1. LAST WORD
From the Netherlands to Villanova by Michael Gaynor
Without a Student Visa
T
hey say that imitation is the tribute and Holland has tulips. Holland even has would say, there was ever a nuclear war,
that mediocrity pays to genius. Over Rembrandts. there would be three things remaining—
the years I have unsuccessfully tried cockroaches, Cher and me at Villanova!
to find the contact coordinates for Emily But everyone you know is busy coming and
Perl Kinglsey in order to share her brilliantly going from Italy… and they’re all bragging Villanova is a curious place where one can
penned allegory that follows. If necessary, about what a wonderful time they had there. strike a certain sense of harmony by going
hopefully asking for forgiveness will be sim- For the rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, “back to work” even when you are not on
pler than the permission I sought. that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s the books. When Christian was younger it
what I had planned.” was the Easter egg hunts and for Anna it
I am often asked to describe the experi- was the concert tickets for her and friends
ence of raising a child with a disability—to And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, that made me a cool father for at least an
try to help people who have not shared that ever go away… because the loss of that evening. For Nick, it has and always will be
unique experience to understand it, to imag- dream is a very very significant loss. all about our women’s basketball program.
ine how it would feel. It’s like this… I am convinced that he and our compas-
But…if you spend your life mourning the sionate and impassioned head coach, Harry
When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may Perretta, are twin brothers from different
planning a fabulous vacation trip—to Italy. never be free to enjoy the very special, the mothers. Harry’s heart is bigger than our
You buy a bunch of guide books and make very lovely things about Holland. 250-plus acre campus on the Main Line.
your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Nick refers to our women’s team as fam-
Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Ven- The aforementioned compelling journey ily and my employer as his second home
ice. You may learn some handy phrases in paints a vivid image of my family. My wife (named after our Spanish patron, Saint
Italian. It’s all very exciting. and I have been blessed with 20-year-old, Thomas of “Villanova”, translating into
twin sons, Nicholas and Christian, and “new home”). For me it is a linear place
After months of eager anticipation, the an Irish triplet daughter, Anna, who is 16 where our President, Father Peter Donohue,
day finally arrives. You pack your bags and months younger. For many years we went is ever mindful that “mission” is embedded
off you go. Several hours later, the plane to the zone defense as the “man to man” in the word admission and where my voca-
lands. The stewardess comes in and says, simply wouldn’t do. tion has become an avocation.
“Welcome to Holland.”
Our sons arrived in this world three months While attending an anniversary party, I
“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean prematurely—their lowest “fighting” stepped away from Nick, who was holding
Holland? ? I signed up for Italy! I’m sup-
? weights just below and above the two- court, to get him a hotdog. Suddenly I heard
posed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed pound mark, with an extremely low chance folks laughing and I asked what happened.
of going to Italy!” of survival. Someone had inquired about where Nicholas
attended school and what grade he was
But there’s been a change in the flight plan. After 12 weeks in Pennsylvania Hospital’s in. Being the consummate offspring of an
They’ve landed in Holland and there you Intensive Care (and that is precisely what they admission officer, Nick replied. “I am a
must stay. received) Nursery, those courageous little rising senior at Great Valley High School.”
peanuts came home with heart monitors and Then came the next logical question, “And
The important thing is that they haven’t tak- a long menu of medications, while Christian what are your plans upon graduation? Nick
en you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, remained on oxygen. They went on to endure replied, “I am going to Villanova to major in
full of pestilence, famine and disease. numerous surgeries and countless hours of interdisciplinary studies and minor in women’s
It’s just a different place. therapies (physical, occupational, speech, basketball.” When his audience questioned,
and even horseback riding). Seemingly “How can you be so sure,” without missing a
So you must go out and buy new guide within a blink of an eye, they are now our beat, Nick responded, “My Dad is the director
books. And you must learn a whole new lan- brave “boys to men,” disabled with cerebral of admission.” Game on. Game over!
guage. And you will meet a whole new group palsy and in wheelchairs.
of people you would have never met. Giving “Early Action” an entirely new
***** meaning, Nick’s senior year high school
It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced Now in my 30th year, I have been most graduation present was a winter Big East
than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after fortunate to be a member of the Villanova road trip with our women’s team to Notre
you’ve been there for a while and you catch University community, all in the Office of Dame. The Irish’s Hall of Fame coach,
your breath, you look around… and you be- University Admission. To add literary license Muffet McGraw, kindly greeted us—she
gin to notice that Holland has windmills… to an old joke: If “God forbid” as my mother played basketball on Hawk Hill while I was
WWW.NACACNE T.ORG FALL 2011 JOURNAL OF COLLEGE ADMISSION | 31

2. LAST WORD
a student athlete there. Muffet gave me the Who would have thought that Nick and many tremendous counselors, including a
RCA Victor tilted head stare when learn- another “out of status” Netherlander, few others with Flemish passports (one
ing that I was now at the cross-town “Holy Frankie, would transform so many hearts completely visually impaired and another
War” rival. I explained that I was educated and minds, and ignite change with an ESPN with cerebral palsy and in a chair).
in high school by the same Augustinians feature that premiered on College Game
at Villanova before my years with the Jesu- Day Live in Villanova’s spirited Pavilion (the Christian, who is extremely involved
its. We then boarded the team bus to West dynamic duo even got to hang out with Erin with multiple disabilities, including be-
Virginia. Of course Nick told his guidance Andrews). My kidneys and tear ducts, usually ing mentally challenged and non-verbal,
counselor that he was “visiting colleges,” a centimeter apart, collided when students speaks volumes with his eyes and is
which was somewhat true. spontaneously chanted “Nick and Frankie! easily recognized in our home as the es-
Nick and Frankie!” after Tom Rinaldi’s teemed Dutch poet laureate. He is in a
***** piece. That evening, while getting him ready good place—where he commutes daily
Three summers ago, while running late and to hit the rack, Nick said, “Dad, I think this to school for his metaphoric lectures and
flying out of the office to pick up Nick at our can lead to something really big.” I resisted readings at least until he turns 21, and
girls’ basketball camp, I ran into a family in saying so, but thought, “Bud, you just made then we will jump off that bridge into a
our waiting room: a mom, dad and son who Erin Andrew’s tweet!” What did I know, canal when we get there.
was in a wheelchair and used a communica- as the NY Times’ Greg Bishop, like Tom,
tion board. I knelt down, introduced myself subsequently shared their story with such Do the cobbler’s children really have the
and let them know that I had twin sons in compassion, dignity and grace. Our students worst shoes? I prayed for something from
chairs. His name was Frankie and he was have now started a new organization, known Payless on the Tuition Exchange list rather
from Manasquan (NJ). as LeVel, to even the playing field in terms than Prada U. We occasionally travel
of the way “ability” is perceived, while Nick back and forth from Holland to Milan, as
I told them that my wife and I had our nup- and Frankie just spoke at orientation to our Contessa Anna just finished her exhausting
tials in nearby Asbury Park (for the record, incoming first-year students. I was once higher-ed shopping spree, joining Frankie’s
I married up to a Jersey girl). We then re- known as Michael from admission, but now sister, Annie, in our Class of 2015.
alized that his parents had their wedding only as Nick’s dad or a friend of Frankie and
reception during the same summer and at his family—and this Jerry Maguire wouldn’t Nicholas couldn’t wait to go back to Villano-
the same hotel on the Irish Riviera (Spring have it any other way. va this fall. He must be on a career path to
Lake, NJ). When I returned home and told becoming a high-level Dutch diplomat, as a
my wife about this wonderful family—she ***** recent email read, “Dad, you are the James
recalled that this was the same young man Nicholas began his studies at Villanova Brown of parenting—the hardest working
featured in an article her mother had sent this past academic year and is taking a father I know. Your loving son, Nicholas
Nicholas from the Asbury Park Press years reduced course load. Both he and Frankie Salvatore.” As my own father would say,
before. Subsequently then Notre Dame made the Dean’s List. Yes, he is managing “Where’s my wallet?” That deserves a few
football coach, Charlie Weis, called about our women’s hoop dreams (as Frankie does Euros for giving me a memory smile I’ll
Frankie, followed by our men’s basketball for the men’s program). Our Lady Cats keep whenever I am having “a day”. No dis-
coach, Jay Wright. Everyone (and their high-five Nick when they come off the respect, but a grin I don’t think I would have
mothers) were contacting us about this court during games. They acknowledge his ever received from an Italian applicant.
young man. As my friend Jimmy Murray, loyalty, inspiration and insightful scouting
former GM of the Eagles and co-founder reports at their after season banquets. Nick and I did have an Italian moment
of the Ronald McDonald House would say, They recently took him out for a birthday once, perhaps because of his middle
“Nothing in life is a coincidence.” dinner where we had to tether down his name. We were watching Pinocchio when
chair which was floating on air, gave him he was little. Nick asked, “Dad, am I ever
In his 25th hour of the day, Steve a card that was mantle-piece-worthy and going to be a real boy one day?” when the
McWilliams, who oversees our Disabili- keep in touch regularly through Facebook. marionette was transforming into a human
ties Office and our International Students They hang out with him during our summer being. This teary-eyed Gepetto replied,
Office, created a social justice film mak- girls’ camps where he has worked alongside “You already are.”
ing class at Villanova, and suggested to
his students that they consider making a
documentary about Nick as a high school MIChAel GAyNoR is a graduate of Saint Joseph’s
senior and Frankie as a Villanova fresh- University in Philadelphia (PA).
man, Coming Off the DL. The movie has Michael received his Master of Science in
gone somewhat viral, garnering film festi- Counseling and Human Relations from Villanova
val recognition in Australia, Los Angeles, University (PA) where he serves as director of
Chicago, Delaware, and the Garden State. university admission. He has volunteered as
The showing for a community of adults a mentor through Philadelphia Futures and
with developmental disabilities was the volunteers with Villanova’s WISE program.
real Oscar experience. They treated Nick
and Frankie like movie stars.
32 | FALL 2011 JOURNAL OF COLLEGE ADMISSION W W W. N A C ACN E T.ORG