Chapter 12 Marriage

AAnn IInnttrroodduuccttiioonn ttoo SSoocciioollooggyy
TThhiirrdd EEddiittiioonn
KKeerrrryy FFeerrrriiss aanndd JJiillll SStteeiinn
CChhaapptteerr 1122::
MMaarrrriiaaggee && FFaammiillyy

WWhhaatt iiss tthhee FFaammiillyy??
• The U.S. Census Bureau defines family as two or
more individuals related by blood, marriage, or
adoption living in the same household.
– This definition is too limited to encompass the variety of
families that exist in the US today.
• According to sociologists, family is defined as a social
group whose members are bound by legal, biological,
economic, or emotional ties, or a combination of all
four.
– A sense of interdependence and belonging is particularly
important. The Copyright © 2008 W.W. Norton 2

WWhhaatt iiss tthhee FFaammiillyy?? ((ccoonntt’’dd))
• They may or may not share a household, but
its members are interdependent and have a
sense of mutual responsibility for one
another’s care.
• This more open-ended definition takes into
account the diversity among today’s families.
– ABC’s Modern Family
The Copyright © 2008 W.W. Norton 3

• Family as an institution has always changed in
response to its social, cultural, political, and
economic issues.
• Before the industrial revolution, “family” tended
to mean extended family or kin:
– An extended family is a large group of relatives,
usually including at least three generations living
either in one household or in close proximity.
– Kin is defined as relatives or relations, usually those
related by common descent.
4

• After the industrial revolution, this
configuration changed to focus on the nuclear
family:
– A nuclear family is a heterosexual couple with one
or more children living in a single household.
• Many countries around the world still focus on
extended family. However, because US
society is so spread out, the nuclear family has
become our primary focus.

• Why has the family changed in America?
– Many functions formerly associated with the family
have been transferred to other institutions.
– Examples: work and production moved from the
family to the factory, education to the school, and
social welfare and medical functions to government
and the healthcare industry.
– Subsequent waves of social change – women’s
liberation and the push toward individual
independence and self fulfillment have begun to
erode the dominance of the family.

DDiivveerrssiittyy iinn FFaammiilliieess
• These changes have led to an increase in
divorce rates, working mothers, single
parents, gay and lesbian families, and other
alternative family arrangements.
• Even though a two-parent household with a
stay-at-home mother is no longer the norm,
this type of family remains the model by
which new forms of the family are judged.
• The presence of children is important for
many.

Household CCoommppoossiittiioonn::
11997700 aanndd 22000000
1970 2000
Married couples with
children 40.3% 24.1%
Married couples without
children 30.3% 28.7%
Persons living Alone 17.1% 25.5%
Other family Households 10.6% 16%
Other nonfamily households 1.7% 5.7%

• Artistic representations of the traditional
family generally show a mother, father, and
their children all usually the same race. This
is known as:
– Endogamy refers to marriage to someone
within one’s social group (race, ethnicity, class,
education, religion, region, or nationality).
• Exogamy refers to marriage to someone
from a different social group

DDiivveerrssiittyy iinn FFaammiilliieess ((ccoonntt’’dd))
• The idea of exogamy in some forms, particularly race,
has not always been approved of:
– From the time of slavery through the 1960s, many
states had anti-miscegenation laws (the prohibition
of inter-racial marriage, cohabitation, or sexual
interaction).
– This will change in 1967 when the Supreme Court
will declare Virginia’s anti-interracial marriage law
unconstitutional based on the 14th amendment.

• Since the 1960s, interracial marriage in the US
has been increasing:
– 1960 – only 0.4% of all couples were interracial
– 1992 – this increased to 2.2%
– 2000 – this was at 5.7%
• Research shows that much of America still has
a negative attitude about interracial couples.

• The only type of relationship that is socially accepted in
US culture is:
– Monogamy, the practice of marrying (or being in a
relationship with) one person at a time, is still
considered the only legal form of marriage in
modern western culture.
• However, monogamy is not the only type of
relationship:
• Polygamy, a system of marriage that allows people to
have more than one spouse at a time, is practiced
among some subcultures around the world, but is not
widely acknowledged as a legitimate form of marriage.

• The two types of polygamy are:
– The more common form of polygamy is polygyny, which
a system of marriage that allows men to have multiple
wives.
– Polyandry, a system of marriage that allows women to
have multiple husbands, is a more rare form of
polygamy.
• However, this is not quite the same as polygany. Women are
usually subjected in polyandry because this tends to exist in
cultures where there are more men than women. As a result,
multiple men will share the same wife.

SSoocciioollooggiiccaall PPeerrssppeeccttiivveess oonn
tthhee FFaammiillyy -- FFuunnccttiioonnaalliissmm
• Structural Functionalism views the family as
one of the basic institutions that keeps society
running smoothly by providing functions such
as producing and socializing children,
economic production, instrumental and
emotional support, and sexual control.

tthhee FFaammiillyy –– FFuunnccttiioonnaalliissmm
• Durkheim – In his study on suicide, he found that marriage
and family, at least for men, decreased their chances of
suicide because these provide the structure and regulation
that Durkhiem believed people require to be happy and avoid
anomie.
• Parsons – argued that the “modern nuclear family was
especially complementary to the requirements of an industrial
economy” because it freed individuals from onerous
obligations to extended family members and made possible
the geographic and social mobility demanded by the modern
economy.
• In the most basic sense, the family is responsible for the
reproduction of society as it produces and socializes children,
passes values and norms from one generation to the next, and
creates emotional support. This helps society run smoothly.

tthhee FFaammiillyy –– CCoonnfflliicctt TThheeoorryy
• Conflict theorists believe that society revolves around conflict over scarce
resources, and that conflict within the family is also about the competition
for resources: time, energy, and the leisure to pursue recreational
activities.
• The family can also allow exploitation through a sexual rather than a class-based
division of labor. Family is a gendered institution where men and
women experience it differently. Women usually have less power in the
household and their contributions to the family are devalued.
• Conflict theorists also look at domestic violence. They believe that
domestic violence occurs because of an unequal access to resources
within the family structure.

SSoocciioollooggiiccaall PPeerrssppeeccttiivveess
oonn tthhee FFaammiillyy –– SSyymmbboolliicc
IInntteerraaccttiioonnaalliissmm
• Symbolic Interactionists examine the types of social dynamics
and interactions that create and sustain families, emphasizing
the ways that our experiences of family bonds are socially
created rather than naturally existing.
– In other words, family is different for each of us…not every family has
the same norms, values, and level of interaction.
• Symbolic interactionists also focus on the roles and statuses
within the family structure. What are the expectations of
roles like “mother,” “father,” “brother,” or “daughter.”

FFoorrmmiinngg RReellaattiioonnsshhiippss,,
SSeelleeccttiinngg MMaatteess
• The process of selecting mates is largely
determined by society and two concepts
(homogamy and propinquity) tell us a lot about
how this process works.
– Homogamy means “like marries like,” and is
demonstrated by the fact that we tend to choose
mates who are similar to use in class, race, ethnicity,
age, religion, education, and even levels of
attractiveness.
– Propinquity is the tendency to marry or have
relationships with people in close geographic
proximity.

• New Directions in Dating:
– The internet has made courtship and romance
possible across much greater geographical areas,
as we can now meet and converse with people in
all parts of the world. This essentially intensifies
homogamy because the internet tends to bring
together people with specific interests and
identities. For every 1 in 5 marriages, the
individuals met on the internet.

– The “hook-up” (pg. 362) – Some sociologists have argued that formal
dating is not as necessary as it once was. It is much easier for men
and women to socialize than it once was, so the idea of a “date” isn’t
necessarily the same. Also, rules guiding the social lives of college
students is a thing of the past.
• The “hook-up” is a new style of temporary relationship associated
with college culture where two individuals come together for a
short period of time and usually engage in some sort of physical
contact. The term itself is ambiguous as the contact can range
from kissing to sexual intercourse.
• Kennedy (2001) did a study that included 62 female college
students on 11 college campuses supplemented by 20 minute
interviews of 1,000 female college students nationwide.

– “Hooking-up” Continued…
» Ultimately, hooking-up has changed the order of relationship for many
young men and women….sex first and then they discuss
relationships/dating later.
» Basically, this new form of relationship is appealing for a number of
reasons: it is a way to avoid hurt or rejection, students find the time
and activity restraints of a relationship stressful, because hook-ups are
rather ambiguous women are able to neutralize the stigma of casual
encounters, and men are able to imply that more actually occurred.
» Another reason hooking-up has increased is because religious
boundaries are not as strict in society toward sex before marriage as it
once was (this is also cause for the increase in cohabitation and
pregnancy before marriage)
» On a problematic note, hooking-up has led to an increase in the
prevalence of sexually transmitted disease on college campuses. Also,
there is an increase in pregnancy before marriage.

DDooiinngg tthhee WWoorrkk ooff FFaammiillyy
• Many types of work (both paid and unpaid) are
necessary to keep a family operating. These tasks can
be either instrumental or expressive.
• Instrumental tasks refer to the practical physical
tasks necessary to maintain family life (washing
dishes and cutting grass).
• Expressive tasks refer to the emotional work
necessary to support family members (remembering
a relative’s birthday or playing with the kids).

((ccoonntt’’dd))
• Men and women have always performed
different roles to ensure the survival of their
families, but these roles were not considered
unequal until after the Industrial Revolution.

• Arlie Hochschild’s 1989 study of working
couples and parents found that women were
indeed working two jobs: paid labor outside
the home and unpaid labor inside the home.
• Hochschild referred to this situation as the
second shift (unpaid labor inside the home
that is often expected of women after they
get home from working at paid labor outside
the home).

FFaammiillyy aanndd tthhee LLiiffee CCoouurrssee
• Children
– Children’s experiences are shaped by family size, birth
order, presence or absence of parents, socioeconomic
status, and other sociological variables.
– Conley (2004) – argues that family proves not to be the
consistent influence many people view it to be.
Basically, the inequality between siblings and things
outside the family’s control such as the economy, war,
illness, death, and marital discord create effects that
impact each child at different stages in his or her life,
resulting in different experiences for each child.

• Marriage and Children
– The presence of children affects the lives of parents.
– For example, marital satisfaction tends to decline where
there are small children in the house, and a couple’s
gendered division of labor tends to become more
traditional when children are born.
– “The Sandwich Generation” – many times, adult children
will have to care for their aging parents in addition to their
own children. This is becoming an increasing issue as
women are waiting later to have their children and people
overall are living longer.

• Aging in the Family
– The American population is aging because of the
baby boom generation (the large number of
Americans born in the post World War II era).
– This is because current life expectancy in the
United States is seventy-seven years (with women
living an average of five years longer than men).
New technologies in medicine and overall
healthier lifestyles are the main causes for this.

• Aging and the Family
– Planning for an aging population has implications for an entire
society. Retirement income is particularly important. Social
Security benefits provide much of this income. (80% of elderly
Americans are on Social Security and it is the only income for
54% of that group.) This could lead to elderly with limited
resources.
– Currently about 10 percent of the elderly live below the poverty
line.
– Also, the care of the elderly is no longer a primary function of
family: over 40 percent of senior citizens will spend time in a
nursing home.
– Finally, coping with the transitions of retirement, widowhood,
declining health, and death are central tasks for seniors.

TTrroouubbllee iinn FFaammiilliieess
• “People are more likely to be killed, physically assaulted,
sexually victimized…in their own homes by other family
members than anywhere else or by anyone else, in our
society.”(Gelles, 1995)
• Domestic violence is any physical, verbal, financial, sexual, or
psychological behaviors abusers use to gain and maintain
power over their victims in the home or with family members.
This is the most common form of family violence.
• 1 out of every 3 women suffers physical violence at the hands
of an intimate partner at some point in her adult life.
• In addition, millions of women suffer verbal, financial, and
psychological abuse from those who are supposed to love
them.

TTrroouubbllee iinn FFaammiilliieess ((ccoonntt’’dd))
• Rates of domestic violence are about equal across
racial and ethnic groups, sexual orientations, and
religious groups.
• However, women between the ages of 19 and 29
are more likely to experience domestic violence
than any other age group.
• Poor women are also more likely to be abused than
women with higher incomes.
• Women are five to eight more times likely than
men to be victimized by an intimate partner.

• Contrary to popular opinion, most abusive partners are not
“out of control,” nor do they have “anger management”
problems. In fact, most seem quite “normal” in public. They
deliberately decide to be violent with those least likely to
report the crime and over whom they maintain the most
control: family members.

• A four-stage cycle of violence seems to occur in
almost every abuse relationship:
– Stage 1: The abuse partner is charming, attentive,
and thoughtful; disagreements are glossed over
and the relationship looks stable and healthy.
– Stage 2: Tension is building and this stage is often
described as “walking on eggshells.” Both parties
sense something will happen no matter what the
victim may do to avoid it.

– Stage 3: Acute battering and violence occurs, lasting
for seconds, hours, or even days. No matter what
happens, the abuser will blame the victim for the
incident.
– Stage 4: This is the “loving contrition” or
“honeymoon” stage. This is also the reason why
victims remain in the abuse relationship. The abuser
will apologize profusely and promise that it will
never happen again. They may bring gifts or even
talk about getting help.
• Most abusers, however, have no interest in changing
because they don’t want to give up control OR don’t
really believe they have a problem.

• Many victims believe that they can’t make it on their
own and even responsible for the abuse.
• Many victims may not have employment skills because
they haven’t been able to attend school or work.
• Often times, children are involved or other family
members are threatened.
• Many victims have been isolated from family and friends
and are afraid to speak to anyone about the abuse and,
as a result, see no options but to remain where they are.

• Children and the elderly also suffer at the hands
of abusive family members.
• Child and elder abuse are likely to be
underreported, due in part to the relative
powerlessness of the victims and the private
settings of the abuse.
• Estimates believe that 47 of every 1,000
children in the US are abused in some way.
• About 5% of all seniors in this country have
been subject to elder abuse in some form.

• In addition to violence and verbal, emotional,
and sexual abuse, children may experience a
type of abuse known as neglect (a form of
child abuse in which the caregiver fails to
provide adequate nutrition, sufficient clothing
or shelter, or hygienic and safe living
conditions).

• Another form of child abuse is incest (proscribed sexual
contact between family members; a form of child abuse when
it occurs between a child and a caregiver). This can have
devastating lifelong consequences.
• Elder abuse can include violence and abuse, as well as
financial exploitation, theft, neglect, and abandonment.
• Sometimes elder abuse can occur when a primary caregiver is
frustrated. This is especially problematic for Alzheimer’s
patients.

DDiivvoorrccee aanndd BBrreeaakkuuppss
• As of March 2002, the U.S. Census reported that
more than 123 million persons were married while
about 21 million were divorced.
• Research indicates that about 50 percent of all first
marriages now end in divorce and most who divorce
remarry. (75% of men will remarry compared to 67%
for women)

DDiivvoorrccee aanndd BBrreeaakkuuppss ((ccoonntt’’dd))
• Remarriage rates in the US are actually lower
now than they were before the 1960s, a fact
attributable to cohabitation.
• Cohabitation is living together as a romantically
involved, unmarried couple.
• About 5 percent of all households are occupied
by couples who are cohabitating.
• This may reflect a certain caution about marriage
as a result of rising rates of divorce.

• The decline of intergenerational divorce and
marriage rates probably has three sources:
– Growing acceptance of divorce. The social stigma
just isn’t the same as it was 40-50 years ago.
– The age of marriage has changed. On average,
people are waiting to get marred.
– Cohabitation has increased.

• Custody is the physical and legal responsibility
or caring for children and is assigned by a
court for divorced or unmarried parents.
• While mothers still disproportionately receive
custody, there is a trend toward joint custody.
• Women are more likely to suffer downward
economic mobility after divorce, especially if
they retain custody of their children.

TTrreennddss iinn AAmmeerriiccaann FFaammiilliieess
• The textbook identifies four trends that are taking place in American
families:
• The first is an increase in the number of people who are single.
– Married couples were the dominant household model through the
1950s, but their numbers have slipped from nearly 80 percent to
just above 50 percent now. Currently, 30 percent of all households
are made up of people who live alone.
– Single include the following: people seeking a partner for a
relationship, gays and lesbians, people living alone in long-distance
relationships, people living in communes, widows/widowers,
minors in group homes, and some clergy members.
– Its more accepted for people (especially women) to live alone than
ever before.

• The second trend is an increase in the number of people who
are cohabitating
– More than 11 million people living with an unmarried
partner, including both same-sex and different-sex
couples.
– Marriage is no longer a prerequisite for childbearing (1/3
of all first births are to unwed parents)
– Most couples that choose to cohabit are 25 – 34 y/o
– Growing economic independence of individuals today,
resulting in less financial motivation for marriage.
– Finally, changing attitudes about religion have made sex
outside of marriage more socially acceptable.

• Cohabitating Cont’d
– Some sociologists believe that another reason for the
increase in cohabitation is that the “functions” of marriage
have changed so much that there is actually very little
need for marriage beyond tradition.
– In earlier years, women were almost required to get
married if they wanted to move away from their parents.
– There was a great deal of social pressure for marriage,
especially if you wanted a sexual relationship.

• The third trend is an increase in the number of single parents.
– Currently, one-third of all first births are to unmarried partners.
– Some actually choose to raise a child without the support of a partner
– adoption, artificial insemination, and surrogacy are increasing.
– Only 10% of single parents are single fathers.
– Edin and Kefalas (2005) – dispelled the myth that low-income single
mothers have children to cash in welfare benefits. Instead, they
found that for these young women, having a baby is a symbol of
belonging and being valued. Being a good mother is an acceptable
role that can generate respect and admiration in the community.

• The fourth trend is related to the increasing
number of people who are living in
intentional communities (any of a variety of
groups who form communal living
arrangements outside marriage).

Chapter 12 Marriage

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Chapter 12 Marriage