The Rise and Fall of Katy and the Greeks

1. Hi there! Welcome back to Already in Progress! It’s so good to see you again! This is
going to be a college chapter, and you know what that means: fewer pictures, fewer
words, and more parties. So without any further ado, let’s get right down to it. Ladies and
gentlemen, I present: Already in Progress!

2. As you can see, Gerard has joined Bertie at college. Unlike most hazing ensembles, his
actually coordinates with itself. It’s a pity Gerard’s not a little more country. Bertie
immediately rushed to help him settle in and pick out a new outfit or three.

3. I don’t know if I ever mentioned it before, but Bertie and Gerard have been friends since
they were old enough to jump on the bed together. This almost certainly means that
Bertie will never date Gerard.
I have heard that ACR has something called the “friend zone,” and that anyone placed
there is automatically not a romantic target. Bertie seems to maintain a friend zone all on
his own.

4. Carmen Baity is not in it.

5. Neither is our very own Architecture Guy, Cory Jeffress.
CORY JEFFRESS: Sorry, Bertie, but – no.
BERTRAM: Why not?
CORY: I’ve been hearing some…things.
BERTRAM: Wike what?
CORY: You know, I don’t want to go into it. Let’s just say that I can’t right now, okay? I
think maybe it would be better if we saw other people.
BERTRAM: I’m okay with that.
CORY: Other people and not each other, I mean, Bertie.

6. GERARD: What’s wrong?
BERTRAM: Cowy Jeffwess, he… he said he didn’t want to see me anymore. I don’t
undewstand. We awways have fun.
GERARD: Maybe he’s not happy about Carmen.
BERTRAM: But I’m fwiends with Cawmen and Cowy!
GERARD: I think he objects to you kissing her.
BERTRAM: But we’we fwiends.
GERARD: I’m your friend and you don’t kiss me.
BERTRAM (skeptically): Do you want me to?
GERARD: I’m okay, thanks.

7. GERARD (V.O.): But you know what we need?
BERTRAM (V.O.): What?
GERARD (V.O.): A house off campus, where you can have a little privacy.
ZENON RUDELANSKY: So yeah, I’m looking for a couple guys to help me split the
rent on this place.
BERTRAM: It’s kind of big, isn’t it?
ZENON: Well, I was thinking that if you guys were up for it, we could apply for a Greek
House charter. That would actually give us tax-exempt status, so if we bought anything
for the house, it’d be cheaper.
GERARD: What are you, an accounting major or something? – Dibs on the bed!

8. Moving brought Bertie’s mojo back in no time. This is Vanessa Adams.

9. To be fair, Bertie concentrates his romantic actions only on the person he’s with at the
moment. That doesn’t stop him getting other people’s phone numbers, though. Vanessa
doesn’t seem to mind.

10. The boys did apply for a Greek House charter, partly for the tax break and partly for the
toga parties.
Toga! Toga! Toga!
Plus, they make a fairly decent amount of money off playing music at their parties.

11. Enough to buy a new stand-up bass. It turns out that Zenon has nine Creativity points to
Bertie and Gerard’s ten each, so they sound pretty good even when they’re just
practicing.

12. Gerard is discovering the main benefit of being Greek: everyone likes a man in a toga.
Even skater girls. This one’s name is Beverly Mazza; she used to have the dorm room
across from Gerard before he moved out.

13. Gerard is also the official Cow Mascot Drainer. I don’t have that hack that lets you kill
Cow Mascots on sight, and anyway they’ll just respawn if you do kill them, so I
personally just drain them of as many skills as they will put up with before running away
in terror. I have yet to drain one completely dry, and getting skills that way gives you
more time for parties.

14. And for being propositioned by random naked ladies.

15. Right at the start of Bertie’s Junior year, the stand-up bass was stolen. Bertie was
devastated, but there was enough money in the budget to replace it and to add a guitar.

16. Which is how Gerard found out that cheerleader Katy Santander had more than one
talent.
GERARD: Katy, you really sounded good.
KATY SANTANDER: Do you think so? You’re just being nice. I’m not all that good.
GERARD: No, you’re good. You’re really good. And you can sing, too. Listen, we want
you to join the band.
KATY: Me? Join your band? You’re not joking?
GERARD: No, of course I’m not. Bertie’s already written a couple songs for you to try
out.

17. And that is how Katy and The Greeks was born.
My hands burn
My eyes burn
My lips burn with words I cannot speak

18. Blood on my hands but I did not do it
Blood on my mouth but I did not do it
Brothers come to me
And with me fly away

19. Yes, things were going very well. At the end of Bertie’s senior year, Cory Jeffress came
back to him. In this picture, you can see Bertie’s boyfriend, both of his girlfriends, and
Potential Boyfriend #1, Curtis Davison.

20. Potential Boyfriend #2 is Robert Steele here. I have decided to try to maintain two of
each for Bertie, since he likes variety. Theoretically, I could have up to four of each, but I
think that would be prohibitively difficult when it comes to the moving-in-together stage.
Plus, I think that slapfests would make Bertie unhappy.

21. Gerard finally scored his first kiss.
What? Some people do make it to the beginning of their Junior year in college without
being kissed.
I’m not speaking from personal experience here, you understand. Nope, not me.

22. The parties picked up steam. Even professors started crashing them.

23. Zenon didn’t object to this.
ZENON: You came, Professor Miguel. I didn’t think you would.
PROFESSOR ARIANNA MIGUEL: Why not? It’s not so long ago I was at college
myself. And I’ve heard you guys throw good parties.
ZENON: We try.
PROFESSOR ARIANNA: You succeed. Are you going to be performing later tonight?
ZENON: Of course.
PROFESSOR ARIANNA: Then I’d better lay off the juice. I wouldn’t want to lose
control and throw my bra on stage again.
ZENON: Uh – you’ve done that?
PROFESSOR ARIANNA: When Endimonidia & Stacey came through, yeah. I threw it
to Yusuf Medici.
ZENON: The drummer?
PROFESSOR ARIANNA: What can I say? I have a thing for drummers. What
instrument do you play, by the way?
ZENON (quickly): The drums.
And then Katy and The Greeks broke up.

24. Later, there was much heated debate about exactly whose fault this was. Gerard was
obviously in the clear.

25. Zenon was a contributor.
KATY: Ew! No! Leave me alone!

26. But Bertie seems to have been the deciding factor.
KATY: No! No! A thousand times NO! It’s bad enough that you stare at my butt every
rehearsal!
BERTRAM: I don’t awways –
KATY: No, sometimes you stare at my boobs instead! I’m not putting up with this any
more!
BERTRAM: But what about the band – ? The songs – ?
KATY: Sing. Them. Your. Self!

27. BERTRAM (V.O.): But I wote them fow a woman!
BERTRAM
You’re not allowed to forget me
You’re not allowed
I walked my feet bloody for you
I carried your child for you –
BERTRAM: Guys, I feew stupid. I’m a guy – I can’t sing this stuff. We need to find
another giww.
GERARD (unsympathetically): You should have thought of that before you hit on our
lead singer.
ZENON (ditto): Keep going. I want to hear you sing the one about “a woman who isn’t
me” next.
On which ignominious note, Bertie’s Senior year ended.

28. And as Bertie heads back home in pretty okay transitional clothing, it’s probably a good
time to end this chapter, too. True, Gerard has his Senior year left, and Zenon’s barely a
Junior. But quite frankly, Gerard is too easygoing to be particularly interesting, and
Zenon’s worse. Aside from becoming best friends with his professor, that is. I can
integrate them with a regular update no problem – and I will, next time.
I hope you’ll join me!
***************
As far as I know, no band named Endimonidia & Stacey exists. Nor to the best of my
knowledge is there a drummer named Yusuf Medici.
All lyrics in this chapter were by yours truly. That would be why they were so awful.