PowerPoint presentation discussing some of the edits you're likely to see when working with an editor. Prepared by editor and author Donna Cook for the Idaho Writers Guild and SCBWI Editing Workshop Fixer Upper Session.

2. “The Chocolate Shoe”

3. Two Kinds of Edits
Editorial Guidance
– Characterization or plot problems
– Prompts to add description
Corrections
– Grammar and punctuation errors
– Corrections to sentence structure or dialogue

4. Two Kinds of Edits
Editorial Guidance
– Characterization or plot problems
– Prompts to add description
Corrections
– Grammar and punctuation errors
– Corrections to sentence structure or dialogue

5. I fancy a caramel with Hawaiian sea salt. The tiny shop
offers a refuge from the cold, the golden air a reprieve from the
colorless sky. I am always surprised to see other people here, as if
this place belongs to me alone. I step into the Chocolat Bar in
downtown Boise, checking the street like I always do. I see only
strangers, like I always do. A woman stands talking with the clerk
behind the counter.

6. I fancy a caramel with Hawaiian sea salt. The tiny shop
offers a refuge from the cold, the golden air a reprieve from the
colorless sky. I step into the Chocolat Bar in downtown
Boise, checking the street like I always do. I see only
strangers, like I always do. I am always surprised to see other
people here, as if this place belongs to me alone. A woman stands
talking with the clerk behind the counter.

7. I fancy a caramel with Hawaiian sea salt. The tiny shop
offers a refuge from the cold, the golden air a reprieve from the
colorless sky. I step into the Chocolat Bar in downtown
Boise, checking the street like I always do. I see only
strangers, like I always do. I am always surprised to see other
people here, as if this place belongs to me alone. A woman stands
talking with the clerk behind the counter.

8. I fancy a caramel with Hawaiian sea salt. The tiny shop
offers a refuge from the cold, the golden air a reprieve from the
colorless sky. I step into the Chocolat Bar in downtown
Boise, checking the street like I always do. I see only
strangers, like I always do. I am always surprised to see other
people here, as if this place belongs to me alone. A woman stands
talking with the clerk behind the counter.

9. I fancy a caramel with Hawaiian sea salt. The tiny shop
offers a refuge from the cold, the golden air a reprieve from the
colorless sky. I step into the Chocolat Bar in downtown
Boise, checking the street like I always do. I see only
strangers, like I always do. I am always surprised to see other
people here, as if this place belongs to me alone. A woman stands
talking with the clerk behind the counter.

10. I fancy a caramel with Hawaiian sea salt. I step into the
Chocolat Bar in downtown Boise, checking the street like I
always do. I see only strangers, like I always do. The tiny shop
offers a refuge from the cold, the golden air a reprieve from the
colorless sky. I am always surprised to see other people here, as if
this place belongs to me alone. A woman stands talking with the
clerk behind the counter.

11. I fancy a caramel with Hawaiian sea salt. I step into the
Chocolat Bar in downtown Boise, checking the street like I
always do. I see only strangers, like I always do. The tiny shop
offers a refuge from the cold, the golden air a reprieve from the
colorless sky. A woman stands talking with the clerk behind the
counter. I am always surprised to see other people here, as if this
place belongs to me alone.

12. I fancy a caramel with Hawaiian sea salt. I step into the
Chocolat Bar in downtown Boise, checking the street like I
always do. I see only strangers, like I always do. The tiny shop
offers a refuge from the cold, the golden air a reprieve from the
colorless sky. A woman stands talking with the clerk behind the
counter. I am always surprised to see other people here, as if this
place belongs to me alone.

13. Organization
• Paragraph level
• Scenes/chapters
• Structure of the entire book
– Plot structure
– Pacing
“These scenes are too fast (or too slow).”
“This character’s actions are not believable.”

14. More Guidance…

15. I haven’t been in for a few months, but my
routine is the same. I try some of their samples. I
enjoy their delicious taste.
DETAILS!

16. I haven’t been in for a few months, but my
routine is the same. I wander along the display
case and glance at the sample plate as if I’d
stumbled across it on accident and may as well
try a piece since I’m here. I’m not so bold as to
go straight for it without pretension. I test the
white chocolate Fall bark with bits of pistachios
and cranberries. Delicious.

17. I enjoy their delicious taste.
Boring.
I test the white chocolate Fall bark with bits of
pistachios and cranberries. Delicious.
Why does this work better?

18. At first I feel self-conscious trying all
the different samples. One sample is
unusual, but I’m too shy to ask the clerk
what kind of candy it is.
Show don’t tell. Be specific.

19. I hesitate for a moment before I take another
sample, a dark chocolate shard laced with cinnamon.
Brazenly, I try the last offering, another dark chocolate
sample with a flavor I can’t identify. I’m curious about
it, but not curious enough to interrupt the clerk’s
conversation with her customer. It doesn’t matter. The
customer finishes up while I pretend to ponder
purchasing something I’ve just sampled.

20. Even with an editor,
you are still the writer.
• There are things only you can bring to the
table.
• Your editor will offer guidance.
• Your editor should honor your style and voice.
• Caveat:
– Don’t excuse problems by saying “it’s my style.”
– It only works if it works.

21. Corrections!

22. Slabs of fudge are cut on a thick sheet
of marble by a woman in a white
smock.
A woman in a white smock cuts slabs
of fudge on a thick sheet of marble.

23. Slabs of fudge are cut on a thick sheet
of marble by a woman in a white
smock.
A woman in a white smock cuts slabs
of fudge on a thick sheet of marble.

24. I stroll to the last display case, zeroing in on my
predetermined purchase. There they are:
chocolate-covered soft caramels sprinkled with
pink Hawaiian sea salt. I order a square and my
piece is wrapped in parchment paper.

25. I stroll to the last display case, zeroing in on my
predetermined purchase. There they are:
chocolate-covered soft caramels sprinkled with
pink Hawaiian sea salt. I order a square and my
piece is wrapped in parchment paper.
I order a square of caramel and see a gloved
hand wrap my piece in parchment paper.

26. NOT GOOD:
The audience is bored by the presentation.
BETTER:
The presentation bores the audience.
EVEN BETTER?
Details! You try!

27. I glance from my screen to the audience.
An old woman stares through the window at the
bare parking lot. A man in a tan polo shirt is
preoccupied with his smart phone. Ditto for the
woman in a fluffy pink sweater. Her artificial
nails assault the screen: tap, tap, tap.
The few faces pointed in my direction wear
the distant expressions of those whose thoughts
lie elsewhere.

28. Minor Corrections

29. Don’t Panic

33. are they

34. are they

35. are they

36. are they

37. are they

38. are they

39. are they

40. are they

41. Now that you’ve survived the editing process…

43. Aaaaand… Now its you’re turn!
I mean, “Now it’s your turn.”