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Existential philosophy and psychotherapy at the Weekend UNi 2018
1. Existential Philosophy and Psychotherapy
Emmy van Deurzen
Weekend University 2018.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
2. Facebook and LinkedIn: Existential Therapy
www.emmyvandeurzen.com
www.existential.academy
www.dilemmas.org
www.slideshare.net
www.researchgate.net
Twitter: @emmyzen @existacademy@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
3. Emmy van Deurzen
MPhil, MPsych, PHD, CPsychol, FBPsS
•Visiting Professor Middlesex University -UK
•Director Dilemma Consultancy
•Director Existential Academy
•Principal New School of Psychotherapy
and Counselling - London
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
5. 3d edition of Existential Counselling and
Psychotherapy in practice or
Everyday Mysteries, 2nd edition
Existential Therapy: Distinctive Features
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
6. What is existential
therapy?
Existential therapy is a philosophical
method of psychotherapy, which
focuses on the clarification of human
existence in order to enable a person
to engage with problems in living in a
creative, active and reflective manner
to find new meaning and purpose.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
7. What is life for?
What are the meanings that set us on fire ?
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
9. Making sense of meaning
Life is not simplistic or binary, but complex
Neither dualism nor materialism nor idealism
Everything is multi-layered and connected
There are physical, social, personal and
ideological or spiritual aspects to everything and
tensions everywhere
Not just perspectivism or dual aspect theory or
epiphenomenalism
Dimensionalism
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
10. All is connected and
layered in the universe
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
11. We are never but an aspect, an element, a
part of a wider context. Relationship is
essential to our very survival and
inspires everything we do. (Deurzen,
1997: 95)
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
12. Kierkegaard
Most people are subjective toward themselves
and objective toward all others, frightfully
objective sometimes –
but the task is precisely to be objective toward
oneself and subjective toward all others.
(Kierkegaard, 1998: 72)
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
13. Existential Therapy
Talking about your troubles is only helpful if you
can talk through them in constructive dialogue
taking you beyond blame and shame.
No system of psychopathology
Focus on Problems in Living: ontonomy
Philosophical view of human existence and the
wisdom of several millennia of thinking
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
14. Focus on the
HUMAN CONDITION
Understanding human difficulties, conflicts,
paradoxes, dilemmas, contradictions, predicaments
How can we approach the human struggle so that it
does not lead to the experience of depression,
anxiety and psychopathology?@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
15. Existential Therapy
Working with philosophical methods,
amongst which phenomenology,
dialectics, maieutics, hermeneutics
and heuristic methods.@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
16. Directive or non
directive?
The existential therapist is purposeful
(directional) rather than directive. Also direct.
Non-directiveness denies autonomy and can
easily lead to stagnation
A productive therapeutic relationship will be
challenging to both people
Clients will value a therapist who is willing to
stand with them, but who can also teach
them something new about life
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
17. Man’s task is simple:
he should cease letting
his existence be a
thoughtless accident
Friedrich Nietzsche: The Gay Science
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
18. Buber’s encounter
The interhuman: das Zwischenmenschlichen; the
in-between is where real communication takes
place (Buber, Between Man and Man, 1929).
All actual life is encounter (ibid: 62)
This is where truth is found.
In inter-subjectivity we create the world in which
we live together: I-It or I-Thou.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
19. Paul Ricoeur’s dialogue
The only way to achieve some form of knowledge is
to come to it gradually through dialogue.
This involves me in exploring both the archaeology,
or the landscapes of the past, and the teleology, or
the landscapes of the future, as you imagine them.
In terms of temporality there is a continuous altering
of meaning.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
24. Onto-dynamics
Learning to live in line with the laws of life
Paradox, conflict, difficulty and dilemmas are our daily
companions
When crisis comes we need to have the courage to
descend to rock bottom
Search for truth
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
25. How to create value and
meaning?
Through committed and engaged action
Step by step
Diligently proceeding no matter what
challenges come on your path
Steady progress comes from undaunted
focus on your project
Flexibility and finding joy in the process
rather than aiming for success or happiness
In friendship and collaboration with others.
Valuing what matters
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
27. Aim of existential dialogue
Enable people to search for truth in their lives
Help them live passionately and compassionately
Finding inner authority: think for yourself
Greater understanding of the human condition
Purpose and direction: intentionality
Paradox, dialectic: freedom, responsibility, life, death
Find talents, strength, vulnerability
Past, present, future, temporality
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
28. Learning the facts
Going beyond the findings of psychology@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
30. How do we experience
our world?
We pick up messages, moods and atmospheres.
We change the tone and affect the world in turn.
We interpret meanings.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
31. We are lenses, prisms, the I is like the
eye
We refract light/life
We transform what we receive and either reflect
it, absorb it, stop it, ward it off or pass it on in
tact.
We can also learn to magnify and illuminate it,
refracting all different facets (phenomenology)
We attribute, receive, transform and create
meanings
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
36. Dare to explore the cave
and make new
discoveries?
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
37. Aristotle
Achieving certain meanings and values
Eudaimonia: the good life : virtue ethics
Should benefit the community at large rather than only the
individual
Virtues of orderliness, deliberateness and clarity
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
38. Aristotelian practice
Pupils are taught to separate true beliefs from false
beliefs and to modify and transform their passions
accordingly
Winnowing and sifting opinions
Virtue ethics: live in line with the demon: force,
power, spirit.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
39. Epicureans
The Epicureans seek to treat human suffering by
removing corrupting desires and by eliminating pain
and disturbance (ataraxia).
Adjust values retaining only those that are attainable
and may bring pleasure.
Relinquish the unobtainable and adjust expectations
to what is realistic, so that with a slight of hand we
can obtain what we think we want.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
40. Skeptics
Pyrrho of Elis (c. 360-275 B.C.)
The Epicurean view is that pleasure is the only good
and we are taught to adjust our needs so as to
guarantee the procurement of pleasure from small
natural resources.
Skeptics: the only way to stop pain and suffering is to
simply not believe in or desire anything.
So whilst Epicureans try to get rid of false beliefs, the
Skeptics want to get rid of all beliefs.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
41. Stoic goal
For the Stoics the pupil's goal is to become his own
teacher and pupil
In order to improve a person's life the soul must be
exercised everyday, for instance by the use of logic
and poetry
The flourishing life affirms certain meanings:
wisdom, courage, justice, temperance
The means: detachment and self-control : apathy
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
42. Stoics: overcoming weakness
Ordering of the self and soul
Exercise of the mind
Lack of moral fibre and emotional weakness
Everything is connected, but Stoics consider that
different temperaments need different approaches
and that there is a critical moment (kairos) for
change :
Zeno: virtue is its own reward
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
43. Spinoza-ethics
Prop.VI. The mind has greater power over the
emotions and is less subject thereto, in so far as
it understands all things as necessary
Consider under a species of eternity what is
actually the case and work with that
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
44. Spinoza: the universe is governed by
necessary laws which when
respected and understood allow us
freedom: determinism<>contingency
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
45. Everything has an opposite: paradox is fundamental
you need to have known loss to be able to love, you need to have
suffered to learn to be happy, noise helps you appreciate silence,
absence shows you the value of presence
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
46. Making sense of life
High
Big
Far
Good
Low
Small
Near
Bad
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
47. Energy is the flow between
two poles
Source: kidzoneweather.com
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
48. Dialectics
Thesis, antithesis, synthesis.
Human evolution proceeds with constant conflict
and forward movement in overcoming a
previous state.
Paradoxes, conflicts and dilemmas are
integrated and gone beyond.
Perhaps this is the true purpose of life and
suffering: to learn, surpass and evolve.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
49. Dialectics: working with tension,
dilemma, conflict, opposition,
polarities, paradox
Thesis, antithesis, synthesis.
Human evolution proceeds with constant
conflict and forward movement in
overcoming a previous states.
Paradoxes and dilemmas
are integrated
and gone beyond.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
51. future
Thesis: my view
(past )
Antithesis: your view
(present)
Dialectics:
transcendence in space and time
Synthesis:
a wider view
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
52. Tensions and paradoxes at all levels
World Umwelt Mitwelt Eigenwelt Uberwelt
Physical Nature:
Life/
Death
Things:
Pleasure/
Pain
Body:
Health/
Illness
Cosmos:
Harmony/
Chaos
Social Society:
Love/
Hate
Others:
Dominance/Submi
ssion
Ego:
Acceptance/
Rejection
Culture:
Belonging/
Isolation
Personal Person:
Identity/Freed
om
Me:
Perfection/
Imperfection
Self:
Integrity/
Disintegration
Consciousness
:
Confidence/
Confusion
Spiritual: Infinite:
Good/
Evil
Ideas:
Truth/
Untruth
Spirit:
Meaning/
Futility
Conscience:
Right/
Wrong
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
53. Understanding
connections.
Helping persons to understand their difficulties
aims at exploring as much of the web of their
lives as is possible, focussing not on one
particular line but on the connections between
as many lines as show themselves.
(Hans Cohn, in Existential Perspectives,
2005:226)
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
54. Framework
Asking the BIG QUESTIONS (ontological questions)
What does it mean to be alive?
Why is there something rather than nothing?
How should I act and be in relation to other people?
How can I live a worthwhile life?
What will happen after I die?
Life questions us and we respond. Response-ability
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
55. We cannot avoid all danger and all
problems and need to learn to cope with
adversity and difficulties: life is a challenge
It is by going down into the abyss that we
recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble lies your treasure
Joseph Campbell
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
56. Existential Authors
Philosophers
of
Freedom
Phenomeno-
logists
Existentialists Post-
Structuralists
Existential-
Humanists
Sðren
Kierkegaard
1813-1855
Franz Brentano
1838-1917
Jean Paul
Sartre
1905-1980
Michel
Foucault
1926-1984
Martin Buber
1878-1965
Friedrich
Nietzsche
1844-1900
Edmund
Husserl
1859-1938
Maurice
Merleau Ponty
1908-1961
Emmanuel
Levinas
1905-1995
Paul Tillich
1886-1965
Arthur
Schopenhauer
1788-1860
Karl Jaspers
1883-1969
Simone de
Beauvoir
1908-1986
Paul Ricoeur
1913-2005
Rollo May
1909-1994
Fyodor
Dostoyevski
1821-1881
Martin
Heidegger
1889-1976
Gabriel Marcel
1889-1973
Jacques
Lacan
1901-1981
Hannah
Arendt
1906-1975
Karl Marx
1818-1883
Max Scheler
1874-1928
Albert Camus
1913-1960
Jacques
Derrida
1930-2004
Abraham
Maslow
1908-1970
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
60. Existential Practitioners
Early existential
Psychiatrists
Daseinsanalysis Humanistic-
Existential
Logotherapy
- Existential
Analysis
European
Existential
Phenomenological
Ludwig
Binswanger
1881-1966
Medard Boss
1904-1990
Rollo May
1909-1994
Viktor Frankl
1905-1997
Ronald D. Laing
1927-1989
Karl Jaspers
1883-1969
Gion Condrau
1919-2006
James Bugental
1915-2008
Joseph Fabry
1909 - 1999
Hans Cohn
1916-2004
Eugene
Minkowski
1885-1972
Alice Holzey-Kunz
1943-
Irvin Yalom
1931-
Paul Wong
1937-
Ernesto Spinelli
1949-
Jakob Moreno
1890-1974
Eric Craig
1944-
Kirk Schneider
1956-
Alfried Längle
1951-
Emmy van
Deurzen
1951-@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
63. Engagement is key
We go towards the world or keep away
We flee, freeze, stay in place, or approach,
loving or fighting with the world around us
We do this not only with other people
We do it with objects, animals, humans, our
selves and also with ideas, expectations, hopes,
fears and many other things
We are always in relationship and are more or
less available and engaged
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
64. Phenomenology and
existential therapy
We are always making sense of the world, we can never be free
of our assumptions.
Existential therapy is a phenomenological research project for
both therapist and client.
It needs to comply with rigorous standards of philosophical
research and verification as well as with the requirements of
human interaction and encounter.
In order to get a more accurate picture of the world we need to
understand how we make sense of it.
By attending – just noticing, describing – not explaining, and
not pre-judging, we can get a better idea of our assumptions
and worldview
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
65. Method: Edmund Husserl’s
Phenomenology
1859-1938
Phenomenology: appearance<>essence
Wesenschau: to things themselves.
Intentionality (Franz Brentano)
Intuition: question natural attitude.
Knowledge begins with experience
Bracketing assumptions, epoche
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
69. II. Eidetic Reduction
1. Noema.
2. Abschattungen:profiles.
3. Wesenschau: looking for essences.
4. Genetic constitution (vs. static).
5. Universals beyond the properties.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
70. III. Transcendental reduction
1. Cogito.
2. Transcendental ego.
3. Solipsism overcome.
4. Horizon of intentionality.
5. Self as point zero.
4. Transcendental intersubjectivity.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
71. We have to open up to
meaning, not hide from it
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
72. Work with bias.
Become aware of your own and your client’s bias:
outlook, assumptions, beliefs, prejudice, blind
spots, values: worldviews.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
73. Martin Heidegger:
Moved to Freiburg in 1906
Read Brentano On the manifold meaning of Being
Studied theology
Read Husserl
Doctorate on Doctrine of Judgement in Psychology
1916 qualified and started working with Husserl
1923 associate prof at Marburg
1927 Being and Time published
1929 what is metaphysics?
1933 Rector of Freiburg
1934 resigned as rector
1944 moved from Uni
1946 dismissed from chair
After this many new publications
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
75. Heidegger’s oeuvre
Ontology: study of Being
Being and Time (Sein und Zeit)
Dasein: phenomenology of human existence
The Turn: language, poetry, thinking and Being
Critique of nihilism of technology
Worked with Medard Boss: Zollikon lectures
Pupil of Husserl, colleague of Jaspers, inspired Sartre,
Merleau Ponty
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
76. Major publications
1927 Being and Time (Sein und Zeit)
1928 Basic problems of phenomenology
1930 What is metaphysics? On the essence of truth
1935 Introduction to Metaphysics
1946 The end of philosophy
1947 Letter on humanism
1949 the Turning
1949 the Pathway
1954 Question concerning Technology
1951 What is called Thinking?
1955 Discourse on thinking
1962 On Time and Being
1987 Zollikon lectures
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
77. Thrown in time
Dasein: being there. Ecstasies: past-present-
future. Historicity.
Being-in-the-world: Thrownness (Geworfenheit).
My being is always mine. I am the being for
whom being is an issue.
Care (Sorge) the world matters to me.
The being whose being matters to it.
I always live in time: no longer and not yet:
between birth and death.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
78. Existentialia
3 Existentialia: modes of being
1.Befindlichkeit: state of mind, disposition: being
situated.
2.Understanding (Verstand, v. Vernunft)
3.Discourse (Rede)
Stimmung: attunement
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
79. Anxiety as source of
energy
Anxiety is life energy rather than a symptom of illness
Anxiety individualizes. This individualization
brings Dasein back from its falling, and makes
manifest to it that authenticity and inauthenticity
are possibilities of its Being. (Heidegger 1927:191
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
80. Heidegger’s:
What is called thinking?
The task of living was to be authentically
resolute in anticipating death, but now it is in
letting be and releasing ourselves towards
Being and freedom
Allow yourself to own your life and the truth
of existence in Er-eignis and Gelassenheit
We have to make room for our life and for
the thanking, which is a deep contemplative
thinking: a welcoming of what actually is
But we have to think in solitude and cannot
penetrate each other’s solitude
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
81. FOURFOLD is ONE
The big bang in which Being explodes into EARTH,
WORLD, MEN and GODS, also creates the time-space
in which the fragments are related to each other
(Heidegger LXV 311, 485).
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
82. Heidegger’s Ereignis:
re-owning
Original thanking is the thanks owed for being.
That thanks alone gives rise to thinking of the
kind we know as retribution and reward in the
good and bad sense. (Heidegger 1954:141)
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
83. Reclaiming TIME-SPACE
Heidegger’s Zeit-raum: time-space, is not the same
as the space-time of physicists. Time-space is the
point where space and time come together before
the big-bang and they have their origin in a common
root.
It opens up the Spielraum, elbowroom or play-space
in which we find the truth of being.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
84. Multi dimensional time
Past
Present
Future
Eternity
Timelessness
Parallel universes
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
85. Getting to know yourself
in past, present, future
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
86. Structural Existential
Analysis In time (care)
We are
1. in the Past: as having been: forgetting or regretting Gewesenheit,
repetition
2. In the Present: as being: waiting, rushing Gegenwart, Dasein, Being-
with-in-the-world
3. In the Future: as going toward, longing or dreading Zukunft,
anticipation, Being-towards Death
4. In Temporality: as Being eternal or infinite Zeit und Sein Ereignis
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
87. Structural Existential
Analysis (SEA)
in space
Umwelt : way of being in the physical world in
relation to environment: sensations.
Mitwelt : relation to others and what are the
interactions: feelings.
Eigenwelt : Relation to self: thoughts.
Uberwelt : Relation to ideas and meaning: intuitions.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
89. Project
Man is characterized above all by his going beyond a
situation and by what he succeeds in making of what he
has been made.
This going beyond we find at the very root of the human-
in need. (scarcity)
This is what we call the project. (elementary objective,
original intention)
(Sartre, Search for a Method:91)
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
90. The fear of truth is the fear of freedom
Sartre’s Truth and Existence, 1989:34.
‘
Being open to true vision is to free ourselves: but we
need to find our path, our destiny and our direction
Reflected feelings help us to find meaning.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
91. Simone de Beauvoir
an Ethics of Ambiguity
Life is preoccupied in both perpetuating itself
and in transcending itself. If all it does is to
maintain itself than life is only not dying.
I wish that every human life might be pure
transparent freedom.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
92. Simone de Beauvoir
the Mandarins (625)
‘You can’t lead a proper life in a
society which isn’t proper, in which
every way you turn, you are always
caught’
You can’t draw a straight line in a
curved space.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
94. How to create value and
meaning?
Through committed and engaged action
Step by step
Diligently proceeding no matter what
challenges come on your path
Steady progress comes from undaunted
focus on your project
Flexibility and finding joy in the process
rather than aiming for success or happiness
In friendship and collaboration with others.
Valuing what matters
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
95. How to live? What is truth? What
is the ultimate value of life?
The values of psychotherapists determine to
some extent how they work and what they aim
for.
Cure/ healing
Coping/ support
Cognitive correction
Understanding
Analysis/Insight
Autonomy
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
99. Frankl’s way to
meaning
•Experiential values: what we take from the
world.
•Creative values: what we give to the world.
•Attitudinal values : the way we deal with
suffering.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
100. We need COURAGE
Tillich’s Courage to Be:
Courage is the universal self-affirmation of
one’s Being in the presence of the threat of
non-Being(Tillich 1952:163).
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
103. Meaning not happiness
Baumeister (1991) Meanings of Life
Baumeister concluded that there are four basic needs
for meaning:
1. Need for efficacy (physical)
2. Need for value (social)
3. Need for self-worth (personal)
4. Need for purpose (spiritual)
It is the process of going in the general direction of
these four objectives that makes for a good life.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
104. There is no abstract ethics. There is only an ethics in
a situation and therefore it is concrete.
Learning to live is a moral
struggle
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
105. A limited freedom
This is the limit I would today
accord to freedom: the small
movement which makes of a totally
conditioned social being someone
who does not render back
completely what his conditioning
has given him.
(Sartre, New Left Review interview,
1969:45).
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
108. Layers of a person’s life.
4.Physical: Umwelt
3.Social: Mitwelt
2.Personal: Eigenwelt
1.Spiritual: Uberwelt
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
109. Paradoxes of human
existence
Deurzen and Adams
challenge gain loss
Physical Death and
pain
Life to the full Unlived life or
constant fear
Social Loneliness
and
rejection
Understand
and be
understood
Bullying or being
bullied
Personal Weakness
and failure
Strength and
stamina
Narcissism or self
destruction
Spiritual Meaning-
Lessness
and futility
Finding an
ethics to live by
Fanaticism or apathy
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
110. Overview of conflicts, challenges and paradoxes on four dimensions
World Umwelt : where? Mitwelt : how? Eigenwelt: who? Uberwelt: why?
Physical:
survival
Nature:
Life/
Death
Things:
Pleasure/
Pain
Body:
Health/
Illness
Cosmos:
Harmony/
Chaos
Social:
affiliation
Society:
Love/
Hate
Others:
Dominance/Sub
mission
Ego:
Acceptance/
Rejection
Culture:
Belonging/
Isolation
Personal:
identity
Person:
Identity/Freedom
Me:
Perfection/
Imperfection
Self:
Integrity/
Disintegration
Consciousness:
Confidence/
Confusion
Spiritual:
meaning
Infinite:
Good/
Evil
Ideas:
Truth/
Untruth
Spirit:
Meaning/
Futility
Conscience:
Right/
Wrong
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
111. Existential intelligence
Embracing existence in its contradictions and rising to its
challenges
Realizing that there is no such thing as a perfect human
being or everlasting happiness, or an ideal situation
Learning to be resilient and flexible enough to negotiate
on-going paradoxes
Facing existential challenges in a personal and creative
manner that allows for dialectic and surpassing
Grappling with tensions, conflicts and dilemmas and
slowly learning to make sense of it
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
112. What has been the worst, most
unsettling experience of your
life?
How did it happen?
What was it like while it happened?
What was your identity before, during, after?
How did it change you?
What did you learn?
How did it change your trajectory, way of life?
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
113. Project: active
transcendence
Man is characterized above all by his going
beyond a situation and by what he succeeds in
making of what he has been made.
This is what we call the project.
(Sartre, Search for a Method:91)
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
116. Post traumatic growth
Tedeschi and Calhoun, mid
nineties
90% of survivors report some specific growth,
like renewed appreciation of life.
Not just recovery, or survival but thriving.
Beyond resilience.
Learning to be creative
Meichenbaum: only 5-10% of those traumatised
suffer PTSD
Move beyond pre traumatic level of functioning.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
117. Finding your inner
balance
Physical: safety, sleep, food,
comfort, survival, healing, repair,
recovery
Social: strong
relationships,
allow and
understand
emotions,
belonging,
caring, sharing,
support
Psychological: clear thinking,
making sense, analysis,
understanding, new perspective,
taking charge, responsibility,
character building
Spiritual: review
values, new
vision, trust,
transcendence,
dialectic,
stronger beliefs,
meaning,
purpose
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
118. The art of living is to be equal to all
our emotions and experiences rather
than to select and cultivate only the
safe or pleasant ones
There are many opposites of love:
Indifference, hate, suffocation, and most of
all: fear
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
119. Sisyphus: Life as a futile
uphill struggle
There is but one truly serious philosophical
problem and that is … whether life is or is
not worth living. (Camus: The Myth of Sisyphus)
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
120. We need problems and
challenges: to learn and evolve
Camus:
In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was
in me an invincible summer
Happiness is nothing except the simple harmony
between a man and the life he leads
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
122. Life’s events are grist for
the mill: nurturance
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
123. Stages of life: Kierkegaard’s idea
of progress
Vegetative; sentient ; conscious ; knowing ; self-
knowing; aware of self awareness: autonomous.
(determined: past based)
Aesthetic: feeling (being absorbed by the
present)
Ethical – Ascetic: thinking (having control over
the present: planning the future)
Leap of Faith: jump into abyss of eternity
Spiritual life: retrieve inspiration: holding the
paradox finite/infinite : continuous past, present,
future : mastering time.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
124. Reality of existence: to be
fully alive, aware as an
individual
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
125. Kierkegaard’s breathing
Personhood is a synthesis of possibility and
necessity.
Its continued existence is like breathing
(respiration),
which is an inhaling and exhaling.
(Kierkegaard, Sickness unto Death: 40)
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
126. Emotions are our
orientation.
Emotions are like the weather: never none.
They are the way we relate to the world.
They define the mood of the moment.
They are our atmosphere and modality.
They tell us where we are.
Learn to tune in rather than tune out.
Use the emotional compass.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
127. John Henry Fuseli’s the nightmare:
Suppression of feelings leads to dysfunction
and despair
loss of freedom: depression is often actually
about oppression or suppression
when we free ourselves: anxiety
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
128. Sartre’s emotional theory
Embodied human existence mobilizes itself towards
or away from that which it desires or dreads.
We can do magic in letting ourselves fall into
emotion, thus transforming the world in bad faith.
Difference between reflective and non reflective
emotions.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
129. Tune into the feelings and moods that
colour our worldview
They create different atmospheres at different times.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
133. Four ways of being with
meaning
• Loss of
meaning
• Aspire to
meaning
• Threat to
meaning
• Gain
meaning
approach fight
flightfreeze
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
143. Rising above your
emotions
Above the clouds the weather is steady even
when it rains below.
Transcending our own situation and emotions
allows us to understand our own response.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
144. Bringing down emotional intensity:
painting the world pale or in pastel
shades
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
145. Potentiality is more than
actuality
From project to action in our own lives.
Plotting a route through the obstacles
Potentiality of past as well as of the present and
future.
Living in time: transcendence and evolution
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
146. Only lived truth and
understanding will give us deep
meanings
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
149. In darkness we
learn about the
depth of life
The discipline of suffering, of
great suffering — do you not
know that only this discipline
has created all
enhancements of man so
far?
(Nietzsche, 1886/1990: 225)
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
150. When it is dark enough, you
can see the stars. Ralph Waldo
Emerson
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
181. How do we become
connected: loved?
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
182. Who can control connections but in
loss: sudden disconnection: meaning
severed.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
183. It feels great to find a place in a
great meaningful pattern
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
184. Understanding
connections
Helping persons to understand their difficulties
aims at exploring as much of the web of their
lives as is possible, focussing not on one
particular line but on the connections between
as many lines as show themselves.
(Hans Cohn, in Existential Perspectives,
2005:226)
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
185. It feels dreadful and painful to
be disconnected
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
186. Art of Living: spirituality
The art of living is about weaving the different
strands of life together into a meaningful whole
that holds us safe.
Strands are constantly added and taken away.
We need to tend carefully to the fabric of our
lives on a daily basis, disconnecting,
reconnecting and integrating all the time.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
187. How to find our way in our
Existential Space
Physical, natural space
Social interpersonal space
Personal, psychological space
Spiritual, ideological space
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
188. Things are dynamic and intertwined
multi-dimensionality in motion:creativity
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
196. What is Love?
• To be intent on knowing, respecting and valuing an other
for what they actually are and can be
• Letting them be and live as fully and freely as possible,
keeping their welfare at heart, as our own, in a dedicated,
attentive and uncompromising way . I-Thou. Cherishing.
Challenging.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
197. Love is not just a feeling
It is an action, an attitude, an intention, a
movement, a way of being
Love is the movement towards the other in the
spirit of care, affection, commitment, loyalty,
generosity, kindness, intimacy, tenderness,
attachment, trust and truth.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
198. Love is a particular kind of
intentionality
The world is not comprehensible, but it is
embraceable: through the embracing of one of
its beings. (Buber)
There is not enough love in the world to
squander it on anything but human beings.
Albert Camus, The Rebel, A. Bower, trans. (1956), p. 18
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
199. Existential Love
Love is an action (Fromm)
Not just a feeling
We need to work at it
It demands commitment, dedication,
devotion, caring, loyalty, understanding,
freedom
Seeing and knowing the other and letting be
I/Thou rather than I/It
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
200. You have to be able to
dare to be true
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
202. Truth
The existential task is to search for truth,
actively, carefully and painstakingly, through the
experience of reflection on the human condition
in general and our own life in particular
It is a search for what is actually the case
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
203. Onto-dynamics
Learning to live in line with the laws of
life
Paradox, conflict, difficulty and
dilemmas are our daily companions
When crisis comes we need to have
the courage to descend to rock bottom
From there we can build something
better
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
204. Potentiality is more than
actuality
From project to action in our own lives.
Plotting a route through the obstacles
Potentiality of past as well as of the present and
future.
Living in time: transcendence and evolution
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
205. Exploring our limits and our
possibilities. Understanding and
getting things in perspective
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
206. Ultimately we are intertwined with the
cosmic order: the implicate order of
the universe (Bohm)
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
207. Existential therapy
To attend to the principle of life
Solomon’s ‘thoughtful love of life’
Vitality at all levels of life
What is our interaction with nature, others, self
and the ultimate?
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
208. New perspectives:
life as an adventure
Learning to be you and living life well
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
216. Evil is what disrupts our
framework of meaning violently
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
217. Clearing our mind
To let life shine through us we need to clear our
minds and our daily existence.
Know when to be open and when to be closed
Processing that which opposes us and muddies
the water and work with each other to make
sense of the non sensical
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
221. Restoring meaning
Physically: safety and a sense of the body’s
harmony and peace in relation to nature
Socially: loving acceptance and appreciation by
a person and a group
Personally: identifying inner strength and
vulnerability with integrity
Spiritually: connecting with truth, the universe
and a sense of purpose
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
224. Spinoza: the universe is governed by
necessary laws which when
respected and understood allow us
freedom: determinism<>contingency
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
225. Making meaning in time
Past meanings
Present meanings
Future meanings
Eternal meanings
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
226. Art of Living: spirituality
The art of living is about weaving the different
strands of life together into a meaningful whole
that holds us safe.
Strands are constantly added and taken away.
We need to tend carefully to the fabric of our
lives on a daily basis, disconnecting,
reconnecting and integrating all the time.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
227. Sisyphus: Life as a futile
uphill struggle
There is but one truly serious philosophical
problem and that is … whether life is or is
not worth living. (Camus: The Myth of Sisyphus)
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
229. Life’s events are grist for
the mill: nurturance
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
230. Heidegger’s Ereignis:
re-owning
Original thanking is the thanks owed for being.
That thanks alone gives rise to thinking of the
kind we know as retribution and reward in the
good and bad sense. (Heidegger 1954:141)
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
231. You have to own your
life: it is your work of art
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
234. Potentiality is more than
actuality
From project to action in our own lives.
Plotting a route through the obstacles
Potentiality of past as well as of the present and
future.
Living in time: transcendence and evolution
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
235. Where are we?
Where is God and what is transcendence?
Morality and ethics
Death and the beyond
Role of religious rituals and the sacred
Integration of metaphysics and science
One dimensional materialism, nihilism
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
236. The quieter you become
the more you are able to hear
Rumi
Re-establish peace, calm and willingness to listen shows up
hidden meaning
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
237. Nihilism: killing God
But how have we done this? How were we able
to drink up the sea? Who gave us the sponge to
wipe away the entire horizon? (Nietzsche 1882:
125)
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
238. Worldview and ideology
Polytheism:
Many Gods
Monotheism:
One God
Marxism:
Society as God
Psychology:
Individual as
God
Atheism: No
God
Science:
Facts are
God
Humanism:
Mankind as
God
Agnosticism:
Don’t know
God
Pantheism: All
is God
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
239. What is your own idea of
transcendence?
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
240. Quantum entanglement
UNI Geneva 1997
Photon split in two , particles separated by 14 miles
Despite distance particles reacted same to external stimuli
Spin one with magnetic force, the other will spin too
Einstein called it ‘spooky action at a distance’
No communication, but part of same energetic field
Matter spread over huge distance but entangled at
quantum level
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
241. New perspectives:
life as an adventure and
discovery
Learning to be you and living life well
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
244. Loving your Life
Loving your fate and destiny in all its
manifestations
(Nietzsche’s Amor Fati)
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
245. How to create value in
life?
Through committed and engaged action
Step by step
Diligently proceeding no matter what challenges
come on your path
Steady progress comes from undaunted focus
on your project
Flexibility and finding joy in the process rather
than aiming for success or happiness
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
247. What is Love: the
creation of meaningful
connection
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
248. How do we become disconnected
to fall into our inner abyss of
isolation?
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
249. Overview of conflicts, challenges and paradoxes on four dimensions
World Umwelt : where? Mitwelt : how? Eigenwelt: who? Uberwelt: why?
Physical:
survival
Nature:
Life/
Death
Things:
Pleasure/
Pain
Body:
Health/
Illness
Cosmos:
Harmony/
Chaos
Social:
affiliation
Society:
Love/
Hate
Others:
Dominance/Sub
mission
Ego:
Acceptance/
Rejection
Culture:
Belonging/
Isolation
Personal:
identity
Person:
Identity/Freedom
Me:
Perfection/
Imperfection
Self:
Integrity/
Disintegration
Consciousness:
Confidence/
Confusion
Spiritual:
meaning
Infinite:
Good/
Evil
Ideas:
Truth/
Untruth
Spirit:
Meaning/
Futility
Conscience:
Right/
Wrong
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
250. Paradoxes of human
existence
Deurzen and Adams
challenge gain loss
Physical Death and
pain
Life to the full Unlived life or
constant fear
Social Loneliness
and
rejection
Understand
and be
understood
Bullying or being
bullied
Personal Weakness
and failure
Strength and
stamina
Narcissism or self
destruction
Spiritual Meaning-
Lessness
and futility
Finding an
ethics to live by
Fanaticism or apathy
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
251. Love is learnt
Nietzsche in Joyful Wisdom:
One must learn to love. This is our
experience in music: we must first learn to
hear, to hear fully and to distinguish a theme
for a melody, we have to isolate and limit it
as a life by itself; then we need to exercise
effort and good will in order to endure it in
spite of its strangeness…
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
252. Love transforms us
When one has once fully entered the realm of love, the world — no matter how
imperfect — becomes rich and beautiful, it consists solely of opportunities for
love.
Kierkegaard, Søren. Works of Love. 1847.
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018
253. “Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in
looking outward together in the same direction.”
@Emmy van Deurzen 2018