2. INFORMAL PIECES
• I chose topics that I found interesting and relatable
to my personal life
• Topics include:
• Technology
• Buffalo current events
• Funny Youtube videos
3. STRENGTHS
• I was able to find ways to connect to the topics
given.
• I was able to relate a movie I had seen to the topic
provided by one of my classmates.
4. WEAKNESSES
• I had trouble creating transitions between ideas. At
times I am unsure when to create a new
paragraph. I also need to work on my conclusion
sentences. I tend to end paragraphs with just a
regular sentence.
5. ANALYTICAL ESSAY
• From the first draft to the final draft, I corrected:
•
•
•
•
Intro paragraph and thesis statement
Information and content
Transitions of paragraphs
Including sources
6. First Draft:
Final Draft:
• I refined my thesis to be more specific in what I am analyzing
• I narrowed my topic to include information a reader would be
interested in. It allowed me to have a better conversation with
the listener
7. My weakness is listing information that only add to the bulk of the
essay but does not further give substance to the piece as a whole.
I need to work on explaining why information like this is important.
Final Draft:
Final Draft:
I improved my conclusion paragraph but need to additionally
work on explaining the importance of the topic.
8. ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAY
• From the first draft to the final draft, I corrected:
•
•
•
•
Citations and sources
Strengthening my argument by using more details
Conclusion paragraph
Transition of paragraphs
9. Second Draft:
Final Draft:
I included more about how piracy is hindering the
advancement of knowledge and information. By using
examples of books, it shows that piracy isn’t just used for music
and movies. It strengthens the argument further.
10. First Draft:
Final Draft:
I added to the conclusion in a way to make it
emphasize the implications of my argument. It explains
why the information I provided matters.
11. OVERALL STRENGTHS
• I am good at listing data that can support my essay.
I find that listing facts makes my essays more
convincing.
12. OVERALL STRENGTHS
• I am also good at explaining definitions and terms
that the readers may not understand
13. OVERALL WEAKNESSES
• I need to work on transitioning my paragraphs
better. I tend to jump around with my ideas.
You recommended that one
paragraph belonged with another
paragraph because it flowed ideas
better.
14. OVERALL WEAKNESSES
• I have trouble summing up my information in the
conclusion to discuss the overall importance and
implications. I have been working on fixing this in my
Argumentative and Analytical essays.
• I also need to work on citing my sources when I find
the information. In my early drafts, I would use
information I found and forget to cite it. This would
cause complications later when I had to search to
find the source again.
