COMMENTS: You wrote an interesting essay; however, it is lacking the introduction and conclusion paragraphs (1/3 deduction.) Remove the notations from the Reference List. Not all of your sources came from the UOP library and are peer reviewed, so you need to locate additional. You need a minimum of three peer reviewed sources from the UOP library. Prove your arguments using academic sources. Some paragraphs are too short, every paragraph should be five to eight sentences. You received a five point deduction for not including the introduction or conclusion. SCORE: 10/15 Points (Deduction for not including an introduction or conclusion.) The Inappropriateness of the Death Sentence Add an introduction paragraph. Comment by Darlene Bennett: The introduction needs a topic sentence that describes the main idea of the paragraph, then provide background information and finally, include the thesis statement. The introduction should be five to eight sentences in length. Thesis Statement Comment by Darlene Bennett: The thesis statement cannot be isolated by itself. You need to insert it as the last sentence of the introductory paragraph. The death penalty, as practiced in some societies in the world, has had its positive aspects and negative aspects and my stand are that it should be abolished in any democratic state that seeks to ensure justice for both the victims of crime and the offenders. The death sentence is against the bible and other religious guidelines Comment by Darlene Bennett: Capitalize the word “Bible.” Death sentences against convicted criminals in the society go against the spirit and guidelines provided by religious faiths regarding our stay here in the universe. Comment by Darlene Bennett: Casual tone, stay formal and do not use first person pronouns. Religious laws quoted in religious books prohibited the execution of man whatsoever. According to these religious laws, there is no compromise or a reason big enough to necessitate the punishment of an offender through death. The ten commandments developed by God himself in the book of Deuteronomy, under commandment five, prohibits the killing of a man. Universal religious laws concur with the Christian teaching regarding the execution of man as a way of punishment (Goldman, 2017). Comment by Darlene Bennett: This is a generalization – do all religious books state this? By Old Testament law, people were stoned for certain infractions. Be specific and provide a source for your fact. Comment by Darlene Bennett: Religious teachings in all religion term human life as sacred and one that is not subject to limitation, in all circumstance. According to the various religions, it is God only who can terminate the life of a human being. They recommend the use of other means of justice for offenders to reform and revert back to their normal lives in the society (Goldman, 2017). Further, no method of executing criminals is humane, all the methods are painful, inhumane and disrespectful.

1. COMMENTS: You wrote an interesting essay; however, it is
lacking the introduction and conclusion paragraphs (1/3
deduction.) Remove the notations from the Reference List. Not
all of your sources came from the UOP library and are peer
reviewed, so you need to locate additional. You need a
minimum of three peer reviewed sources from the UOP library.
Prove your arguments using academic sources. Some paragraphs
are too short, every paragraph should be five to eight sentences.
You received a five point deduction for not including the
introduction or conclusion.
SCORE: 10/15 Points (Deduction for not including an
introduction or conclusion.)
The Inappropriateness of the Death Sentence
Add an introduction paragraph. Comment by Darlene
Bennett: The introduction needs a topic sentence that describes
the main idea of the paragraph, then provide background
information and finally, include the thesis statement. The
introduction should be five to eight sentences in length.
Thesis Statement Comment by Darlene Bennett: The thesis
statement cannot be isolated by itself. You need to insert it as
the last sentence of the introductory paragraph.
The death penalty, as practiced in some societies in the world,
has had its positive aspects and negative aspects and my stand
are that it should be abolished in any democratic state that seeks
to ensure justice for both the victims of crime and the offenders.
The death sentence is against the bible and other religious
guidelinesComment by Darlene Bennett: Capitalize the word
“Bible.”
Death sentences against convicted criminals in the society go
against the spirit and guidelines provided by religious faiths
regarding our stay here in the universe. Comment by Darlene
Bennett: Casual tone, stay formal and do not use first person
pronouns.

2. Religious laws quoted in religious books prohibited the
execution of man whatsoever. According to these religious laws,
there is no compromise or a reason big enough to necessitate the
punishment of an offender through death. The ten
commandments developed by God himself in the book of
Deuteronomy, under commandment five, prohibits the killing of
a man. Universal religious laws concur with the Christian
teaching regarding the execution of man as a way of punishment
(Goldman, 2017). Comment by Darlene Bennett: This is a
generalization – do all religious books state this? By Old
Testament law, people were stoned for certain infractions. Be
specific and provide a source for your fact. Comment by
Darlene Bennett:
Religious teachings in all religion term human life as sacred and
one that is not subject to limitation, in all circumstance.
According to the various religions, it is God only who can
terminate the life of a human being. They recommend the use of
other means of justice for offenders to reform and revert back to
their normal lives in the society (Goldman, 2017).
Further, no method of executing criminals is humane, all the
methods are painful, inhumane and disrespectful of the human
dignity. Methods used include shooting offenders, poisoning,
electrocution and hanging which are all torturous and therefore
inappropriate in a society that respects human dignity and rights
(Goldman, 2017).
Death Sentence Does Not Deter Similar Criminal Acts in The
Society
Death sentence to criminals fails in the basic goal of court
sentences, that of deterring criminal activities in the society by
discouraging prospective offenders from engaging in crime.
Comment by Darlene Bennett: Every paragraph needs to
have at least three and preferably five sentences.
Although advocates of the death sentence claim that the
punishment discourages criminals in engaging in further

3. criminal acts, empirical studies have suggested otherwise; the
punishment brutalizes the minds of people in the society further
promoting violent traits among the people an aspect that breeds
crime. In fact, a study done in countries that embrace the
punishment in its judicial systems reveals that the countries
have even more cases of serious crimes such as homicides
(Mathias, 2013).
The punishment portrays the state as a participant in the painful
process that robs people of their basic rights which future
generations will copy as they grow up. The young generations
watch the existing system to formulate their future thinking and
they take with them even the negative aspects (Mathias, 2013).
As a result, societies that have adopted this kind of punishment
in their judicial system bring up a generation that does not
respect the sanctity of man's life and his inalienable rights
(Mathias, 2013).
Punishment by death may lead to innocent citizens being killed
Judicial systems, like all other public service systems, is prone
to errors, mistakes which could lead to the death of innocent
suspects, a mistake that is irreversible. Comment by Darlene
Bennett: This paragraph needs at least three, and preferably
five sentences.
Most of those convicted of serious crimes that have been argued
to warrant the death sentence are those from lower social
economic status; they do not have the ability to hire competent
attorneys. Their defense is therefore weak leading to unfair
convictions. Majority of the world judicial system is heavily
dependent on a defendant’s defenses in making court rulings
(Sarat et al., 2017). As a result, they err whenever the suspects
do not have a competent defense leading to the termination of
their lives. [Add a transition to the next idea here.] Comment by
Darlene Bennett: Provide the source for this fact.
Failure to gather sufficient evidence in the prosecution of cases
have resulted in innocent people losing their lives. A study
conducted in societies that embrace punishment of offenders
through the death sentence have revealed that some criminals

4. have been killed with evidence emerging later of their
innocence. In such cases, the criminals cannot be released or
compensated by the states owing to the permanent nature of
death (Sarat et al., 2017).
Punishment of criminals through the death sentence has been
used by some authorities and governments as a tool to suppress
those that do not agree with the systems. For instance, it was
noted that in some Middle East countries, political despots have
exploited the provision of death sentences in their judicial
systems to execute political decedents in those regimes (Sarat et
al., 2017). This has unfairly denied many activists and liberal-
minded citizens of their right to life.
Add a conclusion paragraph.
References
Goldman, E. (2017). Anarchism: What it really stands for. In
Anarchism as Political Philosophy (pp. 34-49). Routledge.
Comment by Darlene Bennett: You need three peer-
reviewed sources for this essay.
This article sheds light on the moral implications of the death
sentence as a form of punishment for criminals in a judicial
system. The author bases his argument on religious values in
evaluating the appropriateness of the punishment.
Mathias, M. D. (2013). The sacralization of the individual:
Human rights and the abolition of the death penalty. American
journal of sociology, 118(5), 1246-1283.
This research takes the sociological aspects of justice achieved

5. through the various forms of punishment. The author provides
insights into the negative effects of the death sentence on the
individual and the society at large.
Sarat, A., Kermes, R., Cambra, H., Curran, A., Kiley, M., &
Pant, K. (2017). The Rhetoric of Abolition: Continuity and
Change in the Struggle Against America's Death Penalty, 1900-
2010. Journal of Criminal Law & Criminology, 107(4), 757-780.
This study provides this paper with aspects of death sentences
and their implications for societal justice in the united states of
America. The research sheds light on the failures of this form of
punishment especially with regards to mistakes that have led to
the death of innocent citizens.