to be themselves.

Your Feelings (The
Why is it important?
Ones that Feel Good • Girls will have a roadmap to navigate the wide range of emotions they
& The Ones that will face throughout their lives
Don’t)
• They will be physically healthier
• Say Yes to Yourself • They will be more focused and better learners
• They will have better quality relationships throughout their lives


“Emotion Coaching is the key to raising happy,
resilient, and well-adjusted kids.”
-Christine Carter in reference to the work of John Gottman
pg. 88 of Raising Happiness
Change Yourself

NOTICE Step 1: Empathize, Label and Validate
• “I see…” or “I notice…”
• Active Listening,
Active Sharing • “I hear…”
• “Are you feeling…”
Your Feelings (The • “Is there anything else that you are feeling?”
Ones that Feel Good
& The Ones that • “I imagine that feels…”
Don’t)
• “Tell me about that.”
• “Are you saying that…”
• “It sounds to me like you feel ____, because_____. Is
that right?
• “How does that make you feel?”


A List of Challenging Emotions
In kid-friendly language

Sad
Change Yourself

NOTICE
Ashamed
Scared Rejected
Active Sharing Frustrated Depressed
Your Feelings (The
Tired Disappointed
Ones that Feel Good
& The Ones that Horrible Hateful
Don’t)
Mad Embarassed
Lonely Yucky
Nervous
Jealous

“Emotion Coaching is the key to raising happy,
resilient, and well-adjusted kids.”
-Christine Carter in reference to the work of John Gottman
pg. 88 of Raising Happiness
Change Yourself

NOTICE Step 2: Deal with the Bad Behavior (if applicable)
• “It’s okay to feel___, but it’s never okay to ___.”
Active Sharing

Step 3: Problem-Solve
Your Feelings (The “The best ideas come from the kids themselves, when they explore the
Ones that Feel Good problem from their own perspective and knowledge.”
& The Ones that
Don’t)
• “Tell me what happened to make you feel this way.”
• “What can you do to solve this problem?”
• “What might happen if…”
• “Let’s take a look at some different choices…”


Go Girls! Art & Science Session 1 Class 3

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