2. Informal Pieces
• I chose topics that I found interesting and
relatable to my personal life
• Topics include:
– Technology
– Buffalo current events
– Funny Youtube videos
3. Strengths
• I was able to find ways to connect to the topics
given.
• I was able to relate a movie I had seen to the
topic provided by one of my classmates.
4. Weaknesses
• I had trouble creating transitions between ideas. At times I am
unsure when to create a new paragraph. I also need to work
on my conclusion sentences. I tend to end paragraphs with
just a regular sentence.
5. Analytical Essay
• From the first draft to the final draft, I
corrected:
– Intro paragraph and thesis statement
– Information and content
– Transitions of paragraphs
– Including sources
6. First Draft:
Final Draft:
• I refined my thesis to be more specific in what I am analyzing
• I narrowed my topic to include information a reader would be interested in.
It allowed me to have a better conversation with the listener
7. My weakness is listing information that only add to the bulk of the essay but
does not further give substance to the piece as a whole. I need to work on
explaining why information like this is important.
Final Draft:
Final Draft:
I improved my conclusion paragraph but need to additionally work on
explaining the importance of the topic.
8. Argumentative Essay
• From the first draft to the final draft, I
corrected:
– Citations and sources
– Strengthening my argument by using more details
– Conclusion paragraph
– Transition of paragraphs
9. Second Draft:
Final Draft:
I included more about how piracy is hindering the advancement of
knowledge and information. By using examples of books, it shows that piracy
isn’t just used for music and movies. It strengthens the argument further.
10. First Draft:
Final Draft:
I added to the conclusion in a way to make it emphasize the
implications of my argument. It explains why the information I
provided matters.
11. Overall Strengths
• I am good at listing data that can support my essay. I find that
listing facts makes my essays more convincing.
12. Overall Strengths
• I am also good at explaining definitions and terms that the
readers may not understand
13. Overall Weaknesses
• I need to work on transitioning my paragraphs better. I tend to
jump around with my ideas.
You reccomended that one paragraph
belonged with another paragraph because
it flowed ideas better.
14. Overall Weaknesses
• I have trouble summing up my information in the conclusion
to discuss the overall importance and implications. I have
been working on fixing this in my Argumentative and
Analytical essays.
• I also need to work on citing my sources when I find the
information. In my early drafts, I would use information I
found and forget to cite it. This would cause complications
later when I had to search to find the source again.
