1 Student’s Name Professor’s Name History June 14 2017 Personal Salvation The idea of personal salvation marked one of the major shifts that took place in some of the religious traditions. Therefore, the newer cults promised celestial intervention and succor for devotees. Before that, most of earlier traditions had used to prescribe religious behaviors with a primary intent of appeasing supernatural forces or maintaining cosmic harmony. One can identify the following popular traditions that promised salvation for their followers: Mahayana Buddhism, Rabbinical Judaism, Christianity, and Manichaeism. Mahayana Buddhism is known to be a religion based on compassion. It became particularly popular among millions of Chinese who needed not only personal salvation but also a profound spiritual experience that they could not find in their traditional state and household religious rituals. Buddhists’ idea of salvation differs from that accepted by most Westerners since in this religion, the notion personal salvation is based not “on Hell or Heaven as the end of a soteriological choice, but on knowledge” (Maier 9). When it comes to Rabbinical Judaism, the Talmud containing moral teachings and post-biblical laws served as an instruction on how to walk along the path of salvation. One of the prescriptions is as follows: “A person should not abstain from carrying out the obligation to “be fruitful and multiply” (7: p. 195). As beingjewish puts it, in Judaism, it is believed that there is no need to search for personal salvation a priori, “for we are not doomed or damned at birth. We are not doomed or fated to sin. Quite the contrary. The Torah says: "If you do good, won't there be special privilege? And if you do not do good, sin waits at the door. It lusts after you, but you can dominate it” (Genesis 4:7). As one of the major world religions, Christianity promised to offer salvation to all of the mankind. For Christians, personal salvation can be attained through becoming spiritually perfect. In The Gospel of Saint Matthew it is stated that, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (7: p. 199). Jesus also said that those who morn as well as are meek, peacemakers, pure in heart, and merciful will be saved, too. The same refers to “those who hunger and thirst for righteousness” (7: p. 199). In the Gospel of Thomas it is noted that “if you bring forth what is within you what you have will save you” (7: p. 217). Manichaeism, also referred to as the Religion of Light, urged people to gain their personal salvation through becoming an integral part of the cosmic struggle between the forces of Light and Darkness. The prophet Mani proclaimed that in the end, Light will win the eternal battle and Darkness will be gone forever. Manichaeism offered a way to overcome the world of evil in an ethical way. The Manichaean dualism extended to a person whose soul is as divided as everyone else in the world. Basically, this is a dark ...

1. 1
Student’s Name
Professor’s Name
History
June 14 2017
Personal Salvation
The idea of personal salvation marked one of the major shifts
that took place in some of the religious traditions. Therefore,
the newer cults promised celestial intervention and succor for
devotees. Before that, most of earlier traditions had used to
prescribe religious behaviors with a primary intent of appeasing
supernatural forces or maintaining cosmic harmony. One can
identify the following popular traditions that promised salvation
for their followers: Mahayana Buddhism, Rabbinical Judaism,
Christianity, and Manichaeism.
Mahayana Buddhism is known to be a religion based on
compassion. It became particularly popular among millions of
Chinese who needed not only personal salvation but also a
profound spiritual experience that they could not find in their
traditional state and household religious rituals. Buddhists’ idea
of salvation differs from that accepted by most Westerners since
in this religion, the notion personal salvation is based not “on
Hell or Heaven as the end of a soteriological choice, but on
knowledge” (Maier 9).
When it comes to Rabbinical Judaism, the Talmud containing
moral teachings and post-biblical laws served as an instruction
on how to walk along the path of salvation. One of the

2. prescriptions is as follows: “A person should not abstain from
carrying out the obligation to “be fruitful and multiply” (7: p.
195). As beingjewish puts it, in Judaism, it is believed that
there is no need to search for personal salvation a priori, “for
we are not doomed or damned at birth. We are not doomed or
fated to sin. Quite the contrary. The Torah says: "If you do
good, won't there be special privilege? And if you do not do
good, sin waits at the door. It lusts after you, but you can
dominate it” (Genesis 4:7).
As one of the major world religions, Christianity promised to
offer salvation to all of the mankind. For Christians, personal
salvation can be attained through becoming spiritually perfect.
In The Gospel of Saint Matthew it is stated that, “Blessed are
the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (7: p.
199). Jesus also said that those who morn as well as are meek,
peacemakers, pure in heart, and merciful will be saved, too. The
same refers to “those who hunger and thirst for righteousness”
(7: p. 199). In the Gospel of Thomas it is noted that “if you
bring forth what is within you what you have will save you” (7:
p. 217).
Manichaeism, also referred to as the Religion of Light, urged
people to gain their personal salvation through becoming an
integral part of the cosmic struggle between the forces of Light
and Darkness. The prophet Mani proclaimed that in the end,
Light will win the eternal battle and Darkness will be gone
forever. Manichaeism offered a way to overcome the world of
evil in an ethical way. The Manichaean dualism extended to a
person whose soul is as divided as everyone else in the world.
Basically, this is a dark beginning, but it also contains particles
of light that man must save from the power of matter. This
salvation is possible in the conditions of the strictest asceticism
such as abstinence from meat and some types of plant food,
complete celibacy, and avoidance of contact with perishable
things.

3. Works Cited
Andrea, Alfred J. & James H. Overfield. The Human Record:
Sources of Global History, Volume I: To 1500. Cengage
Learning, 2011.
“How Does a Jew Attain Salvation?”
http://www.beingjewish.com/toshuv/salvation.html. Accessed
June 14, 2017.
Maier, Rudi. “Salvation in Buddhism.” Journal of Adventist
Mission Studies, Vol. 10 (1): 9-34.
Unfortunately, after three weeks and three assignments, it is
obvious that there still are some misconceptions or
misunderstandings regarding some of the basic expectations for
your essays.
This email is an attempt to be unequivocally clear about some
very basic things moving forward. Most of these have been
explained previously, but it is clear that there are a number of
people who either have not read the guidelines or do not
understand them. From here on, all expectations will be applied
stringently, with no exceptions. Therefore, it is imperative that
you understand the following:
1. You are required to use multiple direct excerpts from
multiple primary sources from your textbook, The Human
Record by Andrea and Overfield (please only cite the primary
sources).
2. You are required to answer one of the questions posed for
each assignment.
3. You are required to have a thesis statement in your
introductory paragraph stating your argument clearly and
directly.
4. You are required to adhere closely to the stipulated two-page
length for your essays (three pages for Assignment #7).
In addition to these requirements, you are expected to be doing

4. the following:
1. You are expected to have read the rules and guidelines
outlined on the class website regarding essay expectations and
grading criteria.
2. You are expected to read the feedback posted on D2L for
each assignment.
3. You are expected to contact either myself or Dr. Brockey via
email if you have any questions on either the essay
guidelines/rules or the feedback for your essays.
On grading, you will not receive a passing grade if:
1. Your paper doesn't utilize multiple excerpts from
multiple primarysources from your textbook (The Human
Record by Andrea and Overfield).
2. Your paper fails to answer one of the questions posed.
3. Your paper lacks an argument.
4. Your paper does not respect thestipulated two-page length
(within a short paragraph over or under the length requirement).
Lastly, a brief comment about the difference between summary
and analysis, an important distinction that several people seem
to be misunderstanding:
· Please be sure you understand the difference between analysis
and summary:
· Summary is an account or explanation of the main points of
something (for example - listing is a form of summary).
· Analysis is an examination of the elements of something,
typically as a basis for interpretation (for example - comparing
and contrasting are both different kinds of analysis).
· Your introduction should include a summary of the historical
context that your essay will discuss.
· Your introduction should include a thesis statement that is
analytical in nature (many of you are writing summative thesis
statements - this will result in a poor score).
· Your body paragraphs should include both summative and
analytical statements. The summative statements should explain
the evidence that you cite. The analytical statements should
examine and interpret and evidence that you cite and connect it

5. to the overall argument.
· Your conclusion should include both a summary of your
argument, as well as an analysis of your argument that has not
been discussed yet.
Answer one of these questions in a two-page, double-spaced,
essay. Use 12-point type and 1 inch margins (Attention! this is
not the default for MS Word). Be sure to quote evidence from
the textbook, indicating the edition number and page number–
e.g. (7: p. 15)–in parentheses after the part of the source that
you quote. Include your last name and the unit number in your
filename, e.g. Brockey – Assignment 1.
1. Among the main themes discussed in our sources is virtue.
Both religious texts and legal codes present human behavior in
ideal forms, encouraging others to emulate proper attitudes and
modes of conduct. Review the sources that discuss virtue,
paying attention to the different understandings of virtue. Write
an essay in which you compare two different civilizations’
understanding of this subject. Consider what it meant to be
virtuous in each society, and which character attributes are seen
as most important.
2. The first civilizations described in this course emerged from
the fusion of clan units. Consider the various forms of social
organization that early societies created. What different forms
can you identify, and what principles guide the structuring of
different world civilizations? Write an essay in which you
compare two different forms of social organization in different
civilizations. What forces serve to maintain these configurations
during the period we have covered thus far?

6. Ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia
For most of human history, Mesopotamia and ancient
Egypt were the most popular early civilisations. Mesopotamia
and Egypt were divided by rivers that ran between them and
deposited silt along the riverbeds making the soil suitable for
agricultural production (Spielvoge 19). These rivers comprised
of the Tigris, Nile and the Euphrates. Due to the increase in
agricultural production in these regions, development of cities
such as Eriku and Ur was experienced in Mesopotamia while
Thebes developed in Egypt. Besides, river Nile served as a
transport channel for people using canoes and provided security
from enemies since crossing its marshy delta was a challenge.
Mesopotamia and ancient Egypt, though, had key differences in
the manner in which they were organized as well as their
cultural and religious structures.
First off, ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia had varying
political structures. In early Egypt, the pharaoh was regarded as
the king as well as the symbol of gods on earth. The citizens
believed that pharaoh was their god to an extent that they
addressed him without direct contact. Besides, a son of a
pharaoh succeeded him upon death. Mesopotamia had a
different political structure where regional states governed
themselves for a long period before the appointment of Sargon
the Great as the king. Further, the citizens of Mesopotamia did
not regard the king as divine as was the case with ancient
Egypt.
Another way they were dissimilar is that the status of
women varied between the two civilisations. Mesopotamia was
one of the early civilisations that agitated for equal status
between women and men including the rights to conduct
business, request for a divorce and to own land. However, this
later changed and women were deprived their rights by fellow

7. men who assumed a higher status. In Egypt, women belonged to
an upper class than men because they were respected and they
comprised of most religious leaders, such as goddesses and
priests.
Notably, ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia were divided
along trade preferences. The early Egypt civilisation composed
of fewer trading partners who comprised of Africa ad
Mesopotamia. However, Mesopotamia had a large number of
trading partners, such as Assyrian traders, Indians, and Arabians
(Retsö 3). Besides, they had more trading complements than the
ancient Egypt civilisation because they regarded trade as a vital
activity for resource.
Moreover, they two civilisations differed in terms of
religious organisation. Mesopotamia had multiple goddesses and
gods and they worshiped and offered sacrifice in large buildings
known as ziggurat. In contrast, ancient Egypt used ordinary
house like structures as their temples. They also conducted
rituals in these temples under the leadership of the priest to
appease their goddesses and gods.
The two civilisations also had a key similarity where they
promoted social stratification through the existence of a noble
class of landowners, and nobles at the top while the slaves were
at the bottom. Another major similarity between the two
civilisations is that they both farmed. They were located in an
area suitable for agriculture due to silt deposits from rivers
Nile, Tigris and Euphrates. These rivers also provided a source
of water for their animals and crops. Ancient Egypt and
Mesopotamia were also similar because they were polytheistic,
that is, they believed that more than one god ruled their world
(Andrea and James 19). They also held that the gods created
them and their purpose was to worship them.
I've made some comments on your essay via Turnitin. Please
consult those when reviewing your grade. Also, essays need to

8. be two full pages of written work. Grade summary follows:
1) Argument (15/25) - You include a thesis statement, however,
it lacks depth and clarity. You need to further address the points
that you will expand on and support with evidence and analysis
in your essay. In addition, you cite, reference, or otherwise talk
about very little of the source material in the readings (you can't
do history without engaging sources).
2) Organization (15/25) - Your essay lacks clear organization.
There is no conclusion and the body of your essay is disjointed
with few clear transitions. Your essay lacks an organizational
framework.
3) Insight (15/25) - You make broad claims about Egyptian
society without making any reference to sources,
documentation, expert analysis, etc. Most of your claims lack
any reference to supporting historical evidence at all.
4) Style (15/25) - Word choice is problematic - you have several
usage and spelling errors. Sentence fluency is lacking at times,
which creates an incoherent analysis at times (esp in the last
third of the essay).
Tips for Writing Assignments in History 140 On-Line
There are a few helpful tips that students should consider before
writing their papers in this class. Put together, these will make
the process of producing the weekly response papers simpler.
Remember that it is always possible to contact either the
professor or the teaching assistant if you have any questions.
1. Watch all of the videos assigned for each unit, as well as the
video introduction to the readings.
2. Read all parts of the assigned readings for the unit, then
review the previous readings.
3. Consider the question carefully with a goal to understanding
what it is asking. All of the questions for this course have one
major theme, and your first goal should be to identify that
theme.

9. 4. Think about the different readings for the unit. How do they
relate to that theme? What different topics emerge when you
think about the broad theme in the question as it concerns the
readings?
5. Make a list of the topics that come to mind and find relevant
passages in the source texts which speak directly to those
topics. Record the page numbers and precise citations that you
will use for evidence.
6. Consider how you will approach answering the question in
your paper. Your most general thoughts will comprise your
introduction.
7. Begin by writing the three or four body paragraphs of your
paper. State the topic first (in a topic sentence), then give some
context or explanation about that topic and how it relates to the
specific source you will cite. At the end of the paragraph, cite
the evidence from the sources that directly supports the
assertion that you made in your topic sentence.
8. After writing your body paragraphs, conclude by briefly
summing up your topics and by moving your analysis slightly
deeper. Your conclusion will necessarily be short, and perhaps
suggestive of the broader themes that came to mind as you
reflected on the question.
9. Go back to the beginning to write your introductory
paragraph. Start by announcing the general theme of the paper,
but keep your statement focused on what the question seeks.
Gradually move from generalization to specific topics,
listing the topics that you have stated in your body paragraph
topic sentences towards the end of your introductory paragraph
to serve as a guide to the reader.
10. Proofread your work. Use a spell-check first, then re-read
your work to make sure each word makes sense and is spelled
correctly. Be sure that there are no grammatical errors and that
your words say what you mean.

10. Sample Essay
Question:
Our course in World History considers several forms of
historical writing. Memory is indeed one of the central
characteristics of human thought, but it is often a weak tool.
Consider the sources that we have read which deal with
history—that is, times prior to the moment in which the texts
were produced. What can we learn about history and memory by
reading these ancient historians? What do their sources reveal
about the function of historical writing? Compare the writings
of three different ancient authors in which you detect a
historical consciousness.
Answer:
Some of the oldest documents that have survived to the present
record events from times far further in the past. These sources
reveal that humans have long endeavored to write down their
memories so as to preserve some knowledge of the past for
future generations. The purpose of such efforts has been to
legitimate those who produce history, to commemorate virtue,
and to instruct readers. These three functions are clearly shown
in the earliest historical documents, examples of which will be
given here.
One of the basic functions of history is to account for the
present state of affairs. Rulers, therefore, were keen to produce
records that showed their legitimate place within a line of
succession. Even more important for those rulers would be to
demonstrate that their inheritance of power came, whether
immediately or at some remove, from a supernatural source. The
epic of Gilgamesh provides a good example of this type of
history writing. When describing Gilgamesh’s trip to the
netherworld, the author claims that he identified inside a “house
of dust” former rulers of times past, as well as those whose
tales were legendary. He clearly see himself as part of this
company when he mentions “all those who once wore crowns
and ruled the world in days of old … and there was Etana, that

11. king of Kish whom the eagle carried to Heaven in the days of
old.” (10)
Another reason for writing history, according to our sources, is
to preserve the names of those who practiced virtue. One of the
texts that we have read speaks directly to this desire. With
regard to the civilization of Ancient Egypt, the text known as
the “Tale of the Eloquent Peasant” discusses how the regular
order of the universe, ma’at, was ensured by the virtuous and
those individuals deserve to be remembered by future
generations. “For ma’at will endure until eternity / And go
down to the grave with him who performs it”, this source
insists, continuing to state that, “He will be buried, and the
earth will enfold him / But his name will never vanish upon the
earth, / For he will be remembered because of his goodness.”
(22)
Of course, the remembrance of things past also served as a
warning for proper behavior in the present. In other words,
history can also serve to instruct the living about the problems
caused by incorrect actions in the past. It can teach by
remembering the deeds of the good just as well as by recalling
the flaws of the bad. The Book of Documents, written during
the Shang Dynasty in China, gives many good examples of this
when it discusses the “Mandate of Heaven”. This concept
relates to the approval of the supernatural forces of a given
ruler. The lessons that one learns from history, according to this
source, are that a ruler must behave correctly in order to enjoy
the Mandate of Heaven. Such behavior has to include proper
reverence for the past, such as when Yi Yin “sacrificed to the
former king, and presented the heir-king reverently before the
shrine of his grandfather.” But Yi Yin was not content perform
this pious gesture, he also instructed his heir on the importance
of knowing the past: “He said, “Oh, of old the former kings of
Xia cultivated earnestly their virtue, and then there were no
calamities from Heaven. … But their descendants did not follow
their example, and Heaven sent down great calamities.” (33/34)
These three examples show that history served to legitimize,

12. explain, and caution the present by using the past. The past was
thus present in the minds of our most distant ancestors, serving
many of the same functions for them that it does for us.
Paper Writing Tips
Here are a list of suggestions for things to include and things to
avoid when writing your assignments. Please read this document
carefully, even if every suggestion does not apply to you.
1. When writing your assignments, please keep in mind that
all assignments start out with an initial grade of 0, not 100. In
other words, as your assignments are read, the instructor assigns
points for clear, well-supported arguments, good use of
evidence, well-structured paragraphs, etc. You do not start out
at 100 and lose points whenever you do something the instructor
does not like. Because of this, it is imperative that you use your
two pages wisely. If you are leaving a large part of your second
page unused, you’re missing that many more opportunities to
impress upon the reader how well you’ve understood and how
much you’ve thought about the material. By the same token, if
you are writing more than two pages, you are giving yourself an
unfair advantage over your classmates. In the future, any
material extending onto a third page on a two page assignment
will not be read, in the interests of ensuring that students who
follow the length requirements are not disadvantaged.
2. The most important element in a successful assignment is
a clear and well-supported argument. An argument is any
contention with which a reasonable reader might disagree. For
example, “Babylonian civilization thrived in Mesopotamia
between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers” is a statement. An
argument would be a claim, such as: “While Babylonian legal
codes purported to defend justice for all, their unequal
treatment of members of different classes reinforced social
divisions.” Because the second example is an argument, you
would need to provide evidence from Hammurabi’s Code or
another primary sources to support your claim. For example,
you could cite or quote the passage which requires different
penalties for striking a peasant versus a noble.

13. Because your goal in these assignments is to craft a well-
supported argument, summarizing background information that
is not relevant to proving your arguments is a poor use of your
limited space. In particular, avoid using Profs. Andrea and
Overfield’s introductions to the documents in The Human
Record. If you are repeating the editors’ arguments and not
making your own, it is difficult to write a successful
assignment. After all, you are being graded, not Profs. Andrea
and Overfield. The more we see of your own arguments,
supported by primary source evidence, the more credit we can
give you. Finally, when citing evidence from the primary
sources, please simply use page numbers rather than the name
of the editors or the title of the textbook.
3. Thesis statements and topic sentences are very important
to successful assignments. A clear thesis statement in your
introduction serves to give the reader an idea of your
overarching argument and how it connects to the prompt you’ve
selected. You will be assessed according to how persuasively
you prove your thesis in the rest of the assignment. Therefore,
if you have a vague or poorly-defined thesis, it will be difficult
for you to prove it with evidence and thus harder for your
assignment to be successful. What a thesis statement does for
your assignment as a whole, a topic sentence does for each
individual paragraph. Make sure you have a topic sentence in
each paragraph stating an argument connected to your overall
thesis that you will attempt to prove in the rest of the
paragraph. So, in a body paragraph, you’re citing evidence that
supports the argument you make in your topic sentence, which
in turn supports your thesis. Therefore, your entire assignment
is coherent and connected. With that in mind, if you’re writing
about something that doesn’t help prove your thesis, it’s
something you can and should omit in favor of something
directly connected to your thesis.
4. Avoid comparisons to today’s world. One of the goals of
this class is to understand the past on its own terms; that is,
trying not to interpret past events solely in terms of modern

14. values and concepts. Particularly when addressing a prompt like
the first one for assignment 1, comparison to today’s world
muddles your analysis by introducing an object of analysis (the
present day) outside the scope of the assignment.
5. Never cite clichés (for example: the ends justify the
means) as part of your analysis.
6. And finally, be sure you are proofreading your
assignments after you’ve finished writing. Our purpose here is
not to test you on your knowledge of English grammar and
occasional mistakes are understandable. However, if you have
very many grammar and spelling mistakes to the point that it is
difficult to follow what you are saying, you may be marked
down. If your work contains many mistakes, it is usually a sign
that you did not devote sufficient time or attention to the
assignment. Proofread your assignments multiple times and read
your assignment out loud to catch awkward sentences. If a
sentence is hard to say out loud, it’s usually hard to follow on
the page. When in doubt, try to express yourself in as clear and
simple language as possible. It is far better to write simply and
to be understood than to use overcomplicated language or
grammatical constructions that read awkwardly and make it
difficult for your reader to follow your arguments.
Further Writing Tips
From the experience of a former Teaching Assistant, Mr. Brian
Van Wyck:
The first thing I’d like to talk about is comparisons. Many of
the questions you’ll be answering this semester will ask you to
make comparisons and there are a few important things to keep
in mind when writing a comparative assignment. First, just
because an assignment is comparative doesn’t mean you don’t
need an argument. Simply stating that three things are different
is not sufficient in these assignments. For example, Greek
beliefs were obviously different from Israelite Judaism, which
in turn was obviously different from Vedic Brahmanism. This is
true by definition, because if they weren’t different, they’d all
be the same religion. Your job is to explain to the reader why

15. these differences matter. Why did these differences arise? What
effects did they have on adherents of these systems of belief?
Answer these questions with a well-supported argument and
you’re on your way to a good comparative assignment.
Secondly, think about the structure of your comparison and
make sure you’re comparing like to like. That is, if you’re
comparing Judaism to Hinduism, there are any number of
potential things you could compare: style of ritual dress, artistic
representations of deities, number of gods, etc. etc. Select only
a few things to compare. For example, you might have
compared Greek to Vedic Brahman sacrifices and discussed how
the two reveal different ideas about the hierarchical ordering of
the world.
Finally, consider arranging your comparisons thematically. If
you’re comparing three aspects of three different belief
systems’ rituals, rather than having a paragraph on each
religion, have a paragraph on each aspect you’re comparing,
with evidence drawn from multiple religions. This accomplishes
two things. Firstly, it builds the comparison into the structure of
your assignment, thus ensuring you don’t relegate the
comparison (one of the main points of the assignment) to a final
paragraph. Secondly, it helps you avoid the temptation to spend
time on unnecessary introductory information, e.g. “Vedic
culture was found in what is now modern-day India.”
Also, a common comment I’ve made on many assignments has
to do with summary versus analysis. This guide here does a
better job explaining the distinction between the two than I can
and has concrete suggestions for how to tell if you’re
summarizing too much. If that’s a comment I’ve given you on
one of your assignments, I strongly urge you to take a look at
the guide before writing your next assignment.